Episode 126 Transcript

You're listening to The Fierce Fatty Podcast episode 126, Stories from Weight Loss Surgery Survivors Part 2. I'm your host Vinny Welsby. Let's do it

I'm Vinny Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author, and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fierce fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. Society teaches us living with a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money, and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the Fierce Fatty Podcast Let's begin.

Hello, and welcome to this podcast episode. Welcome to new listeners. Old listeners. Medium listeners. Are you doing how's life? I'm feeling fair to middlin Fair to middling today. Because Because Because Because Because because I had four fillings yesterday. Oh, boys dead for feelings. But feelings are normally All right. All right, but that I had one in my not the two front teeth. The one to the side is that the canine another one in front of the canine. I had a feeling though when I was like 15. And so it's been 22 years in there. And so they replaced it and they have to put the injection kind of up, up. Not Pinos. But it kind of feels like that. And I traumatize me when I was a kid, that was my first ever feeling. I'd had plenty of like injections before because I'd had like loads of teeth out for braces. But that was the first time anything at the front. And it was it's painful. It's like that's not what that's not fun. Although like the pain only lasts for 10 seconds. So I wish I could have just told myself like, because I remembered as being a kid and having this and single solitary tear rolling down my cheek from the pain of it. And exactly the same thing happened to single solitary tear around down my cheek from the pain of it, but it wasn't as bad because it's now Manado and I was doing like breathing techniques and whatnot. Anyways, so this is your reminder to go to the dentist that was from me not going to the dentist for two years when I was in Ireland. Because I was like Ah, okay, you know, I'm in Ireland, I'm going to be leaving soon any day now then a pandemic pandemic happened and so I didn't go to the dentist materials. And for fillings district show for it. Thank you very much teeth, but also genetics. You know, some people have harder teeth. I'm using the word harder. That's not a word that dentists use, but some people just don't get feelings right. Or decay or whatever. You're lucky motherfuckers but I'm one of the people that do about you know, whatever. So I don't know if I told you about me reading this book the tragedy tragedy tragedy. Tragic tragedy, tragedy. Tragedy of heterosexuality by Jane Ward, author of not gay, and I just finished reading it a couple of days ago and it's fucking good. Oh my glob, the tragedy of heterosexuality talks about well let me go to the contents page let's call it what it is a tragedy had had her sexuality sexuality. He's just not that into you. The misogyny paradox? Pickup Artists inside the inside the seduction industry. A sick and boring life queer people diagnosed the tragedy, deep heterosexuality towards a future in which straight men like women so much that they actually like women. So we're talking about like,

Unknown Speaker 4:50

the heterosexual repair industry talks about how in the past we're all very much more gayer in society, obviously Before white people came along and said it was bad, white people are the worst. And so, women were with women a lot more men were men a lot more. And so when we decided this was a bad thing, and people said, Listen, you need to be with the opposite sex. men weren't really into it. And so neither were women. And, and so they kind of had to be coached into dealing with each other. You know? Yeah. And how, you know, like, with straight people, there's a lot of kind of, when I get married, all the old ball and chain all my life's over now and people say, you know, I hate my husband and always say that he's the worst, He's so annoying. And, and that's not a lot of what happens in queer relationships. And a lot of times women are be treated like a being being abused and treated terribly. And, and being told that they need to adhere to certain rules. Like, if we think about, they talk about men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. Fuck, and I loved that book when I was when I was like, 15. I, that was the first book I ever bought, with my pocket money. I could catch me a man was men are from Mars, Women are from Venus. And I was like, I'm sure I've got the Bible now. Now, and I had to talk to men. And I have to let them be in their cave and lalalalalala. And it's all total bullshit, right? And yeah, pickup artist stuff. I'm so interested by Pickup Artists stuff. Because it's in the book, Jane talks about how how a lot of them are just are just kind of lonely guys, and they are struggling to talk to women. And really, what they need is confidence boosting and the new modern way of pickup artists stuff is a lot of the more modern pickup artists talk about boosting men's confidence so that they can talk to women. And then previously, it was a lot more shady kind of like how to neg women and how to trick them into having sex with you, basically. But yeah, but there was still lots of creepy guys at these conferences who are like, I'm just here to get some high quality policy. Oh, lovely. Yeah, and then ending with like deep, deep heterosexuality is where if you really do love women, men, if men really do love women, then they will love everything about them. And they will seek out womanhood in all its forms, like they'll seek seek out women, women authors and women, content creators and listen to women and all that type of stuff. So that's kind of like deep heterosexuality, where, you know, they actually like the look of women, as women versus women as these shaved and slimmed down and died. And, you know, all of these versions of women that we've been told, is the standard of beauty. So yeah, really interesting book. Really interesting. And one thing about it was, though, like, like, she talks about fat stuff, she mentioned fat people, not in depth, but because it's a book about, about straightness, but she does talk about how fat folks are marginalized. And she talks about how in the queer community, different types of bodies, old bodies, fat bodies, disabled bodies, are often not always, obviously, there's tons of fat phobia and

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all sorts of bigotry in all communities. But a lot of times the way that we look at the way that the queer community lesbians by folk pansexual people will look at women is more kind of accepting and valuing those traits, which are just natural to human bodies. And there's a snippet here from written. She's taken it the author's taken it from Audrey Lords book zombie. It's just like just a little clip here. I just want to share with you, which was nice about the It was a way that she Audrey Lord viewed her fat lover and her fat body. So, Audrey Lord examI reverently describes ginger, her first lover as gorgeously fat with an open knowledge about her body's movement that was delicate and precise. She had pads of fat firm fat above her thighs and round dimpled knees loving ginger that night was like coming home to a joy I was meant for and I really loved that because it reminds me of the need I might do I might do an episode on this the need to hear fatness in that way, because we talk a lot about how fatness is an attractive and people don't like fat bodies, but there are millions of people out there who are thirsty for fat bodies. And and we need to hear those stories and not the creepy people, people who can see that fat person as a whole person. But it was it was really nice. It was really nice. There here's another little quote here about an old old woman, Sherry mulgara. Two desires a woman with age accomplishment of Elena, the woman she lusts for Moraga states, I am ready for you now. I want age, knowledge, your body that still after years withholds and surrenders keeps me there waiting, wishing, willing, willing to feel this time what disrupts in me, girl, woman, child boy, willing to embody what I will in the space of her arms. And the author continues lesbian feminist desire in these accounts is defined not purely by to women's sexual attraction to each other. But by a quality of desiring women in which the objects of one's lust are women's complexities and accomplishments, both corporeal and otherwise, the best women lovers have the scars to hunger, the weight, the teeth, and the political and sexual experience that allows them to know and harness their erotic will through Lord desiring gays, Audrey Lorde physical features that are often cast as de erotica sizing. imperfections in the straight world are remade into sites of pleasure. Yeah, so I just love that I thought that was beautiful. And something that we don't talk about a lot about how we a lot of the times we view fatness through the male gaze, right? And actually the world shouldn't evolve around what sis hat men want and desire. But, and that as fact. And even if we do look at what purses hit men desire, what is going on? And like, where is that coming from? How were they influenced? Do we want to buy into those? Those very limited definition of desire. I mean, to me, it's just very boring, isn't it? Whereas queerness in all its forms. It just feels so free. In in contradiction to that. So anyway, now this episode, we are going to kind of continue on where we left off in episode one to two you don't have to have listened to one to two, which was stories from weight loss survivors eight year years post surgery if you want to go quick link to get there. It's just base fatty.com forward slash 122 To listen to that episode. You don't need to but in that episode I talk talk about more complexities in regards to maybe Why people do have the surgery and why they're not to blame? People who choose to do it, there's it's a very complex thing and all that type of stuff.

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So if you want more of that kind of context, then go back to that you don't have to. But there is that an a giant trigger warning here, because we're going to be talking about death, bad health outcomes, and general or full fat hate. And so if you're not feeling that today, then skip the episode because I'm going to be reading the comments on my Instagram post. So I made an Instagram post about the episode. And I shared a couple more stories. And it came like they're 70 comments just on that. And then there's comments on the other posts I made around this too. And people just felt like it just an outpouring of this, here's my story, and I've not had anywhere to share it, and no one's listening to me. And they were so effecting to me and written like reading them, there's so many of them. It's like holy shit. And I think it was nice for folks who have experienced that to know that they're not alone, that their body isn't bad or wrong or hurt, or they've done something wrong to deserve these outcomes. Even though it is very, very painful to hear it and see it and all that type of stuff. So yeah, so take care of yourself. If you just left, it doesn't feel like a good time to listen to this. And even if you do stick around at any point, if this feels like too much, then feel free to pause the episode. And afterwards, perhaps give yourself a little bit of TLC because, you know, I'm not going to be reading 70 comments I'm going to be reading maybe, I don't know, 20 fives, maybe a little bit more. Yeah, so yeah, so let's, let's read these. Now, in the post that I made. I'll link to in the show notes. The show notes for this is facebook.com forward slash 126, if you want to share, but I added in a couple more stories from from people on Instagram, because I was talking about this in my stories. And Becky from Becky Barnes blog, messaged me and said, yeah, oh my god, like, this is my experience. And I thought, you know, this is another important story that needs to be shared. And so I summarized it in in a in this post here. And this is what Becky says, My GP didn't really understand the procedure. And when I fell pregnant 13 years ago, there were no support, there was no support whatsoever. I had to rely on common threads from America, where there were a little more where there was a little more shared knowledge and experience. I was incredibly ill during pregnancy. And it's only now that I realized that my baby was taking the nutrients they needed to survive, leaving me on empty. The whole thing is a mess. I'm astounded, it's still deemed a positive process procedure. The damage and stress it has caused me will stay with me for the rest of my life. I was 27 when I had it. I'm chronically vitamin deficient. I have IBD, which the gastro team confirmed is greatly aggravated by the gastric bypass. I'm constantly in pain, tired, and generally a bit of a miserable bastard. To be honest. I tried to crack on with life, but it's had such a huge impact on my daily life. So that's Becky from the UK. Caitlin on underlay at reframe your story. Talks about both both people talk about this on their accounts. This is what Caden says. There was no part of me that made the decision to have weight loss surgery from a place of self love. It came from a came from deep self hatred and longing to be accepted. I told myself it didn't have to do with weight loss. It was about my health. I thought I was a ticking time bomb. And that if I stayed in this body, it would be it would inevitably lead me to health issues. I thought it was only a matter of time. When the majority of society views your body as part of an epidemic and a strain on society, it makes sense that a person would want to change that. So people make the decision to have stomachs banded, amputated, and rerouted, they are encouraged by doctors and other professionals to put a permanent physical restriction on themselves.

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The most sick part of this is that I knew and wanted there to be pain if I ate one bite too many, so I had to face the consequences of living in my body. The true consequences of all this and, and a lifetime of being told my body was wrong, was falling deeper into my eating disorder behaviors. And for that I was praised. So that's Caitlin on delay at reframe your story. Now I'm going to read comments on the post, some of them Okay, so, for years, every single one of my doctors suggested that I have weight loss surgery. I have started the process twice and something never sat well with me about it. I watched friends grow through the pre surgical requirement of losing a bit of weight prior having surgery getting ill or differently. As a result, losing weight, gaining weight, mentally struggling with feelings of failure, and deep shame. I refused multiple times. When I was 37. I learned that I learned that I have a fat disorder, lipo edema, late stage three that causes non metabolic fibrotic fat lobules to fill my arms and legs. These cannot be dieted or exercised away. Many undiagnosed and diagnose lipo edema patients have weight loss surgery, lipo edema remains, the legs will remain large sometimes and their midsections get very small. If they also have it on the arms like I do, then their arms will be a bit larger to one in 11 women and people assigned female at birth were born with lipid edema. Even more important is that a good number of those people who also have hyper mobile, Ehlers Danlos Syndrome, often a comorbidity of like edema, and other connective tissue disorder, eds can present with digestive issues. What cannot be determined with any accuracy is how much of a person's body consists of metabolic fat and lipid Dima, when weight loss surgery is suggested to someone who doesn't know they have lipo edema, it can be physically mentally and emotionally devastating. Yes. And this comment made me think of pale ginger pear, who's someone that I follow on Instagram pale ginger, pear, and she too had gone through the experience of being told to that she needed to obviously lose weight. And she has like edema and a doctor I think I'd know I don't know but there's a medical team that's that's doing surgeries for because it it needs to be removed. Right the because it's it's not something that is you know, it's a genetic thing right and it people really struggle with it. And obviously don't want to say it needs to be removed depending on on how much it affects someone. It can be removed and that taken away and pale ginger pear shares that journey on her Instagram. Now trigger warning for that is that there may be some feelings that come up of she looks quote better now that she has a smaller body due to these surgeries. So if that's not feeling good for you, then you know maybe skip that but if you think that you might have lymphedema and you want to learn more, or if you do then that's a page for you. Okay, so next next comment. So after listening to this, I would say this made me feel very anxious the idea of making people purge on purpose felt very violent. And yes, me being from Finland, the Nordic countries are so deeply fat phobic. This is pushed for free and celebrated in our national news media. I can't seem to shake the feeling of horror and violence from these stories. This very literally hurts. Yeah. Next comment, my dad just died due to bariatric surgery that went wrong. I'm on a plane to go help plan his funeral. People need to know how dangerous As it is,

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and that's a big side that we don't hear is the family of those who have died due to their surgery. Because they know they're probably not in the same communities, they probably don't know where to go to talk about this often or you know. And people will probably say to them, wow, they were they were gonna die from being fat anyway, or something like that. And so having a place to talk about this stuff, where it's free from judgment is is really important and resource for family members who, who are suffering through the loss of a loved one due to this barbaric thing. Next comment, I definitely developed an eating disorder from my VSG. So VSG is a type of bariatric surgery. I don't regret it necessarily. But I wish I knew what I know. Now before I did it.

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Yeah, so not everyone regrets getting surgery that those cases are kind of few and far between.

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Next comment, these stories are very familiar and so sad. I had my bypass in 2013. And I was died, I was denied fertility treatment until my BMI was below X. I went from BMI of x to x within a year and the fertility treatment didn't work. So she went from this person went from a BMI that was higher than what they asked for, to lower than underneath the cut off point. Well underneath a cutoff point, and the treatment didn't work. I'm now in early menopause and have gone back to a BMI of the amount that before the cutoff. There's no research about men about menopause after weight loss surgery, none. My doctors didn't know what to do. And my surgeon told me to get over it. It's fucked up. Yeah, so you know, getting pregnant. If someone is struggling with getting pregnant, and are seeking fertility treatments, it's sad. To me, it seems counterintuitive, intuitive that they would make that person go through weight loss, whether on their own or this surgery, which just you're putting your body in a crisis mode of like, your body's like, What the fuck, like, give me some food. We're in crisis, we don't know what's going on. And so it's not setting you up to be able to get pregnant, like your body is not in this this best place. If you want to learn more about this and the whole kind of bullshit around fertility, and that stuff, go check out Nicola salmon, fat positive fertility, on Instagram Nicola salmon, fat positive fertility, on Instagram, she's got a book, you can go read that. And she's great. You like everything that you've heard about, you know, like you can't be can't be fat and pregnant. And if you're fat and pregnant, then you're you know, you're putting your baby at risk and all that type of stuff. She breaks down that stuff. And it's like, oh, surprise, surprise. It's It's not based it you know, it's not it's not it's not what we've been led to believe. You know? Okay, next comment. I had it. August a few years ago. First, you have to do a liquid only diet, in my case, one week before surgery, and one week post op, followed by one week soft food only, and that, in my opinion, messed with my already fractured relationship with food. I initially lost X amount of pounds, and then proceeded to gain it all back and more. I struggled to struggle to ever feel mentally satisfied with food, where I could feel that easier before. I can only eat a little at a time compared to before, but it hasn't magically made me thin just dissatisfied with meals and easily over fooled to the point of throwing up and often. I had zero so called comorbidity morbidities I did my best to convince myself it was better for my health, even though I was already healthy. What I personally really wanted was to be accepted or loved by society and myself. I wanted to quote look better All my doctors knew I had no comorbidities but they wanted me smaller and I did too. They ripped out over half my healthy stomach in the name of health. Now my disordered eating is worse. I throw it regularly and I have chronic heartburn for what? Huh? I just really I feel a really feel the anger in that and the frustration and the for what? Yeah, for what? Yeah. Okay. Next, my sister had the guy who got the gastric bypass about 13 years ago. Last year she needed a liver transplant because of it. She does not drink alcohol. We found out after her liver failed that studies have shown people who have GB gastric bypass have a higher correlation to liver failure not caused by alcohol. Yep. And and and and studies show that there's a higher rate the higher likelihood that someone who's going to be struggle with with alcohol.

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And as we saw in previous stories, because some people say like it's just easier to drink alcohol than it is to eat food. And then you get into that pattern. Next story, I got told today by my doctor that she recommends this surgery for me, other than a high BMI I have no medical issues, blood pressure, blood sugars, everything is normal. I feel very surprised and overwhelmed. I didn't go to my appointment to talk about weight and I left in tears. Yeah. I wonder you know, like they I wonder how often doctors get kind of, yeah, they get more money they do and not in all countries, but just to write a note saying counseled on weight. And if they get a kickback if they refer to the surgeries or not. I know with my my doctor, it's so annoying, like in England with repeat prescriptions. You have these prescriptions and you just call the doctor and say can you fill my prescription call the reception and they'll say yet done and you don't have to see the doctor because it's like prescriptions that you've been having for years. Like I've had prescriptions since I was a child and yet every time I need to refill and they only give me three months of the drugs I have to make an appointment with a doctor so that then she can get the I guess the the consult fee and that's just the way it is it's just such a waste of my time their time it's just ridiculous. It was like what do you need this There we go. And they take it Chica check a box. Right. And I wonder they do obviously as well get in some countries. If you check a box saying counseled on wait, so why wouldn't they? I mean, unless they want to be ethical and be kind to patients. Why wouldn't they? And and you know every country is different but looking at you, America, United States. Okay, next, I had my gastric sleeve done Jan 2021. As a last ditch attempt to save my liver. I have a rare reaction to birth control pill and ended up in acute liver failure. While I'm glad the surgery saved me it caused me a great deal of distress and complications. I now have good get dizzy easily. I shoot myself on occasion feel tired and weak a lot of the time and will have to take a mountain of pills every day until I die. I experienced hunger so intense that it would wake me up at night due to the pain. Yeah, being able to wear standard size tops and dresses make my life more convenient and I feel less judged in public but the bariatric community I've been in has been extremely toxic or toxic and the whole experience will likely take years to fully process. I strongly believe that bariatric surgery is overprescribed and that patients are rarely prepared for how these procedures will wholly affect them moving forward.

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I wonder how. What was the connection between having liver failure and having the surgery? I'm curious about that. Yeah. I had the sleeve six months ago and admittedly no complicated. shouldn't but I wish I'd had it years ago, I feel a million times better. It is sad to see how different I've been treated though, compared to when I was heavier.

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Yeah, so and that's, that's one of the sad realities, right? Of being in a marginalized group and then moving into a group, who is who are privileged being straight sized. That's really sad to see how it was just body size that's, that saw people treating you differently. And this person is six months out, and hopefully, they're there. They have community around them and support because, as we know, in the last episode, as we know, that two years to five years, same with diets is when things start going tits up, that's when people start putting weight on through no fault of their own. And, yeah, and that's where study stop. You know, we don't have studies long term studies. So, yeah. This one comment says, I had it at 13 Thank you for this 13 Can you imagine like it because your body your you know, your body is growing? What at that severe lack of of nutrients is doing to a growing body? And ah, can you my eyes just can't even imagine. Next comment is interesting reading this, I'm in the US and the surgeries are more are very common here. People are shocked when I say I'm scared of doing the surgeries and all the complications problems after they have no idea that there are so many, even people who have had the surgery act surprised and they're like, I don't have issues. I answer, really, you don't have malabsorption issues. You don't struggle with your weight. And there'll be like, Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's almost kind of like, wow, I guess for to be thin. Some folks will be like, well, you know, if you had asked me in the past, what would you give to be thin? I would give a lot. And so maybe to some people, these issues are worth it. Because they are now in a privileged group that is so valuable to them. And I mean, that not saying that's right or wrong? Because being in a marginalized group is difficult. Very difficult. So, I mean, for some people, it's worth it. You know, and obviously, we don't know what's going to happen to each person individually. When they have surgery, you could be one of the people that that you'll say, oh, yeah, I'm fine. I can deal with the Malibu malabsorption absorption and I can deal with this and I can deal with shit and myself. And that's not a big deal for me. Or you could be one of the people who dies. Next story. My dad had essentially a gastric bypass as treatment for stomach cancer. He had no other treatment, just that it was horrendous. He lost about half of his body weight. His quality of life suffered immensely, and so did mine and my mum's. Of course, we were just happy his cancer was gone. But if it had been something he had just decided to do, because because he was fat, I would have a massive amount of resentment, resentment towards him now. That's tough. Next, I had gastric bypass and it's such a big deal and people don't realize that likely not able to eat certain foods for life. Gallbladder problems, kidney stones. Now I'm having to navigate insurance changes with bariatric surgeons who I'm still required to see. It's so heavy and so hard. Yeah, I had my gallbladder out and so I can tell you a gold stuck gallstones. That is no fun. No fun at all. Getting a gallstone attack is

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awful. Next, love this being voiced. This is something I'm hoping to study in my own country, as I have had this experience of walking into the doctor's office with a lump in my armpit and having been offered to surgery instead, nobody ever bothered with with said lump. Now this idea and treatment messed me up, the doctor was super excited about getting to enroll me in this. They had new funding and everything feels like the Nordic countries are particularly grim in their systemic fat hate. I hope this surgery gets banned eventually, it is violence in my book. And at the end of today's episode, we're actually going to hear from a bariatric surgeon to see what they think. Hint, it's bullshit. Yeah, next, I want the surgery because the impact of impact my weight has on my disability and because my disability causes me to gain weight easily, I'm losing my independence. But I'm so scared of messing up my already on the edge of body sad face. Yeah, this is I think this is really important to voice here. Because seeing kind of like the lose lose situation that some people are struggling with, have. They've been told here is a solution to your current pain. Yes, it's not going to be easy, but it here is a solution for you. Why would you not want to do that? And with this pay person, the impact my weight has on my disability? And so from from my point of view, I would be curious about like, what is the impact your weight has on your on your disability? What what are your goals? What do you want to do? Do you want to increase your mobility? Do you want to increase your strength? Do you want to learn how to feel at home in your body? These are all things that that we can work towards, without having to cut out an organ but how rare is it that that people would get that message? You know, not It's not often is it next got the gastric band in 2012. Because of the brainwashing The doctors did on my parents. I was 19 years old. When it didn't work. They suggested I do the gastric sleeve surgery on the 15th of April 2013. They made me do the surgery and a month later I got diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Ms has major links to vitamin D deficiencies. Cut to today and the ramifications of that shit show us of a surgery still remain. One is constantly combating poor absorption, low energy levels, circulation issues, and massive deficiencies. Oh my goodness. Yeah. And we think about and we're thinking about people who are outside of the surgery, don't have other big things going on in regards to health. And I mean, Ms. That's, that's, that's life changing. And having to deal with a diagnosis like that alongside being disabled by this surgery makes dealing with something like Ms. So much more difficult. Versus if if this person didn't have surgery, what might might the outcomes be? How might she be able to manage her MS better. Okay, next, the decision was made by my mom on the pretext of health because thin equals healthy. I'm at I'm at worse I am worse off because of the lack of nutrients and I ever was when I was fat. Next, Wow, I feel all these stories. I connect with them deeply. I know exactly how it feels. Thanks for sharing, I feel seen

Unknown Speaker 44:02

NeXT, another example of weight loss horror over here. Weight loss surgery horror over here and nowhere to tell my story either no one is remotely interested in it. I didn't even get short term follow up let alone long term. And the long term effects on my body are that I am now disabled and unable to work. Another fat person life life's ruined. Biggest irony is that not is that I need to other surgeries that are not happening because they will not operate on me. When I'm at my current weight. Guess what wait I was when they performed the gastric band surgery butchery and it's higher than her current weight. So yeah, surprise, surprise I were able to perform surgery on her when she was high await when it's gastric surgery. Next story. I had a friend die in her 20s He's after bariatric surgery. Every time it's suggested I tell people that and they try it still try to spin it. Oh, that doesn't happen normally. I have been anti doesn't say what but anti weight loss surgery, I guess for decades now. And these slides are just more proof. Yeah, then it's like kind of like, what wouldn't be me and I, you know, how are a lot of the times we all think I'll be fine. You know, won't happen to me. Okay, next, thank you for telling the stories and shining light on this butchery. I have no lived experience of surgery. But I do live in a body that is bigger than what so called medical science says it should be. And I know why my body is this way. And I know why people resort to taking a step like permanent surgical procedures. They are at the mercy of diet, culture and doctors. I feel so angry about the revered doctors in our society. What are the wise ones who respectfully guide where where are the wise ones who respectively guide and empower empower you to finding yourself? They are not doctors. I feel endless grief for the people who have allowed the surgeries to be done to them in good faith, trusting their so called caregivers in their infinite wisdom and then discovering it was all just guesswork and sleight of hand. Nature finds a way trust in that trust yourself, inform yourself, put yourself on a pedestal instead of medical experts. Read everything be informed trust your intuition, I wish endless strength and resilience of those who are struggling to come to terms with who they are. Knowing that surgery surgery will never make everything. Okay. Next story. I relate to all of this. I'm eight years post our NY are and why is another type of gastric surgery. I don't recommend it to anyone. Next story. I wish I hadn't thought I was a ticking time bomb. I wouldn't have done it. And now left with even stronger depression reflux, chronic diarrhea, low blood pressure that causes seizures dot dot dot. Yeah, I think that ticking time bomb thing is, is really powerful. Because it doesn't matter if you are healthy. Because is it's a moot point to people, right? Because they will always say, Well, you might be okay now. But we all know that fat people lalalalala. And I think even if you were 7080 90, you'd still have that, well, we'll wait, it doesn't matter that you're okay now. And so there's no end to ticking time bomb. Because we're all gonna die. And so and there's nothing there's nothing to prove wrong about, you know, in regards to you can't say I'm never gonna die. So you're wrong, because you, you know, you will die and, and we can't say what our health outcomes are going to be. And so the ticking time bomb is such a, quote, great way for fat haters to get into the minds of a fat folks. Because what are you going to say to that? And what we say to it, you know, like it's kind of like a rhetorical question. But what you know, what we say to it is, is let's look at the evidence. Let's look at what we do know about fat people, let's look at what we do know about what affects the health of fat people. And what perhaps the effects are felt healthier, fat people is shame, oppression, which is what's happening when someone's saying you're a ticking time bomb. Poor health care due to either not going to the doctor because you know, you're just gonna be told to lose weight or going to the doctor and just being told to lose weight, which is so many fat people's experience. And so poor health care, and weight cycling and weight cycling is dieting, losing weight, weight coming back on through no fault of your own losing weight when it comes back on. And then if we also look at, you know, how long do fat people live, I'm looking at studies that show that actually fat people live longer than people who are, quote unquote, average weight, normal weight in big quotes.

Unknown Speaker 49:45

And that having weight on your body, especially as an older person, is is really helpful and you know, like so. But the time bomb thing is just so it's like a zinger, right it's is so powerful that it's something that everyone is worried about, you know, like when am I going to die? Oh, am I doing something that is there something that I'm doing that will cause my death early? Can I do something about it? So yeah, watch out for that one watch out for that one. All right, next story I had the gastric band put in in 2009. Last week I had it removed due to the complex due to complications and just having had enough of having pain while eating. The surgeon who took it out offered to do a bypass and like quickly and firmly said no thanks. He offered because I'm not at a weight society deems acceptable. I had also just told him I'm trying to heal my eating disorder can you imagine going back to the surgeon and being like take this out and just being so mad at you know me for projecting my own feelings of being some I get this fucking thing out of me. And they're like, Do you want another job? Do you want a different one hug cut your head off this time? How about that? Oh, yeah, no. Yeah, next, thank you for voicing this weight loss surgery is the most violent, violent form of fat stigma, and is worse than the most horrid violent interventions we have done in history to quote help people in things like mental health. This needs to be get get banned world wide. I'm so glad I came across this. I'm actually on the schedule for weight loss surgery and I'm having serious doubts about going through it. It's so hard to live in a fat body and this is science in this society. Yes. Oh my goodness, hearing stories of people who are saying I'm looking more into into this now that I've heard you. And I've heard these stories is just I'm so pleased that they're getting more information. So finally, we've got a bariatric surgeon who very proudly messaged me sent me a DM. Jess underscore Platts p l a Zed J E S S underscore P L. A Zed, who said to me came into my DMs and said, as a bariatric surgeon, I can say that the number of number of successful patients is far greater than few and far between. And I don't know why. But I responded to her. Because I was like, I was mad. Okay, I was mad. Alright, so this is what I said. How can you say that when there are no long term studies? Literally, how can you say that? How many years after surgery? Do you talk to your patients? Yes, you may see people up to a couple of years post surgery. And the fact that you're a thin person means that when they report to you, it may be inaccurate due to your own fat phobia. You are literally killing fat people and proper profiting off of it. She responds so you know more about being fat because you're fat. So she uses the words so you know more about being Oh word because you are Oh word then use a study and practice. Got it? I feel so angry now. Just reliving it. I responded Get the fuck out of my inbox with your disgusting views. And the thing is, yes. Was Yeah, I've been a fat person. What am I 37 years now? Did you do 37 years of study? No. She responds. So no medical research on your part. I respond. This is so not like me responding. Because I just, I just normally block, block and get on with my day. So interesting how this is my response. So interesting how you didn't answer my question about your own follow up with your own patients. How many years after Do you speak to your patients? Listen to fat people, when we are telling you that you are harming us. She responds, disgusting views. You know nothing about me or my views. You're you're saying that bariatric surgery is unsafe and barbaric? And I say it is barbaric. Still didn't answer my question

Unknown Speaker 54:42

you want but you want. I say I'm making spelling mistakes here. So I'm like, oh my God even read my own message because I was I was so so mad but you go home smug thinking about thinking you're helping the out of Control fatties. And so she responded. So a patient came in today saying I saved their life. One year ago, she was lying. And I respond one year ago. And she says, There is no point in arguing this you are not a medical expert no matter how much you think you are just because your own word. And I respond, we all know that up to five years is a honeymoon period. So unless you have data, then you can go away and stop being a giant piece of shit

Unknown Speaker 55:38

so, and she keeps saying that she's she's got a medical, she's got a medical practice. And and I say, hiding behind a medical degree is peak white supremacy. Also funny how you still didn't answer my questions. And I blocked her. So I mean, she could have very easily said, yeah, actually, you know what we've got, we've done a study with my own patients and seven, eight years post surgery. This is what we see. She can't say that though, because she's got a one anecdotal, someone came in to see me and someone said after a year that I'd saved her life. Uh, yeah, one person and you're a bariatric surgeon. Listen, I wanted to share that just this has made me look great because I was like, fuck off basically. But I'm so I was so mad that this person would come into my DMs and say this shit and and afterwards, I was like, listen, Vinnie, you could have gone about that better. You could have tried to educate her, and done better to get her on site. Because tomorrow, this week, next week, she's going to get be in contact with a fat patient, and she's going to harm that fat patient. Is she more likely to harm them? If she knows that there's someone out there who is angry about her existence and thinks what she does is immoral? I think that's probably would cause more harm to that fat patient. Or maybe not maybe because the fat patient is happy to be there. And she might think, Oh, here's a good fatty versus Oh, that one was a bad fatty. So anyway, I'm you know, I'm thinking about it and thinking, Oh, my should have done better there. And I should have just either just not responded, or whatever. But also, it felt good to tell her that she is an immoral piece of shit. So, and she's probably never had that she's probably Jess Platts has probably had people being like, Oh, you were so good saving the fatties and her thinking that like, I'm so good like these out of control factories, I go in, I saved them from their greedy nurse. And she thinks she's, you know, so. So it's probably strange for her to have someone say that. That she has got she's not doing the Lord's work is what she probably thinks she is, right. But also, I don't know, I'm gonna have some, okay, I'm gonna turn this around, I'm gonna have some compassion for myself because I left this conversation and I blocked her and I was just like, so angry and so upset me upset me. And so because I'm a human with the human brain, sometimes I'm going to tell people to fuck off. And that's okay. And next time, I'm just going to go by what I always go by because my VA is the one who goes through my inbox. But this just popped up after reading all of these messages from people saying, it's ruined my life and then you have this smug bariatric surgeon who's like, oh, you know, yeah, so Anyway, anyway, I'm gonna go back to and not reading my DMs because this is sometimes what happens most of the time I get nice messages. So the ones that I see anyway, because my VA very kindly goes through them for me. Thank you, Mari, you were the best. Okay, so I'm going to leave it there today. Thank you for hanging out and go do some self care for yourself because this stuff is fun. And feel free to send this episode to anyone who's thinking about So, bariatric surgery, maybe send to the part one. And then then there's another one that I did previously to that episode 50 which is a good kind of look at all of the stats of does weight loss surgery to make you thin and healthy and basically, the answer is probably not a surprise, surprise. We don't have information and also they stop they stop tracking people at like three to five years and that's when shit starts hitting the fan. So yeah. Alright, thanks for hanging out and we'll see you in the next episode. Stay fierce fatty and I'll see you in a while

Unknown Speaker 1:00:41

alligator thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fierce fatty Academy, which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic believes and learn to love your fat body, then go to first party.com forward slash waitlist again that is first party.com forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens.