Episode 118 Transcript

Welcome to the Fierce Fatty Podcast. I'm your host, Victoria Welsby and this is episode 118. Today, we're talking about The Limitations of “Body Love”

I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author, and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fierce fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. Society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money, and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the Fierce Fatty Podcast Let's begin.

Hello, fatties and honorary fatties. Welcome to the show. So pleased to have you. I'm so excited today because I'm using an incredible invention. You've probably heard of this invention, but it had escaped my mind that these things existed. And I'm, yeah, so I record the podcast facing the window, right to get light. If I do it facing anywhere else, I don't get enough light. But I've got these lines, you know, like shutter blinds in little crevices, little things of light. And if anyone watches the show on YouTube, they'll watch like little bits of light, sometimes going across my face as the sun goes across the sky, and it's really fucking annoying. And I've been racking my brain thinking about what can I do to make it so that there aren't any line lines? Can I get another set of blinds that go over these blinds in the areas that the there are cracks because my window is so huge, it's like three separate blinds. And last week, I put up a towel over them. And it suddenly dawned on me, I've lived in this place for a year, it suddenly dawned on me that there is something called curtains that I could buy. Why Why? Why is no one told me about this magical thing called curtains, which I already have in my apartment in my bedroom, obviously. And it solved the problem. So I went to IKEA got some curtains. And now I don't have like shit in my brain annoying me making me sad. So yay. So if anyone out there thank Yes, you're welcome. For my incredible invention that I've I'm telling the world about spreading the news about curtains. Great device for stopping light getting into your apartment when you're recording a podcast. Yeah, dreams do come true. Anyway, so today's podcast, we're talking about the limitations of body love. And a lot of what about I want to talk I talk a lot about fat politics, right? And also body love. And I realize there's a big gap in regards to the words I'm using. And maybe sometimes what I'm meaning, and I think, longtime, longtime listeners of the show, no, but I think I really need to be explicit about what I'm saying when I use a word like body love, body acceptance, all that type of stuff. What I actually mean and also the limitations on the concept of body love. So let's talk about that. Now. First, I want to give you a kind of an overview of my morning as someone who doesn't hate their body. Or someone who loves their body or someone who's neutral their body. That's me, right? However you want to say it, someone who doesn't hate their body. So you can see what it's like. And is it is it this basically, me spending the first five hours of my day just stare in the mirror being like oh my god noise so good. Which is obviously what I do every single day. Not on Fridays because I'm busy being fabulous on Fridays, but is it like that or is it something else? So I thought I just give you kind of a little overview of my morning just waking up been walking doodle. So you can see the kind of thoughts that might go through my head not might have gone through my head. And so I have many, many hundreds of thoughts. I know, it's weird to think like that, that I have thoughts going through this gorgeous head of mine. But I do so just FYI, you know,

Unknown Speaker 5:17

in between these sorts I'm having there's also thoughts about oh, you know, isn't it nice to have a pool or oh, what's on Netflix tonight, and oh, you know, whatever. So it's not a kind of stream of consciousness of me being like, only think about my body or not thinking about my body. Okay, so I woke up, my first thought was all that I had in my sleep. And I felt rested. I went to sleep at nine o'clock last night, which is not like me, I normally go to bed at midnight. So once I had my sleep, I had a shower. And notice my body. In regards to I noticed that my allergic reaction, I'm having an allergic reaction to something over the last few months. And we don't know what it is. But here takes a medicine to reduce the symptoms. So I'm having an allergic reaction to something, and it causes hives on my bodies. And so I had a thought of I felt frustrated about this, I don't care what the hives look like on my skin, but more so that they are itchy. I guess I care, I care moderate amount, right. So that's the thought that I had in my mouth about Molly had a shower. And then when I got out of the shower, I looked at my naked body in the bathroom mirror as I tried myself. And the only thing that I noticed was where the water was on my body and where I needed to put the towel to dry my body. I literally I didn't have any thoughts about my appearance or what my body looked like just oh, there's water on my shoulders, I should put the towel around my shoulders, that type of thing. Next, I picked up my clothes according to my mood, and I felt like I wanted to feel comfortable and also kind of grungy or rocky or you know, so I chose a low support tank tops tight bra. And a rock t shirt isn't a rock t shirt. It's got a picture of a growling cheater on it. Anyway. Yes. And then I noticed that my breasts were lower than normal. Because I'm not you know, I'm wearing like a bra that's basically not not a bra. I just noticed that and then I thought Fuck it, I want comfort today versus putting on a higher support bra. Next, I saw my hair that was all over the place. And I felt a sense of gender dysphoria. And that was around kind of keeping my hair short and deciding to grow it out and I feel like I want to grow out my hair but then But then gender dysphoria stuff is coming up. So I put in some dry shampoo took about 20 seconds to use up my hair and then I felt better about my hair. I put on some new glasses that I got even though I'm sure I'm not sure if I like them yet because they're a different shape to normal. But I thought to myself no wear them because you need to get used to the different shape and maybe that's why you're not sure if you'd like them or not. Then so Yes, yesterday I got a delivery from Elqui I haven't ordered from eliquid for like three or four years because in Canada you have to pay you have to pay $20 shipping. Last week I'd spoke about shipping problems today. It would have been 20 us shipping so that's like 25 Plus Canadian but then they had this sale where like because I've been looking for some boots and they had some sell where they had these black boots on like for cheaper than I could have gotten them in Canada and I got some other sale things anyway. So I had an order from aliqua which contained like a co boots, jeans top. Anyway so I put on put my new jeans but on my new boots and I thought I didn't like the way the jeans looked on my stomach because they kind of like rolled down when I bent over to do the the my boots and so I adjusted my jeans felt good. I was like yeah, they look good. But on the new eliquid coat and looked in the mirror and I thought Oh you look so cool and put together that was my thought. So we went walking Dougie and I and my boots are rubbing on the back of my heel and I had a quick thought of your feet are too big. So I have size 10 feet, which often is the highest shoe size in women's shoes. I started seeing a lot more size elevens but anyway, I've always had like in my head or your feet are too big. If you had smaller feet. Men will find you more attractive. These are my like deep, dark, deep dark thoughts that you know that I rarely notice, but then I kind of will, will talk to myself about and be like, you know, what's going on here? Yeah, so my, my, my, my boots were rubbing my heel and and my first thought was your feet are too big and then I changed it to the shoes of the issue not me.

Unknown Speaker 10:18

Continuing walking when I saw people looking at me, my thoughts were neutral. So when people looked at me, they're just observing another human, they're not thinking anything. They're probably thinking, you know, what's my day look like? Blah, blah, whatever. Oh, I thought that they were thinking that I look good. So whenever I saw people looking at me, I just thought, whatever. And also, thank you. Yeah, I did look good. Although they didn't say anything to me, right? I'm just interpreting that thoughts of neutral or I look good. And then the last thought that I thought about before going in with Dougie to give him his breakfast was thinking about the guy who asked me on a date last night. So there was a guy on from OKCupid, who asked me on a day, he was like, it would be my honor to take you on a date. And I was like, yes, it would be, Your Honor. So as think about thinking about that guy, he's three centimeters taller than me. So he's, I'm five, seven, so he's probably five, eight. And I was predicting that he will be surprised by my size, about how big I am. And think I'm too big. And I felt like, I think that that is going to be his reaction, but not thinking of that making is a bad thing for me. Just thinking about his experiences and thinking, Oh, well, if he is the type of guy that I think he is, because he seems very forward thinking and kind, then he'll just notice my body. And then think whatever. You know, and I did have that. Yeah, he'll think it's too big. But, you know, and so that was kind of a negative, like a well, I guess, a fear, a fear. Because often if if someone I find out someone is significantly taller, I don't tend to have that fear. And I, yeah, see, you know, the stuff coming up that I don't even, you know, you start to dig into your thoughts. And you're like, oh, and because most of these things are kind of very fleeting things. And so for me, it's not a big deal. It's not like, I'm not going to go on the date, because I'm scared that he's going to think that I'm too fat. And if he does think I'm too fat for his liking, then whatever, you know, I think, Oh, that's a shame for him that he gets to, he's losing out on the chance to, to see me and be with me, because I'm a hugger. Boom. Yeah, so basically, that was me racking my brain for the thoughts that I had. And most of it, you know, when something negative came up, it was kind of quickly squashed by my brain. And it's not like I'm here having a conversation like this, this this, it's almost like my brain is kind of going into kind of an automatic, giving myself compassion type of thing. Which is, which is nice. Whereas before, I would probably, you know, got out the shower, looked on my body and being like, Oh, my God, and picked out clothes according to how to hide my body and thought that people looking at me, were thinking that I was frightful. And, you know, we're really, really nervous about the date with this guy, blah, blah, blah. So it's, it's, it's pretty much you know, not thinking about your body. Really say if, before I think about my body, like 100 out of 100. Now, I probably think think about my body like 10. And most of that is kind of just observational. Yeah, so just like her kind of like an overview there. You know, there wasn't any, like flying unicorns or amazing things that happened, because I don't hate my body. But life is easier. Right? Life is easier. So let's move on to talking about the limitations of the concept of loving your body and I am guilty in this regard of using the phrase loving your body as kind of like a shorthand of the concept that I'm trying to get across. And the concept I'm going to try and get across is literally just what I was talking about in you know, the morning of me, which is feeling piece with your body or just not thinking about it much or just not having a big amount of tension. You know? Like, if you could say, you know, what

Unknown Speaker 15:10

are the tensions in your lives? What are the things that are bothering you? My, what I think about my body would be like, not on the list. Right? So when I say, loving your body, really what I mean is just not thinking about your body that much, though, maybe I should I should stop using that phrase, because I don't want people to get confused about I don't want exactly what we're going to talk about the limitations to this is I don't want I don't want, yeah, I don't want there's literally no, this is the I don't want I want people to you know, I want to be able to communicate effectively, is what I stumbled across to that I want to be able to communicate effectively. Okay, so I don't think it's realistic to expect that you can go from go from decades of hating your body to waking up seeing yourself in the mirror and making out all your reflection. Like, I see people getting frustrated, because it's because they say oh, you know, I've read like three books, and I've listened to like podcast episodes. And, and I don't, I don't I don't love myself yet. And you know, what the heck, you know, I've done everything and, and I'm like, How long have you not like yourself? And they'll be like, you know, four decades, five decades, three decades, seven decades, you know, whatever. And so I'm like, Well, how can seven minutes of you know listening to a podcast, suddenly make you be like, Oh, my God, I'm so amazing. You know, it's not realistic. And I think you know, it's a natural thing. We're humans, we want this instant sound of satisfaction of, of having a big change. But it's more kind of like a slowly, slowly thing. And it's not going to be I've never made out of myself in the mirror. You know, I know it's shocking, but I have never made out with myself in the mirror because I don't hate myself. And the reality is kind of just a little bit more quiet. You know, I do think it's realistic for you to begin to lose that tension. That tension to not be there of constantly having to think about your body that I think that is realistic. Here's the big issue though. accepting your body does not mean that the world will not still be fat phobic. Doesn't matter what you think about your body, the world is still going to be fat phobic. And you will not experience less marginalization because you think that your body's Okay. In fact, I feel like it can expose you to more bullshit because now you're more educated on what weight stigma is, you begin to notice it everywhere. And I feel like I've been more exposed since learning about this stuff. And sometimes I think I wish I could go back to the, quote, good days where I didn't pick up on this stuff. I think I mean, it's an inevitable as we all learn and grow right there, we'll start to see things that we couldn't see before. And so in some ways, especially as a fat activist, especially as someone who's doing this for their job, I am exposed more to to marginalization. And if you're doing this work in your life, then you are probably going to be exposed to more marginalization, because you're probably going to start talking to your friends and family about it. And you're gonna come up come up a grant against them saying all sorts of bullshit probably. And wherever that'd be, you know, friends or family or people on the internet, or old high school friends, or whatever it is. Whereas before it's, like, safer to just be a fat person who's dieting, you know, a fat person who is who knows, quotes, you know, knows they're a bad fat person and they need to lose weight. Sometimes that's just a lot safer. So coming out as a fat person saying, I'm fat, and, you know, this is me, that can be really scary. Very, very difficult and not possible for a lot of people. So the difference is, though, that the difference now that I'm not hating myself is that I tend to not internalize fat phobia. Versus before I would think, yeah, you're right. You know, when, when the doctor was like, you need to lose weight because you've got an ear infection or you know, whatever. And I would be like, yes, and I'd soak all of that in whereas now

Unknown Speaker 20:01

I feel like I have a mirror in the middle of my chest. And that shame that the world is trying to direct towards me, is reflected back at them where it belongs. Because they're, you know, that shame, you know that shame and hatred of fatphobia it's been directed to fat people. And before I would just, you know, soak it in like a sunbeam and be like, yes, you're absolutely right, I am a piece of shit because I'm fat. Now, not so much. And of course, some of it slips by not, not all of it is hitting that mirror on my chest. Some of it is soaking into my skin. And I'm, you know, I'm still absorbing that stuff. But there is that mirror protection where I say, you know, I'm like, I don't deserve this. I don't because I'm worthy, no matter my body size. So, I do think it's incredibly important to try and shift the way that you view yourself. If it's something that's important for you, if it's something that's very distressing for you in your life, if you think about it a lot. And I do think it's possible to make those changes to the way that you view fatness in regards to education around what fatness means, but I don't think that doing that is going to change the experience of existing in a fat phobic world, or that much, but it will make it a little easier. You know? In some ways, some ways, in some ways, because then exactly like what I just said, you start noticing it everywhere. And then you'll be like for fuck sake, why? I want to go back to where I didn't know is that every motherfucker, every boundary is that Vivek and indict culture and all that type of bullshit. Yeah, so fun times, fun times, fun times. But here's an example. Here's an example. Okay, so let's let's think of an example is you are a bridesmaid or a non gendered. What would that be? So we've got bridesmaid, we've got groomsmen wedding party, you're part of the wedding party, at your sister's wedding, for example. So you'll go shopping, and go to a dress shop to find, you know, dress, dress, dress clothes for all of the wedding party, and the shop doesn't carry your size. So if you agree with your art with the idea that your body is wrong, and that fatness is bad, then in that situation, you're probably going to feel a total shame, embarrassment. I personally would want to move into secrecy and be like, oh, yeah, no, it's, yeah, the dress is fitting, I just, I just don't want to come out and show you and then I do, you know, maybe go and find someone that could alter it to make it bigger, or, you know, that's what I would probably do is I'd like secrecy and shame for this terrible thing that I had done by having this bad body, it would be a huge blow, right? It would be it'll be kind of like a core memory, potentially. So if you've been working on adopting more self compassion, then you would probably still feel frustrated and disappointed and sad. Perhaps some of those other emotions I mentioned before, but maybe not to the same degree, you would be able to see the injustice of the situation and feel angry that the store doesn't carry clothes for more human beings. Versus being like, Oh, I'm, I'm to blame. It's my fault. You'll be able to hold that mirror up and direct the shame where it should be, which is the fat phobic world. Right. So, you know, it can it can help a lot. But then you get in, you know, in that situation to be like, fuckin angry and like, Why did my sister not know that this store doesn't carry my size and learned it? But you know, I think I'd rather I would rather be angry and frustrated at these situations versus having shame eat me up from the inside. That's my, my personal preference. Yeah, because shame isn't my favorite is not my favorite, you know?

Unknown Speaker 24:20

Okay, so working on self acceptance and self compassion doesn't shop stop shit situations from happening, but it can make it easier to navigate. Also, I think you're more likely to engage in fat activism, which will help change the world if you truly believe that your body is worthy and deserving of respect and that type of stuff. The more fat people who don't agree with the assessment that they should disappear, the better the world is, you know? So I think it's not that we need the world to be filled with people who were like, oh my god, I'm the swaggins sex machine. Oh, Everybody look at me, which is not what body love really is. I think body love is more quiet and it's more accepting. And it's more tender. It's more. Yeah, loving and that type of thing, which and I think if we had, if we all had more self compassion, I think lots of different things would be better in the world is my opinion. So I want to talk about another limitation, which is accepting a body that is disabled or chronically ill is complicated. And saying, just love yourself is not useful advice when your body is not doing the things that you want it to do. If your body is let you down, then telling someone to have a cheery disposition around their body is gaslighting them. And I actually go in depth on this, this talking about you know, disability and chronic illness, and having a fat body in Episode 93. To get to Episode 93. Quickly, you can go to first fatty.com Ford slash 093. And to listen to the episode if you if you want to know more about that. Yes, so the other issue with the concept of body love is toxic positivity or toxic body positivity. So Wikipedia says what toxic public positivity is, is a dysfunctional approach to emotional management that happens when people do not fully acknowledge negative emotions, particularly anger, and sadness. If we don't allow ourselves to feel mad and angry, and all the other incredible emotions that we can feel, then we are just expecting ourselves to not be human. And you're not a bad person, or failed fats liberationist If you don't like your body, you know. And it's important to explore that, you know, if your body is let you down, if your body has, if you're fed up, then it's important to explore that versus being you know, me, me this morning being like, ah, you know, these hives, they're itchy, and they're annoying, and I don't like it. And when instead of you know brushing brushing over with oh, look, you've got skin, you're lucky that you're alive. Yes, that's true. I'm lucky that I'm alive. And I've got skin in that editor. But also holding space for that sucks. That sucks. I shouldn't have to be dealing with this new health condition. On top of all the other ones that I have. It's fucking annoying, you know. And so exploring that is also important. And not having gratitude for your body, I think as well is important. If you're not feeling it, sometimes you do feel it right. But not forcing yourself to have gratitude for something that you don't have gratitude for. Right? Yeah, so the charm of just love yourself can come across as super problematic for many people. And the concept that that looks like thinking that your body is super, super attractive, still relies on what your body looks like and is not just thinking about yourself. So just love yourself can come across as your beautiful, embrace the idea that you're beautiful. Well, how about we embrace the idea that it doesn't matter if you are beautiful or not? You know, you still you still are a worthy human being. And so it's still focusing on looks of your you're wrong in the way that you perceive your beauty.

Unknown Speaker 29:16

You know, what if what if you do just want to be like, You know what, I'm fucking ugly. I'm ugly as shit, but I still am worthy and deserve love and compassion, all of the good stuff that beautiful people get, you know. And often the concept of loving yourself comes from people who are conventionally attractive, so thin, young, able bodied, cisgender people. And they'll say things like, I've learned to love myself, so you can too and it's kind of like, of course you fucking did. Everyone agrees with the assessment that your body is beautiful. And this is something this is something that I'm sure juggling with I'm struggling with having a lack of patience for people who are clearly straight size and attractive, saying I'm ugly, I'm ugly. And I understand that I understand that something, you know, their, their perception of their body is, is it's not based on in reality, right. And at the moment, I'm kind of struggling with that, almost like I want it to be. I want it to them to have more self awareness to say, I'm struggling with the way my body looks, even though I know that I have a normative conventionally attractive body, you know, is that that's where I want people. That's where I want us to be because I don't think it's appropriate, especially for someone if they're saying it to a fat person, especially someone who's not paid to help them with with this. Then that's off how many fat people have got the story of a thin, conventionally attractive friend being like, I'm so fat and ugly, and the fat person having to comfort them and be like, No, you're not fat. No, you're beautiful. That's so fucking offensive to the fat people. Because, clearly, Hello, you are not your you, the world heralds your body. So having that self awareness of I'm struggling with seeing the reality of what I look like right now. I feel like I'm not attractive. But I know, theoretically, that I am because I'm thin. I'm white. I'm, I'm young. I'm able bodied. I'm, you know, conventionally attractive, according to all of these systems of oppression. I think that's what we where we need to be. That's where we need to be. Yeah. And I want to I want it to be taboo for conventionally attractive people to seek reassurance from fat and ugly people. And people who are not seen as having the body type that society worships, you know, like, oh, shit, you didn't just go and complain about being unattractive to someone who, whose body is told that they're unattractive like that? That ain't cool. I don't think that's cool. That's not cool anymore. Is it? It's not cool anymore. No. Sorry. If you can hear in the background, there is a truck right outside my window loading pallet loading pallets. I hoped that they might be done soon, but apparently there's about 15 million pallets that need to be thrown onto the back of his truck. So I'm sorry if that's really annoying to hear. And maybe you can't even hear it. Who knows? But yeah, no. Okay. So, toxic body positivity also negates to recognize the complex issues that each individual is faced with is way easier for me to accept myself because I'm white. I don't have to live in a world where I'm subjected to violence and murder, everything else that comes with racism, due to the lack of melanin I have, I don't have to be reminded every day that the world isn't accessible for me because I'm not in a wheelchair, I don't have to feel the pain of being rejected from job opportunities due to not due to looking to trans, etc, etc, etc. So it's easier for me and folks like me who have less marginalized identities to scream, love yourself from the top of you know, from rooftops? Well, because I have less instances in my life where the world is like, You're not welcome. We want you to die.

Unknown Speaker 34:03

And it's kind of like, well, yeah, I'll love myself when when people stop trying to murder me. You know, if you have different marginalization, and invisible wasn't, marginalization is you know, like, me being you know, I'm trans non binary, but walking down the street, people perceive me as a woman, you know? And yeah, like, maybe when I had a shaved head, people might be like, Okay, maybe something's going on. But people who are more visibly trans are going to have different experiences than I would have as being trans non binary, right? So, it is easier for me to make that change. Because, you know, say if I walk out and people are like, You're fat, you're horrible. I don't have all these other things because I'm white, you know, and all of the other privileges that I hold, also using toxic positive As a stick to beat yourself with, like you're failing because you don't love yourself in a world that tells us our bodies are wrong 365 days a year, we have a constant battle to contend with. And a lot of times those other forces will win out. So it's not like you're failing because you're not, you know, you don't feel like Kim Kardashian when you wake up. I mean, Kim Kardashian probably doesn't even feel like Kim Kardashian, when she wakes up, you know, just surviving Holy shit, especially now, just surviving, is incredible. And anything else on top is just remarkable and beautiful, and all those types of things. And so I really don't want people to be, you know, using body love as a, oh, I failed at something else, you know? No, you know, nerdy nerdy cat. So let's wrap it up the limitations of body love. So it's super easy for thin white young body positive influence or to declare love your body, I did. But we are missing some really important nuance, with the idea of body love being the answer to happiness and easy for people to obtain. So we need to be clear that when we talk about body love, what many people mean, is just not thinking about their body, it's, it's more body neutrality. And the flippant use of body love can set up unrealistic standards. The concept of body love can also be used as a stick to beat yourself with the idea that you're failing because you're not spending 12 hours a day with love heart, eyes, staring at a mirror, looking at your reflection, because that's not realistic, right? Even people who don't hate their body, they're just not thinking about it. And if you're not at that place, and you are in a kind of struggling with really, really not liking your body or Hating Your Body, it doesn't mean you failed, it doesn't mean that you're bad fats liberationist It's just what it is. And it's to be expected. And if you do accept your body, that does not mean the world will suddenly stop treating you like shit. If you're fat, especially if you have other marginalized identities, it doesn't mean that it might be easier for you to navigate those situations because you can be able to direct that shame. outwards back to the perpetrator, or systems of oppression, versus agreeing with fat phobic beliefs and agitations. But not always, though, body acceptance doesn't mean that you're immune from shame, and stigma. The cry of just love yourself, also denies the very real lived realities of those who are disabled, or have chronic conditions, people of color, trans people, queer folks, etc, who are fat, who not only have to deal with the world telling them that their fat body is bad, but they also have to deal with the violence and murder due to other modernisations that they hold. So the idea of body love or the agitation to love your body can ring hollow, and be really problematic for many people because of that. So what are you thinking? What do you say? What are you thinking? What's your brain thinking? Hey, and thank you to anyone who donates to the podcast. I really appreciate it.

Unknown Speaker 38:52

I'll get random Pay Pal notifications with a nice little messages from people. And that's written that really brightens my days because sometimes I think, oh, is anyone is anyone listening? My mom doesn't even listen now rude. And of course, people listen, right? I don't actually look at the stats, because my VA uploads things. So you know. But I know people listen, I know. I know people do. Listen, he imagined if I hadn't looked at the standard looked at the stats in a good few months. And I went and looked and it was like, oh, turns out no one's listening anymore. Oh. Imagine No, there's not it's not true. It's not true, because people will send me paid to have a bow. So someone's visiting. So thank you for thank you for those. If you ever have a question that you want me to answer on the show, please send me a message go to the podcast page facebook.com forward slash podcast or the episode number which is 118. And there'll be a button right there to submit a question. And I could answer on the show. Yeah, that's All right, well have a wonderful rest of your day. I hope you are having a fierce fatty day and we'll see you in the next episode. See you in a while alligator Good boy thanks for the listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fears fattier Academy which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic beliefs and learn to love your fat body, then go to first party.com forward slash waitlist again that is phase fatty.com. Forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens