Episode 36 Transcript

You're listening to the Fierce Fatty Podcast and in this episode, we're talking about dealing with weight gain during the pandemic, Episode 36. I'm your host, Victoria Welsby. Let's do it.

I'm Vinny Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author, and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fierce fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. Society teaches us living with a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money, and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the Fierce Fatty Podcast Let's begin.

Unknown Speaker 1:27

Hello, hello. Hello, fatty How you doing? Thanks for hanging out with me today I separation agents. Before we get into today's episode, I wanted to make a correction or note on the episode that I did three episodes ago on fat phobia and racism. So I recorded the last two episodes before I did the episode on fat phobia and racism. Because you know, I record in advance or whatever, anyway, but it was important to get that that fat phobia and racism one out. And there's something that I wanted to clarify notice something and I was like, Oh, shit. In that episode, I mentioned how historically fat bodies were never idolized. And I think that I didn't mention I'm pretty sure. I didn't mention that. What I was talking about was in the West in Western culture. And the reason why I didn't mention that is because of my own white supremacy. And I didn't think to mention that I was referencing the West because of my default racist worldview, right? Like, I'm just I know, talking about history and being like, well, you know, families whenever idolized. And just presuming, you know, obviously, everyone knows I'm talking about the West. You know, I don't know if I thought that in my head. But anyway, I should have said that. And as well. Western culture is a problematic word anyway, but I was referencing the West, how in the West fat bodies have never been idolized. If you want to learn more about whether it was ever okay to be fat, there is an awesome webinar from NASA and A F A National Association for fat acceptance. Anyway, never a great US based not for profits. Who? Yeah, advanced fat acceptance. Anyway, so Dina Tamland did a webinar re recording on was it ever okay to be fat? So interesting. I'm going to link to it in the show notes. And you can you can have a look at that and she starts with you know, the fact that she's going to be talking about the West and looking at the evidence without history of the way that fat bodies have been represented or rather not or if they are represented there, you know, as a point of ridicule or whatever. And so one thing as well about that is the Venus of Willendorf, so if you don't know what the Venus of Willendorf is, or some people call it I think the lady of Willendorf because it's debatable whether it's a Venus or not anyway. Okay, too technical into it. Anyway, it's So, if you like Well, what about the Venus of Willendorf? Yes, absolutely. So the Venus of Willendorf is one of the oldest figurines ever found is around 26 to 30,000 years old. Yes, amazing. But Western civilization wasn't around then. So we can't claim that Venus our beloved Venus of Willendorf is is from Western culture because it Western culture is not that old. And also, we don't really know what that statue Venus of Willendorf is actually depicting. No one left any notes very rude. So some people believe it to be a fertility sculpture. And some people believe it's a self portrait rate. Also something to note is other figurines from later time periods have been found, but still decades, 1000s years old, and they're not clearly fat. So it wasn't that, you know, we found loads of sculptures from 30,000 years ago is and they're all like, fat women, and it's amazing. It's not as clear, right.

Unknown Speaker 6:22

So other figurines are not clearly fat. But I personally like to interpret the Venus of Willendorf as worshipping a fat body, as do a lot of fat positive people, right? I actually have a Venus of Willendorf necklace. And I studied illustration at university. And so I'm really interested in the history of art. And, you know, a lot of times we can't understand what our meant, because it's really hard to know what was going on in the culture and what exactly happened right then and this is just one thing. And who knows what all of the other things at that time was was depicting, we don't know. Anyway, so I just find it I find it really interesting. And I have decided personally, that it is a celebration of fat bodies. And it could be right. We just don't know. We don't know. So so yeah. So I just wanted to make a note on that. That, yeah, my white supremacist worldviews and default racist, well viewed view made me not clearly state in that podcast that I was talking about Western culture. But yeah, if you wanted to learn more about that, go check out that that webinar. It's about 45 minutes long, I think really, it's so interesting, the sound is not very good, but what can you do? Yeah, and you can find as well other things on nafas YouTube page, which you might like. So, um, okay. So what we are talking about Zhu Li is juicy, shoots, some, some lots of small arts and juicy shit. So the, the pandemic is not over. But we're kind of coming out of it. And a lot of people have been like, I've I know, I've gained weight during the pandemic. And so what we're talking about in today's episode is how we've been affected by the pandemic. In regards to all of the messaging around it, about how oh my god fat body, oh, you're gonna die. The complex realities that many folks have to deal with how to cope if you are eating more food than normal, what to do, if you put on weight and why engaging in exercise at home may be harmful for you. So lots of important stuff that we're talking about. Now, weight gain during quarantine home, I have gone through, a lot of people have been dealing with this and having a lot of feelings around this, which is totally normal. So we've now been in quarantine for what, three, four months, and people's bodies have changed. And it's something that a lot of people are struggling with. And your body changing. That could happen anytime, right? But we're kind of dealing with this as a collective, the world as a collective are, are dealing with this right. And collectively, we're dealing with fat phobia, and internalized fat phobia. And it's really a unique time in the world. And so going into the pandemic we lived in diet culture, right? We lived in a world that is steeped in fat phobia and the world had and has the belief that getting fat or fatter is one of the worst things that you can do as a human right. And as COVID The Coronavirus emerged. We started seeing a lot of news reports and false news reports that fat people were at the higher risk are at a higher risk. And news, in case you haven't you didn't know this. There still hasn't been any actual evidence to show that fat people are at a higher risk for from Coronavirus. Not no evidence has come out to support this idea. And actually the evidence is that has come out. Some of it has shown that fat people are at a moderately better chance against COVID than people who are straight sized.

Unknown Speaker 11:13

So it's just presumed that fat bodies are unhealthy and at a higher risk, right. And so those falsehoods are continually parroted without proper scientific evidence or studies. Just the other day like yesterday, I overheard a news report and they were saying Oh, like risk factors or if you're old and then oh, yeah, if you have quote unquote, obesity, and I was like offer Fuck sake, do some research. Like it's not based in fact, right. So that's another thing that that we are dealing with is hearing this from the media, like if you're fat, you're going to spontaneously combust and, you know, don't get, make sure that you lose weight. So you don't get Coronavirus and bullshit like that. So we, you know, during lockdown, depending on where you are in the world, everyone is different, right? Some people, a lot of people, most people lost control over so many things in their lives. So work, perhaps you're working from home, perhaps you lost your job, your social life, you're not obviously not hanging out with your friends, maybe you were doing it and are doing it online? Maybe not. Maybe you're living with your family, and oh my god, that can be really difficult, right? Maybe you're not, maybe you're alone and you're isolated. And so a lot of people, the things that they have done to feel in control in life have been taken away, right. And so what a big way that we as a society try to maintain control, a false sense of control, is through trying to manipulate our body size. And so what are you going to do if you're stuck at home, and you're worried about you know, you've got all these messages saying, if you're fat, you're gonna die. And in any way fat is bad. Even if we're not in a pandemic, according to society, you've lost control of everything. So what are you going to do, you're going to try and control your body weight a lot of people are and you know, we've seen this this increase in the hilarious COVID 15 memes and jokes about how oh my god, I don't want to get fat during the pandemic. And a lot of people have this fear of, yeah, oh my god, what if I do get fat? And that is super influential to our mental health and not in a good way, right? Another factor to think about is people panic buying food. And so what effect does that have on you? I know that when I went to the store, there were lots of times when I went and food was sold out and multiple items that I wanted to buy, were gone. And honestly, it was, it was triggering for me. It reminded me of as a kid being in poverty and not having access to food and feeling afraid that I wouldn't ever get food and and reminded me of being in diet land where I would deprive myself of food. And so going into the store, seeing food being sold out and just a fear that what's going What happened to the food? Is everything going to stop? Is there not going to be any food? That's another factor that we have to consider, and how that affects our mental health and how we relate to our fat bodies. So our normal ways of coping, were likely taken away or disrupted during this time, right? And even if they weren't, there is still this massive uncertainty about what's going to happen with the world. Like, are we all gonna die are the people that I love gonna die. And so even if you have all of your normal coping strategies and mechanisms in place, there's still this big looming stress and fear that you're having to cope with. And most people, a lot of their normal coping strategies have been disrupted, disrupted, or taken away completely. So that causes a massive amount of stress. And so what do you do? You're at home, and you want to get some normality and, and relief from that stress and some sense of joy and happiness.

Unknown Speaker 16:18

And something that brings us comfort, and joy is food right? Which is beautiful. And a lot of people very guiltily started using food to help regulate their emotions. And I say very guiltily, because most people think that that is a bad thing. When I'm gonna explain to you, it's so fucking isn't a bad thing. So a lot of us have this feeling of we shouldn't use food, to help with our emotions, we should feel our emotions and do the work and work it out. And well, let me ask you this. How many times in your life? Have you been in a global pandemic? How many times in your life? Have you thought legitimately the world might end? And people that you love could die? And you could die? How many times have you lost your job or been unsure of your income? Now that might have happened before? The how else were you? Are you meant to cope? What is the alternative here versus using food as to bring you joy? Like what's the alternative? Right? How were you able to get any tiny little bit of happiness into your day? When you're facing all of that you're facing you were you still are facing a global pandemic? And you're beating yourself up? Because you might have eaten a little bit more food than normal? No, no, I'm not having it. I'm not having it. So you use you've survived so far, you've survived a global pandemic, and you had to eat a little more food, or maybe a lot more food to keep your mental health more stable. That's the reality. You ate more food during a global pandemic to count help keep your mental health more stable. Oh my god, you're a monster. I can't believe that you did that. I can't believe you survived a global pandemic. And to do it, you ate some more food? Oh, the horror. Oh my god, what type of person are you? Obviously, if you can't tell that's being that sarcasm. So imagine if anyone else came to you and said their whole life had been turned upside down. And they feared that they would die and people that they love would die. And they were cut off from their normal self care and then they felt guilty and embarrassed that they ate more food than normal and put on weight. What would you say to that person? You be like, Bitch eat all the food and eat their food. Gaining weight doesn't matter. You're alive. You're surviving. You're doing what you can do. Like really? I have so I have a goals board for my my business. And I have different business goals. But the number four number four goal that I have on my goals board for my business is survive global Pandemic Legion. I legit that is a goal of mine to survive the gold global pandemic. And on days where I'm not feeling as positive. I look at that. And I ask, like, am I achieving this goal today? Am I surviving? And if I feel guilty that I need to have a nap because my brain is exhausted. I look at that. And I say, Am I hitting that goal of surviving? Fuck yeah, I am crushing dolls left, right and center. I'm surviving. And really, that's an incredible thing right now. And when I say that, I want to remind you of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Now, you might not be familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, but what it is you've probably seen it, it's like a triangle pyramid thing. And it's all about what human beings need in order to survive and to thrive. Okay, and so at the bottom, let me just bring up

Unknown Speaker 21:08

my picture. Here. So there's different levels, right. So at the bottom, we need to get our physiological needs met, okay. And so physiological needs air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, reproduction. Okay. The next level is safety needs. So that's personal security, employment, resources, health, and property. So somewhere to live. Once you've got those two down, then you can move on to the next one, which is love and belonging. So that's friendship, intimacy, family, and a sense of connection. Once you've got that one down, you can go to esteem esteem is respect, self esteem, status, recognition, strength and freedom. And once you've got that one down, you can then move on to the top of the of the triangle, which is self actualization. So that is the desire to become the most the one can be. Okay, so they are the stages in Maslow's hierarchy of needs and what we need as a human being. So right now, we're on the bottom levels of that, okay, we are trying to get our physiological needs met, and we're trying to get our safety needs met. So bottom line is physiological, air, water, food, shelter, sleep, clothing, reproduction. The next one, safety needs, personal security, employment, resources, health and property. So this is what I mean. So many people don't have personal security. They're not safe, right? They don't have a job. They don't have income, they lost their job because of the pandemic. Their health is in jeopardy. Right? Especially if you're living in a country like the USA where health care is totally and 100% Absolutely fucked up. Like, imagine if you're, you know, you're worried about if you do get Coronavirus, and then you have to go to hospital are you then going to be left with millions of dollars in debt? Because you had to have your life saved? And as well, okay, so property, do you have enough money to pay your rent? Or are you in jeopardy of not being able to pay your rent? Okay, so why I'm reminding you of that is that collectively, a lot of people are really struggling, we're really struggling. And knowing that you still want to beat yourself up because you ate some food. You're eating more food than normal to cope. And you want to shame yourself because you feel bad because your body weight changed. Like you're struggling to survive like, no, no, stop that now. That is not your shame to hold. Okay, it's not yours to hold. You have to be proud of yourself that you are here right now seriously, like, How many times have you gone through a global pandemic? How many times like probably zero, right? Right. So, if you have put on weight, if you have put on weight, don't panic, okay. It's normal to feel uncomfortable with it. And the reason why it's normal to feel uncomfortable with it is because of your internalized fat phobia, or your fat phobia due to the fact that we live in a fat phobic world Old and a world that is focused on dieting and becoming thin no matter what. Of course, you're going to have negative feelings when any, if you put weight on, like, unless you've already done this work, really done this work, then you're gonna have really negative feelings. And if you are still struggling with fat phobic thoughts and beliefs, then you need to get a system in place where you can overcome that.

Unknown Speaker 25:38

And my thought is having these these fat phobic thoughts right now like, Oh, my God, I've put on weight, oh, my God, what if I do put on weight right now is actually really helpful. And the reason why it's helpful is because it shows us where we still need to do work. And it shows us what we need to work on. And so, you know, of course, these emotions are unwanted, but it's actually quite helpful. So that, if we're in this situation, again, or if you know, if you're a human being in you have a body, chances are, your weight will fluctuate. And so if you've weighed on again, you'll be able to cope with it better if you get a system in place that helps you cope and deal with those limiting negative beliefs that that you might have around having a fat body. So the truth is, it's not really that big a deal to put on weight. Really, it's not that big a deal. It might feel like it like the the world is going to end and everyone's gonna be like, Oh, my God, look at the state have you What have you been doing when you've been at home, I can't believe it, you know, disgusting or whatever. Really, it's not that big of a deal. Our weight fluctuates in our lives due to different circumstances, right? Many different circumstances. And we have a setpoint weight that all of us our bodies like to be at, it's about a 15 to 20 pound range. And generally speaking, if you're at in this, in this range, your body's happy, if you go out of that range, it's 1520 pound range, then your body does things to try and get you back. Because that's just where your body's happiest, right? And so, we don't know what's going to happen in the future. If you're, if your body's going to say, Okay, this is, you know, higher than what I'm used to or lower than what I'm used to, or whatever and do some course correction, we don't know. But saying that, hoping that you're going to lose weight is not really helpful either. Or actively going on a diet, like I've said many times. As we know, diets don't work for the majority of people, and they can damage your physical and mental health and studies show. More often than not, if you go on a diet, you're actually going to end up with a higher weight. Not that being high weight is bad. But if you think that going on diet is gonna make you thin, then you've been sold a lie. I'm sorry to break it to you. So we all have seasons in our lives, where things are different, right? Our current season is pandemic season. So perhaps our mental health isn't as good as it normally is, perhaps not. And perhaps we don't engage in the wild like we normally do and do all the fun things we used to. And then there's also times where it's a different season where we are going to be more happy. And we're going to be more active and we're going to be filled with much more joy and be able to self care in lots of different ways. This too shall pass isn't one of my favorite phrases. This too shall pass and nothing lasts forever. Right? Like it might feel like we're going to be in this forever but

Unknown Speaker 29:28

we're not. Okay. And something else is if you're putting yourself through some brutal workout regime, then this is me giving you permission to stop if you're doing it because you are punishing your bad body because you put on way or punishing your body because you ate a Twinkie or whenever. This is me giving you permission to stop. Of course if you like doing whatever exercise you're doing if you like it Do it like if you know comes from a good place, do it, how fun Knock yourself out, whatever. But if you're doing it because you're terrified of becoming fat, then consider making changes. Because when you move your body, you're you exercise with the motivation being fear, or shame. Studies have shown that, that behavior, the behavior of doing the exercise, whatever it is you're doing, is not sustainable. Meaning that. So if you're engaging, safe, you're like, oh, I need to go on a 10k run every day or whatever, you're doing that because you're terrified becoming fat, then that is not something you're going to be able to keep doing, because shame is not a good motivator. And so you're going to stop, you're going to stop doing it. And then what story you're going to tell yourself, you're going to tell yourself that you're lazy, that you're a quitter, that you're just such a bad person. Whereas if you're moving your body just for fun, just because you like it, just because it makes you happy. You're way more likely to keep doing it. Right. And so if you're if you're engaging in exercise, because you're you're in the pandemic, and you're like, Oh my God, I know, I want to get fat. Look at that and see, you know, am I doing it because it's fun, or am I doing it because I'm terrified of being fat. Okay, so. And another thing is, I wanted to say is if you're stressing about fi feeling the need to buy certain foods, or eat certain foods, like if you have a desire to eat more or different types of foods, I want you to lean into that. So if possible, buy yourself as much food as you can. Of course, not everyone is in the financial situation to be able to do that. But if you can buy stuff that you are desiring right now. Because if you don't, that's where things begin to get diety and Shamy and potentially disordered because that is diet type behavior. Denying yourself what your body is asking for and what your body needs. Even if you've decided, actually, no, you don't need this thing that I've decided is unhealthy. I'm going to override you and say, I know you're only allowed to salad right now. It's you're engaging in dieting type behaviors, right? And seriously, give yourself some goddamn credit. You're alive. And you're super smart brain and body has done everything it can to keep you alive. And that's incredible. So what if you, you know, the, the outcome is that you've put on a little bit of weigh. I know some people would rather be dead than fat, but hopefully you're not one of them. Right? Because it's okay, to put on weight. It's okay to eat more food than normal. It's okay to have a nap. It's okay to feel like all you can do is watch Netflix. That's all okay, you're doing the best you can. Right? We're in a really weird time. It's a global pandemic. Stop being so hard on yourself. Okay, so thank you so much for hanging out with me today. It's been so much fun. As always, I hope you enjoyed this episode, go to the show notes. For all of the links, links, links links first fatty.com forward slash 036 Because it's episode 36. And in there, I'm going to put something extra special for you. I have made a brand new present for you. I've got a present for you. Oh my god. It's called the fierce fatty body love roadmap. It's so fucking good. Obviously, I'm biased. It looks so pretty. It's it's got such great information in it. And so what the first fatty body love roadmap is what it will give you is going to give you the three easy steps to follow so that you can increase your body confidence. You're also going to discover the the three massive mistakes people make and how you can avoid them on your journey to loving your fat body. And also, by signing up you're gonna get body love trainings sent to your inbox and as well. Reminder, calm Join us over in the Facebook group first fatti friends, you know the one that I kept secret from you for? I didn't want you to know. That's not true. I just didn't think detail. Yeah, because I thought you could read my mind. Why can't you read my mind? Read my mind? Yeah, so come and join us. If you just you know, you can just type first party friends into the Facebook's and it will come up or go to the show notes. First party.com forward slash 036 For link. And yeah, you'll find it and come say hello and tell us who you are what you want to get out of the group and all that type of jazz. Yeah, so thank you. It's been amazing hanging out with you, as always, and I will see you in a while alligator. check you later. Crocodile. Yes. All right. Goodbye.