Episode 168 Transcript

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You're listening to the Fierce Fatty Podcast episode 168 We're getting plastic surgery mean I'm anti fat we got some listener questions today. Let's do it.

Speaker 1 0:26

Hello and welcome first fatties and fat allies. excited to have you here. I just had a sip of tea. And it was the most perfect sip of tea. Perfect temperature. Perfect amount of steeped. Oh, yeah, I think we're gonna have to cancel the podcast so I can just sip on this. Hey, it's magnificent. To put the let's put the lid on so we can keep the perfect temperature. I've got a yeti mug that was given to me. I never thought about anything to do with, you know, fancy mugs before. It's expensive. It's like 40 bucks. Sounds expensive to me. It is amazing. is live. Honestly, it is life changing. If you're on the wall about getting a yeti mug, I don't know if I'm new to this mug game thing. Or people are like, yeah, he's old news, or there's better ones and yet either a cheaper, whatever. But this year, he, you know, I'm telling people about it. I've had it for a few months now. And it's just perfection to the point where I don't even use any of the mugs in my house anymore. Anyway, today's episode, we've got some listener questions. We've got so many I'm gonna do a double episode. So listener question. Next week two, I sent an email out saying hey, what questions you got? And you responded, so if you're not on my email list? Oh, dang, I think we got I don't know, maybe 6000 7000 5000 A million? I don't know. 675 1000, something like that. On there. And so yeah, if you're not already an email subscriber, go to my website and just sign up for any of the freebies, and you'll become a subscriber will become a subscription. And you'll get an email every week with what the podcast is. So that's good. And you'll also get random emails like me saying, here's a picture of a dog and tell me your questions and stuff like that. So yeah, so where we're at with the cofee if you know, listening to the podcast, I've been doing like a Patreon type thing. But it's called cofee is better than Patreon. And the goal is to get to $680 hairs a month, $680 a month in order to pay for the podcast. And so that's four episodes a month, this month, the last 30 days we are at $285 hairs. So where are we? We, we I want to get to 680 and so we're episode 168 Now, so 160 for episode 106 For we're at 26 subscriptions, that's 26 people, which was 170 a month at episode 166. So two episodes later, we're at 27 subscriptions and 175 a month and now 168 We're at 29 subscriptions and 185 a month so I said 295 Because then we've got some one off donations 200 bucks a one off donation so if you subscribe you get loads of cool shit. I'm thinking as well as well adding in so we've got the size diversity Resource Guide which is moving actually do we already have that in there? Often double check. Yeah, no I think already have Yeah, I did put clothes in I was gonna say unless I didn't the clothes one because I've got myself and my VA for years have been working on this thing. Honestly, years been working on it and we've got clothes in there and there's lists of hundreds of places to shop. Their price range, links to the website. What type of clothes they are lalalala so it's amazing. You can get that for five bucks as a subscription. What are you waiting for? God. All right, so questions. Just a quick apology lasts last podcast I think it was a bit of loud because I had all my windows open because it's getting haich O T warm in Vancouver. So I'm on my way There's open. But I have less windows open today and a fan on me. And also I'm wearing less clothes, so he's not gonna be as loud. Or maybe my video editor made it sound less loud. I don't know, maybe you might be like, What the fuck are you doing, buddy? We just heard your voice. But anyway, if you've got a question for the show, you can always email me. Vinny at first fatty.com, I can't guarantee that I will answer all the questions because some of them might be things that I just covered or, you know, covered in the last episode or whatever. And you just haven't not to have known that. That's what I was talking about. And also, sometimes when people are emailing me, they, a lot of people don't ask, ask an actual question. So tell me about this, like, big complicated story. And I'm like, okay, okay. Okay. Okay. And then they don't have a question. Like, I don't know, I don't know. I don't know what the question is about this. So I can't answer the question. If there's no questions and make sure if your question is not on answered in this episode, if you want to reply back, and then add a question to your whatever you're saying, versus just a statement, beautiful love that. I think maybe sometimes people forget. And they're just like, This is what's happening in my life. And it's easy to forget, maybe. Okay, so we're going to start with a question from Jennifer, who says, This is so deep. So I read these questions, and I thought about them for a day. And some of them I was like, the stick in my mind. And so I'm like, they're juicy. I need to, I need to ask answer them. Okay, so, Hi, buddy. I'm comfortable with my fat body. But after years and years, and years of weight cycling, I have significant skin laxity under my chin, slash neck and arms. I've done so much work around fat acceptance and loving my body, as it is that I'm thinking of getting plastic surgery. I just want to feel like I look like my age and can confidently wear my gorgeous plus size clothes. How can I have plastic surgery and still be fat and body positive? Thank you so much. So excellent question from jet naffaa. This is really good. And I have so much compassion for how you're feeling right now. And I'm I'm really sorry that you're you're struggling, Jennifer. Sounds really difficult. And so first off, it's your body. You can do whatever the fuck you like to it, right? So I don't think that you're seeking my permission or anything. But just like an FYI. If anyone's listening, thinking like, do we have videos permission? Like you were probably right there. You're probably everyday being like, so I have videos permission, definitely what you're thinking. But you do what you want to your own body. No one else gets to say, right. But I think the question is, how can I have plastic surgery and still be fat and body positive. So So that's it. Let's break this down. So Jennifer has said, I've done so much work around fat acceptance and loving my body as it is. And previous to that. Jennifer said it's been I was weight cycling for years and years and years. Which leads me to believe that most of Jennifer's life was was weight cycling, right. And more recently, it's been stopping the dieting becoming fat positive. And all that jazz. Right? And I'm not sure how long so let's presume you're my age of No. 38. However older I'm on with it. You hate your fitness. Yeah, yeah. Well, so I'm gonna say seven. So yeah. He until you, let's presume you're 14 and average age. Would that be the average age? I guess people live to like, close to 90 now. Right? So let's say 44. Who the fuck knows anyway, so that means theoretically, you might have been dieting for 2030 years. And that means theoretically, you've stopped dieting for maybe a handful of years. So let's just make those assumptions because we're not sure exactly. So that means that you have had decades of believing and being in doctrine indoctrinated heavily into dieting is good fatness is bad, right. And then we've had a little bit of time, however much it is. And in that time, you could have done a lot of stuff, but a little bit of time compared to the time of the anti fat indoctrination. It's It's kind And of if we think about

Speaker 1 10:03

the scale, you know, like one side is the anti fat stuff. And then one side is the fat positive stuff, the anti fat stuff is really outweighing the fat positive stuff, right? And not saying that you need to have another, you know, 1020 3040 years of fat positivity before you feel more confident. But just like a heads up of, there's a lot that you went through, right? That's a lot of programming and a lot of time believing something. And then comparatively, a shorter time where you we, you've changed your mind. And so giving ourselves that patience, and as well, the thing is, I talked about this in the cults episode, I did an episode on cults, and diet, culture being a cult. When you leave most cults, society as a whole is like, oh, thank Fuck, you're out of that, that was really harmful for you. Well, we that sucks. How can we help you recover? Generally speaking, very generally speaking. Whereas diet culture, when you leave that cult, people are like, you should get back in? Why are you leaving that cold? That cold was good for you just try harder in the cold. So it's not like you're walking into this welcoming world. You're walking into a world which has pockets of welcoming and the fat positivity and anti diet communities. But most of it is, you know, telling you should go back in to anti fatness and diet culture. So our environment is not that supportive. Versus other instances of being convinced about a certain way of thinking. So when you say, I've done so much work around for acceptance and loving my body as it is, that's what Jennifer says, I wonder what that means exactly. Like what is significant work? Is it that you've gone to therapy for years, and you've you've enrolled in our fat positive course or you've learned intuitive eating with a health every size dietitian or you've read lots of books and podcasts and things like that. And I wonder if, as well, you've done a lot of stuff around focusing on skin positivity, and fat arms and fat chins, or wherever a lot of the stuff that you might be looking at is fat people in in socially acceptable fat body. So Young, fat people, smaller fat people, white fat people, non disabled, fat people, etc. And I'm thinking, you know, because a lot of a lot of clients, when I talk to them, I'll say, So tell me, you know, like, tell me what you're surrounded by like, what what types of things do you do you watch what types of people do you follow? And they'll say, oh, yeah, I follow a lot of really diverse people. And so I say, let's do a little experiment. Let's take out your phone and tell me out of the first 10 posts that come up on whatever app that you're using, like Instagram normally. What types of bodies are you seeing? And often they'll say, Oh, we've got a thin white dietician here, but they are intuitive eating. So that's good. Yeah, that's good. We've got another thin white dietitian, we've got a plus size model, we've got a post about recipes. And so it will kind of be a mix of things. It won't be that radical, fat liberation stuff. It won't be like, Oh, here's a quid disabled black content creator who talks about colorism and oh, the next poster is a fat dietitian who is autistic and talks about food insecurity and racism in, in food production, you know, right. And so people kind of go in a little bit light, which is fine, which is you know, is you we don't normally go into a new movement and be like, Okay, give me all the the most radical things because we don't know about it, it's maybe I'm gonna be a little bit overwhelming, a little bit scary. Because, you know, we're still tied to diet culture. And so a lot of the times, seeing people who are in bodies that are a little bit less confronting, it's easier to get information from them. That's why we have a lot of thin white non disabled, dieticians who have big platforms because they're not they help us buy into anti fatness, but in a way that is less anti fat than In a dietitian, who is straight out fat phobic, right? You know, we're still kind of in our brain. So they might, they might not be saying anything anti fat, they might be fat positive themselves, but they might be. In the back of our brains were thinking, ooh, if we follow, they say, maybe I'll become thin, you know, it's like an unconscious thing. So anyway, anyway, anyway, anyway, so I don't know the answers to this fit for Jennifer of how much what is I've been? I've done so much work around fat acceptance, and like, what does that mean? And as well with skin elasticity, is that something that, you know, there's lots of there's different accounts of people who talk about that, and differences with skin and, and people who have conditions, there's one person that I'm thinking of, and I can't remember their handle. And they have a condition where they age prematurely. And so their skin has a tons of elasticity. And she's like, famous and loves her skin now. But not saying that you have to do that. So I'm just curious. I'm just, I'm just curious around that stuff. What does that mean? And Jennifer might be listening, being like, Vinny, I've done all of that stuff, Liz. Hey, yeah, I've been in therapy for years. Lyza, and I've done so much stuff. Great, perfect, wonderful. And also even you haven't, that's fine, right. And also, here's another thing that people get into is I talked about it spoked I spoke about it last episode, which is Constant Learner mode, which is doing a lot of reading and listening and absorbing information, which is beautiful, love it. But also, we need to take action because we cannot learn to embody confidence or, or bravery without also taking action and action in a way that is supportive. So not, you know, going and doing something that's super scary and traumatizing. And I use the example if you wanted to learn how to swim, you could read lots of books about it. But there's no way that you know how to swim unless you actually got into the water. But don't jump into the deep end because you might drown. And you might traumatize yourself, but support yourself by going to the shallow end and just tinkling your toes a little bit. So have you been doing that stuff? The the action too? Have you been setting goals around like, Okay, I'm gonna I know, wear a sleeveless top for 10 minutes while I pick up a pint of milk or whatever, and then run back in and be like, Oh, God, you know, something like that. So Jennifer says, But I'm thinking of getting plastic surgery, even though Jennifer's done a lot of work. So the work hasn't work you've done hasn't helped you remove that distress that you're feeling when you see your skin, which is you know, it's It's distressing. And I use that word distressing, you know, to to, to get plastic surgery. I know it you know, I'd not I don't know I've not had surgery. But you know, from what I know about any type of surgery, it's a big thing. So it makes me think that this is something that's really distressing for you, right? And the question to consider is how much do we can continue to work on fat acceptance, before we use body modification? There is no kind of everyone might be different and there's no right or wrong thing. So for some people, it's zero work, right? Some people engage in body modification, if they don't like themselves and not coming from a, from a positive body modification, you know, coming from, I don't like myself, or not something that's gender affirmation or anything like that. But so say in in Jennifer situation, someone and Jennifer situation, they might decide to do zero work, and then also get plastic surgery. And that's fine, right. And for some time, for some people, it could be a lifetime of work, and then deciding, you know, I'm not going to get surgery because, you know, due to due to the principle of what that would mean is that I'm buying into anti fatness. And also, you know, I've decided to surgery is too risky for me or whatever. And I have decided that I'm able to live with my body the way it is, my distress is not so much that I can't live with it. But for some people, it's too distressing and it's not a possibility to live with it. Right. So, wherever you're at on that spectrum, you know, everyone's gonna be different, right? So I feel like you know, there's there's the pros and the cons of having surgery, right.

Speaker 1 19:46

You know, the one side we go back to the scales on one side, you've got all the distress that this is causing you. So you so you've said you, you we've not said I don't like My self, you just said I'm thinking about getting plastic surgery. And then on the other side, I just want to feel like I look my age. Okay? So you want to look your age and so on the other side of that, that might be ageism. Right? And then one side is, okay, if I get the surgery, Jennifer says, I can confidently wear my gorgeous plus size clothes. And I just want to say, ask, is that true? Or will there maybe be something else that comes up? Or are you like, no, it's just, it's just this loose skin. It's nothing else. I know that this is not going to be a, I get this. And then I say, oh, no, my tummies too big. And then I get that. And then I say, Oh, no. And that might be a clue that maybe spending a little bit more time with your mental health might be helpful. And so yeah, I think about, you know, on the the pros and cons for doing this. And what is stopping you from having the surgery? I'm not saying you should have the surgery. Surgery is good. But you know, what is it? Is it? The question is, can I have plastic surgery and still be fat and body positive? Is is it shame? Is it fear of letting the community down? Is it fear that people are going to reject you, the people that you respect the fat positive people that they're going to say, oh, no, Jennifer's gone and had this surgery, this means that she hates fat people. Is that Is that what's stopping you? Or is there something else? Because you know, people are gonna judge you, right? People are going to people who were not fat, perfect positive, we're going to judge you people who are fat positive, we're going to judge you, people who are fat positive, we're going to say that's cool that you did something for yourself. And people who were not fat positive will say the same thing. Right? So other people's opinions don't really matter. So I wonder like, what this is about? Like, why? Like, what is it that you need? What is it you need to hear? Anything is right, we all engage in body modifications to feel more confident, and more like ourselves for many different reasons. And some of those reasons are based on anti fat beliefs. Some of those reasons are to appease the patriarchy or white supremacy, and some are due to things like gender dysphoria or gender confirmation. And it's complicated, right? And there's some ways that we view view, body modification is just no big deal. And other ways. It's seen as betraying yourself or betraying goodness, you know, or being morally morally superior that I don't crumble to crumble under the weight of anti fatness, or ageism, or beauty ideals, right? And that kind of moral superiority that some people might feel because of that. So your question, how can I have plastic surgery and still be fat and body positive? Something that came up when I read that is, is when I was on the BBC, I was on a BBC show, and one of my fellow hat fat, happy fat people got a lot of criticism because she wears a lot of makeup. She looks amazing. And people were saying, Well, how can you really love yourself if you wear makeup? Like, expressing herself with makeup meant that she hated fat people or didn't like herself? And I was just like, What was one got to do with the other? What beliefs would you maybe need to hold? If you had this surgery? Like, what? What is behind this? Is it? Is it anti fatness? Is it a way to express yourself? Is it a way for you to feel more at home in your body. And if it's something like I don't like the look of this skin, because it makes me look bigger, or it's bad. And I'm bad because of it. That could be beliefs that are based in bias. And so that's an opportunity to overcome those beliefs because that bias is not going to go away with surgery, but you could feel a lot more comfortable. And also something to consider is that what we do to try and survive and thrive in this violently fat phobic world is our business, right? If you need to do you know anything Jennifer to thrive and survive? Really, people don't get to have a say, right. It's up to you. So, you know, if you don't already I would suggest having a chat with a therapist. I mean, I think everyone should be able to have access to support with mental health. You might not be able to access that. But, you know, even if it's like why, what is my hesitation and working through that type of stuff? Yeah. So, so so so so so so, and then if you do get the surgery, you know, it's got nothing to do with me or anyone else. And when I think about loose skin Going on arms. And under the chin. I just, you know what I think about, I think about all of the awesome videos that you could make with hilarious messages, right? Like I think about, like, if you had your arm out, and you had loose skin, you could like tuck it behind your arm. And then you could be like, This is what I say to people who think that my loose skin is is bad. And then you could N release the arm flap. And so then then on the arm flap, you could say something like, fuck you. I just think about stuff like that, and people embracing that stuff. Or, you know, when people will do their thing under the chin, and they'll have a fuck you, you know, and so be like, oh, you should be more prettier or whatever. And then they do their double chairman, and then the fuck you comes out. I need to do I need to make a post like that. I just think iconic, iconic. So, you know, maybe there's a way for you to embrace this and turn this into your thing. And be like, yeah, man, I've got these fucking amazing, like wings on my arms. And, and like this, this this call neck and, and you know what it is, this feels like, this feels like my survival. This is This shows what i've what, what my brain has been through what my body has been through, and I'm still here, my body is still rocking and surviving. And that might be helpful. Or not, you're gonna be like, No, that's no. I'm not making a video with my arm flap. And, you know, putting it down and it's saying fuck you. That's not my thing. Yeah, so. So anyway, Jennifer, you do you? You do you? And I think I think you probably already would have thought about this already. If you do have the surgery. I think that a big thing would mean not not to be like, Hey, everybody, look at me and my, my smaller arms and I'm great. And you're not, you know, or, Hey, you should get surgery. And I don't think that would be at all. Anything that Jennifer would do. Because obviously Jennifer's question is, it's thoughtful. But you know, if anyone else is out there being like, I'm gonna decide to turn into a dick. If I have smaller arms. Maybe don't know it. My listeners would do that. No, because you're all amazing. Another sip of that delicious tea, which is still at the perfect temperature because I put the lid on. Again. Next question is from Haley. One question I have is how to incorporate the word fat as a neutral descriptor in conversation. And also a few quick responses or phrases to say when people wince at the use of the word, or try to change the word for their comfort. Thanks, Haley. Yeah, I see this all the time. Especially when I'm doing training, which is not necessarily related to fatness because I do dei training, diversity, equity and inclusion training. And then when we get to the fat section, and I talk about fat stuff, or I say, my business is called first fatty, or I describe myself as fat, you could see people being like, don't say that. You're not fat, you're British, you're on fucking bears. And so I always say, you, hey, you may have heard me use the word fat, just so that you're aware fat is a neutral descriptor. And it is something that the fat liberation community has reclaimed. And it doesn't mean any of the negative things that we've been told that it means. So that's my quick and quick and quick and dirty thing. But if I was in conversation with someone, I would just be using the word fat. I would just be you know, if, I mean, if anyone asked me what I did, or whatever. And if you are, he says how can I incorporate the word fat as a neutral descriptor? If you get the chance to talk about fatness, just do it, just do it. And, and even if people don't react, just be like, Hey, by the way, just so you know, I'm not being a dick. Fat is a neutral word. And it's no big deal. And what I also say is, if I say, if you're not yet comfortable with this word, and this user using his word for yourself, there's alternative words that you can use that aren't stigmatizing, like higher weight or bigger body. What we do need to avoid is using the O words and then you can educate them on what the O words are, if people don't know it's obese and overweight, and why they're problematic. Another thing that I like doing is I like asking people questions. Like why? Why Why should we say that? Was mean, why do you? Do you think that being fat is bad? Well,

Speaker 1 29:40

no, but it's a mean word. Why? What do you hear when I say the word fat? Oh, I hear like, an attractive. Is it unattractive to be fat? Well, no. But isn't that what you're saying? When you say fat? No, I'm using it as a neutral descriptor and by using it, it's losing all of that. negative power that has historically been thrust behind that word. By using it, I am reclaiming it and just using it as a neutral or even positive descriptor. I'm fat. I love being fat. There's nothing wrong with the word fat. And if people want to say that someone is ugly or unhealthy, or lazy or whatever, then they can use those words. Well, that sounds like a very unkind person. I know you're not an unkind person. So let's just get used to the sign the word face, and it's an it's a word that we're gonna be using moving forward. So, you know, it's 2023. And this is the language that we're using now. Yeah, another one, like one of my favorite times when someone was like, don't say that as a singing group, and someone said, Oh, Vinny has a book out this week called fast, fatty. And they were like, and I said, Yeah, what they said, Why did you call it that? Oh, because I'm fat. And you know, it's amazing to be fat. I said, You're not fat. I said, I am. And they were like, No, you're not. And so I lifted my shirt, grabbed my belly and said, Am I not? What is this then? And they were their brain was like, oh, like, power down? Don't know what to do. Because they didn't want to say, yes, you're fat because in their mind, they were saying yes, you're unattractive. Yes. You're horrible. Yes, you're lazy. Yes. You're Lala. Right. And, and then, you know, after, you know, I was like, hey, it's a neutral word, blah, blah, blah. So and then maybe that stuck with them? Maybe? Maybe they're terrified of ever meeting another fact of it because they might show their value to them. But yeah, for me, it's kind of just getting curious and then just talking to people. Yeah. Okay. So, question from Amanda. Hi, Vinny. I absolutely adore you. Thank you. And the face value podcast a fine girl. Here's my situation slash question. I was recently diagnosed with diabetes, listening to amazing fat positive resources. Like first fatty has taught me that a diagnosis like this isn't about my weight. You're right, as thin people can have diabetes too. Absolutely. And not all fat people have diabetes nail on the head Amanda. However, my doctor seems to disagree and blamed everything on the O word. Even though I brought up my family history. I've been going to this doctor for a long time and have generally trusted her but her delivery of this news really threw me for a loop. I'm having a hard time reconciling information from a doctor. I usually trust with information I've heard from well researched books and podcasts about how Oh word is bullshit. How do we trust our healthcare providers when the majority of them still believe in the outdated racist sexist BMI? By the way, the first thing she said after giving me my diagnosis was good news. You can take a Zen pick which will help with weight I think she expected me to be excited but I'm proud of myself for being weeded out instead. Yes, thank you so much for making this world a better place for fatties, Amanda Thank you Amanda. Susan, lovely words. And oh my goodness, I am so sorry. This happened to you. Having a type two diabetes diagnosis, diagnosis at the best of times as a fat person is potentially traumatizing triggering distressing, difficult, scary, but then having a diagnosis from a doctor who is committed to spreading anti fat bias. Non evidence based care and fucking just bullshit is is worse, right? Luckily, you were equipped when you went in there with that amazing brain of yours to say, Ah, this is like bullshit. So, like bullshit. Could it be a budget? Yes, yes, yes, that's what it is. Your doctor sounds like a donkey. Really? Honestly, I swear by like, I don't you know, I just I genuinely don't understand because I'm thinking if I was a doctor, and I was telling someone a diagnosis, I would be like hey, you know I'm so sorry this has happened and this get you feeling better or whatever. I can't imagine being like, this is your fault, fatty. Maybe when I was really anti fat, honestly, you can see that if I when I used to be really anti fat I can Imagine being on a high horse being like, Hmm, they did this to themselves and getting self esteem from telling them off. I can imagine. Yeah, I used to get a lot of self esteem from feeling superior to others for things I deemed bad. Yeah, so even if fatness caused diabetes, then she still shouldn't have shamed you. As we know that shame is not good for our physical or mental health. So for those who are not as informed as Amanda on on diabetes, I want to encourage you to go to Hayes health sheets and go to the diabetes one, so it's just scroll down and look at the health sheets, but I'll give you a little give you a little taste and so they have lots of different diagnosis that are associated with fatness. We don't know that they are caused by fatness. And so they're the one on type three diabetes. So what is it type three diabetes is a condition that keeps your body from properly pre processing glucose leading to a buildup of glucose in the blood. diabetes occurs when the cells in the body have difficulty using insulin to turn glucose into fuel. And when the pancreas and organ near the stomach and intestine does not make enough insulin, what causes it? A number of factors can contribute to an increase risk of type two diabetes including weight cycling, yo yo dieting. Okay, any dieting and internalized weight stigma, but type two diabetes is predominantly a genetic condition. So Amanda was saying it's, you know, it's in my, it's in my family. But I was like, while much fat phobic and misinformation floats around, you cannot eat your way into type two diabetes, and it affects people of all sizes, let me repeat that is predominantly predominantly predominant, have forgotten how to speak predominantly a genetic condition, and you cannot eat your way into type two diabetes. Getting type two diabetes isn't your fault. It does not indicate that you have done anything wrong. It is simply a fairly common health condition. So this sheet goes on to how was it diagnosed? How was it treated? What is What about pre diabetes? I'm going to read the pre diabetes thing here because most people might not know about pre diabetes. In a nutshell, it's dogshit. pre diabetes is a controversial diagnosis that was strongly lobbied for by who do we think lobbied for this diagnosis? Get your guesses in come and shout them out to me who might have lobbied for for this diagnosis to be created? Did you say pharmaceutical companies? Yes, yes. So surely a lot lobbied for by pharmaceutical companies which are currently developing at least 10 drugs to treat this condition. Important things to know when discussing the validity of a pre diabetes diagnosis is that the American Diabetes Association lowered the blood sugar threshold that is considered pre diabetic in 2004 and lowered the hemoglobin a one C threshold in 2010, creating about 72 million new cases in the US. These changes were made without adequate research evidence, and were later adopted by the Centers for Disease Control. The CDC, under the newest definition of pre diabetes, about one in three people in the US is considered to be pre diabetic. The majority of people with pre diabetes do not progress to type two diabetes. And that number is, is tiny. I can't remember it now. It's like, is it 4% or 2%? Let's be generous and say 5%. That's how, you know a tiny percent of people will progress to having type two diabetes because it's a it's a bullshit condition. There's no clear evidence that treatment for pre diabetes impacts progression to diabetes. Studies have not shown an increased risk of cardiovascular disease in those with pre diabetes and there is no clear evidence that treating pre diabetes will decrease the risk of progression to diabetes.

Speaker 1 39:37

So talks about how diabetes is treated it all the different things you know, none of them saying lose weight. So at the end overall, blood sugar is complicated and it can be affected by many factors including sleep and stress. Try to look at your treatment plan as an exploration of how your body works and how If you can best support it rather than a reason to become obsessed with numbers, and testing, learning to trust the body become familiar with its internal cues, and focusing on behaviors rather than weight are crucial for improved health outcomes. It's important to know that type two diabetes can also be a progressive condition. That means that it's possible that what works now may become less effective over time. Remember that this is not your fault. It's just part of your health condition. And your healthcare provider can support you in finding new solutions. So imagine, imagine if you went to the doctor, and you heard that type of stuff, if you're diagnosed with type two diabetes is not your fault is largely a genetic condition. You can't eat your way into diabetes. And how we're going to treat it is we're going to treat it the same way that we will treat if you are a small bodied person, right? And this question is, how do we trust our health care providers? When the majority of them still believed in outdated, racist, sexist be in mind? Well, we can always, especially if we have other marginalized identities on top of that, especially if they happily and proudly espouse anti fat beliefs, it's hard to trust providers who say that, you know, do those things. And like, my doctor is anti fat. And luckily, she doesn't bring it up that much. And luckily, I have the, that, that level of knowledge that I can observe her saying these things and just be like, Huh, that's interesting that she's saying that, like, she's just, she's just saying it, because that's just her script, that's her spiel of, you know, to fix this condition, you need to lose weight, and you need to do this and that. And like, I just think it's just, you know, just automatic. And I just think about her brain and how she must think about herself. I'm kind of like, more able to observe versus internalize. And also understand that she still knows she knows a lot, right? She's able to prescribe me the things I need. And also, I'm able to know if she prescribes me weight loss, that is not an effective treatment. And so I can just be like, Okay, well, that one treatment suggestion, that's not for me. What are the suggestions? If we got? I'll do those other things. Thank you. So it's kind of like you have to edit, edit out, which sucks, right? I mean, it would be amazing. If you could find a fat positive provider, chances of that happening. There are there are fat positive people out there. And the training will be trained, we'll be changing the training that healthcare providers go through. I mean, I can train healthcare providers about this stuff. So it's not like every single healthcare provider in the world is like, Ah, I hate that people. A lot of them are, but some do exist. One thing you can do, by the way, if you don't know this, anyone listening is you can talk to Dr. Asha from the fat doctor who offers consultations. Dr. Asha cannot prescribe medicine cannot refer you to people, but will be able to talk to you about your condition, and what treatment could look like for you and how you might be able to go about asking your doctor. Also people can deep dive into fat positive diabetes resources if you want. Also, something else that you can do in a situation like this is protect yourself if you can, during before and after a session. So when I say protecting yourself, it could be that you have you talked to a friend beforehand and say hey, I'm really nervous about this. So you post to social media or when you're in a Facebook group, and you say, Hey, I'm really nervous about this. Any tips for me, when you go and you could have a patient advocate with you or a friend, you can have what I do is I will write out a list on my phone of the things that I want to talk about because I will get flustered in a doctor's because, you know, they'll, you know, they can come out and say anything at any point. And you know, my brain will like whoa, shut down. Not always but I will write down a list if I've got things that I need to say so that I can just refer to the list and not be you know, put off by anti fatness. Yeah, so think about how you could support yourself. Is it after the doctor's your appointment appointment? You need to go and have a nap. Do you need to go and text a friend and say I survived or do you need to make an appointment with Dr. Asha from the fact doctor to talk about the ball shit that you just experienced. Go to Dr. Ashes, Instagram, the fat doctor. And you can book sessions from the link in the bio Niner. Yeah, so thank you, Amanda. Thank you, Amanda, I'm sorry, you have to go through that. That's bullshit. It makes me think about when I got diagnosed with my thyroid, whatever it's called Hashimotos or whatever, you know, my thyroid doesn't work. It's slow. And the doctor said to me, Listen, this diagnosis is not an excuse for you to be fat, shouldn't say fat. She said their word. And I was like, I was there reeling from this diagnosis because I, you know, I didn't really know what it meant. And she was like, You're gonna have to take tablets for the rest of your life and your your body is attacking your thyroid. And I was just like, Oh, my God, I was really upset about it. And then she says, It's not this is not an excuse for you to be fat. And I was like, Bitch, I wasn't fat positive at the time. But I just saw what I've never not made an excuse to be fat. And what, just really stuck with me and I was just like, that is really rude. Anyway, it was just, you know, how how, you know, how they could have been supportive, that, you know, your doctor or my doctor could have been supportive and say, Hey, this sucks. I'm sorry that you've experienced that. It's a manageable condition versus me know, what I heard was like, you know, this is a terrible diagnosis. I wish I could go back to me there and be like, oh, you know, it's fine. Just take your tablets.

Speaker 1 46:43

And be d get some blood tests, you know, and that's my experience, right? Other people's experience might be different. Okay, so we have a question from Valerie. Hi, Vinny. Thanks for this opportunity is actually quite timely. I have a sensitive situation that has just happened a couple of days ago, and I need to help feedback input on an appropriate response. So I'm an artist and I work at several large long fairs during the summer months. The owner of the booth I'm currently working at only provides really cheap quality and sturdy chairs. I'm in a bigger body. So I always bring my own heavy duty quality major that is rated for me, mated more than three times my weight. I purchased two of them. They were expensive, but I considered it a wise investment in my health, safety and comfort. This year, my sister in law is working in the booth as well. She happens to be larger than me so I brought both my heavy duty chair so we both could eat us well. She's nowhere near the chairs weight capacity. But by the end of the first day of the for her chairs, front legs are bent and the chair seat was now slanted forward and low. I traded chairs with her but the end of the next day, the second chair was also bent. However, I also noticed that when she was sitting, her body was centered primarily the front edge of the chair where it sticks out like a diving board, instead of closer to the backrest where there is more structural support. This explained why the chairs bent. I didn't criticize her or shame her for what happened. But I've really had a hard time with this in my own head and thoughts. There are still two full weeks left of this fair and obviously we couldn't continue using the chairs. But we also couldn't use the ones provided in the booth. We went to Lowe's early the next morning before work and I bought two heavy duty camping chairs. They were even they were even more expensive than my original chairs, which sadly are now trash. And since I'm currently broke, I don't get paid till after the end of the fair as you had to borrow money from my mum to pay for the chairs. My sister in law has not offered to help with the cost of buying new chairs. And at this time, I don't know if it's even appropriate for me to ask her to do so. I'm distressed about this whole thing. I feel so angry. And at the same time I feel so ashamed for feeling this anger because it is body focused. But also I think I might be less upset if she had even offered to help contribute to the cost of new chairs. Please, Vinnie, I would greatly appreciate your perspective and input on this heart. Thanks, Valerie. Oh, wow. I am so sorry. This happened to you, Valerie. And reading your your response. It sounds like there's there's potentially a few things that are bothering you here. And so you know first off, you are not provided seating at the fairs and you have to buy your own. This is not appropriate. It is not okay that you are not provided the equipment that you need to do your job. Even if you were just visiting the fair and you weren't working the fair is appropriate to expect seating that accommodate you of body. And the fact that you have to go out and buy it is not okay. So for me, I'd already be, I'd be, I'd be cheesed by that. And I know, you know, like, it's an investment, and you can use it for other fairs. And too, but if it was me, I'd already be a bit cheesed. And then on top of it, the seats are expensive, right? So it's not like you're going out and just buying a loaf of bread, these are expensive things. And you mentioned, you know, I'm presuming that you're not a multimillionaire, and you're not there willy nilly buying chairs every day, you know, that's not something you can do. And so that's an investment for you. And so, for me, I'd be annoyed by that too. And it's an investment you have to wake make due to an inaccessible world. So you know, fat phobia, and ableism, all rolled up into one there. And these chairs are important for your comfort, and they broke when they shouldn't have. And your sister in law is under the chairs limit, yet, they still broke. And I know you mentioned like she was sitting at the front and, and that, like, I'm sure on the box, when you bought them, the chairs didn't say you know, weight capacity, this, but make sure you don't lean forward. Because then they're gonna buckle, make sure you sit squarely in the center, and don't move your body. You know, I'm sure that just said capacity this. So they broke when they shouldn't have, you were given, you're sold something that that was faulty. And that's not your fault. And that is annoying. And again, so another another little part of the annoyed, angry, another bit to that pile, you know, another straw. And it would be different if you know, her body size was over capacity. And you're like, Hey, Sister in law, there's a chair over there, but the capacity is this much. And she's like, I don't fucking care, I'm going to sit on the chair anyway. And she sat on it and broke. And then she was like, Haha, fuck you, I'm not paying for a chair. Right? That would be different. But that's not what happened. And that doesn't mean that those is your fault. You bought the chair with the assumption that it would hold a human's way. Strange. But I think what's really bothering you is that your sister in law didn't recognize that this was a big deal for you. And you know, it doesn't sound like you want her to apologize for the chairs breaking because, you know, you recognize it's not her fault. But maybe for her to recognize that this is a big inconvenience for you. And even if she couldn't afford to help you buy replacements, she could, you know, say, hey, this sucks. I'm sorry, this is happening. I would really love to be able to help you to buy replacements, but I'm unable to. And I'm really sorry that we have to go through this. This is not okay. I think if your sister in law said something like that, it wouldn't feel as as big. I think, what do you think? What do you think? What do you think? But because she didn't, then I can see all of these, these these systemic barriers that are in place, added on top added on top, added on top, and then you don't have someone who is feeling like they're on your side with this can be like, the straw that broke the camel's back. Right? You can like, you know, it feels like that could be what's going on. So if this happened to me, I was if I was in your sister in law's place, I would be really angry at the chair manufacturer. Like if I sat in chairs and they broke, I would I'd be really annoyed with the chair manufacturer. And I'd be like, you know, let's check the capacity here. And then I'd be like, You know what, I'm gonna contact them to get them to give us replacements, these motherfuckers are not selling these chairs, saying that they're right into this much. And I happen to sit on it towards the front of it, and it's buckled. That's fucked up. I would also ask if I could pay to replace them, but also be secretly annoyed that I had to pay for something that wasn't my fault. The whole thing would just be an annoying situation. Right? So but you know, that's what I would do is I'd be like, Hey, let me help because even though it wouldn't be my fault, I'm involved in the situation, right? If I was your sister in law, but that's coming from me, someone who has a certain type of personality, someone who is in the fat liberation world as a fat activist, right? I'd be able to say this is fucked up. It's not my fault. It's not your fault. Let's see if we can come together as a team to try and fix it. But maybe your sister in law, I can't I have no idea what type of person she is. She may feel like Hey, I was told these chairs were okay. And they broke. And that made me feel really embarrassed and angry. And then my sister in law, you seemed angry at me about it, even though she said that she wasn't. So I felt really humiliated and ashamed. And I was super stressed and just avoided the whole situation. And I hope that she forgets about it. And we can just move on. This is a stab in the dark, but I'm just trying to think like, what could be going on in your sister in law's head? Or you see someone mommy like, law might be like, Oh, whatever. Maybe she doesn't know that you you don't have money until the end of the month? Maybe she doesn't know you had to ask your mom. Maybe she thinks that the chairs? Were you got them for free from somewhere? Or? I don't know. Maybe she doesn't know. But here's the thing, presuming you want a good and open relationship with your sister in law? I would have a conversation with her. Because even you know,

Speaker 1 55:58

it's bothering you, right? It's bothering you. And sometimes, you know, we can we can talk talk something over with a friend or a therapist or whatever, you know, for me, because I have access to a therapist, I talked to my therapist, and I'm like, What do I want to do? Like, is it you know? Is it her? I'm angry at am I angry at the whole situation? Or am I angry at this fat phobic world? Am I angry at the the fair for not providing me chairs? And might you know, what is what is going on here? What where are these emotions come from. And also anger is really helpful, because it tells me that some kind of barrier or boundary of mine has been crossed, you know, I don't feel good, something something has encroached on my mental well being and I'm angry, and I want to protect myself. So that's a good thing, right? That you, you have that, that anger to help direct you to what the problem is. And the problem could be just your sister in law is just oblivious, or your sister in law is rude, or your sister in law is embarrassed or you know, whatever it is. But the thing is, a lot of times we only know what's going on when we have a conversation with someone. And so because this is a sensitive topic, right? And your sister in law might be embarrassed, I would gently talk to her and say, Hey, how are you feeling about the fact that the chairs broke? Or you can just start and be like, You know what, it was so annoying that those chairs broke when they said the capacity was this and it's inappropriate that they lied about the capacity, that must have been really difficult for you to see the chairs breaking, how do you feel about it? And just see how you know what she says and you know, and then you can be like, you know, what, I feel really frustrated that I had to buy more. And that was really difficult for me, especially because, you know, had to ask my mum for money and, you know, then that didn't make me feel good. And, you know, that was a difficult situation for me and see what she says, you know, she might be like, Oh, I didn't know, can I contribute towards them? And then you can like, No, it's okay. Or you can say yeah, that would be helpful. Honestly, a lot of these situations, I feel like talking to the person really clears up a lot. And you clearly care about your sister in law you wouldn't have you wouldn't be thinking about this. You would have messaged me, right? So you clearly have have love for her or care for her. And, and care for yourself because you're you're providing solutions for yourself so that you have a level of comfort and, and safety so which is all wonderful things right? So I mean, it makes sense if you're angry you make sense that you're angry your sister in law, it makes sense if you're angry at any of the things that led up to this because it's a lot right. And if you work in maybe it's hot summer, right? Maybe it's hot, maybe it's busy. There's probably no aircon right and because you're probably out in the open maybe I don't know. I don't know when I think a fair I just think of renaissance fair. I just think of being out in a field and people wearing like hats and shit and like drinking out of horns and we know wearing wool. That's what it was like, gonna be like at any type of fair but that's what I think about when you say fair or fair could be like in England a fair is rollercoasters and shit. That's what a fair isn't in England. Anyway, which to that would be you know, lots of people stressful. So, sending lots of love to you, Valerie. And even if you decide, You know what, I'm just going to let it go, whatever, that's fine too. Whatever you decide to do to this situation is absolutely fine and in your right to feel the way that you feel. Okay, so let's go to a question from destiny that says how do I begin exploring gender as a fat person? I'm on the larger in the I'm on the larger in the fat spectrum, and I'm genderqueer I've been thinking about trying some things out but it feels daunting to figure out where to start. If I was assigned female at birth for context, so I like dresses, but I want to try out some masculine stuff too, but it feels a little daunting. Okay, great question from Destiny. Love it. So for me because I'm non binary, right? You know what, like, recently I felt a lot more at home in my gender. And I'm trying out more feminine things. I didn't want to say I don't like saying that word. Right in regards to me. Like, I feel like, it's just me like, it's not feminine. It's just me, but society would say it's feminine. I just felt uncomfortable about the whole thing. So, for me, I guess it was a couple of years ago, now that I came out as non binary. I would do think do little things that were not so scary because I don't want to go out and you know, be dressed in a in a masculine way. Because that felt like too much. But you know what, for me, the thing was baseball caps. So I'd never owned a baseball cap before. So I bought one. And, and, uh, no baseball caps. Every gender wears them. But for some reason, in my mind, that felt like something powerful, but also something that was easy. And people wouldn't be like, Oh, my God, why are you wearing a baseball cap, they just blow up this someone's wearing a hat. And putting it on backwards, like that felt like a little bit of mask edge. That felt good without being too scary. Other things like underwear, it could be that you decide to try a different style of underwear and like wear like boxers, for example. Or binding type, top for your chest. And it could be that you just do something at home, right. And then when you go out in public, you just dressed the way that you normally do. And I think another thing too, with being a larger fat person is to also go and find larger fat people who are gender queer or presenting their gender in a way way that feels more exciting for you. The first person that comes to mind is Jay from comfy fat travels. I did a whole list of of queer fat people didn't I shared on the podcast, and I yeah, I did. Let me see if I can find it. Do a search Jay. Come comfy fat. Here we go. Oh, yes, I did. Okay, so, Episode 164. Here's only a few episodes, I gave a list of fat, trans non binary mask people. And so going to see just go into look at them visually. And they're in the show notes. So if you want to find the links, easily just go to first fatty.com forward slash 164. And seeing like, how they're presenting themselves, and what things about, about them feels that it might be aligned to you. And it can be just really little things. And that people don't know, like, you know, the baseball cap, like no one would be like, oh, when he's exploring their gender, they're just like this someone wearing a baseball cap is it's no big deal. Or it could be something bigger. Or it could be something like somebody that still feminine but less feminine. You know, like instead of wearing high heels wearing a flat, you know, flat is less feminine but less hyper feminine, I guess. And as well like other things that you can do is go into what is that website called? Is the gender things gender changing room, gender dressing room, gender dressing room. And the you try it you can try on your pronouns. Pronoun dressing room. Yeah, okay. So, pronoun pronouns dot fields like a.com. And so you put your name in, you put your, your, whatever pronouns that you want to try on, and then they will give you a little story and so they'll be like, Vinny, he went there and he went and his favorite dog is this and Lala. And so that's how I worked out that they then worked on me because I put in some cheese. Because this was when I was still she, they, I put in some cheese and I put Victoria which was which was my past name. And I put in Vinny which is my name and and then when I read them out, I was like, No, I'm a I'm an A so pronoun dressing room up at the link for that into the show notes. Yeah, so it doesn't have to be a big kind of like, hey, here I am world. And also it can just be the thing is with gender, he might try this stuff, you know, you might go try a little bit a bit more mask stuff and just be like, oh, you know, and one day you might be like, Oh, I don't like being feminine. And one day, you might be like, You know what I've, I'm Sis, you know. And that's the thing is, it's just this beautifully evolving thing. And you don't have to commit to anything, right? You can say, I'm going to be more masculine today. And then tomorrow be hyper feminine. And it's all perfect and valid and beautiful and amazing. Right? So that's the first thing that we used to worry me is like, well, if I do this, and I have to commit forever, and then if I, if I don't feel like it, then people will be like you're faking or you're not real, you're not a real, non binary person, because you don't look like this or do this or whatever. That's it. That's all that's all just transphobia homophobia, and bullshit, right? Because we're this beautiful evolving creatures. And who knows where the folk, you know, I'm going to end up. I've identified as non binary for a couple of years now, and it feels great. I feel great. And I felt a lot more stressed before about it. And now I've just feel like, I feel good. I feel more secure in being able to be more feminine. But then other days, I'll be like, I want to be feminine groves. Yeah. So I must say that I bought myself. Two dresses. A couple of days ago. I sent one back, and I'm wearing one right now and is making me feel it's making me feel a bit funny, to be honest. It's so funny. No, it's an experiment, right? So it could be like you like dresses that you're going to wear them with boxes underneath, or you're going to wear them with a baseball cap. You might be like baseball caps are not masculine. But you know, for me, that's how my brain goes. So thank you destiny. I hope that helped. And then I'll put the links for those people in the show notes. Or, Yeah, I'll do that. And also, in case I forget, then you've got that missed 164. Okay, actually, you know what, I'm going to leave it here, because I've got a, we have one more question, but it's kind of a kind of a kind of a big one. So we'll leave that for next episode. So only five questions. But if you have a question, feel free to email me. And we'll do another one next month. Next week. If you would like to support me, that wouldn't make my little fat heart pitter patter. And I would really appreciate it. You can do that by going to Kofi and becoming a subscription. If you'd like to support me, but without money, you can put a review for the podcast, you can send me a nice little message that says Vinny you're so sexually attractive. Actually, if you send a message like that my my VA will probably delete it. Delete. You've been a group. Yeah, so Okay. Well, thanks for hanging out with me today. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day, whatever you're doing, and remember to stay FERS fatty and I will see you in a while rocket IO. Sent it. See, you know, well good now it's alligator. Oh my goodness. I'm such a silly. See you in a while. Alligator alligator. I'm gonna say it again. Anyway, bye bye.