Episode 41 Transcript

You're listening to the Fierce Fatty Podcast, Episode 41. I am your host, Victoria Welsby. And in this episode we're talking about is diet culture, a cult? Let's do it.

I'm Vinny Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author, and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fierce fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. Society teaches us living with a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money, and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the Fierce Fatty Podcast Let's begin.

Unknown Speaker 1:24

Hello, welcome to this episode, fatty so pleased to have you here. How you doing? How's life? I'm feeling pretty obsessed at the moment. Because I've watched Hamilton now I'm not necessarily a big musical theater fan, although I not really true I am. What am I journal idea? I am. And anyway, so it's out on Disney Disney plus now. And why? Why does it get stuck in your head? Like what the heck the songs? There's so good. Xena and you're vaguely into musicals or whatever, then go and watch it or listen to the soundtrack because it's really good. I'm really obsessed with you'll be back. You'll be back. Once again. That's not the words, but that's a little bit of the words and satisfied. So God Oh my gosh. But yeah, go check it out. But today, I'm feeling like, Oh, I've had this new experience. Oh my gosh, so. So I'm asthmatic. And for the last year, my asthma has been really bad and been like struggling to breathe and I've been like putting it off, you know, just taking more inhalers. And then in the last couple of weeks, it's just, you know, got really bad. And so then last week, a few days ago, I'll call my doctor and I was like, I'm still having struggle, traveling, breathe, and it's just my asthma. And she's like, Oh my God. She didn't say Oh, my God. She like okay, you need to go and get tested for Coronavirus. You know, just to rule it out and go and see the doctors and in the hospital and stuff. And so they were like you have to go today. And so I went in and I went to this this place where they screen people for Coronavirus, Your Honor to go in until they like they come to your car and then you go in and then everyone's wearing like masks in the face screens and you know, most protective gear and I was like oh my God, what's going on? And yeah, they listen to my chest and all that type of stuff and all my symptoms, which were just that I couldn't breathe. And they were like, Oh, well, we think this is not your asthma. This is anxiety. And I was like, interesting, because I've never been diagnosed with anxiety, like I have depression, and it's pretty manageable for the most part. But I'm not necessarily an anxious person. And so when they said it's anxiety, I was like, Oh, wow, I never knew that anxiety could be manifested in not being able to breathe properly. Because I was like, Yeah, I mean, taking like 20 pops of my inhaler a day and it's not really working and they're like, Okay, well, it's not your asthma then. Like it makes sense because I have had probably one of the most challenging years of my life this year, one of the most challenging obviously not as challenging as being homeless and abused, but it's kind of getting up there. I've had a lot of things just it's just been a really unlucky year and almost every single part of my life something unlucky or unfortunate has happened. And yeah, it's obviously manifested in not being able to breathe properly. So if you hear me being like And then you know what it is anyway. And then so I also went to get the corona test and I'm in Ireland, right and this stuff, this is all free. It's all done so quickly. And so then I drove drove to another location where I you know, you stay in your car, and then they come and immediately I got through because there's no one else there. In Ireland, we don't have many cases at all, and the government is not like we can, Trump will feel sorry for any of you Americans. Anyway. And then I got the, if you're curious what the test is, they put like a little swab at the back of your throat takes a couple of seconds. And then they put this that this I didn't I didn't see it because like my head was back, but it must have been about 17 meters long, this swab to get it into the back of like, your your nasal cavity and they put it in and and it's it's it's a weird sensation. I'm not I'm not gonna lie, it's a weird sensation. And then they just do a little diddling. And then it's done and the nurse at you like the eyes, my eyes were watering. And I was like, Oh, my bangs, and that's it. Anyway, so, um, yeah, anxiety, different, it different a new new experience for me. And really, I think it's, you know, my lack of education about what anxiety could be like that I had never, I was like, Oh, it makes you not be able to breathe. This is strange.

Unknown Speaker 6:23

To be on the safe side. They're they're treating me for an asthma flare up. So they give me antibiotics and steroids, just in case. That's is what it is. But this doesn't sound like it because my chest sounds good. But yeah, so just be on the lookout if if you're feeling stressed about how, what your body could be doing to try and help you. And the reason with what I've discovered with anxiety is your body's in fight or flight, right. And so my body is is is making it so that, you know, it's saying we're at risk, we're in danger at that moment, even though like on a day to day, you know, I don't feel in danger. But obviously something in my mind is telling me and you know, looking at my all the different situations I'm currently experiencing, I'm like, Well, shit, that makes sense. So yeah, fingers crossed, life gets a little bit better. And I've been meditating and sniffing some central scented candles and all that sort of jazz. So if you've got any tips or tricks on how to to make your breathing better, and any I know maybe when I get back to Canberra, I'll get some nice medical marijuana and try that. And I guess I give my dog CBD oil. Because he's got anxiety, anxiety, maybe? Yeah, now we're doing you know, you get owners and dogs at the same he has anxiety now I do. So there we go. Before we get into it, just a quick reminder that I have a Facebook group called first party friends. And hey, oh isn't up here. Now, there's three questions you have to answer to get into my Facebook group. And I'd say 25% of people don't answer the questions. And what happens is, your request just gets deleted. Because I want to make sure that real people are joining the group and not like trolls or whatever. And so you have to answer the questions. Now, if you've requested and you've not been let in, you can actually go back to the press the button to go back to join the group. And you'll be you'll still be able to answer the questions. And so if you access because sometimes what you do is you can accidentally just press join group without seeing the question so that you see them, but you have to skip over them anyway. But you can go back and then answer them after you've already requested. So if you've done that, then do that. But yeah, you have to answer the questions. So go to the link in the thingamajig below. And there'll be a link there to join. But if you just on Facebook, you can just search for fierce, fatty friends. And then you can come and join the group. All right, so let's talk about what we are talking about today, which is diet cultures, diet, culture and cults. Now, the reason why I got onto this topic, and it's just been in my brain and I'm like I need to talk to you about it is because I have a business obviously. That's why you're listening to me. I have a business and I'm in the online business world and obviously I follow a lot of online business people. I have a lot of coaches and people that I pay money to to teach me how to be a business person. And at the moment Coronavirus is obviously still ongoing and in the states it's the epicenter of it and it's just absolutely going raging over the air the rest of the world is looking at the states like Get your shit together. Holy got home my god I can't be Maybe you have to deal with Donald Trump. It's just awful. Anyway. And so a lot of the business people that I follow, actually, like 99% of them, they all happen to be in the States.

Unknown Speaker 10:14

And just last week, or the week before, the main business person that I follow, he held an in person event, this mastermind retreat thing. And now some people joined virtually, but there were a number of people who were there who had gathered, and they were not social distancing. They weren't wearing masks, and they were just, you know, they traveled from different states. And they were in Arizona, which is I think, it's been reported like the one of the worst places at the moment for new outbreaks. So a lot of me and other business people have been calling this out and saying, Hey, that's irresponsible. Like if you're a leader, it in any way people look to you for what you should and shouldn't be doing. And so, them doing this holding an event, it was a number of business leaders that held an event is, you know, some followers are going to be like, Oh, well, it's okay for me, if I'm in the US to hold events and put people's lives at risk, in the name of profit. And that's not cool, you know, and then some people are gonna be like, That's not cool. And so anyway, me and a number of other business people have called it out and said, This is not cool. Anyway. And so I then went into thinking about, you know, unethical business practices. And I, for a couple of years now, I've been really interested in multi level marketing. MLMs, not interested, as in I want to do it interested in it as it's highly unethical, predatory. The stats show that 99.6% of people who join a multilevel marketing company, lose money. So you would be better to take your money and go to a casino and put it all on black or red, because I think you have a 10% chance of winning from the top of my head from what I remember, in my research, a demonstrate chance of winning, so you're like, you're more likely to win money just by going to get you know, to make more money by a longshot, just by going and gambling it away. Anyway, it's a multi level marketing is just a side note, in case you don't know what it is. And there's so many companies that are multilevel marketing, like Mary Kay Amway, The Body Shop, which is strange, not in all countries, but doTERRA Beachbody, which is just dieting bullshit. Anyway, and so the idea is that they sell products, but really, you know, they that's like a, they sell products, just so that they're not shut down for being illegal. What it is, is you're recruiting people under you for them to sell products, and then you're getting a bit of their money and their money that they pay to join and all that type of stuff. And it's like it's like a pyramid scheme, right? But quote, unquote, legal anyway, you searching, there's so many good documentaries and shit about this and so many good podcasts and whatnot. Like for ages I've just been I've watched so many hundreds of hours and listened to so many podcasts about it anyway. And so then I started listening to this podcast called toxic positivity, which toxic positivity is the idea that you should not not be expressing any negative emotions, you should just be always be happy and Bri and a lot of people in the MLM world subscribe to this thought process of toxic positivity. So there's this one podcast called toxic positivity by Lillian Lalo was really good. And I just started listening to it. And I was super excited and surprised when I heard on one episode, the link between diets, diet culture, and cults and MLMs. And I was like, oh my god, like, talking about how diet culture is wrong, is now becoming way more mainstream. And that connection between colts It was a short episode like 15 minutes I'll link to it in the show notes.

Unknown Speaker 14:35

It's it's been explored more and more, and they had Molly bar from Molly be consulting who is who's great on Instagram. Go follow Molly, and talking about that. So I was just like, oh my god, like Why have I not made an episode about this before? Anyway, so that's my long kind of ramble into why this episode is important and why I wanted to talk about it and What I spend my life doing, which is watching, listening to listening and watching videos and podcasts about true crime, about multilevel marketing, and about pimple popping, I know I'm horrible. I'm a horrible person, I'm sorry. This is my life. This is what I do. Okay, so just in case you don't know what diet culture is, I'm here talking about it. And you might not even be familiar with this term, but from Ed, Ed rd pro.com. This is how they define diet culture. Die culture is a belief system that focuses on and values weight, shape, and size over well being. Variations of diet culture also include rigid eating patterns that on the surface are in the name of health, but in reality are about weight, shape, or size. So let me repeat that diet culture is a belief system that focuses and focuses on and values weight, shape and size over well being. So we live in a diet culture, like most, you know, most cultures and countries in the world is focused on your size, and they disguise it as Oh, well. It's about your health. It's about your health. It's not about your size, but also if you lose weight, then that's great, you know. So what is a cult? You probably know this already, but just in case. So Wikipedia defines a cult as in modern English, a cult is a social group that is defined by its unusual religious, spiritual, or philosophical beliefs, or by its common interest in a particular personality object or go. Okay, so there is this cult expert called Steven Hasson. And he has developed something called the bite model freedom of mind.com forward slash bite model. Again, I'll link it in the show notes. And it says Steven Hassan developed the bite model to describe the specific methods that cults use to recruit and maintain control over people. Bite stands for behavior, information, thought and emotional control. Destructive mind control can be determined when the overall effect of these four components promotes dependency and obedience to some leader or cause. It is not necessarily for every single item on the list to be to be present. And so he goes into the four different things and it lists out all the possible different ways that you could be being controlled or influenced by cults. Continuing like many techniques, it is not inherently good or evil. If Mind Control techniques are used to empower an individual to have more choice and authority for their life, remains within an authority for their life remains within themselves, the effect can be beneficial. For example, benevolent mind control can be used to help people quit smoking without affecting any other behavior. Mind Control becomes destructive, when it undermines a person's ability to think and act independently. Okay, so I'm going to go into the four different parts of this bike model and show you how it is connected to diet culture and diets. So yeah, okay, so the first one is be behavior control. So I'm not going to list out all of the different things in here. Because there's, there's a lot here's some things summarized, okay. So behavior control, these are things that courts do regulate individual's physical reality, dictate where how and with whom the member lives and Associates control types of clothing and hair styles, regulate diet food and drink hunger and or fasting.

Unknown Speaker 19:38

Oh, well, well, well, well, wow. Interesting. Okay, just in those first four things, controlling what you what you wear, how you eat, when and like your physical reality, like what you do with your life, how you and so this could be how you exercise, what foods you eat. Whether you're spending time with certain people who are not dieting, because you don't want them to influence you in negative ways, and so your physical reality, so rep number that's number one regulate an individual's physical reality. When you're on a diet, your physical reality is 100% regulated from the moment, I would wake up, the first thing that I would be thinking about is my diet is food. When I'm allowed to eat, what am I allowed to eat? When I should be exercising, how much I should be exercising? What clothes that I should be wearing to hide my body? What clothes I should be wearing to indicate that I'm a good fatty. Everything morning tonight was affected when when I was dieting, right, because you're obsessed. And you are looking to the diet to tell you and diet culture to tell you what you should be doing and shouldn't be doing. Okay, continuing manipulation and deprivation of sleep. How many times would you have woken up early in the morning to go to the gym, or after work when you're exhausted, force yourself to work out or be up late or early in the morning? planning meals or you know, cooking things for yourself which are on the plan. And also by the way, sleep deprivation is a torture device torture technique. It is really it really wears you down? Okay, continuing restrict leisure, entertainment, and vacation time. How many times have I in my life, not done something because I knew that it would make me fall off the plan. So say if my friends were like, We're going on a night out? And I'd be like, No, I can't because I knew that if I if I drank some alcohol, then I'd be like, fuck it. And then I'm like, I want to come back and I want some chips and I just you know, and then I I would have broken my my diet and even just drinking alcohol that would be broken the diet anyway. And restricting like leisure and entertainment time, you know, vacation time. constantly thinking like if I did go on holiday or on vacation? What I could be eating how much of the diet I could be, you know, breaking and how does my body look when I'm at the beach? And if I'm at the cinema for entertainment time, can I have popcorn? And should I have an ice junkie? Or should I not and just constantly Anyway, okay, continue major time spent with group indoctrination and rituals and or self indoctrination, including the internet? Hmm. Are you spending major time when you're on a diet? Looking at food recipes, following accounts that says oh, here's my goal body. Learning about your diet, you'll feel the next rewards and punishments used to modify behaviors both both positive and negative. Now,

Unknown Speaker 23:33

have you ever rewarded yourself when you were dieting? Ever? You know any self flagellation if you didn't lose weight, positive and negative rewards and punishments? Lots of that indicting right. Next under behavior control impose rigid rules and regulations. Well, that's just like the DNA of a diet is rigid rules and regulations. Finally, under this be behavior control is instilled dependency and obedience. Now this is a massive one. So something that diets do is they infantilize you, they they treat you like you have no idea how to feed yourself how to look after your body, and that you need to follow these rules and this diet because this diet is the best diet. And if you don't, then you can't be expected to be to be left on your own own devices. Because if you do well look what's happened to your you're just so fat and greedy. You need to do what I tell you to say, with this diet. You must eat six peas only one kernel of corn only because you don't know how to feed yourself. Have you ever felt that that you don't know how to eat and if it's left up to you then you'll just To eat everything that's instilling dependency on the diet like you because you can then never, you can never just go off and feed yourself on your own because and listen to your body because you'll be out of control. Right? Okay, so that is the behavior control. Next is information control. So the first part of this is deception. So deliberate deliberately withhold information, distort information to make it more acceptable and systematically lie to the cult member. Now, the backbone of diets is deception. Because there has never once in the history of the world, been a study to show that a diet successfully successfully reduces your body weight long term. Okay. And so just the idea of dieting is based in deception, withholding information and distorting information. Because, you know, you see these adverts and they're like, Oh, my God, these people are so happy because they're so thin and ah, do what diet you're going to be amazing. And even at the bottom, if they have like an asterick, saying, you know, results not typical, or, or sometimes they'll see some sort of stat that says, like, oh, 10% of members are able to lose weight. And I'm like, that's not true. 10% of members are not able to lose weight. And even you're not looking at that Asterix of 10%. And even if you are, you're like, I'm the 10% it's gonna work for right, they it's just, they have got no scientific proof to show that their diet works. And it's just an if you were to ever question and say, or can you give me some evidence? They anything that they produce, it would be not based in science, right? Okay, so the next one in this in the information control is minimize or discourage access to non cult sources of information, including internet TV, books, blah, blah, blah, critical information, former members, and keep our members busy, so they don't have time to think and investigate. So have you been told in your diet, if you should be consuming certain types of information to make sure that you stick to the plan? Are you reading a lot of like, diet magazines and watching hours of the biggest loser I would do, I would binge watch The Biggest Loser hours on end. And I'd always be like, look at these disgusting phase. And the ones that wouldn't lose like, you know, because they'd be losing like 1000 pounds every week. And the ones who didn't lose 1000 pounds now and you lost like 999 pounds in a week I you know, I'd be like, Ah, well, they really didn't try just deepening my fat phobia and solidifying that diets were good. So next, compartmentalized information into outsider versus insider doctrines. So, ensure the information is not freely accessible, and controlled information at different levels and missions within the group.

Unknown Speaker 28:33

Next, encourage spying on other members, impose a buddy system to monitor and control member report deviant thoughts, feelings and actions to leadership and ensure that individual behavior is monitored by group. Now, what a way to monitor your behavior by the group by having a weekly weigh in. And now that is going to tell if you have been good or bad if you are lying, or if you're telling the truth when you say that you're on the plan. And a lot of diets will say that you need to have a buddy a dieting, someone who's going to help you and keep you on track. And sometimes I've seen in diet and meetings, you know one person being like, Oh, well, I haven't eaten anything. And someone was like, well, you ate a pee the other day so it's not actually true. Is it now Samantha you had a pee so be honest with the group. And as well if you're having these deviant thoughts, feelings and actions like you having to confess to the group. Well, I did Yeah, I had some dust on Wednesday. That's probably why I only lost 17,000 pounds this week and not 100,000 pounds you know Okay, so final in this one is extensive use of cult generated information and propaganda including newsletters, magazines, journals, tapes, videos, YouTube movies, and misquoting statements or using them out of context from non cult sources. Holy shit. I would devour all dieting magazines I would just be so that would just be my Bible. Anything that I could get from I used to be do Weight Watchers, not obviously promoting Weight Watchers because it's obviously a big bag of shit. But anything Weight Watchers that I could get my hands on any, you know, information and stuff that they had produced? I'd be like, well, this is the Bible. Yeah, so that is information control. Next is this is the bite model, and we're onto T thought control. First bit here require members to internalize the group's doctrine as truth. Adopting the group's map of reality as reality, instill black and white thinking, decide between good versus evil, and organize people into us versus them. Insiders versus outsiders? Oh my god. Right. So require members to internalize the group's doctrine as truth. Now, have you ever come across someone who's like, Oh my god? Well, I've read this book about this new diet. And turns out that if you only put cucumbers up your bum for a month, like that's how we used to consume calories when we were aliens, and this is a new diet and this is the way that we we need to eat and I know that that's true because I read it in this book that this person read and so if you're in a diet you're like, No, this is this is true. This is true. This works I know this works it's working for me. And it's very black and white thinking right black and white thinking that is what diet to do is black and white thinking this this body is good this body is bad this body is healthy this body is unhealthy. This food is good, this food is bad. And there's a lot of moralizing of foods so good versus evil evil you know that kind of like religious undertones or overtones of you know, this food which is quote unquote, junk food is like even that word junk garbage there is no sir there's no food that is junk or garbage. Unless you're eating, I don't know, dogshit or something, then I would say that probably is garbage. But there is no such foods are morally superior or inferior. Right. But that is not what diets diet culture tells us. Not at all. Not at all. And then organize people into us versus them. Okay, so

Unknown Speaker 33:23

have you felt when you're on a diet I know I have moderate morally superior to the all the fatties who are not dieting like, Oh, they're so they're so ignorant. They don't know that they could be like me, and on my journey to health if they only if they had some willpower, and they weren't so gluttonous, not like me and the rest of the people in this weight reducing temporary group. I felt so like, I had the answer. And they didn't people who weren't dieting, people who were fat and happy. They didn't know any better not like me. And oh my god when then then when the diet fails, and you're like, Oh God, I am just like all of those people that I was denigrating 10 months ago. Okay, next change person's name on identity. So now this I've seen this a lot. Now you might be thinking what Well, I didn't I didn't change my name on identity when I was on a diet but hey, I see so often I don't know this if this is a new tactic that diet companies are taking but people on Instagram and other social media not on Facebook as much but Instagram. They change their name to their name and then Slimming World.

Unknown Speaker 34:50

Or an abbreviation of Slimming World. So let's say meanwhile, there's a British diet company. Have you noticed this? So they're making their change their name ain

Unknown Speaker 35:00

I think it's a way so that all the other Slimming World people can find each other. But that's fucked up. Anyway, so change the person's name and identity identity your identity has definitely changed like you're a dieter, you're a good person, right? You are not one of those greedy factories anymore. You are on your way to salvation. Okay, next use of loaded language in cliches which constrict knowledge stop critical thoughts and reduce complexities into platitudinous buzzwords. Right. So there's loads of this in in, in diet culture. No pain, no gain, that type of thing. You know, very. Yeah, platitudinous buzzwords. You know, calories in calories out, you know, and it makes these really complex things into a buzzword. Okay. Encourage only good and proper thoughts, teaching thought stopping techniques which shut down reality testing by stopping negative thoughts and allowing only positive thoughts including denial, rationalization, justification, wishful thinking, wishful thinking, chanting, meditating, praying, and singing or humming. Now, this is a lot of denying reality of hunger, denying the reality of being on a diet, just not listening to what is going on with your life and your body. Next, rejection of rational analysis, critical thinking or constructive criticism, Forbid critical questions about the leader doctrine or policy allowed. Now a lot of this is just follow the program. Don't ask questions about it, it works if you just do this is going to work. Look at Sally over there, she lost loads of weight and she just followed the program. She didn't ask questions at every step. She just did it. Hmm. Next, labeling alternative belief systems as illegitimate evil or not useful. instill a new map of reality. So the new map of reality is that if you become thin, then all of these magical things are gonna happen. Like I mentioned in my last episode, or not last episode, maybe a couple of episodes ago. You know, if you become thinner, then you're going to be healthy, then you're going to be happier than your partner is going to love you then it will.

Unknown Speaker 37:46

Okay, final one in the bytes. Model II is emotional control. Okay, so emotional control, manipulate and narrow the range of feelings, some emotions and or needs are deemed as evil, wrong or selfish. Okay, so feeling hungry is wrong. Why would you feel hungry when you just ate some dust? I mean, come on, what's wrong with you? Fear that the diet won't work that there's another one. So you'll be like, I'm scared that other diets not going to work? What am I going to do? Like once, when I lose the weight? Can I start eating normally again. When I finally got out of me doing my big diet, and I left the cult, my leader was like, I'm really worried and scared for you about what is going to happen to you. Right? So she was like, basically, you are wrong. You're wrong. And because I was an I was an almost leader. So I was like weighing people and I was selling the garbage that they you know, the magazines and the chocolate bars or whatever. And she was like, people need you as a need you as a leader. They need you as an inspiration. And you're just going to you know, she didn't say oh, you're just gonna get fat, but she was like, I'm just really worried for you. Okay, teach emotion stopping techniques to block feelings of homesickness anger or doubt. So, like I've said before, you know, anger like what I'm gonna have to fucking eat nothing for the rest of my life, just stay small. make the person feel that problems are always their own fault. Nevertheless, leaders are the group's fault. Sounds familiar? It's not that the diet failed, is that you failed doing the diet. Right? The diet companies never say You know what, actually, you know, our product is really faulty. Actually 95 to 100% of people. It doesn't work for them. And you know what, actually, we should give you your money back. Imagine imagine, imagine if you got a product, any product you bought? Anything, a TV, for example, and 95 to 100% of the time that TV didn't work. And then you call up the TV company like, Hey, listen to me now. You hold it Best Buy Best Buy 100 days in a row, I tried to turn on that TV and it's only turned on three times. And Best Buy or like, well, is because you know, you're not in a good mind space here. I'm not sure if you're really trying to turn the TV on. Are you following the plan? Are you really hitting the on button in the right way? And then you say, oh, maybe? Maybe I'm not. Maybe I'll just keep trying again for another 100 days and see if it's if it's if it works or not. No, you'd be like, I fucking pressed the button. It's not turning on. Don't turns on. Like once every 100 times TV is broken. Give me my fucking money back. But with diets and with cults, they say it's your fault, not their fault, not the group's fault. Not the plans fault, not the products fault. It is you. Okay, so promote feelings of guilt or unworthiness such as you're not living up to your potential. Your family is deficient. So with your family is deficient. Did your family or they're the ones that made you fat? Your past is suspect. So they'll say, Well, you made yourself like this is you can only blame yourself because you look like this. Your affiliations are unwise. So this is continuing affiliate out affiliations are unwise, your thoughts, feelings, actions are irrelevant or selfish, selfish. And they promote social guilt. I mean, like diet, some guilt, they are literally like they're married, right? Then, you know, it's just guilt, guilt guilt that you it's your fault that you, it's your fault that your body is like that, that you feel like that, that you behave like that, whatever it is, it's your fault. And you need to be feeling really fucking guilty for the state of who you are the way that you behave. Okay, next, so instill fear, such as fear of thinking independently, the outside world. So I knew that the outside world wasn't safe. So

Unknown Speaker 42:28

because of all of the different variety of food, all of the different situations that I could be putting myself in. So like, say, if I had to go to a restaurant, and I didn't know how many calories were in a certain thing. And Weight Watchers would they'd give you this book, this big giant book that you didn't give you how to buy it, obviously, where it lists out all of the foods in the different main restaurant chains and how many points that they were in. So I'd be like, Oh, well, I can only go to this one restaurant chain, because I know that that that's that start or I can have that one thing because it only has, you know, the least calories or whatever. And if I ever had to go to somewhere where they didn't have, you know, I didn't have the calorie information, then then it would be unsafe for me. It was dangerous, because what are the consequences if I ate something that was outside the plan next, losing one's salvation, who this is a big one. So the hope that you will be good if you are thin, that salvation, of not being a fat person and what that means if you are a fat person and what it means if you are a thin person, and leaving the diet means that you are losing your salvation, you are losing their hope for life. That is what they tell you. That's not the reality. The instilling fear so a fear of leaving or being shunned by the group, and others disapproval. Mm hmm. Huh. Yep. So extremes of emotional highs and and low so love bombing and praise one moment and then declaring You're a horrible sinner the next. So if you lose weight, then Oh my God, you are celebrated in the diet culture cult, right? You're so celebrated. And then if you don't, then you are shamed. You might not be overtly shamed, but you know that people are thinking like, oh, well, what's she been doing? What have they been doing this week? They clearly haven't been sticking to the plan. And shame if you leave the group if you say I'm done with dieting, then people like oh, did you say oh my own life stopped going to meetings they're putting on way. Okay, next ritualistic and sometimes public confession of sins. Now in Weight Watchers, I, you know, we do the weighing of everyone and then we'd, you know, how did your week go? And then someone was like, Well, I'm actually put on Wait this way. And I think it's because I won baked bean last week. And, you know, I was really greedy and whenever having to confess their sins of what they've done, just to make it clear that FYI, it's not actually anyone's fault if you don't lose weight, even if you do stick to the plan, and many times people were at are, quote unquote, perfect and put on weight, even if they are perfect doing the diet, because their bodies are magical, and make sure that we don't die with this forced starvation. So just wanted to make that clear in case. You know, me, me telling you what the cult, the diet cult is saying, that's not the reality, right is that you could eat nothing and still put on weight because our bodies are trying to keep us alive. Okay, so phobia indoctrination, including irrational fears about leaving the group or questioning the leaders authority. So first part is no happiness or fulfillment possible outside the group. And that is such a big one, right? Because if you leave, and you're fat, your life is a non starter. Next, it says terrible consequences if you leave the consequences that that diet culture tells us the consequences for leaving, and not dieting, not trying to become thin. The consequences are death. Right? They say you will die. And they use these as examples all the time, like, Oh, this one person had a heart attack one time, someone died once and they happen to be fair. And if you do leave, then you're not gonna be able to play with your kids and your kids not gonna love you as much because you're not going to be able to do handstands or whatever with them. And you can do that. If you're fat. You can learn to do a handstand and still be fat, whatever. When your partner thinks that you've someone attractive and your family is embarrassed by you, like holy shit, are they terrible consequences if you leave? They are really awful consequences. Okay, finally shunning of those who leave fear of being rejected by friends and family, and never a legitimate reason to leave those who leave are weak and

Unknown Speaker 47:27

undisciplined. Hmm, well, the consequences of leaving, I want to go into that a little bit more here with this article called, titled, why we fell for clean eating by B. Wilson, and it was written for The Guardian. And I want to read an excerpt here for you. Now, I want you to skip forward a couple of minutes here if you don't want to hear brief descriptions of disordered eating behavior. So I'm just going to read this thing out, skip forward, three minutes to avoid hearing this. So here we go. In the spring of 2014, Jordan younger noticed that her hair was falling out in clumps. Not cool was her reaction. At the time younger 23 believed herself to be eating the healthiest of all possible diets. She was a gluten free sugar free oil free grain free lagoon free plant based raw vegan as the blonde vegan younger was a quote unquote wellness blogger in New York City, one of 1000s of Instagram, where she had 70,000 followers, rallying under the hashtag, eat clean. Although she had no qualifications as a nutritionist younger had sold more than 40,000 copies of her own $25.05 day cleanse program, a formula for an all raw plant based diet majoring on green juice. But the quote unquote clean diet that younger was selling as the root to health was making its creator sick. Far from being super healthy, she was suffering from serious a serious eating disorder, orthorexia, and obsession with consuming only foods that are pure and perfect youngers raw vegan diet had caused her periods to stop and given her skin an orange tinge from all the sweet potato and carrots you consumed. The only carbohydrates she put she permitted herself. Eventually she sought psychological help, and began to slowly widen the repertoire of foods she would allow herself to eat. Starting with fish. She recognized that the problem was not her veganism per se but the particularly rigid and restrictive diet regime she had imposed on herself. As younger slowly recovered from her eating disorder. She faced a new dilemma. What would people think she She agonized if they knew the blonde vegan was eating fish. She leveled with her followers in a blog post entitled, Why I'm transitioning away from veganism. Within hours of announcing her new diet younger was receiving irate messages from vegans demanding money back from the cleanse programs and T shirts I had bought from her site, featuring slogans such as, oh, kale, yes, she lost followers by the 1000s, and received a daily raft of angry messages, including death threats, some responded to her confession that she was suffering from an eating disorder by accusing her of being a fat piece of lard who didn't have the discipline to be truly, quote unquote, clean. Now, obviously, that is a more extreme version of the consequences of leaving, because this person has 70,000 followers. And most people don't have 70,000 followers, but you will experience that potentially on a more micro scale. But it's still consequences, right? You still have, it might just be a couple of people being you know, thinking that you're a terrible person, but it's if that is your life,

Unknown Speaker 51:20

and your life is dieting them. And those people are a big part in your life, then that is really painful and hard and difficult. And it is really hard to leave the cult of diet culture. I want to read you another post from Dr. Jill Murphy. And she writes in her piece, which is titled, trying to leave the cult of weight loss, and why it's so much harder to leave than an actual cult. And I'm going to put all of these links to all of these everything that I mentioned in the show notes. So let me read you this thing about why it's so hard to leave from Dr. John Murphy. Here's one of the striking differences I see between leaving a cult and leaving diet culture. While the definition of cults is somewhat unclear and controversial, there is a widely accepted understanding that a cult is a social group with socially deviant or novel beliefs and practices. But diet and weight loss thoughts and ideals are not considered socially deviant by the masses, nor are they novel in our culture. They are the norm. If you were to escape a cult, you'd be free, you'd begin to heal and recover and reclaim your life and most of the people around you would be supportive. They'd be appalled by what you had injured in, enraged even, you'd receive confirmation that what you went through was traumatic and immoral, and that by walking away, out of your coat community, you're doing the right thing, the thing that is best for you. When women are finally able to see diet culture for what it is and walk out of it. They are not often met with applause, or even compassionate understanding. Instead, what they find is that to their horror, the world that we live in is the cult. And while they've walked out, everyone around them is resolutely bought in their school system is a cult, their doctor's office is the cult The gym is a cult, the grocery store line and the coffee shop and their favorite television shows and fiction books. They are all the cult. And instead of feeling like they're finally free, women realize that they will never truly be free. They're going to need to cultivate their own freedom daily while enduring side eye from their sister in law and comments from well intentioned equations, acquaintances, and strangers that love to give free advice on all the ways that you could and should buy back in. It's worth it though, because the best thing about leaving this cult is that you reclaim personal power, you make that statement that you will no longer participate in your own abuse or oppression. And that is the moment that life gets infinitely better, easier, and more incredible. So it's absolutely true. It's everywhere, right? This cult this diet culture, cult is everywhere. And so it makes it very, very difficult when there's hardly any and there's hardly anyone to say you know what, you're right though. Like what you experienced was bad and luckily you have this community online and people in real life as well who know what's not real life and people in day to day life and in the you can see face to face that are able to say yeah, no, I you know, I understand and obviously it's gonna be less than those who were like you should try diet. Have you thought about dieting before all. I also

Unknown Speaker 54:51

want to recognize here that leaving any type of cult is hard and I don't necessarily believe that leaving a Diet cult is harder than leaving a traditional cult. It's, it's just very different, right? So if someone is in an extreme religious cult, then they could be shunned from their whole family and community and have to start again, perhaps with no money, or limited money, or no education, or limited education. And if you grew up in if you grew up in a cult, then you're going to have to enter a world that you don't necessarily know. And were told was very dangerous. And, you know, the people in it were very evil, for example. And that is really, really, really hard, obviously. And so I don't want to take away from the fact that leaving any type of coal is hard. And I think that what Dr. Jill is saying in this piece is that one benefit of leaving a traditional cult is the rest of the world is like, oh shit that would that that's not good, like cults are bad. But when we have diets, the rest of the world is like, Oh, well, just die. Oh, I know, it's great. But still, even if you're leaving a diet cut, there is still a potential for you to be shunned from your community. If your community happens to be if you're surrounded by dieters and fat phobes. And yes, lots of people have lost family members, when they have left the dolt the cult of diet. I know myself that I have lost tons of friends who were still in the diet cult, and a family member. But the difference was it that was my choice, right. And so me leaving the dark cult afterwards, after time, I made that decision to cut those people out of my life. Whereas if you're living in a traditional extreme cult, religious cult, then you don't necessarily have that decision. And a lot of times people want to connect with the people who are still in the cult. So just some differences there. Also, you're not likely to be going into a Slimming World weekly meeting and experience all of the extreme things we think about in a religious cult, you're not going to be told to go out and kill fat people who refuse to believe in the ways of dieting, right. But it doesn't mean that the impact of a diet cold isn't incredibly harmful. And fat people do die at the hands of diet culture, and straight size people. Think about the subpar medical treatment that fat people get. Or if a straight sizing person is straight size person goes into get, they have an issue. And it's seen as a quote unquote, fat person's issue. And they just don't get treated or diagnosed because they have a smaller body. And so they're presumed to be healthy. So that you know, it harms fat people and straights it with people. And what about the effect that diet culture has on people's mental health? And how many people die? Do too unmanageable mental health, in part because of the messages of diet culture. Those messages being that they're lazy, they're greedy, their body is wrong, they're unlovable, they're never going to get a boyfriend because they're fat, nella How much is that, you know, I say apart, but that could be a giant reason that people no longer want to live. And I'm willing to bet more people die every year at the hands of diet cults than more traditional extreme religious cults. I'm willing to bet because think of all of the millions and billions, billions of fat people in the world, and how they are not getting the care that they deserve, and the consequences of that the consequences for their physical and their mental health. So, you know, differences there. But I want to I want to say that cults are fucked up, you know, what we would think of as traditional coal is awful. It's terrible. It's, it's very difficult and it's very, extremely difficult for people to leave and to re enter the world and do all of that stuff. And also, diet cults are awful and terrible, and it's difficult to recover. And we should, you know, educate people on what it's like to be.

Unknown Speaker 59:53

Have your mind controlled and have your life controlled in a way that is not beneficial for you and doesn't make You happy? So it's your decision, if you want to engage in diet cults or not, is your decision, right? You can do what you want. But I encourage you to use your critical thinking skills and ask if what you are doing is making you feel good, making you feel empowered, or it's making you feel guilty and ashamed. And if it's making you feel guilty and ashamed, maybe there's another way leaving diet culture call. And we can't completely leave it because we live in diet culture, but we can try and protect ourselves and protect our mental health as as much as possible. So to answer is diet culture, our diets, cults? Well, yeah. Yeah. And that's not taking it, you know, I'm not be it's not hyperbole in it like, yeah, yeah. And they're dangerous. And just because they're not the way that we view cults in a traditional type stereotypical way of what we view calls, there's still so many behaviors and ways that you are controlled with diets that a very, very closely resemble what it is to be a cult. So if you want to get all the links for everything that I've shared, go to the show notes, which is first fatti.com forward slash 041. Or you can probably just scroll down and whatever device you're listening to, and see the show notes there. And make sure that if you are requesting to join first fatti friends, my Facebook Facebook group, that you answer those questions, so that you're not going to be deleted at the door. And if you're if you've previously tried to get in and you've not got in, then request again and answer the questions so that you can we can make sure that you're a real human being and not a diet culture robot. Let me know I like that. Wait, I love that. So, okay, so thanks for hanging out with me today. I appreciate it. If you enjoyed this episode, why not leave me a review. And if you leave me a nice juicy five star review then you can get a free copy of my book Fair's fatty, a digital and Audio Copy if you take a screenshot before you submit your review, and then email me Victoria at first fatty.com and I'll send you free, free digital and audio version of my book. Okay, so thanks for hanging out with me today. I'll see you next time. See you in a while alligator See you later crocodile Okay, bye.