Episode 32 Transcript

Welcome to Episode 32 of the Fierce Fatty Podcast. I'm your host, Victoria Welsby. And in today's episode, we're talking about when is it okay to fat shame? Let's do it.

You're listening to the fierce fatty Podcast. I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem, to being a courageous and confident first fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop a negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the first fatty podcast. Let's begin.

Hello, hello. Hello, fatty. So nice to hang out with you. For this episode, I'm feeling good and excited to talk about what we're talking about today. Reason why I'm feeling good. Every time I've come on the podcast recently, I'm feeling good. Because lockdown is kind of being loosened a little bit in Ireland. It's still very strict. Like we can't really do anything. But I were allowed to drive five kilometers away from my house. And and so do you have me going on a little drive? I discovered a chip shop that was open. And I almost shit my pants with excitement. So I haven't had food that was not made by my hand. In over 10 weeks, three months? Yeah, I'd say three months. And I'm not a big, you know, food maker. I don't, you know, if I had if I had a partner, they would probably be making more food. And I'm like, thank you. But I just you know, like having access to food, which is not food that I've made. And so I was literally like, hi, you're open and I went and got a vegetarian pizza and chips. And the pizza was you know, in normal times, I would say it was a bit shit or mediocre. But it tasted so fucking good. And the chips when I say chips, you know British chips as in french fries, but they're not French fries. They're like fit cut, chips, Chip Shop chips. They're amazing. Oh, it was just so nice to be able to like come home and sit at the table and unwrap and eat something that I hadn't made. And now it's got me kind of thinking about the future of when I can actually go and eat more food. I want to go back to Vancouver. So in Ireland, I've said this before that we don't have a lot of food choices. Genuinely but then because I'm a vegetarian. Most of the things that I get is you know, goat's cheese tart or pasta and I'm just like, I'm so boring. Now. When I get back to Vancouver, I'm literally cannot wait to eat sushi. And this veggie burrito that I get from this place when it's in it's just so delicious and far and bomb me and Domino's Pizza and salt and pepper tofu. And I'm just gonna eat that food knows how I'm like putting this food on a pedestal and I'm just like, oh my god, I'm just gonna eat that food. Because I have been deprived of it. And I haven't had access to it. No, is that how I have I'm desiring it more and then when I get out I'll probably be like, Oh, this is good. And then you know when I know that I have access to it all the time or you know, lose interest Well, I won't lose interest because I still like it but you know, I mean, how you know it's just it goes exactly show to show what what happens when you die it and how you're just you can't help but think about the things that you can't have. Right? And I had I did have sushi so I went to LA

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gosh, maybe Six months ago now maybe? Actually no fuck it was in January. That feels like six months ago. Well, I guess it was four months ago anyway. And in in LAX and the LA Airport, they have a Japanese restaurant and they have a golden roll. And it's, I think it's $20. Us. And it's it was really disappointing. It was so rubbish. I was like, No. And the thing is in Vancouver because Vancouver is on the sea, we have really good and cheap sushi. And so a garden roll, which is basically what it is is like some cucumber, some maybe some avocado, maybe some carrot with some rice, that would cost like two bucks. And for me to pay, like $20 in us as well. So that would be probably 25 Canadian. Well, there's Shana laying. That's how desperate I wanted sushi. So I can't wait to get back to Vancouver to eat the sushi, or? Yeah, it's gonna be good. So I have got some more podcast reviews. Thank you, everybody since last episode, you've been showing me the love. I really appreciate it. I just want to share a couple. So Jeanette says, looking in a mirror. This podcast made me cry. I see myself in so many of Victoria's experiences. I'm just sorry. It's taking me until I'm 48 to realize how worthy I am. Thank you, Victoria, you are an inspiration. Thank you, Jeanette. And the next review is from Donna and Donna says amazing Victoria Welsby is a breath of fresh air and a fat phobic diet, culture world of judgment. She is oozing with real life examples of how fat phobia can impact your self esteem and make you miserable and offers practical ways to change your mindset and handle difficult situations. or breaking away from all the negativity This podcast is truly a gem. And let's face it, her accent is the coolest. Wow. Thank you. Thank you, Donna. I really appreciate that. And, and as well, exactly what Jeanette said,

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saying, Oh, I'm sorry, it's taking until I'm 48 to realize how worthy I am. That has been so many people stories, honestly, a lot of people getting to an age they think is too late. Or you know, wishing they had found it earlier. And I always just think Thank fuck you found it because you could be that person who up until the you know, in their dying breath thinking, you know, am I too fat. And whoa, so hopefully you've you've called it like 50% in through your life. And so that's pretty amazing. And but yeah, it sucks that we weren't all just taught this from children that our bodies are great. And we don't need a diet and all that sort of shit. So in today's episode, I'm going to be sharing links. And so I'm going to put those in the show notes. And as a reminder, go to first fatty.com forward slash zero through three, two, because episode 32 face fatty.com forward slash 032 for the show notes. And if you forget, and you want to go to the show notes, you can always just do first party.com forward slash podcast or just vSv just do it, you'll get you'll find it. So a reminder, those those people who sent me their reviews, guess what they got, they got a copy of my book fierce Batty, and audio and a digital copy. So if you would like an audio or digital copy of my book, then write a review and email me and take a screenshot of the review before you submit it. And I will send you the book free. Oh my gosh. And at the moment actually, I'm in the process of beginning to redesign my book and rejigger it around a little bit because I wrote it when I still hadn't rebranded to my business name being fair Smarty and my business name was banned power life and so I need to my graphic designer is is in the process of of looking to redesign the cover and also I'm going to be changing some of the bits in there and so once that's done, I might not be given away for free anymore. I haven't decided I might I might not. And I'm also going to be re recording it now I have better audio equipment. So re recording the audio book so that you can buy it on Audible. So right now You can buy it on my website. But like I say, you can get it for free if you write me a review. So if you're thinking about getting writing a review and you want that book before I start charging for the, the audio and Digital Copy, then do it now. Quack, quack, quack quack. Then again, I might might just keep it as is. Alright, so today's episode, we're talking about whether it's okay to shame, fat shame someone. And the reason why we're talking about this is because Nancy Pelosi, this is American politics. So sorry, if you're not American or interested in American politics, but man, Nancy Pelosi fat shamed. Donald Trump. And fat shamed him because he is. He's a massive bellend and he has started taking a medicine, which is not intended for him to guard against COVID-19 hydroxy. So hydroxy, Chloroquine hydroxychloroquine, which is super fucked up, because it could literally kill him. And he just mentioned this medicine before. And I read a story about a couple, an older couple who went out and got the medicine. They took it and both of them died. This is before he said he even started taking it. So he this will mean that people will die because what it does is it increases your heart rate, I think it makes you more susceptible to heart attacks. And so he said this in a prospect press conference, and everyone's like, he's such a fucking knob. And what Nancy Pelosi did and Nancy Pelosi is obviously thinks he's a knob as well. She said, this is from the BBC. Asked on Monday night by CNN about Mr. Trump's remarks, Mrs. Pelosi said she would rather he not be taking something that has not been approved by the scientists, especially in his age group. And in his, shall we say, weight group, quote unquote, morbid obese, they say that was her quote, the US House of Representatives Speaker said

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so. And so she wasn't saying that he's quote, unquote, morbidly obese as a neutral descriptor, right? She's saying, Oh, he's so fucking fat. He shouldn't be taking this because he's gonna keel over and die any second, right? And so, this is the first point that I want to talk about. Is it okay to fat shame, a really awful shitty person, aka Donald Trump. Well, the answer is, no. No, it's not okay to fat shame. Someone who is a really terrible, awful person. Literally, there are hundreds of reasons why Donald Trump is a complete and utter bellend. Like, he's, he's racist, he's sexist. He's a rapist. He's, he's, I'm just so mad. I think about all the ways that he is a bad human being. Now, is his weight one of those features that make him a bad human being? Absolutely not. No. It is a characteristic about him as a person, which is just like any other fat person. None of our business, not a personal fourth floor or failure, and not something that should be shamed. Do you remember when I think it was about three or four years ago? When the he was in the running to be president and there was loads of these installations of these art pieces? Which was Donald Trump naked? Or what people thought he was named? Where he looked like naked? And everyone was like, Yeah, this is so fucking funny. Oh my God. Look, he's so fat and look how small his penis is. That's transphobic by the way, laughing at the size of someone's penis. And obviously, it's fat phobic to say Oh, look how disgusting his body is because it's fat. Like, really? We have to go after his wait. Could we not go after the trillion other reasons why he is a horrific candidate to be President of the United States. Yeah, there's, there's loads of other things, right. So what happens when someone like Nancy Pelosi, someone who is meant to be a liberal says something like this? Well, us as a society learns something. So what do we learn about shaming Trump about his weight? Well, a lot of people will learn that it is absolutely a okay to shame Trump and therefore, shame anyone about their weight. And it's not. Some people might think, Well, Nancy Pelosi, she wasn't being that mean, I mean, she said she used a scientific term, which is, quote, morbid, quote, unquote, obesity, quote, unquote. And that is not a scientific term. So morbid obesity, that term, the morbid part is 100%. Something that is not and should not be used in science. Is it's, it's, it's literally not used, right? It's something that I can't remember how many years ago, like 40 years ago, someone said, Well, if someone's really fat, then they should be called morbid, because they're about to die. But it's not actually a scientific term people use and obesity. Yes, that is a term that is used in science. But the word obese is you is modeled on the BMI scale, which in previous episodes, I've explained why the BMI scale is super fucked up. The word meet obese means to have eaten until gotten fat. And so it's perpetuating stigmatizing language. The those words, the Oh words should not be in our language. There, it's a slur. And so she is saying she is being fat phobic, and using slurs to describe him.

Unknown Speaker 17:22

And so people who are liberal, will learn that fat shaming is fair game, and not actually a political issue. And it is a massive political issue. Some people are going to be looking at their own fat body and know that yet another person thinks that there is something wrong with it. And you know, if you are living a fat body, if you see your friends on social media being like, Ooh, she really burned him with that comment. And aha, that's so funny that she said that about him, she really showed him. You're learning from your friends that they think that your body is a joke as well. And it's not. Some people after hearing Nancy Pelosi is comment will avoid going to the doctor even longer, because they fear the stigma that they're going to face. Rightly so. That is directly impacting fat people's health. Some people will embark on yet another diet, which will damage their physical and mental health, again, directly harming fat people and even straight size people. Because straight size people of course, go on diets. Some health care providers are going to be buoyed in the idea that they need to shame their patients for being fat. Again, something that directly negatively impacts their well being. And even more people are going to buy into the false information that having a high BMI means that you're at greater risk for COVID 19, which still there has not been any clear evidence or data to show that this is in fact the case. And recently, even another study came out that showed that fat people are moderately better off against COVID-19 If they have that so and so this is just off the top of my head from hearing that she she made that comment, the impact that fat shaming, it has not only on fat people on everyone, and it kills fat people every day. So it's not okay to fat shame, a really awful person, especially if someone's really awful because it means that they're going to have other things which are legitimate things that you can Go after them for so if they're an awful person, why not be like hey, stop being an awful person and stop being a racist or sexist or you know, an Islamophobe whatever it is, versus being like hey, you're fat. Oh, we really got them home we said that they will fat is just really is not cool in any way. So what about is it okay to fat shame someone who is a thin shamer or a skinny shamer Is it okay to fat shame someone who was shaming you for your way and you're a smaller person or they have their fat shaming you when you're a fat person is that okay then so if they're going if they if they're if they're doing a low blow and shaming someone because they're so thin, should you retort with some like, Well, fuck you, you're so fat. I want to read something that I got. I just happened to get in my inbox this morning from Reagan Chasteen. Incredible Reagan Chasteen. The blog dancers were fat from Reagan, and Reagan wrote is fatphobia, the opposite of skinny shaming. So let me read you this little bit. This short blog post that Reagan penned. So, in a social media conversation, a fat person posted about fat phobia and received this response from a thin person. This is the response from a Facebook post from the thin person. I've never really heard of fat phobia. To be honest, I can tell you from the other side of the fence is pretty awful. When you're thin. In my case, underweight people just randomly asked me awful questions. Oh my god, you're so skinny do you eat, you should gain weight, you look better. sigh I would never talk about a person's body like that. So it's fat phobia like the opposite of me.

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I'm sure this person was not ill intentioned. But this is an exhibit excellent example of harmful behavior. That's driven by privilege and in this case, thin privilege. The person has never heard of fat phobia despite living in a world that is literally built on it. And instead of say of say googling to learn more about the oppression they have not previously been aware of, or even asking for education, they've decided their best move is to try and shift the conversation to their experiences a thin person, and to frame and refrain the concept of fat phobia as something that happens in relation to them. I'm sure that this person didn't mean to be harmful. But one of the ways that we can become more competent in dismantling oppression is to realize that centering ourselves in a discussion of other people's oppression is wrong, and that working to educate ourselves is the way to go. Now to answer the question is fatphobia the opposite of thin shaming? No, it's not. While Finn shaming is wrong, and harmful. fat shaming, including being asked rude questions is just one component of fat phobia, and weight stigma, which includes the shame stigma, bullying and systematic oppression that fat people experience. Our society is not built to accommodate fat people, meaning that fat people literally live in a different world than thin people, with greater oppression happening to those with larger bodies, and those with multiple oppressions. A few examples. Fat people have many fewer options when it comes to clothes. And our options are often more expensive, including because they aren't sold in source so we have to pay for shipping both ways to try them on. This affects not just our ability to develop personal style, but our ability to dress appropriately for situations from job interviews to red carpets. think people have an expectation that they will get be given accommodated. By seats wherever they go. Whether it's at a restaurant, on a roller coaster, at a wedding or funeral on plane, etc. Not only do businesses often fail to accommodate fat people, but but they often blame fat people and force us to pay twice as much for the same services. For example, a trip from point A to point B in a seat that accommodates us. Fat people often find it impossible to get ethical evidence based healthcare because our practitioners are so distracted by their stereotypes about body size and so committed to forcing our bodies to look different, even if they kill us in the process that they fail to treat our actual health issues. Fat people are hired less and paid less and thin counterparts. A study by Jennifer Chanel at Vanderbilt found that heavy women earned $9,000 Yes, less than average weight counterparts and very heavy women earned $19,000 left less very thin women on the other Hande earned $22,000 More than those who were merely average. And that's just the tip of the of a very large, very harmful iceberg. I'll mention that weight stigma harms people of all sizes, since it dirt drives unhealthy thoughts and behaviors around the fear of becoming fat. The harm it does to fat people would be enough to dedicate resources to dismantle it. fat phobia is real, and it deserves entire conversations that are not diluted or derailed by the experiences of thin people. So I will link to that blog post if you care to shave, share it from Regan Chasteen. Excellent, excellent writer resource on on how to dismantle fat phobia and diet culture bullshit. So the reason why I shared that is that a lot of people think that because they have been thin shamed, that they have similar experiences, people to people who are being fat shamed. And what that article is showing is that, no, when you're if you have a smaller body, you have privilege, you are able to fit into the world, and it absolutely is awful and offensive, if someone says something rude to you, and it should not be allowed, you do not also then have to experience a world that reinforces those ideas. In fact, thin people live in a world that reinforces that their body is the right body. And so say if then shaming is like, one out of 100 on the, you know, oppression spectrum and fat shaming is 100. You know, fat oppression is just, it doesn't compare, right? It's just they're two separate things. And so it's, it's not okay to fat shame. And it's not okay to thin shame. And

Unknown Speaker 27:08

something that, that I see a lot when people are new to fat positivity and body positivity, they will share memes about how awful thin people are. And that is not okay. You know, like the memes like dogs like bones and men like real women will fuck, you know, fat people are not real people. Like, No, I hate that. I hate that. I hate that phrase like fat, we're real people know, anyone with a body is a real person. Right? Because you're fat, it doesn't make you a real human being and you know, someone who is who is thin, it's fake. That's not true. So, that's not the way to go. Like, we don't need to divide ourselves and be like, listen, those Skinny Bitches over there. I mean, it's absolutely and right, we should look at the privilege that straight size people have and try and dismantle it. But by shaming someone's body to do that, that's not the way because we're just doing exactly what we're trying to stop from happening. But recognizing that if you thin shame, a straight size person, the damage that you know, the experience of being thin shamed is nowhere near the experience of being fat shamed in a society that hates fat people. So is it okay to shame? A fat person if they thin shame, you know? Is it okay to fat shame a fat person who fat shamed you when you're fat? No no, no, no, none of that we know we need to get away from thinking that talking about other people's bodies and comparing them and saying this body is better, even if you're saying fat bodies are better, is not okay. And again, recognizing the you know, obviously straight sides people have thin privilege that that people don't have but it's still not okay to shame anyone for any physical attribute really. I'm just not down for it. Especially you know, I mentioned before like the penis size thing I just I was watched so I'm really into I'm really into learning about like scam companies and multilevel marketing and pyramid schemes know that for years. I've been really into it and like following them and hoping that they don't trick any more people anyway. So there's a really good person that speaks about LM LM L M M's and talks she was talking about like this really shitty person and she's like, why have you got a really small penis and she just went on a on a like a two minute rant about how his penis must be smaller. I'm like, Nah, you ruined it. I thought you were liberal, but you are not you're shaming someone. They're literally a part of a scam Corporation Can't you pick on the fact that they are, you know, defrauding people and not their penis science, which you don't know. But anyway. Okay, so finally, this is one that I get genuinely asked. And the question is, Is it okay to fat shame someone in a nice way. Because someone that I love is really unhealthy. And they don't say fat shaming, they say, is it okay to tell someone that they should lose weight? Because they're really unhealthy? Is it okay, my, my sister, my friend, she really just needs to go on a diet, he really needs to work out more, and how can I approach them and say that in a nice way, a place that comes from love. And when I was on that BBC show, The Show producer came to me and was like, okay, so So at the end of it, we've been wrapping up filming, and they came to get my answer on something and brought the camera crew and everything, and was like, okay, so what do the audience do when they have a family member or someone that they love? Is that's really unhealthy because they're fat? Like, how do you tell a fat person to lose weight? And I was like, well, there's certain up here. Yeah. Yeah. Don't you mind your damn business? You don't? So are you there? Doctor? No. Mind you damn business. And if you are their doctor, are you able to offer evidence based weight neutral care for that person? No, then maybe you need to educate yourself and mind your damn business if you're gonna be prescribing a diet because they don't work.

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But then some people say but but but but they food that I have decided isn't healthy. They eat food. They eat food, and they're fat? How do I get them to stop eating food? Well, this is how you did it. Your mind your damn business? Mind your damn business. Shit. Like, when I work with people in coaching in my first factory Academy, the amount of stories that I hear from that people who say, My family told me Do you really need another helping? Do you really need to eat that? And it has really stuck with them and cause trauma and caused all other negative outcomes, which didn't include becoming thin. Right? And so people also say, but what? I've, what if I've never seen them exercise? They've never exercised in the whole life? Well, then should I tell them that they need to exercise and they need to lose weight? Well, this is what you need to do. You need to mind your damn business. Who know? Are you the boss of them? Like they might just not be an exercising type. They might exercise when they don't have the prying eyes of someone who's judging them on them. Maybe they do other things like maybe they don't, and it doesn't, it doesn't matter. You don't need to be moving your body to be a worthy human being or even to be healthy. And so people might say, but what if the fat person that I love doesn't like being fat? And is trying to lose weight? Well, then should I help them them? Should I say Oh, this diet is really good. And and you could you can do it, you can lose weight? Well, in this circumstance, you shouldn't mind your down business. And even that comes to if you have a fat person in your life who is like fat and doesn't want to be fat. And if they don't talk to you about this subject, and they're or they're losing weight on a diet or whatever, and they don't bring this subject up. You also shouldn't be like, Hey, you should Don't be on a diet, they don't work. You should just love your body unless they bring up the subject. Right? Just let them do what they want to do. And you can model your own positive behavior by not dieting and loving your fat body or you know, whatever. So did they come and ask you for advice? No. Then Mind your damn business. Right? So the reason why it's so important for people to mind their business when it comes to fat people's bodies and presuming they know the health status of someone that they love because they have seen what food they eat, they have seen their body size they've seen whether they exercise or how much they exercise or whatever is you are actively harming them. Okay? You care about that you care about their well being you care about their health, well then you need to educate yourself on what fat phobia shame and stigma does to fat people. It is so damaging. So your job is to unlearn fat phobia is to understand that if you want to fight for a better health of someone you love, then you need to work to dismantle diet culture on our culture, cultures deep fear of fatness. So if you really cared about someone in your life who's who's fat and you've decided is unhealthy, or you quote unquote, know that are unhealthy because they, you know, said one time will I don't feel well or whatever, or my doctor said that this I have this issue or whatever. If you really care about their health, and you need to do work on yourself and not give them advice about how to reduce their body size, because you are further stigmatizing them, marginalizing them, shaming them, and that is not good for their health. So I'm going to read a little bit from

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anti diet, which is Christy Harrison's book about what shame does and we've we've kind of spoken about it a bit, but let's let's round out on, on what it's on it does. Okay, so this is page 136, of anti diet by Christy Harrison. And we start with weight stigma has been linked to an increased risk of mental health conditions such as disordered eating, emotional distress, negative body image, low self esteem and depression. That's understandable, it feels awful to be stigmatized. And people in larger bodies get stigmatized from all sides. They're often bullied and shamed in school at home, walking down the street and in the doctor's office. Because of the pervasive weight bias in our society, people in larger bodies are less likely to get hired for jobs. And even when they do, they're paid lower wages and their thin peers. They're also constantly barrage with media messages about the so called quote unquote, obesity epidemic, and the supposed perils of higher weights, which only reinforces the message that they've already gotten from all corners of society, and their bodies are a problem to be solved. What you may not know is that abundant scientific evidence shows that weight stigma, okay, fat phobia is also an independent risk factor for an array of negative physical health outcomes such as diabetes and heart disease, regardless of people's actual body size. That means to people at the same point on the BMI chart can have very different physical health risks. Depending on the degree of weight stigma they've experienced and internalized in their life. A person in a smaller body with a lot of weight based self loathing may actually be at greater risk for poor health outcomes than a thin person in a much larger, larger body, who's learned to accept their size and fight back against weight stigma. And the that last bit about the physical health that's actually quoting a study that I had previously quoted in another episode of the podcast about, yeah, basically, weight stigma, aka fat phobia. It's just it's just another word for fat phobia affects everyone, no matter what your weight is. So if you care about your loved one, you will unlearn fatphobia, which also helps you so do it for selfish reasons, you know, unlearn fatphobia only to reduce your own, you know, weight bias that you might be putting on your self. So you can you know, be selfish in that. That thing, and that's if you're straight size or if you're, you know, whatever size fat that you that you may be, so Who if shaming worked in the way that a lot of people use shame to motivate people to become thin? If shaming worked, everyone would be thin. And everyone would be quote unquote, healthy. But big are they all we know, because shaming, illusion does the opposite actually people who are shamed tend to be higher weights. Not that there's anything wrong with being a high weight, but it initially does the opposite. And so I know you're not shaming someone in this instance. So if you're shame if you're shaming someone, because you want to like laugh at them, you're not shaming them, because you want them to be happy, you're shaming them, because you want them to be ashamed. You know, so not all shame comes from a good place, obviously. But

Unknown Speaker 40:57

if you shame someone on their appearance on their weight, what it shows to me and to the world around is that that person who is fat phobic is holding on to bigoted beliefs. It shows that you think that being fat is a negative characteristic? Because why mention it? If you didn't think it was a negative thing, like Nancy Pelosi is not out there being like, well, you know, you know, Trump, you know, because of his his his hair color, because of his eye color. People with his eye color for he better watch out? No, because that's just a characteristic about someone that we haven't attributed negative things to. The fact that people are bringing up means that we as a society, or that person thinks that that is a bad thing. And white feminism is terrible for this. And it's really frustrating. So many white feminists, white feminist women are like, don't be racist, don't be sexist. But then when it comes to weight, they're like, Oh, don't be fat. Oh, well, that's nasty. We don't wanna be fat, eat healthy, you eat organic, no GMO, all that bullshit. And they will say that intersectional. But they're not intersectional when it comes to weight. So intersectionality just an FYI, is a term that was coined by Kimberly Crenshaw in 1989. And let me read a little bit from Wikipedia. What it is intersectionality is a theoretical framework for understanding how aspects of one's social and political identities might combine to create unique models of discrimination. It aims to broaden the agenda or first wave feminism, which along largely focuses on the experiences of white middle class women. So if you want to be a good feminist, you know, if you want to strive to be a good feminist was a good feminist, you will look at all of the marginalization that are out there. Or the different intersections and recognize how people who have different identities are differently impacted to say, if you like me, or a white woman, my life is just that little bit easier, because I'm not a person of color. And if you are a white man, your life is just a little bit easier than if you're a white woman, or if you're a man of color, or if you are a fat man of color, or a fat woman of color, or a fat disabled woman of color. Or, you know, the list goes on. And so there's lots of different intersectionalities and so there's different waves of feminists who align with like, we're, you know, we're really great feminists, but we hate transgender people. They're not transgender women aren't women, and that is fucking bullshit. And so you've got those that they're called turfs, trans exclusionary radical feminists, you also got swerves, which is sex worker, exclusionary radical feminists. And it's the exclusionary bit which is fucked up. So feminism is saying, hey, let's just treat people equally. Right? So everyone loads people like I'm not a feminist. I don't hate men. It's not about hating men. It's Do you think that that people should be treated equally? Well, yes, well, then you're a feminist. So, and that goes for fat people too. But it's so hard for Some people because they're so deeply fat phobic and they cannot see how fat phobia is a political issue how health is a political issue? And they hold on to the idea that fat people just aren't trying hard enough that they have quote unquote, brought this on their selves or whatever. And that's not true. So, in conclusion, is it okay to fat shame someone who is a massive bellend like Donald Trump? No. Go about go after the things that make them a bellend Is it okay to fat shame? Someone who's skinny shamed you or fat shame someone who's fat shamed you because you're fat? No, let's not go after people as appearances.

Unknown Speaker 45:56

And is it okay to fat shame in a nice way to try and get your fat loved one to become thin. And what does shame do? It damages our physical and mental health and not just fat people. Everyone in society is hurt by fat phobia. So let's just not do it. Right. Should we decide that today? No more fat phobia. Should we decide? Okay? Are you in? Are you in with me to decide? No more fat phobia. Okay, done. All right, we've banished a phobia from the world no more fat phobia. For the next one second. Maybe there was not fat phobia for like one second right there. We did it. We did it with our brain power right them. Yes. So if you want to tell someone to fuck off, because they're an absolute knob head, the worst human in the world. Just tell them to fuck off and don't say fuck off your fat piece of shit. Just say fuck off your piece of shit. You know, it's my it's not be big as I discovered, hey, guess what I discovered. I discovered this is like two years old. I'm on the cutting edge of discovering new singers. But I discovered a new fat singer from Israel called Neto. And Netta has got some really cool songs. And what Netta does is she like beatbox. And you know, one of those loop machines where you like, you'll lay down a beat and it's on a loop machine. And then you'll do like another bit and then it's bit over and then make a song out of it. It's really, it's really good. And so she won the 2018 Eurovision Song Contest. Now, if you are not European, you might be like, What the fuck is the euro? Eurovision Song Contest? Well, it is. I don't even know how to begin to describe it. It is. So all of the countries in Europe. And I think some countries actually that are not in Europe have joined as well, will come together once a year. And they will bring their best singer to sing a song and all the countries in her in the competition, like all the citizens of the country will vote for who's the best song. Now traditionally, it is super cheesy and funny. Like, the people are not necessarily sending like their best like I'm like, Why doesn't the UK send like I didn't know the number one pop star at the time? Well, because the number one pop star at the time is like I am wasting my time on the Eurovision Song Contest. And so you get you know, really quirky and unique offerings from different countries. And you know, a lot of times it's a bit shit and all there was always we always had an Irish commentator, and he was really funny. He died in the last few years. I don't know who I think there was. There's another Irish person that does the common common tation or common common commenting. NARRATION you know, I mean, on it and it's it's a pretty good steal but this year they didn't they couldn't have they couldn't have it because of COVID and, and Netta did a song again in this year's Eurovision Song Contest anyway, so there's one song one song that I'm really vibing on which is better said baba, baba salsa bow bad dad that that and she's got like very colorful videos. So I'll link that to that in the show notes. First fatty.com forward slash zero Free to offer you just want to go and find it right now. Bassa said Baba from Netta ne TTA. And it's bas s a next word. S A ba ba. Ba said Baba. Yeah, so fatty Singh is if you have any come across any cool fatty singers let me know I'm always trying to collect, collect, find them, add them to my, my playlists and whatnot.

Unknown Speaker 50:30

So let me know. And reminder, leave a review with Jol that would be really calm. And if you ever want to consider joining fierce, fatty Academy, which is the place where I teach you all of the juicy stuff, then feel free to drop me an email Victoria at first fatty.com Go onto my website and sign up for the waitlist. I opened the door sporadically. So who knows if the doors are open now? They're not like who knows? Well, I know they're not. But you can get on the waitlist, too. If you go on the website or just email me or whatever. So all right, well, thank you for hanging out with me today. It's been a slice. As always, I hope you are surviving the final kind of not final but the winding down of the lockdowns, actually, I read this really cool article about how we're in the fourth quarter, or third third of isolation. It was really interesting, I wonder if I can find the article and put it in in the show notes. But basically, they studied so when astronauts go to space, no matter how long their mission is, say if it's 100 days, or if it's 1000 days, in the final quarter. That is when interpersonal relationships become really strained. And that's when it becomes very difficult. And so when there's hope on the horizon, or when people go to like Antarctica, and they'll they'll go in, and they'll stay there for the winter. And so they can't leave until then the summer and so when they see the ice start to melt, then they know that they're getting close to the end, that's when the interpersonal relationships really fail. And that is the one of the most difficult things that NASA or whoever is leading these missions have to deal with, like they can they can work on all the science, but they cannot necessarily control how the astronauts or how the scientists relate to each other. And so it's this phenomenon where people just get down and they start arguing and I was actually getting my blood taken at the doctor's a couple of weeks ago. And I was telling her about this. This thing and she's like, Oh my god, yeah, loads of people have been saying that they've been having arguments and they're just really stressed out right now. And so if you're getting that if you're feeling like, you know, the people in your house, you're like, fuck off. I hate you. Why are you such awful people? Then it might be because of this fourth quarter phenomenon because we can see, it's not the light at the end of the tunnel. Now, you know, versus before we were like, when's this gonna end? Where now we can see maybe, you know, in the next few months, we might be able to touch another human. Who knows. And so, yeah, so if you're experiencing that, and it's probably normal. Maybe it's not. But yeah, I'll see if I can find that article and put it in the show notes because really interesting. So anyway, okay. Thanks for hanging out with me today. I will see you on the next episode. Have an incredible rest of your day. And big fatty love and hugs to you. Okay, bye fatty my.