Episode 115 Transcript

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Welcome to the Fierce Fatty Podcast. I'm your host, Victoria Welsby and this is episode 115. Today, we're talking about tv shows and movies that messed with our body image.

I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fifth party who loves every inch of this jelly. society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the first fatty podcast Let's begin.

Hello, welcome to this episode of fears are farty the Podcast. Today we've got another episode of death to diets with summer Internen my power my gal pow. And we're talking about the naught naughties. The 90s and noughties TV show bullshit that really fucked us up. And I know the list of shows is endless. Yeah, so we're also talking about if there are any shows are actually good. Count them on. Count them on the list of like one fingers, one hands. And hilason Lauren, who is a listener of the show, hi, Lauren. Really enjoyed my American accent from last week. And I told her actually I have a nother American accent that I am excellent at and so I thought I'd give it to show you my second American accent if that's okay. Apologies. Apologies. For ologies I'm going to read the synopsis of the show in my other American accent which is a family girl. So our oh my god, The Biggest Loser friends and Bridget Jones have a lot to answer for what this is no, Veronica. This is nobody go have a laptop as a fall when it comes to body it. Hang on. This is the same fucking accent I did last week. Oh my god.

Today Sommer and I are talking about shows and movies that did a number on our self esteem. Turning into the accent again. Have things got better? Oh my god, or is it the same old BS? And And were there any good shows from monopolies that help with body image? Oh my god. Okay, so that wasn't really Valley go. I tried. Do I have a career in voice acting? Do I I don't think that resembled any living Americans accent or dead Americans accent. But there you have it. There you have it. Now you know my many talents. And we can now get on with the show the good stuff, which is summer and ice. And let's get into it. I'm excited. For this

4:03

one. We are talking about the TV shows and movies that messed up our body image as well as our audience's body image. Before we start death to diets is a show that we created where we look at the ridiculousness of diet culture and beauty standards and just kind of more topical things that have happened in the world of dieting or body image or any of the kind of work that we do. And yeah, we unpack it here. We ridicule it. We give people advice and we do not judge or blame anyone that engages in diets more we critique and reflect on the culture of dieting and The issues around that. Do you want to introduce yourself?

5:04

I am Vinny wells b V dub Alicia's super sexy person, and I am a fat activist, non binary, fat, amazing human being. And I teach about unlearning fatphobia.

5:23

I'm a professionally trained life coach. I specialize in body image, self worth and confidence. And I also host a podcast called Eat the rules. And yeah, we're buddies, right? We're, we're friends, we are friends.

5:39

I made the biggest mistake of my life before coming on here today as in trail mix. And now I've got trail mix in my mouth in me, one of the worst. So if you see me like this going, my fingers in my mouth and you know why?

5:59

You're not eating it while we're trying to record that, would you imagine?

6:07

So I love the fact that you said, Oh, it's topical. We do topical stuff. Because there's so many of these things on my island. I remember like, I need to talk to someone about Yeah, for sure. But I'm seeing there's a show I'm watching right now. Right now is we're streaming. I'm watching a show no, right now, in evening, and it's getting on my tits. And I was like, Oh, well, somebody can tell me I can talk to someone about it.

6:31

Yeah, so I got some of those to

6:33

go go on set. Sorry. I'm interrupting you know, I

6:36

interrupted you.

6:40

I was gonna say so one of the big things that the shows that shows on movies that foot your body image. Yeah. So

6:49

you know, I was really reflecting on this. Because I saw that I this was like a couple months ago, and I saw a rerun of friends. And I was like, oh my god, like this show. Totally warped my body image. Did you watch Friends?

7:07

I loved friends. I remember. It'd be showing on Channel Four. No. So trying to follow Yeah, channel four 9pm Friday night watched it religiously?

7:17

Yeah, like I have I got the same tattoo that Rachel got. That's how obsessed with it. I was what is that? What is the tattoo? It's like a little heart on my lower back. Isn't what I read on it? Yeah. You superfan? Can I please disclose that I was 16 years old when I did that. So like, not very. My frontal lobe hadn't fully developed.

7:54

Why? How do you explain the that back tattoo you got a couple of weeks ago of Monaco space.

8:05

No. closeted fan? Um, yeah. So you watch the show. This was the time and this was some of the feedback we got from the audience, right, like that shows kind of in like the late 90s, like, early 2000s. That was when like, quote, unquote, you know, actresses were like competing to sort of be the fitness like, it was sort of this new ideal that came out, like we had gone from, you know, women having like, just like, they were still really thin, but to like, extreme stenness. And when I went back, when I saw this rerun, I was like, Oh, my God, like, they're so thin. And I'm not thin shaming at all. But I but it was more just a reflection of like, wow, this really, like I can see how this warped my own perception of my body. And then I think you're probably familiar with the character of fat Monica, you remember that character?

9:00

Yep. Like,

9:03

horrible, horrible character that pretty much was, you know, the walking stereotype of everything that you would associate with, like, you know, like, with fatness in a very negative way, like what our culture has sort of made us believe. And then, you know, like the newer thin Monica being the one who like everybody likes and she's attractive and all this other stuff and just really feeding into this, you know, this belief that you have to be thinner in order to be you know, in order to be worthy. What were your thoughts? Like, what what what were your thoughts on that when you were in like, you must have been because you're younger than me, you would have been even younger sort of taking.

9:51

So I I remember that. She had a completely different personality. Yeah, like, I just remember her being like We can be like, oh, you know, I'm so disgusting and horrible. And you know, yeah, yes. A nerd and like Nabil is, you know, yeah. And a part of me was like, Okay, well I'm really shy. And so when I grow up and become thin, then I'll be kind of like Monica I'll be like confident and fabulous. And you know, date Chandler, Bing, and all that type of stuff. Because that's what happens when you lose weight is you get a new personality and you become confident, which obviously, yeah, don't. But yeah, and you know, that that hope that I you know, I was still young, like I was probably 1413 and being like, Okay, well, that was Monika when she was young. And so I've got a limited time until I better become thin. Because it was obviously a terrible thing that maybe you might be able to get away with if you're younger, but certainly not if you're an adult. Wow. Wow.

11:04

And like, Did you remember that? Like, was that something that kind of stuck with you? Or have you forgotten about that? No, I've totally remember

11:10

that. And, because that's the scene where she stabbed Chandler's foot. She dropped a knife on Shannon's foot and he lost a toe right? Like, I just remember it so badly. And and how shameful it was that she had this secret past of being fat, like fat was this like, like her past of being a serial killer? You know that she had to hide get away and don't talk about when I was fat? Mollica because it was so embarrassing. Yeah, such cheap humor

11:39

to like, it's not even. Like it's so. Yeah, just low bruh whole and like, yeah, yeah, no, maybe it's not even humor really, but

11:51

like, friends was, Oh, my goodness. I was. I felt like this about sex in the city. This so diverse because they have like a dark hair. One. They have a stupid word. The funny one. They've got all of the characters of humanity. They're like,

12:10

yeah, it's all and

12:16

no matter. Also, like with the fatphobia, but it was also problematic in a gajillion different ways. One thing that really stands out for me was transphobia. Chandler's dad was trans or maybe became maybe a drag queen. No, some sort of exploration of gender there. And it was like this hilarious punchline to make fun of the dead.

12:36

I don't remember that part of it. Wow. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I mean, and like who who can afford to live in New York in that size of an apartment in New York as well? Just as a side brachialis thing? Like millions and millions of dollars

12:55

an apartment that size now in Vancouver would be like,

13:00

God so much bigger than my house. Yeah. Yeah. And then do you want to do one of your shows? Or do you want me to keep doing deals? Okay, so the other one that I wanted to talk about, which is interesting, because other people in the audience said this one too. Is America's Next Top Model. Did you watch that one?

13:19

Another one that I fucking love. Yeah, I was always working those smiles is you remember the smile. The smile? Yeah, the smile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but I love that. Tell me tell me why that fuck with you?

13:36

Well, for one, I mean, like, you know, the again it's like, like extreme thinness like extreme sadness. But do you remember Do you remember what they always had a token plus size model? Do you remember what size the token plus size model was?

13:52

Oh shit. I don't even I don't even remember that being one like because I really like but they must have been Max a size 10 Size eight really fucking fat basically very small, very small.

14:12

So I remember thinking like in my own you know, distorted mind that like, oh my God being a size eight is plus size. Like, you know what I mean? Like, first of all, like that's, that's a terrible thought just anyways, and and so but in my in like, when I was when I was young and still buying into this notion that you know, like, thinner is better like I just, I remember that. And I remember thinking like, well, it can't be like a size. I think I was like I was a size eight at the time. But it's just like, I mean, it was just so distorted like that, that you know, like the obvious like lack of any sort of diversity that like the plus size models and size eight is just like the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. And of course, if you're staring at like, stick than people for, you know, an hour or hour At the time, because you're watching all these shows, like back to back. Yeah, like it's gonna warp your perception of your own body and like what you associate like how you perceive yourself. And

15:11

yeah, oh my god. Yeah, I can't remember like the plus size models, it must have been, like, next seasons or whatever, maybe, maybe I didn't watch enough, but I'm so glad that didn't stick in my mind. Because size eight, I haven't been size eight since I was eight years old, probably like, so even if they're a plus size that size, I would have just like shit in my trousers. The only good thing I remember about Nick ATM was the height requirement was five, seven, and I'm five, seven. And I was like, Ah, I could be a model when I lose weight. So when I get older, you know, because I'm going to be clean when I'm older. At least I'm tall enough to be a model, because I'm definitely going to get on to ATM and Pa model. But the as well alongside the just stereotypical beauty ideals was the amount of inappropriate stuff that they did. Do you remember the episode where they put people in blackface?

16:15

No, oh my gosh, no.

16:19

Yeah, they did, like a culture swap quotes is what they, they they did it and they put white models in blackface, too, and then took pictures. And no one. No, no one said maybe we shouldn't. And there was another one where a girl had a family member had just died like the day before. And then the next shoot was in coffins in the ground. And the girl was like, I'm feeling really sensitive. Because you know, my mom just died and then like, it was not Miss J It was the other one you're the one with the silver hair was like Pete You better get in there if you don't want to fail being a model and she had to do it and she'd had to do the shoot sobbing and it was just like, and I remember being at the time Yeah, bitch get in that fucking coffin. If you you know, the moving world is harsh like this, you know, you just got to do it. And you know, I didn't battle if any of this stuff and yeah, I was there judging them. Their bodies. Like the judges were you know, I thought I was a Miss J being like, Oh, look at her walk. It's so terrible when you know, I couldn't I couldn't do a fucking what modern walk. Anyway, so true.

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Yeah, it really taught you how to kind of critique like, critique other people to like, because it is all about kind of picking them apart and compartmentalizing them. And yeah, and I and you saying that now like really makes me realize, like, that was part of the entertainment value of it was like, you're part of like, the judgment of these other people. And like, it's, it's like, that's so messed up. Because it's, I mean, really, that's just like internalized misogyny at its finest, right? Like, kind of teaching you to just like objectify another individual and, and break them down and like, think like, oh, they're not good at like, oh, like, no, they don't look good in that picture. Or their arm looks funny or whatever. You know what I mean?

18:12

Yeah, yeah. And he's just so hyper focused on on looks. Yeah. Focused on books. And

18:19

I have a funny side story. When I was 12. I went to a modeling camp. Next up model tell me everything. They told me I was too fat. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You wanna talk about things that messed with? I remember that. Yeah, exactly. And I had this like, really, really fucking feisty, best friend at the time. Yeah. And she like we got into a lot of trouble together. She was the one that kind of led me down a bit of like, behavior that was probably not appropriate for my age. She She actually went to this place like without me knowing or anything like that. And she just walked in there and fucking wring them out. And wow, you people are like

19:13

Oh, my goodness. So hard. How fucked up that used to say to a 12 year old I mean,

19:19

I know. I know. They said they were like, look you up and down was like, too fat. Yeah, basically, like, you couldn't like you went to this camps. You paid money for this camp. And they taught you like how to walk and like how to do I forget makeup? Like, is really disturbing when I reflect on it. Please don't see this as like a fault against my mother. I have no idea. Like, maybe I asked to go there. I don't know. Um, but definitely like do not send your daughters to modeling. And then so you pay money to go to this.

And then they have like an audition. And so then I went to this audition and they told me I was And here's the thing, like, at the time, like I, like I was not what you would consider fat like I like I had, I have, like I pretty much had the exact same body that I have now like, really? Like, it's like, if you look at pictures of me then it's like pretty much not that different. And so like definitely, you know, some curves more mid size but not like like, and not that there's anything wrong with being fat, but to call me that. And it's Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, it's just like, like, and obviously they use it in a derogatory way and not in like a positive way. Like, you can't be part of this. But yeah, I just wanted to throw

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that in remember that? I never knew that about you some. Well, next time we hang out. You're gonna teach me your model, obviously.

20:52

Oh, yeah, you just watch me. You just walk.

20:56

Like let's go get some lunch somewhere that I see you walking down the street. Who is she? Look at that wall. Just days. I'm sat in that walk

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with like mud stains on my jacket and like my mom fanny pack.

21:10

Fabulous.

21:14

Okay, why don't we do some of your shows? Because? Yes, yes. Yes. What were some of the wasn't messed you up? Oh,

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the biggest one, the biggest one, which is what a lot of our audience said is the biggest loser. Yeah, is just a whole heap of fucked up. Fucked up pneus to the extreme. Oh, my goodness. And I loved it. Did you used to watch that show? Oh, yes.

21:41

Yes. Yes. I mean, I love I pretty much watched every reality TV show in the early 2000s. But yeah, I mean, I loved it. It was I loved

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it. It was not, you know, it just felt like these bad fat people had finally got their shit together, had got onto that TV show, and we're making their life good. And so I could imagine, you know, what my life was gonna be like, once I did that made the same sacrifices that they were making. And then the good the ugly when someone didn't lose weight. And then they were making excuses. And I say excuse me with the quotation marks of but you know, I did the workout I did the I did the I ate no food, and I still put on weight.

And then, you know, the voiceovers of the other contestants being like, well, the numbers don't add up and then and then me being like, the numbers don't add up. If you really worked hard, you would have lost weight and that kind of Glee and judgment and then they get booted off and just being like look at them they're so pathetic they they were so close to achieving this incredible thing, but they were just so greedy and and what they made the contestants do was was so I don't know if the show is dead on but so dehumanizing. absolutely appalling. not healthy, not safe. Extreme, just got degrading, awful, hate it worse, uptime. Loved it.

23:09

And I remember you know, I remember seeing I think this is one thing's kind of like, like, started to crumble for that show. Because I remember seeing the finale when there was some woman like, and they did the reveal in the finale. They hadn't seen her for a couple months. And she was like, like, really? Skeletal basically. Yes. And I remember like they the trainer's face actually, like their jaw just dropped and like you could see like them even being like, holy shit. Like, what just happened? Like, this is too much, right? But then they won the show, and they had to celebrate it. And I think that's when maybe things took a bit of a turn for that show. Because it was like, it brought a lot of attention on the fact that this was really harmful. But, but I I don't think they I don't think it's on anymore. But Jillian Michaels was is isn't was the worst. Like, just like still

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still. She had she hasn't learned like you would think from that moment. Because I remember that because they you know, everyone comes out and has a reveal. Oh, look at them. They're thin now. And then all the trainers are like, oh, yeah, amazing. And then when there's this other contestant I remember. And they were kind of like, oh shit, we fucked up here. But they're still doing it. Right. They didn't learn Oh, you know, actually inducing eating disorders for entertainment and, you know, physically hurting fat people for entertainment. Ain't a good look. I mean, because Julia Michaels and the other guy Bob Harper, they're still doing that shit and you know, and Bob Harper having a heart attack, you remember in the last few years, and no no consideration there either to be like No actually, you know, I'm quote unquote healthy but I still had a heart attack. Should I maybe consider what is healthy like nothing like that? They haven't learned, you know?

25:04

No, no, I Yeah. And I was gonna say like, the whole the this idea that like, like fat people need to be saved by like these thin tree like, did you feel that way? Like I just Yeah, I feel like that fed into this idea where people like even now are kind of like concern trolls where they're like whoa, like, what about people's health and it's like, you know, it's not your business but I feel like that fed into this whole like idea that like we have to save these people.

25:40

Yeah because if it wasn't for those kind hearted trainers, then those poor fat people would just be sitting on the sofa eating quote unquote bad food and dying. But thank God that these kind hearted thin people came along to save the fatties and you know, the when when they would do like the the before and after footage of you know, at their home life and the before of them being a human and just going about life. But you know, the way that they framed it was just like, this sad sack piece of shit greedy person. And then when they would be talking to camera like, oh my god, this is the most incredible opportunity of my life and oh, whoa, did you ever read? I did the The Biggest Loser book, The Secret Expo from Oh, what was her name? Chi hai.

26:37

Okay. Ah, no, I didn't I remember. Like, knowing about it. And I. But I but yeah, and but I've seen I actually, you know, I had someone on the podcast recently who was talking about the study that they studied them, the people and the biggest loser and how their metabolisms like, never returned to what they were before. That extreme behavior. And yeah, like, yeah, you sort of wonder like, what's happened to all of these people? Who were like, really just like dehumanized for entertainment. Yeah.

27:14

Yeah, that was that's a great that was from Newton New York Times that wrote that piece about basically, as well. The feeling of the deep feeling of shame that the people who haven't unlearned fat phobia and diet culture of, I had this great opportunity and I had lost weight. And now look at me, I'm fat again, because of my greed versus because my body is doing wonderful things to keep me awake that I'm happiest that and my metabolism fucked. And so I just went, Ah, if anyone is has been on a weight loss show or anything like that all Well, anyone who's been on a diet, then, you know, feeling that shame. I totally give him a big hug and be like, it's not your fault. Your body is doing what it wants to do.

27:55

Yes, yes, yes, yes. Yes. Yeah. Cuz there's, there's a lot of feelings of failure and just like something's wrong with me. Why can't I figure this out? And it's not it's not it's not your fault. Gosh. Oh, the worst. What else? What other shows

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when my favorite movie for a long time was shallow? How did you see that

28:17

one? No. Okay, so I was aware of it, but I never saw it.

28:21

I thought it was fucking amazing. I was just like, Oh, finally, a film about a fat person with power throw in a fat suit. Okay, yeah, that was awful. And so Jack Black, who Jack Black is is a raging fat phobe as well unfortunately, even though he's been positioned as someone who's fat positive. He's there's no evidence to really presume that but anyway, he's like, meant to be an unattractive person. But he has like, really high standards and only dates thin people or beautiful people. And then he has some sort of episode or comment when we met Meet Tony Robbins in an elevator and Tony Robbins puts like a spell on him to be able to see the inner beauty of people and then he suddenly all the fat people are really beautiful and all thin people are really ugly, which I mean that's fucking problematic. Anyway.

29:20

This is about oh my god.

29:22

I'm so he meets Gwyneth Paltrow who looks like Gwyneth Paltrow. But in reality, she's a super sized fat woman in a reality, no fat suit. And she's really shocked that someone like Jack Black would be interested in her. And his friend is like, Oh, she's so mean. She's so disgusting. How would you date her? And at the end, nothing. Nothing is learned. It's just Oh, how how does a fat person who has wear big underwear? I'm like I did and ever since it's always been in my mind, about a partner holding up the size of my underwear because there's a scene in the thing being like, oh my god, your underwear so big it scarred me. The other time I thought it was hilarious and great and innovative.

30:10

So you did like it like you. And you were all like, Okay. Testing.

30:15

Oh my god, check black. He just loves anyone no matter what their size, even though the whole premise was that he wouldn't have liked her if he knew that she was fat.

30:25

Master.

30:29

Oh my goodness. Yeah. That was fun. That was fun. That was fun. Um, so did you have any shows that have had a good impact on body image for you?

30:43

Uh, yeah. I mean, I don't think there's any, you know, prior to like, three or four years ago. I think I mean, I think the best one that we've seen recently which everyone sort of echoed when we asked them is shrill right that Yeah. And so that obviously like just is a great show because it's about at Brian just like obviously it's the story of Lindy West, but just living her life like it's not about her body size. Like there's some threads of that in the plot because of it mimics Lindy stir. I mean, have you seen it? Yeah. It's great. It's hilarious. Right? Right. Yeah,

31:23

I watched finished. I'm finished watching season three, just a week ago. I think that was out. And I was just I was just, I just, I just love this so much. Yeah, yeah. And just, you know, scenes of her having sex. I'm just like, Fuck, yeah. And it's just, it's just to normalize fat people being seen as sexy and attractive and successful and, and complicated and imperfect. And all of these different things. Because, you know, fat people are normally the funny fat one, or the loser fat one, or, you know, very 2d characters, but it's just really beautiful to see.

32:03

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think, you know, like, another show that I've liked recently is the sex lives of college girls,

32:10

did you watch that? scene that,

32:13

I mean, it doesn't like it doesn't have like, a ton of body diversity. But it just it has, like, you know, people who are more like, a little more normal, like it has more diversity, just in general in terms of in terms of, you know, abilities and races and, you know, and gender and things like that, and so, and a little bit with body size as well, but it's just more about their lives. Like it's not about like how they look and and it's it's a Mindy Kaling show it's really good. It's Yeah, honey.

32:50

The number six thing sex education. Have you seen that

32:53

one? I love that I was gonna say that one I love that show that shows so great. And I get flicked again, probably too many people but like, it's a great show.

33:01

Yeah, that's the thing is a lot of times when they have diverse bodies, like in Have you seen euphoria?

33:08

No,

33:09

I haven't watched it. Okay, so it's really good. I love it. They've got Barbie Ferreira. I think that's her last name is a plus size model in it and she seems like she plays a plus size because she really she's she's in real in real life. She's pretty mid size. I don't think she is fat she's probably a size 1416 That type of thing. She is absolute She's She's a model right? So she's a model and so she we have this representation of diversity and all that and and euphoria we've got an amazing trans actor in there as well and great diversity but all of these people are literally models and so you know where they have a fat person but it's a fat person in the right way and and in sex education we have a couple of fat people but you know, I want to see ugly you know, I want to see people who just look a bit weird or people who who are not models basically because it's

34:17

like the right kind of have like fat body like they still they still have Yeah, you know, like the more like our glass sort of shape I believe, like is that is that kind of Yeah, exactly. Yeah, yeah. And so like actually seeing like, you know, people who represent what normal people look like, I feel so great because I feel like it does actually have like, you know, really good

34:45

at Brian is still pretty modelesque right? She's pretty beautiful. But you know what I want to see, I want to see thin people with saggy tits. I want to say show you mine. You want I feel like I want to see, I mean, who is walking around with, like, you know, the type of tests that we see in shows, like 2% of the population, right? I want to see tests that fall into people's armpits on a young person, because I know that's what my tics did when I was young. And I didn't see any of that, right. I only saw like, Oh, if you're a young person, you take to the ceiling, and you know, and I want to see fat people with saggy tits. I want to see fat people with big hanging bellies, and flat bums and disabled fat people and trans fat people and all other like, I just want I'm just so greedy and want it all summer. Give it to me all that place. Now.

35:45

I know. It's pretty sad that we can only think of a handful of shows. I know isn't like I was thinking about that. And I'm like everybody said, shrill. I was like, I was hoping there might be some other ones. Oh, yeah.

35:57

Well, I had. I had a couple of ones from from the poll that I did. I had trill was my number one. And then I had Cagney and Lacey. Did you ever watch that? No, it's two. I have never seen it because two women cops fighting sexism as they were doing their detective work. And then we had Roseanne. Now, I was wrote down a little bit, but that representation of fatness always terrified me, because Roseanne was quite a, from what I remember strong character. Like she was a no bossy or something. And I remember being like, Oh, if I'm, if I'm older and fat, then I'll have to be like Roseanne and no man will ever want to be with with a strong woman, you know? So but someone said that that was good for them. Oprah

36:47

which, okay, yeah. Listen me.

36:52

I mean, didn't Oprah bring out the barrels of fat?

36:55

I mean, she was always talking about her diet. And I suppose if I suppose if you take away some of the content that she presented then like,

37:02

yeah, yeah. Yeah. And then we have shrill. Oh, yeah. I said. He said, sure. Yeah.

37:08

I've mentioned a lot. We

37:12

show on in the UK, and in Europe, it was called Euro trash. Did you ever see that?

37:18

Ah, no, but it totally sounds like something I would have watched.

37:21

It was just the weirdest fucking thing it'd be on at like midnight, and you'd be like on Friday night or something, and you'd secretly have it on quiet, and then quickly turn it off if your parents came in, because it was basically I don't know, some, I don't know where it was from Germany, or, or some, some East some Eastern European accented host, who was like a little bit creepy and a little bit suave. And they would have these really diverse kind of sex stories. And so they would, they'd have like, porn stars, and people making art out of their pubes and people shitting on each other, and like weird stuff, and also diverse stuff and normative stuff, too. But yeah, you'd watch that and be like, secretly turned on watching, you know, some stupid fucking story about you know, people going camping naked. But it kind of show real bodies. And so that was that was that was that was the only thing from when I was young. So

38:23

I honestly can't think of anything. And it was interesting, like when we asked people because I think we both found feedback that everyone was like, basically anything in the 90s and just awful. Yeah. And and then like a couple others that people mentioned that were that were problematic, but I totally remember, like Bridget Jones's Diary. Like I just, I remember like, Yeah, I mean, it was like a great movie. But then this focus on like, her weight and the fact that she, like, I remember she had a game. Wait for the role. Oh, hey, yeah, she had a game like 20 pounds or something for the role? Well, she's

39:00

she's used to that trick now. Because in her new movie, she's she's wearing Well, she's wearing a fat suit now and her new movie. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I can't carry on. Oh,

39:12

but yeah, but it was like the like she wrote like her weight in her diary. Like, I don't know if you read the book, but I've no, I watched the films I Yeah. And so it was it was all about like, like, what the weight was and like, she hated it and then trying to lose, like, like, that was just like this kind of undercurrent of the entire plotline. Yes, it

39:31

was just so useless and fat. And really, she was very, very straight sized. Like,

39:38

yeah, yeah. Like I remember at the time, like, I think I was the same size as her and I was like, Oh, my God, like there's something wrong. Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, so just like, no wonder so many people of that generation of body dysmorphia? I think that's like, a real

39:57

good, yeah, just all of the media is just just you know from that time, but even saying that the thing that I was really watching recently that I wanted to mention was and you you meant you were thinking about this too. All the new dating shows that we have nowadays is all like fucking bikinis on the beach, like models on the beach trying to learn how to date too hot to handle and even even the most cutting edge One Love is blind. Have you seen Love is blind? No. The premise is, will you be able to fall in love with someone without even seeing them? And Will you still love them after seeing them because they could be unattractive? Of course, every single motherfucker on the show is a model.

And so you know, they fall in love the doors open? Oh, look at that, oh, two models, we can find each other attractive. You know, sometimes there might be a bit of conflict because it's like, oh, actually, his hair is a different shade of brown that I like I like more of a mousy Brown and his is a bit darker. So we have to call the wedding off. But they've done one season and now season two is out. And I think they have tried to include a little bit more oomph, more diversity. And so they had a couple of fat people who didn't make any airtime. No airtime at all. But two of the people that are really so no spoilers if you haven't seen it, by the way, to the people that are focused on two female characters. Both of them are former fatties. And so there's a fucking violent out being like, Oh, I used to be fat. And it's such a shame. Very fat Monica vibes. And so they're like, Oh, will you still love me? Because I used to be fat. And now I'm thin and a model. Will he still love me? Because of my dark past of being fat. And I was just like, burn fucking who you are so normatively attractive, and you used to weigh a little bit more not even like fat fat? Yeah, yeah. Midsize fat. Yeah, because one of them was describing our weight. And I was like, Bitch, I'm like, 30 pounds heavier than that probably like, and she's like, Oh, when I was so unattractive, you know, obviously, they don't use those words when I was so well, they pretty much do

42:16

it loaded.

42:18

And I'm just like, really get out of that tiny little fucking violin because you are a model bitch, shut up, get in some real love is blind, proper people, you know, like, people who are struggling with dating because everyone rejects them, you know, and actually make it good. And so the shallow people when the doors open and they see a fat person has to say, I don't actually want to marry you because you're fat. And then then that then that will be have a conversation to have. But right now he's just models dating each other doesn't stop me watching it, though, doesn't stop me changing it. Because I like it.

42:53

I know. I know. I know. I never watched those shows. But I actually I ended up watching Bachelor in Paradise, the Canadian. Because the it doesn't matter why I stumbled upon it. And then I was like, Oh, I'm not tuning out like this. I'm completely sucked in and invested in the rest of this series. But I hadn't watched it. I hadn't watched shows like that. And like, in quite a long time. And I and I and I was just like, wow, like they just really cast like these people that I think they are models, I think most of them are just models, and that's where that's where they're casting them from. But one thing I really noticed was that the majority of these people are kind of they're in their 20s they have Botox, and like, lip fillers, like you can tell it's really obvious. And I'm like, what, like, that wasn't a thing. Like when I was that age, like that wasn't, that was never a thing. And so now what I noticed was just how the bar is set even higher. Like when I was that age, it was like you had to have fake boobs. You know, it's kind of like the standard be really thin and have fake boobs, which like not neither of those I used to duct tape my boobs together to try to make them bigger, and then put in these like, chicken collars that were literally the size of chicken breasts.

And so, anyways, but now it's like, you know, there's like another level, it's like, okay, no, no, they have to have, you know, they have to have Botox and, and like, you know, pillars and, and and like, I'm not criticizing people who do that at all or judging but it just to me was more like a reflection of a culture where you like sometimes I like to hope that things are sort of starting to shift and we sort of see that with certain TV shows. But then you see shit like that and you're like God, like no like the bar just keeps getting higher you know, like it just keeps getting like more procedures more like manipulating your body like molding into something. It's not like that's, that's just more and more of the standard and it's really a shame to see.

44:58

That is so true. Yeah. Because I remember yeah, getting getting breast augmentation was the thing when we were younger and then having straight hair using GHDs Did you ever get GHDs and Canada?

45:11

Isn't that like a dry?

45:13

Oh GH video thinking oh

45:17

what's GHD is

45:19

good hair days what it stands for, but it was like these straighteners and they actually work they go winter really highly and for the first time people like me who had like really fit frizzy hair could straighten their hair and finally be attractive and it was like the attractive light with quotation marks. And it was like the, you know, the highlight of my life discovering GHDs and everyone had them everyone still does have them probably. But yeah, we didn't have things like lip fillers and Botox and therefore be around but it wasn't really part of the conversation then,

45:52

though. Yeah, definitely not. So yeah, but I know we have to wrap it up here we could go on and on. There's probably some shows that we could talk about.

46:01

So where can people find you somehow

46:05

people can find me at the body image coach comm that will redirect you to my website and I have a free 10 Day body confidence makeover on there as well. You can find my podcast eat the rules.

46:16

Amazing. And you can find me at first fatty.com My podcast his podcast is fierce bounty. And you can find lots of freebies and amazing shit like pictures of me on my website and come and hang out with me on Instagram at face dot fatty.

46:35

Amazing. Well hopefully everyone now understands why. Body image laugh about some of these things and let it go. But yeah, that was it. That was a good one. Thanks. Yeah, we'll see you next time. See you in a while

46:55

alligator. Thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fears fattier Academy which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic beliefs and learn to love your fat body, then go to first party.com forward slash waitlist again, that is phase fatty.com. Forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens