Episode 127 Transcript

You're listening to The Fierce Fatty Podcast. I'm your host Vinny Welsby, episode 127 "Funny ways I used to try and disguise my factors". Let's do it.

I'm Vinny Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author, and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fierce fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. Society teaches us living with a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money, and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the Fierce Fatty Podcast Let's begin.

Hey, guess what it hits? How I or if you don't have a ticket? sace what he

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nipples Oh, and if you do it was a sweaty just a sweaty? If you're not have sweat glands Hey, not sweating.

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When I get when how's life? Sorry, you were you were missing an episode last week.

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I've been super duper busy with consulting stuff.

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Can tell consulting with companies and individuals and dieticians and it's all good. But you don't want to just too busy to do a podcast episode, which is not like me.

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Noticing, like who's listening anyway, so

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it doesn't want anyone notice? And I thought you know? Yeah, I think someone will notice and be like, Oh, I thought that was an episode today. Where is it? I don't know. I get like that sometimes with my podcasts if they don't if they don't release an episode, but it takes me maybe like two or three weeks before they realize I haven't released that episode. And then we're like, where the fuck? Maybe I should do that. Just to just to? I don't know, give myself a break. Because maybe it's okay, if I don't do an episode every week? I don't know.

Unknown Speaker 2:37

Yeah. And people do listen to the show. I keep going out with my mom. That lesson is not even my mom because she doesn't listen to podcasts. But people do listen to the show.

Unknown Speaker 2:46

So, welcome to this episode. Hey, I thought of something. And thanks to one of the listeners who emailed me and said that they had listened to I guess it was the last last episode about weight loss surgery stories, part two. And they said, Oh, if you ever going to do a part three, I've got a story. And I thought, You know what, anytime I anytime I share anything about

Unknown Speaker 3:17

bariatric surgery, there's always so many stories, and they deserve to be heard. And a lot of times people have never had a place to share the stories. And so what I've done is I've created a Google form, the link will be in the show notes, the show notes are at face value.com forward slash, one to seven, forward slash one to seven, forget that forward slash podcast.

Unknown Speaker 3:46

And there's a link there for you too. If you want to if you've had stomach amputation surgery, bariatric surgery, quote, weight loss surgery, if you're thinking about having it, if a loved one had it, and you have a story to tell, then go fill out this survey. I mean, it's like you know, this kind of like standards like

Unknown Speaker 4:14

Where where are you? What's your name and things like that? And then I thought, You know what, it'd be really good if we get a lot of responses to have kind of like data of

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Where Did you have surgery? What type of surgery? How old were you when you had the surgery? What was your life before and after? What made you have the surgery? Did you lose weight? How long did you lose weight for did you gain weight?

Unknown Speaker 4:39

So all of the questions are apart from one or two. You can choose to answer them basically your name, you can choose to be anonymous. And do you agree for the information to be shared on the podcast or whatever, or some other way that I might share it

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And you can choose just to share your story just so that I read it, or you can choose to share your story so others can read it.

Unknown Speaker 5:09

Whatever you want, whenever you want. Because you know what this is making me think there's not a lot of, you know, I'm not a scientist, I'm not a sociologist. I have a degree in illustration. So totally unrelated to this stuff. But I think this

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collecting stories is, apart from that one

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study that I share, as you know, literally, it was just collecting stories, and it was kind of like a limited number of people because it's hard, right? If you don't, if you don't have a social media presence like I do, it's hard to collect people, like, if you were just to go out on the street and be like, Hey, who's had surgery, this surgery? Not a lot of people are gonna say, but because I have a lot of people in my audience who might have, then it's easier for me to collect this evidence. And who knows, you know, maybe no one will, maybe no one will respond to this survey, because people are like, I'm bored of it that I want to share my story. Or maybe you do.

Unknown Speaker 6:13

And minimum, I'll maybe make another episode like part three. Or I was thinking maybe I can make it into like a big blog post or a book or something. It needs to be where we can get people the stories, right, because we've already got a few hours of stories. And, you know, because the more information out there, that is not pro bariatric surgery, I think it's going to balance it out a little bit. It'd be like a drop in the ocean, but you never know. It might be a good resource to share.

Unknown Speaker 6:53

Yes. Okay. Sure. Sure. So the link for that is in my show notes, pHYs valley.com, forward slash, one, two silver, go for the out. If you've had surgery, somebody knows how to surgery and you've got something to say about it. As in my, someone had it and they died or whatever.

Unknown Speaker 7:16

Or if you're thinking about it,

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because I think that'd be useful to be useful to.

Unknown Speaker 7:25

Yeah, okay. So I've been thinking about this recently, ways, I used to just dry and disguise my fat nurse I had, I've spoken about it before, like 100 episodes ago, briefly. And it's been, I've been thinking about it recently. And it's kind of, you know, with love and compassion towards my previous video, you would do these things and some of the things that were really funny and, and the reason but you know, I'm like laughing about it. But obviously, the reasons behind why I would try to disguise my fatness in the past was because of the heartbreaking reality of living in a fat body in this society. I just had a swig of my tea. Don't you hate it when

Unknown Speaker 8:11

you have made a beautiful cup of tea, and you're like, Oh, I'm gonna fucking drink this shit out of it. And then you forget about it when you go and sip it and it's cold, I suppose just happened to me. Although I knew that this this was cold because I made it like two hours ago.

Unknown Speaker 8:27

Anyway.

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So being young and super insecure and being fat, I used to think that I could disguise the fact that I was fat with visual illusions, trickery of the eyes and magic techniques. But

Unknown Speaker 8:51

I wasn't fooling anyone. I don't think maybe I don't know, maybe, maybe people saw me do the things that I was going to tell you that I did. And, and they were like, Whoa, what happened to them? They used to be so fat. Now. They're really

Unknown Speaker 9:11

high, maybe you maybe did a little bit and maybe it felt me to help me help help me feel better, which, you know, if it helped me feel better than good for good for me for coming up with a solution so that I could live life and

Unknown Speaker 9:26

sometimes, you know, this is kind of like when you're younger, some of the things that you think

Unknown Speaker 9:34

are just just silly, right? Like I was reading this meme of someone saying, what's the silliest thing that you used to believe as a child? And they said, I used to believe that anytime I turned the radio on, whoever was singing the song was singing it live in the radio studio. And it's like, you have one of those things. Yeah. And I think this kind of falls into my bit younger self

Unknown Speaker 10:00

Not quite, you know, buying into beliefs that weren't I don't know, based in reality and it's kind of like have you ever seen if you're if you're not British you might not know this reference but Darren brown brown on Channel Four who was uh, I don't know if you call him or if he calls himself like an illusionist or he doesn't call himself a magician. He says like, this is like I'm, I'm, you know, this is like, I'm tricking you in some way. I'm influencing you in some way.

Unknown Speaker 10:31

He must be around still wonder if he's done any good shows recently. British people are probably like, oh, it turned out that he was an abuser or something because he you know,

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some of these he's called a mentalist and illusionist, painter and author.

Unknown Speaker 10:46

He started with his television debut, Darren brown mind control in 2000. Yeah, he was good.

Unknown Speaker 10:55

Doesn't look like he's turned out to be a creep. But he probably is. Who knows? Anyway.

Unknown Speaker 11:02

He would like trick people and,

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you know, get things like oh, influence people to do things that they would never normally do. Like, there was one episode where it was like, he convinced people to rob a

Unknown Speaker 11:18

truck that had money. And he did like loads of stuff to kind of get them. They didn't know that they were going to do it. They were just walking down the street, a truck stopped in front of them. And they just robbed it. And then afterwards, he was like, Why did you do that? And they were like, I don't know.

Unknown Speaker 11:35

Yeah, so a mentalist? an illusionist is what I was, what I was aiming for, by doing this stuff. So first thing that I used to do was, and I wonder how much of this stuff is you've done as well, some of this stuff is a bit weird. So I doubt that anyone else did it. But some of them stuff is pretty I think other people might have. And the first thing I would do is I would buy clothes, in sizes that were too small, even though they were like really, really tight on me, just in case, the label was to stick out of the back, you know, and someone would see it and see the label that says medium. And be like, oh my god Vinnies. So teeny, tiny, a medium, I thought that they were fat as fog. Turns out, they're wearing a medium. And you know, it'd be like a medium that I would have stretched to

Unknown Speaker 12:38

I would sit in whatever top that I had bought that I bought deliberately too small, and sit for hours with two pillows, stuffed up the top to try and stretch it. So that it would not be cutting my body in half by how tight it was. But for hours walking around with to pillows

Unknown Speaker 13:05

in in for the off chance that someone might see the label. And do you remember, I don't know you might you still even might even be there of the label being such a powerful thing of What if someone sees my label and sees the size and I haven't thought about a label apart from today, in so long. And the only reason I thought about a label because I'm my underwear is quite small today. And there was a label for my trousers scratching my skin and I thought about the label. But I haven't thought about people seeing the size label on my clothes in a long time. But that used to be a big part of my life was clothing labels. And I'm so glad that you know because then if I did buy clothes that fit then you've bet your fucking now so I'm going to cut that label out because I don't want the anyone seeing I'm wearing you know, a 3x or whatever, when when I was younger. I'd be cutting that out and like burning it. No evidence of the fact that I'm fat.

Unknown Speaker 14:04

But you know people have eyeballs and they could they could tell but yeah, that would be very, very kind of, yeah, get that get that label out. And now I'm so pleased. I don't know why because sometimes you wear something and you're like oh this is great. I really like it. And you look at the label and you're like oh where was it from? What size was it I don't know what size I am at this store because I cut the label out. Now I never have that. There it is right there label just hanging around. And I don't care if it sticks out.

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I used to always when I was a teenager

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I thought that having big feet would balance my body out in some ways and I already have big feet. So I have UK size eight US size 10 And they're very wide. So rollerskating I'm going

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rollerskating tonight I wear a size 12. So 10 Men's. That's how wide my feet are. And so I was like, whew, glad that I've got big feet, it's going to balance out my fatness. And so I would then go to I remember buying a pair of Reebok classics, two sizes too big. And proudly wearing them around school lower flopping around like clown shoes, thinking that people would be like, Oh my God, look at this illusion. Oh my god, they used to be so fat. Now look at the size of their shoes. They are a double zero.

Unknown Speaker 15:44

Who knows? Maybe that did happen? I think more likely is that people will probably like what the fuck are you wearing your brother's trainers.

Unknown Speaker 15:55

But that was only when I was a teenager because when I got a little bit older, so maybe like 20 years old, I decided that big feet were not actually a good idea.

Unknown Speaker 16:06

Because big feet meant that I had a big body. So I wanted to have small feet. So I would do the opposite. I would be buying shoes that was smaller, to try and you know, cram my feet in. So that when men looked at my feet, they'd be like, oh, so petite and dainty. Look at you. If your feet are small, you can't possibly fat be fat. Wow.

Unknown Speaker 16:35

Wow, look at them.

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My My Lord, the amount of times my feet have been in pain. I mean, how would they know? What

Unknown Speaker 16:51

you know what it is, is because you know, if you go into someone's house and you take your shoes off at the door, sometimes a shoe size is in the bottom thing. Some if someone saw that it was a size eight in the UK size 10 In the US, I would have been like, oh god mortified. And it's like all of these things on the off chance i Who's inspecting shoe sizes of their guests who have taking their shoes off at the door.

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I know in my world in my world when I was young, I would you know just on the off chance. I will then be in terrible pain wearing the smaller shoes.

Unknown Speaker 17:28

Very logical.

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I would eat with a teaspoon instead of a normal sized spoon so that the food that I was eating would look smaller. And it would look like I was not eating a lot because I was taking teeny tiny bites because I'm so delicate and I'm not fat at all and I don't eat food. So everything would be small spoon.

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Everything.

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God's spaghetti bolognese, teaspoon.

Unknown Speaker 18:04

Okay, no soup teaspoon. My goodness. Now, now I eat with a fucking ladle. The serving spoon. Oh, oh, that'd be good idea. I don't I just eat with a normal sized spoon. But that would be pretty good, wouldn't it? It would be like,

Unknown Speaker 18:21

have you seen that meme where it's someone's in the gym. And they've they've taken they've got a Hershey's chocolate sauce bottle that they put water in and they're drinking out of it and it looks really funny. Like that go into like a restaurant and bringing out your own like ladle or something especially if it was like an all you can eat place. That would be pretty funny, wouldn't it?

Unknown Speaker 18:43

And of course, I would do all the normal visual trickery, like not wearing stripes or wearing stuff that would cover my bum or you know, wearing black and all that type of stuff. Because you know, that's just you know, the standard obviously, it's just so funny. Like, I just think about it, you know, these rules that we have of don't wear horizontal stripes because then it's going to make you look a bigger

Unknown Speaker 19:14

unlike really really is it really really, really how I really read I don't look at people wearing I don't you doesn't even register in my mind. Maybe it doesn't other people's I don't know of like, oh, there's a person wearing horizontal stripes. Oh God now they look for at like, or, oh, there's someone who's not wearing black and they're fat. Oh God. Now I recognize that they're fat I was before if they were black clothes. I would have thought that they were thin. Like

Unknown Speaker 19:50

I don't know and and of course it's about like not drawing attention to yourself and all that type of stuff. But I don't these stupid rules, these silly rules that you know

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I guess some stylist made up in the 70s or whatever, you know, like don't wear tweed with with with this material and don't do that and wear your cufflinks like that. And all you know, it's just it feels very arbitrary, right? Because it's just made up. I don't think it's true. I don't think it's true. Is it true? I don't think it's true.

Unknown Speaker 20:23

And of course, I would squeeze my body into Spanx and Bice banks that were not the wrong size. Do you do have you done this? Do you do this? Don't buy Spanx that would fit and not kill you. Although it's probably still very squeezing but I would buy Spanx it was so

Unknown Speaker 20:42

ah, so small I can I literally have memories of how tight they would be on my ribcage until I pulled them up over and so that they sat under my boobs and then and then that was it. Like, that's, that's your that's your breathing done for the day, when you ain't gonna be breathing anymore. Never mind moving or eating or drinking. Because they were so tight. They had become basically sucked into your stomach wall lining. That's how small they were.

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And

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yeah, I just I, I think about this, you know? Why is it? Why is it when we look out fat bodies who have Spanx on or whatever, controlling underwear. And their fat is,

Unknown Speaker 21:34

is still there. But it's, it's, it's moved and sculpted. In a certain way. Why is that? Better than just

Unknown Speaker 21:47

no Spanx and just the body just being there? You know, it's like what why would people like what just is it just looks better? But God does it? Does it? I don't know. I think that that's that's another kind of made up thing social construct. Why is it that the big tits like you wouldn't think generally speaking, and this isn't for everyone with tits. But generally speaking, you wouldn't be like, I need to smooth out my tits to make them look less round and tit like, would you generally speaking obviously, there's lots of people who would be like, Yes, I do need to, you know, for various different reasons. But, you know, society doesn't say that. That's what I'm saying. Society doesn't say, Oh, God, you know, you haven't shaped that those unsightly round tits. And then why some why, you know, because

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patriarchy has said tits. Yeah, that sexy. We've decided the sexy move. Four inches around to your back, back rolls blue. No, gross. Oh, how can you go out with backroads?

Unknown Speaker 23:04

Shall we should cleavage? Yes. Please wear a backless dress. Oh, gross.

Unknown Speaker 23:11

And it's like, a few inches away. And it's still the human body. Like it doesn't. It doesn't make make it make sense. It doesn't make sense. It's just so made up. So why is it like, you know, a roll would look better if it was transformed into more of a sausage shape versus a croissant? undulating shape? Why is it that we want to see like I think about in nature, like a concrete slab versus a beautiful hill, or a rolling wave versus the sand and like, you know, the sand is beautiful. And the rolling wave is beautiful. And and why are we saying flat sand is is where it's at. And a rolling wave is ugly. Because it's Miller. We wouldn't think about that a lot about nature when we would just be like it's different. It's cool. We like it all, you know. So yeah, that's what I think about when I think about

Unknown Speaker 24:15

Spanx. Like

Unknown Speaker 24:18

I 1,000% get it and if it helps you feel okay to go out and fucking wear that shit. If that's okay with you do do it. Do what you want. And there's also reasons when people might be wearing shape

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underwear or whatever, whatever do you do? I'm just, it's just pure Rory also to my mind.

Unknown Speaker 24:41

of why, why?

Unknown Speaker 24:43

Why, why?

Unknown Speaker 24:46

What what you know, we know why fatphobia right.

Unknown Speaker 24:51

But it just seems so arbitrary, doesn't it? Now when you think about it, isn't it arbitrary? It's silly.

Unknown Speaker 25:00

You know, like I saw this surgery, you know, um, you know, I love watching this fucking dirty shit on on YouTube, you know, like ingrown toenails and corn removal and, you know, extracting dead spiders out of ear canals, all that type of stuff. Anyway, I saw this one where it was kind of like, surgery on someone's foot. Oh, interesting. Want to see. And I was like, Okay, what's his surgery? It was surgery to make this guy's toes.

Unknown Speaker 25:30

slightly shorter, one of one or two of them. Because apparently, they were too long. And it made them unsightly. They were not too long. I looked at his toes. And I looked at my toes. And I was like, Well, shit, my toes are the same. The same fucking thing. Hang on a minute. This is a new beauty ideal where we have to have toes that are these ones be short, these will be longer. And it has nothing to do with it when I was like in there must be a medical reason, right? Because who the fuck would have foot surgery where they are removing the length of his toe. Just for fun. He was doing it just for fun. Just because he wanted to have his toes. And it was millimeters. It wasn't like, oh, well now laksa sexy toe. It was just his toe. Like three millimeters shorter. Bizarre, like what what is going on? What is going on in the world? And so yeah, like we think about that like well, you know, you can say that silly why would why would he put himself in pain and probably cost money right? Obviously you're not going to just get that on the on the NHS you know, toe

Unknown Speaker 26:50

unless you've got them at wrong your toes anyway. And so it's just really it's just arbitrary. But then again if we lived in a world where everyone was like oh look at these sexy new toes and oh my god you know when you're talking about the dream guy that you want to day in New like tall dark and and short toes aren't really does it for me? Oh, it's fucking stubby toes. Oh, look at them toes. Oh, how big is toes girl? Oh, those shorten love it. Like if we lived in a society like that, then I would get it so you know, all this stuff. Don't feel bad. If you're doing any of this stuff. I doubt people are eating the small spoons, but you know, or wearing clown shoes. Whatever, even if you are don't feel bad for doing this stuff.

Unknown Speaker 27:36

So a big part of this stuff too was obviously about being hyper feminine. Hyper feminine. So the kind of like, if I'm feminine, that makes up for my fatness, you know, like the whole, dainty and you know fatness isn't dainty, therefore, femininity is dainty, therefore, aligned with femininity,

Unknown Speaker 28:01

and you'll appear less fat.

Unknown Speaker 28:06

And I want you to maintain his feminine image at time at all times. To Great detriment to myself a lot of times.

Unknown Speaker 28:16

Like, you know, wearing high heels

Unknown Speaker 28:21

Have you ever worn high heels? They fucking suck. Who has ever worn high heels and said this is a great experience. I mean, who are those people? What What have they done to the what is happening like because I don't think anyone has has worn high heels and being like, this is my preferred, comfortable shoe. You know, no one's walking up my mountains wearing fucking Malone Malone Malone no Blahnik below No, Manolo Manolo Manolo Blahnik or a Lubert home are they? No, because they were uncomfortable, comfortable.

Unknown Speaker 29:02

But that didn't matter to me, because, of course, I had a job and it meant that I had to wear high heels in my brain that I don't think there was any rules about wearing high heels but in my brain, you know, have to wear high heels look sexiest possible.

Unknown Speaker 29:20

And I just remember

Unknown Speaker 29:22

many times being miserable because of the pencil suit splits pencil skirt suit that I was wearing made for a tween had no stretch. My high heels, my, you know my hair that was done and I can't get it wet. And when I first came to Vancouver, I was working for a recruitment agency. I'd be going out and visiting clients all the time around the Vancouver area. I didn't have a car. I was getting on the bus. And I'd be bringing client gifts and like boxes of donuts and things like that all on the bus and a lot of these clients were in industrial parks.

Unknown Speaker 30:00

where I had to get to even three buses to get to them. And all while teetering on high heels with my pencil skirt suit, which actually did look really nice. It was really nice had like this like, frilly thing on the bottom, that flouncy thing anyway, whatever.

Unknown Speaker 30:20

And

Unknown Speaker 30:22

it would then be like if it was raining, walking in high heels, skirt, Sue

Unknown Speaker 30:29

boxer doughnuts, handbag,

Unknown Speaker 30:34

literature on the company, and an umbrella walking through industrial estates. I don't know if you've been in a lot of illustrious days, most of them don't have sidewalks because every motherfucker drives to them because who's gonna get the bus?

Unknown Speaker 30:49

Because they're so far away. Some people do. And I was one of the one of those people and they're arriving to the clients just be like,

Unknown Speaker 30:57

you know, and being drenched and freezing and soaking. And one time I remember having to like walk through mud, and get into the clients and being like, you're wet. And he's like, Oh, you must have like, got wet walking from your car. And I was like, yeah, yeah, walking from my car, not walking 15 minutes from the bus stop after getting 17 buses after carrying all of these things. And this one time having like two different client meetings and having to get lots of buses and then just being miserable it feet soaked blisters. And getting to I had to get had to get two buses to get home. And getting getting off the first the first bus to get to the second bus and the second bus was just there. And it was parked lights off. But would open the doors when people would come.

Unknown Speaker 31:47

presumed it was gonna be waiting there. So I casually strolled up to it. Maybe took 12 seconds. And the guy saw me coming, turned on the lights turned on the engine and just drove off. While I was like, Don't go, I just burst out into tears because I was just so done with it. Because then it meant I had to walk home because it's because the buses were not frequent from that area. So I had to walk, walk home. All of this shit like fucking now was awful. It was awful. Anyway, so it's like that was like a great detriment to me. I could have just put on a pair of trainers while if I didn't I don't know. I guess I couldn't have them in my hide them in my, in my handbag.

Unknown Speaker 32:31

Yeah, so

Unknown Speaker 32:34

it's like such a traumatizing story. I just remember it so clearly.

Unknown Speaker 32:39

Yeah, and I think like, you know, wanting to pay a pair small and feminine. Like I remember kissing a guy who was a couple of inches shorter than me. I don't know if you've ever done this, contorting my body to try and make me look shorter. So when he was kissing me, I'd be like

Unknown Speaker 32:55

contorting my waist so that my body would go into a shoe you know, I'd be a shorter height by three centimeters or whatever. So he'd be like, Oh my God, they're so sure therefore they're feminine. Therefore, they're not fat.

Unknown Speaker 33:10

Yes, I would also behave in ways to try and make up for my fatness. So things like

Unknown Speaker 33:17

eagerly sucking men's smelly Dix which they hadn't washed in 14 days to prove that even though I was fat, I was willing and eager. Don't mind this magma I'm gonna gobble it up Oh.

Unknown Speaker 33:35

Grows

Unknown Speaker 33:38

am of course never, ever respect expecting anything back from them. No, of course not. Don't be silly.

Unknown Speaker 33:47

And do things like not speaking up for myself or putting up with any ship friends and, and relationships and

Unknown Speaker 33:54

shit bosses? Oh, my goodness.

Unknown Speaker 33:59

And looking back now like some of those things are pretty hilarious. But at the time, I was doing my best, right? Poor Vinny.

Unknown Speaker 34:09

And the reason of course, I was engaging in that magical thinking of if I do this, and this will happen is, you know, and trying to be the next David Copperfield. hiding my fat noses because being fat was is

Unknown Speaker 34:23

very difficult and painful in this world. So if I could get a little bit of

Unknown Speaker 34:30

relief by eating with a teaspoon, and never drinking from a pint glass, because a pint glass was

Unknown Speaker 34:43

too masculine for a dainty dainty little thing like me, I'd have a cocktail or a glass of wine, even though I hate wine.

Unknown Speaker 34:52

Yeah, so

Unknown Speaker 34:55

it makes sense. It makes

Unknown Speaker 34:58

sense that we

Unknown Speaker 35:00

would do this because the world

Unknown Speaker 35:08

but the reality the reality, the reality is, of course it's okay to be fat. In fact, I think it's super cool. I think being fat is like we're in this club of really cool. counterculture people. And

Unknown Speaker 35:27

it's unique and fun and Yeah. And there's lots of fat joy and, and we don't see this right, like, obviously when we're young, we see fatness as this thing that's going to destroy our lives, it means that we're not going to never gonna have sex with anyone or be loved or, or be romanced or be happy or or any of that. Basically, we have, we've got no life ahead of us because of the fat of because of fatness. And that's because that's a message that society present it to us. But what if we had been presented with fat joy? And of course, there were probably moments where we saw fat joy, and we saw fatness as a either neutral thing or a positive thing. But you know, that was probably one out of the every every 10,000 messages that we've got that fatness was this life ending condition that we need to to

Unknown Speaker 36:31

get convinced others of our humanity.

Unknown Speaker 36:36

Yeah, so.

Unknown Speaker 36:39

So maybe now we know No, I'm 37 I, you know, I can be fat joy for other people to see younger people to see and be like, Oh, that's more fat Joy looks like maybe if I am fat, maybe I don't. I can have a life. You know, maybe I can be happy and be loved and accepted and, and, and also the world has shipped but you know, it's not because of my fatness that I'm bad, but you know, the world is the world's perception of my fatness.

Unknown Speaker 37:18

Oh, silly, silly, silly little Vinny. Another thing I used to do is do you remember when do you remember when it was like I was like a rocker when I was a kid. And I wanted you know, when it was really fashionable to have a long belt baggy jeans and a long belt. The longer the belt that's hanging out from your hoodie, the better. I couldn't find any belt to fit me nevermind a belt that had extra length. And so I would take a belt and just put it through like two loops not do it up. And so the belt was just literally hanging off a couple of loops. And then it'd be like this long belt that's just hanging down. The belt was not doing any belt duties. It was just hanging there. So people so people would think that my waist was so tiny. The longer the dangly bit of the bell, the tiny of the waist. So people would be like, Oh, tiny waist. Look at the tiny waist and how long my belt is it's touching the floor. They must be too tiny.

Unknown Speaker 38:21

Yeah. Also, because because I was poor, I made myself a belt out of a washing line. Yes, so washing line. And I put some beads on it. And it was very, very proud of it, went to the clubs, or went to the club busy with human adults and showed off my belt that I had made out of a washing line. And washing line like the line The line that you use to hang clothes.

Unknown Speaker 38:55

I remember even and I was genuinely proud of it. I remember even and it wasn't that. Oh, you know, it actually looked really good. But people were being classist. No It looked fucking like a washing line. I remember going up to some like guy that I wanted to get where the mainland 30 Like my bell and him like inspecting it being like, a washing line. And me being like, yeah, spray collars.

Unknown Speaker 39:21

And then him saying no. Beeping like what? And I doubted myself then I doubted myself and was like, oh, maybe it's not cool. And I just you know I'm changing my mind. It was cool. You were you were rocking it. You looked so amazing, Vinnie.

Unknown Speaker 39:39

God, I also had a gap hoodie, which was it was so expensive. I remember even at the time it was like 46 pound or something. My right. Like it's so expensive. I kept the price tag because I was like, I made 30 pound a week.

Unknown Speaker 40:00

Working in a bakery part time and it was a week and a half's wages to buy this gap hoodie because everyone was wearing gap hoodies and I obviously it was something that would fit me because I'm the common man sizes right and I would wear this gap hoodie and I had stickers over the gap and the stickers red greasy and proud.

Unknown Speaker 40:24

Greasy and proud. What the fuck was I thinking and this was my method to try and pull boys I like young man is just not my fucking you know statement about being greedy oh

Unknown Speaker 40:46

my goodness

Unknown Speaker 40:52

Genovese awesome teenager now with

Unknown Speaker 40:55

the gap hoodie with stickers over the gap saying greasy and you'd be like What the fuck is

Unknown Speaker 41:03

What do you mean greasy and proud and it wasn't like I was greasy? I wasn't a greasy but it wasn't that wasn't a trait of mine being greasy. But apparently I wanted to people why why I want people to think that I was greasy and proud about it. I don't know

Unknown Speaker 41:23

if you are Gracie go for it but I just white

Unknown Speaker 41:31

and change my Instagram bio to greasy

Unknown Speaker 41:37

what a ding dong

Unknown Speaker 41:41

made me greasy and proud. The washing line bell and then clown Reebok classics down at the club. Desperate to pull any boy

Unknown Speaker 41:55

every like shit pickup lines. Oh my goodness, I would I had a pair of like Toy handcuffs. And I would hang cough I remember handcuffing a boy that I made out with and was like

Unknown Speaker 42:09

to stay with me all night now.

Unknown Speaker 42:14

Like what? We're talking about creepy. Um, anyway, sending love to teenage Vinny sending love to your teenage self. Whatever you did. If you did anything silly, I'd love to hear tell me to send me an email Tell me about it.

Unknown Speaker 42:35

Give me a give me a laugh. Give me a lof and yeah, thanks for hanging out today.

Unknown Speaker 42:43

If you want to fill out the survey about the if you've had stomach surgery, go to the link in the bio one to seven fatty.com forward slash one to seven or four slash podcast and and if you're feeling like it and you enjoy the show, if you want to make a review on iTunes, not iTunes i Tunes then I will be very happy. It will make me so happy

Unknown Speaker 43:16

and it will help other people find the show.

Unknown Speaker 43:19

So that more than my mum listens to it, even though she doesn't listen to it rude.

Unknown Speaker 43:27

So see you next week in a while. Alligator stay fierce fatty. Goodbye

Unknown Speaker 43:38

thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fears fatti Academy which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic believes and learn to love your fat body. Then go to first fatty.com forward slash waitlist again that is first fatty.com forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens.