Episode 49 Transcript

You're listening to The Fierce Fatty Podcast. I'm your host Victoria Welsby. This is episode 49. And the title of it is, “You can love your body and be healthy without losing weight.” Let's do it.

I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author, and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident Fierce Fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. Society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money, and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the Fierce Fatty podcast Let's begin.

Unknown Speaker 1:27

Welcome, welcome. Hello, hello. Are you right? I'm alright. You're it? You're good. You're right. Good. You're right. Good, good. Good. That's something something I had to stop saying when I moved to Canada. Was there a greeting of your eye? Because Canadian since I was in in the UK, you say you're right. And then that you the answer is yes, you're right. You're right. And you say yeah, I'm right. So you say you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right.

Unknown Speaker 1:57

Because Canadians would always think that I was saying, What's wrong with you? Like, are you okay?

Unknown Speaker 2:04

Like, that was what set what a lot of Acadian Canadian thought I was saying, like, are you okay? And so when I realized you're right, they were like, yeah, why? I'm fine.

Unknown Speaker 2:16

So does that stop saying you're right, but I would say to you now you understand what I'm saying? Nope, you're right, because I'm alright. It's Monday today that I'm recording the podcast and

Unknown Speaker 2:29

very dramatic times over the weekend. I'll tell you Well, I'm minding my own business on a Saturday night just watching some some shrill Do you know what I know? I'm about I'm a bad fatty I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I

Unknown Speaker 2:44

didn't have access to any of the channels in Canada to watch shrill and in Ireland didn't either but anyway, now I've worked out how to illegally tell them I'm sorry. illegally download it and I've started watching shrill, fucking amazing if you've not watched it already, it's based inspired by

Unknown Speaker 3:08

Lindy West's book, shrill, which is really good. You should go read it. And go listen to it. She was on This American Life which is you know, big major podcast where she in real life talks to this man who trolled her for years and trolled her in the most vile ways. And he she talks to him and finds out what the fuck is wrong with your with you? Why are you doing this? Anyway, it's really interesting. And watch trail is really good. It's really good. Anyway, so I'm there watching trail. Here, bang on the window and little birdies fallen, got into the window, a little buddies hit the window. And this happens quite often, unfortunately, I'm gonna get some stickers for the window. And I went out and the little birdie was kind of wobbling around a little bit concussed so I took it in and put it in a box, put a blanket in, put a towel over the box, just let the birdie get better. And then with an hour, we're going in our birdie was feeling better. So I managed to release birdie out into the wild. It's amazing. But anyway,

Unknown Speaker 4:20

I had a realization I had a realization about a way in which I was have been being a good, fatty and not realized it. So because it was a weekend. You know, I was thinking about, you know, what I was doing and stuff. I work from home. I have worked from home for five, five question mark years now. And, you know, a lot of times people say about working from home. It's like, Oh, it's great because you can just like wear your sweatpants

Unknown Speaker 5:00

And, and you can just, you know, wear your pajamas and you didn't have to brush your hair. And you don't have to do you know, you can just schlep around the house and all that type of stuff. And never,

Unknown Speaker 5:14

probably not never probably I've done this before, maybe I'm sick, but I never go downstairs. I never start my day without getting dressed, having a shower, doing my hair, all that type of shit. Maybe Monday makes sense. I won't sometimes I do my hair, like if I need to wash it, or whether I'm gonna put it in a

Unknown Speaker 5:33

bad hair band or whatever. But I like I never will go downstairs wearing pajamas, or spend the day in sweating pants, or some sort of comfortable, super comfortable thing or, you know, workout clothes or anything like that. I always get dressed. And I was thinking, Hmm, why do I do that? Was like, do I just like it? What is that? So I was thinking about it. And I think about this weekend and I was like, You know what, the reason why I always get dressed and go down and have breakfast and start my day. Like I don't go down in my pajamas, make breakfast and then work in my pajamas all day or, or not have a shower or maybe go up later and put clothes on or whatever

Unknown Speaker 6:25

is that I don't want anyone to see me in the state of being in a fat body and not being presentable in a fat body and being seen as quote unquote lazy because I am in pajamas in our house.

Unknown Speaker 6:49

Never. I only thought about like, why do I do this? And then I was like, it's because I don't want someone you know, a relative. Someone I don't know, to look in through the window and see.

Unknown Speaker 7:05

Look at her. She's fat. And she's so lazy, that she can't even be bothered to get dressed or she's so slobby look at her in her

Unknown Speaker 7:17

pristine pajamas or whatever.

Unknown Speaker 7:20

Not that I piece in my pajamas regularly.

Unknown Speaker 7:25

I do been doing it because I don't want people to associate me being slovenly, which is not that doesn't make you slovenly wearing pajamas and it doesn't you know, my family do it. So when my my sister and her partner and the children come to stay in the morning, they come down whatever they're wearing. And my sister's hair is like all over the place. And literally it's like matted in the back, you know, makeup everywhere. Looks like she's been dragged through a hedge. And every morning I'll come down completely dressed and, you know, ready for the day. And it's all because I don't want to be seen as I want to be seen as a good, Fatty, a productive member of society. Ready for the day. I don't lay around in my pajamas because I'm not that type of person. I'm not one of those bad fatties. And that is fucked up. That is my fat phobia that I haven't examined. I haven't thought about like, how would I judge a fat person if they were in? You know, relaxed clothes at home?

Unknown Speaker 8:35

I don't I don't think so. But it just still fatphobia because I'm judging myself. I don't judge like others. If they work from home they say oh yeah, I can wear my my slippers and pajamas and stuff like that. I'm like, fuck yeah, Do it amazing. But I don't have that same standard for myself, which is bizarre.

Unknown Speaker 8:55

And actually, my sister was visiting and she came up into my office and she was going to ask me something. And I happened to have my I had bought this new pair of jeans and the belt. My belt because I wear belts my belt was like digging into my tummy in an uncomfortable way and I had undone my my button and unzipped my trousers and she came in and for a second I thought oh she's thinking look a Victoria, just

Unknown Speaker 9:25

hanging around with a trousers undone with a jeans and buttons and zipped because she's so fat. Like I had a split second thought and she wasn't thinking that she was just come to ask me a question. She, you know, she really didn't think anything she probably even notice and even she she did. She wouldn't have cared you know, she's not that type of person.

Unknown Speaker 9:46

And so it's interesting, isn't it? See how I tell you this is this is a process you examine them and you keep thinking like, why am I doing that? Why am I behaving like that? And it's okay like say if I had to think about it, like why is it that I always get dressed and have a shower

Unknown Speaker 10:00

Wanna get ready for even come downstairs? Oh, it's because I really like it and it makes me happy and it's an it's fun or whatever. And I do like it, you know, obviously, I like there's lots of things I like about it because I do it but thinking about it, and I was like, Oh, I have got some uncomfortable feelings here. And I've been doing this for years and years and years and, and there are going to be so many more ways that I have fat phobic beliefs in my life that I have yet to discover, because I have yet to examine it, or think about it, and that's fine. You know, it's like, it's like a slow process sometimes.

Unknown Speaker 10:36

Especially when you're in the stage where you, you you pretty good with, you've done a lot of examining.

Unknown Speaker 10:43

So anyway, so this weekend, I thought, No fucking way. And I

Unknown Speaker 10:50

have a pair of sweating pants.

Unknown Speaker 10:52

And I wore them

Unknown Speaker 10:55

most of Saturday, because then I went out and I put something else on. And then I went for a walk in. Admittedly, it was a really nice set of

Unknown Speaker 11:08

like, purple sweatpants, joggers, whatever you call him with a purple crop top that matches in his like, you know, sports material. And it's it's pretty cool, but it's still kind of casual and sweat pants. And I went out and walked the walk the dogs with them. And so I was like, yeah, look at me, embracing you know, but I definitely wouldn't have you know, people wouldn't be like, Oh, you rolled out of bed. And the thing is, it's a double standard because if a straight size person if they've got like a messy burn, and they've got like an oversized hoodie, and they'll they've got you know, flip flops on with their with their sweatpants. People are just like, oh, yeah, they're just relaxed and casual. But if a fat person does it, then they're a swag, right? So I am going to be pushing back on these ideas that I've clearly internalized and not realized it so yeah, I'm going to I'm going to keep embracing that. Sweating trouser Victoria. Switching trails in Victoria is going to come out more and more. And yeah, I'm gonna wear like fucking leggings and shit. Yeah, leggings. Amazing.

Unknown Speaker 12:21

Something else happened this

Unknown Speaker 12:25

this weekend. And I thought you know what, I need to tell you all I need to tell you all. I don't know if you're like me, but you know what I love. I fucking love you when when strangers have arguments on the internet on like Facebook or whatever. Reading or reading like, you know, 2500 messages between them and the threads and shit. So if you like that, then you're going to like this.

Unknown Speaker 12:50

So I shared a

Unknown Speaker 12:54

a thing on my Facebook page. I share lots of things all the time, if not following already on Facebook, Facebook, so you can follow me.

Unknown Speaker 13:02

I shared a an article

Unknown Speaker 13:06

that says Trump, Trump said Americans who died in the war are losers and suckers, because of course, he said that because he's a piece of shit. Anyway, I posted lots of anti Trump stuff, and lots of good engaging pro diversity content. Anyway, someone commented saying in response to the to the article, I highly doubt that was said,

Unknown Speaker 13:38

Now, I don't tend to attract right wing people. So I thought, What the fuck is going on? Yeah, so the article was, Trump said Americans who died in the war are quote unquote, losers and suckers. Anyway, so this person said I highly doubt that was said and someone else said, but it was lol. Anyway, and then I said, WTF are you a Trump supporter? Question mark, question mark. And then this person that's cooler.

Unknown Speaker 14:08

Kathy, Kathy said 100% and from a military family that are also 100% Donald 100% President Trump supporters, and I said cafe you should be ashamed of yourself. Kindly. Get the fuck off my page. I don't allow big loud bigots hear.

Unknown Speaker 14:31

Kathy said, capitals. Wow. Fuck you. I am not a bigot. Just not a I'm not going to. I'm not going to say the word that she said because it is a slur. An ableist slur.

Unknown Speaker 14:47

The R word. I'm not going to say it. I'm not just a slur ablest swear. I thought your page was about empowering women. I guess I was wrong. I will gladly leave your

Unknown Speaker 15:00

Hey do you bitch, capitals?

Unknown Speaker 15:04

Cafe? This is me, Kathy Of course you're not a bigot. You're you're just you just 100% support one cool cool. Yeah, I empower women but not women who wants to, to deny the basic human rights of other people who are not like them. This is a morality issue and you're on the wrong side of it by and then Kathy says, I don't know why it matters to you. I followed you because I liked your energy about body positivity. Obviously, I made a mistake. Toodles I say, Kathy, it matters because supporting someone like that man means that you support bigotry, and body positivity is anti bigotry. You cannot be body positive and also support Trump.

Unknown Speaker 15:57

Then

Unknown Speaker 15:59

Kathy's sister comes in. Let's call her Haley. So Haley says, Ashley is America she can say anything she wants and shaming her because of who she supports. Isn't what you're supposed to be about. Not once did she say that she puts you she supports his actions. There. The there are things about every person that someone is going to not like and not support, but that doesn't give you or anyone else a right to be asshats to them. You claimed not to like bigots? Well, kinda looks like you are. Btw, by the way, you should watch how you talk to people one day, I might bite you in the ass. And then I say, Haley, I hope you're enjoying this. Like, you're like, whatever anyway, and I'm going to explain like my stance behind this as well. I say Haley, of course she can do anything she wants, she can continue to support a bigot. And the consequences is that she isn't welcome here, or other progressive progressive spaces. And shaming bigots is literally what I do.

Unknown Speaker 17:01

And then Haley says, then how are you progressive just by being like people you are fighting against. And I say, saying you won't tolerate bigotry doesn't make you a bigot. Same way, saying racism slash sexism, etc. is wrong doesn't make you a racist or sexist. This is pretty basic stuff here. And then the sister comes in, this is the sister again. And the sister says, All I'm saying is if you want her off her page, when all I'm saying is you want her have a page when you don't actually know the person, she has the biggest heart and will do anything for anyone or to lift them up. She has a big mouth and sometimes doesn't know how to keep keep it quiet. She is strong, loving, supportive, the kind of energy you would want, but because she likes the way he runs the country, not how he treats women. You want her off the page. I mean, it really is your your guys last I was just simply asking a question. And then there's other people in the conversation too, by the way, and I reply, if she really did have a big heart, and would do anything for anyone, then she should do something good for the marginalized members of your country and not support someone who is actively hurting them and killing them. I could not sleep at night, if I for one second thought about supporting someone like Trump, I would be embarrassed with every fiber of my being. Being a good citizen means examining Trump and the way he harms your country. And thinking critically about the negative impact supporting him has on millions of people across the world. And there's lots of back and forth here between other people that I just left it there. You know, lots of people being like, Yes, this is amazing the way that you've handled this. One person was like, How dare you not let Trump supporters be here? I'm leaving, even though I'm not a Trump supporter. And that's fine. And so I shared on my Instagram page, a little bit more clarifying this. This stance that I have that Trump supporters are not welcome. Now. Let me read my kind of my, my thing on on Instagram, just to make my stance, crystal clear. If you're a Trump supporter, you should be deeply ashamed. This isn't a difference of opinion. This is a difference between supporting basic human rights or not. If you do not support the basic human rights of any human then you are not welcome in my community. That includes supporting trans folks, illegal immigrants, Black Lives Matter, etc. You don't get to enjoy my content, get educated for free, have me inspire you, and also support Trump. You are ostracized from my community. I don't want anything to do with you. Please unfollow me if you support Trump, and then I shared twitter feed Yeah. From someone called Gabrielle Blair, and she's

Unknown Speaker 20:00

At design mom and OM, and this really nails down to why I'm not fucking with Trump supporters. I am not.

Unknown Speaker 20:12

Normally previously, in, you know, in the before Trump, before Trump, if someone was voting conservative, then I would be like, you know, come on in, I don't like the way that you vote, but you could get educated by me and I could help you see that being conservative is not in your best interests, or embed the best interest of the people you love, or for the world in general. So, you know, I don't really like what you believe, but come on over now my stance has changed because Trump is extreme. And he is clearly shown not once, not twice, hundreds and 1000s of times that he hates.

Unknown Speaker 21:07

Pretty much everyone who is not a rich old white man, or mere rich old white woman, or someone that He can use and consume, you know, like, like women. And even then who doesn't respect them and, and whatnot. And his actions, his his his single tweets, kill people. So let me read this from Gabrielle Blau. This is really interesting. By the way, so many people have messaged me saying yes, fuck yeah, this is amazing. And I've taken screenshots of this. And I'm showing it to my family. By the way, if you want the screenshots, go on to my Instagram page fierce dot fatti. And the first story there is fuck Trump and it's got all of this in there. So let me read this to you.

Unknown Speaker 21:53

This is this is tweet thread from gab robot. I saw a tweet where someone described that when they found out someone they know personally supports Trump, they lose all respect for them instantly. I liked it and retweeted it, but stopped short of sharing it on Instagram. Why?

Unknown Speaker 22:09

I suppose because I also know Trump supporters in real life, and they already know I hate Trump, and know that I will frequently criticize Trump supporters as a group, but I've hesitated to tell them directly that I've lost respect for them individually.

Unknown Speaker 22:26

But I woke up this morning, read reports of the Final Nights of The RNC group deep root deeply angry and now my hesitation is gone. My Instagram content is different than my Twitter content. On Twitter. I mostly retweet people on Insta. I share more personal stuff, renovations, vacations and updates about my family. I also highlight tweets and political opinions, but it's maybe 20% of my content. They're a frequent DM I receive on Insta. I come here for design and to see your life in France stop posting political stuff. These DMS are without exception from Trump supporters, or people who claim to be independent but will vote for Trump and are ashamed to admit it. My response, I do not create content for you. It makes me sick to my stomach that you are a Trump supporter ever read or watched or listened to anything I've created. This is true even if I know you in real life.

Unknown Speaker 23:27

I see what you're trying to do. You want me to treat you like a decent human being. But you are not behaving like a decent human being a decent person who doesn't align themselves with people who are proudly racist, and and who insist America doesn't have a race problem.

Unknown Speaker 23:45

A decent person doesn't align themselves with someone who believes believes viral right wing stories on Facebook. Over trained journalists over train journalists who think Q is real who think the pandemic is fake who think the earth is flat.

Unknown Speaker 24:03

A decent person doesn't align themselves with people who faint over celebrity child trafficking rings that don't exist, but support the ice family separations at the border that actually lead to child trafficking. A decent person knows what it feels like to do a job and not get paid and recognizes that Trump is first and foremost, a con man, liar and thief. A decent person knows and acknowledges that Trump only looks out for himself. A decent person knows Trump raped a 13 year old has read her description of the rape has read all the other accounts of Trump sexually assaulting girls and women. And never forget Trump is a rapist who has never had to face consequences for his assaults. I see you, especially my fellow white women. You want to read what interesting people are reading you want to see good movies you want to know what the designers and artists are creating. But you don't want anyone to know you're voting for

Unknown Speaker 25:00

Trump you don't like when people you follow talk politics? You say it's because you want to focus on the positive. But really, it's because it reminds you of your shame. You have your trump shame. You want to vote for Trump and experience no negative consequences. But that's not an option. What are the consequences of your actions? I do not respect you. How could I? How could I respect someone who hears about a black man being shot by police seven times in his back? What is getting watched? And the third first thought is, well, we don't know the whole story, another consequence of your actions. I have a deep desire to withhold my community and my creations from you. Instagram has data that could tell me exactly which of you support Trump. I wish they would give me that data. I would block every single one of you. My Instagram followers request access to my daily life voting for Trump, and you want to know the source of my daughter's dress? No. You want to know the pink color we chose for the attic renovation? No, you want to participate in a parenting discussion on design, Mum? No. I want to shun you from my community. If gatherings were safely happening, I want you to be shunned from all events hosted by decent people. No wedding invitations, no conference tickets, no backyard barbecues. I want decent event hosts to send you a card explaining that you are not invited because you are a Trump supporter. I wish IKEA and target wouldn't let you buy their products. I wish your internet provider who for sure knows you vote for Trump would cut you off as a customer. I want to see you shunned by every person and organization that doesn't support Trump. No more access to their books, movies, products, music, events, artists and influences till you are left with nothing but Smash Mouth concerts. And Ben Shapiro talking about his sex life. Some of you will tell me you have no choice that you're a single issue voter and that your single issue is abortion. So you can only vote for an anti abortion candidate. And I respond to that. The Republicans are making a fool of you. We all know Republicans talk big about being anti abortion but their policies don't reduce abortions. Republican policies increase things like teen pregnancy, which also increases abortions. The fact is abortion numbers go down under the policies of Democrats. If you want to reduce abortion, the most effective proven way to do that is to vote for Democrats. If the most important issue to you is reducing abortions, and the only choice for you have is voting for Democrats up and down the ballot.

Unknown Speaker 27:42

Some of you will tell me you support Trump because of the stock market. Well, that is certainly something a selfless, selfish asshole would do. A whopping 90% of Americans have no stake in the stock market. I'm one of them.

Unknown Speaker 27:55

If you want existing and newly created wealth to continue to be concentrated in the top 10%. If you don't think employers should, should provide a living wage. If you think holding a billion dollars is ethical. If you don't want to tax the rich, then I don't make content for you.

Unknown Speaker 28:16

I create content and community for decent people. We do we agree on everything. No, we may debate how to educate kids or disagree on baby names favorite books, or suburban versus versus urban versus country live living. But I won't make space for you to debate the merits of white supremacy. You want respect but your behavior and beliefs are not worthy of respect. You don't want to be shamed or mocked for supporting Trump. But you align yourself with people who want to, quote, make liberal snowflakes cry, and who mock anyone who wears a pandemic mask.

Unknown Speaker 28:55

Do you think I care about losing you as a follower? I do not. Not one bit. I will actively block you on Instagram. If I know you're a Trump supporter. You unfollowing me doesn't hurt me in any way. I literally in the truest sense of that sense of the word. won't notice that you're gone.

Unknown Speaker 29:11

You can't support Trump but also be a decent human being. You can't support Trump and earn my respect. Want to be a decent person? Don't want to worry about being shunned. You're in luck. The solution is free and easy. Stop being a Trump supporter. Don't vote for Trump.

Unknown Speaker 29:31

Yes, so

Unknown Speaker 29:33

that was pretty it was pretty good. It was long. Gabrielle Blair at design mom mo M. Design mom.

Unknown Speaker 29:40

Unknown Speaker 29:43

in essence,

Unknown Speaker 29:46

this is for me, this is not you know, just some political debate is this is my job right? This is my job. This is what I do. This is my life's calling. Is to

Unknown Speaker 29:59

end

Unknown Speaker 30:00

Vate marginalized voices. And Trump is the antithesis of that.

Unknown Speaker 30:09

Trump wants to elevate

Unknown Speaker 30:14

people who are already at the top of the tree. He wants to kill those who are not.

Unknown Speaker 30:23

He is if I believed in God, the epitome of evil, right? And Trump is a man.

Unknown Speaker 30:33

This ideology that he has, is didn't start with him. It has been perpetuated by him. And it was around before him, of course. And if he goes say, if he he died tomorrow and Pence was in charge, it would probably be even worse, because Trump is very unintelligent, but Pence is probably, you know, even more evil, but has a little bit more intelligence about him. So this, you know, voting for him, even in his you know, you when you think it's funny, or if you think, Oh, we know what he's, you know, he's brash, he says it as it is, and things like that. If you have anyone in your life who is marginalized in any way, or you are marginalized in any way, you are voting against your own interest, if you are a woman, if you are

Unknown Speaker 31:26

young, if you are old, if you struggle with healthcare, if you're in the US, if you have any other marginalized identity, if you're a black person, if you're a person of color, if you're trans, and, you know, I like to think oh, you know,

Unknown Speaker 31:46

people who will have marginalized identities, know that it doesn't make sense to vote for someone like Trump. But you know what, a lot of times, we do vote for people who are our oppressors. And because we internalize oppression, and make it our own fault, and we're on the sides of those who oppress us. And so for me, it's not a difference of opinion. It's a difference of life and death, literally. And so I am not allowing Trump supporters to be in my community, if I know that there is a Trump supporter following me, I will call them out. And this is the first time I've ever called anyone out.

Unknown Speaker 32:23

If I meet someone who thinks Trump is a good person, I will call them out. It is his ideologies have killed so many people already, and not just in the states around the world. And so if you think it's funny, or you know, call or your right to vote for someone who is that disgusting of a human being, then you know, go ahead and do it. But it's not, you know, it's not it's not, it's not cool. You know, you want to be on the right side of history here. Do you want to be on the right? You want to be on the right hand side of history? Do you want to be looking back in 1020 3040 years and be like, oh, yeah, oh, shit. I vote for him. Do you want to have to keep that a secret? Because it's so embarrassing. Do you want to be ostracized from progressive places? Now, I know that you're not a Trump supporter was speaking to the one from support, who was listening, if they are listening, and also giving you the ammo for what to say, to the Trump supporters in your life? Tell them that they should be fucking embarrassed. It is embarrassing. Oh my god. And if you want screenshots of this stuff, then go to I've not screenshotted the conversation or screenshot at the first you know, me saying What the fuck are you we're from support. And, and then you know, blanked out the names and ship. And so go to my Instagram and look at the story highlights to get that and find the screenshots. So go for it. But

Unknown Speaker 34:01

then like

Unknown Speaker 34:06

yeah, so let's get into today's episode. So you can love your body and be healthy without losing weight. Now, what we're going to be talking about is why diets lie to us and trick us into thinking that weight loss will give us confidence and health, how diets actually give us the opposite thing we're looking for. Make sure that you avoid this outrageous trick diet culture is using to hurt us and how to actually get what you want confidence, health, mobility, whatever it is you're looking for, without shrinking your body. Okay, I see a massive mistake people making again and again and again and again. And I wanted to point it out so that you can avoid

Unknown Speaker 35:00

did, because it's actually super harmful and really counterproductive. So we've established society has established.

Unknown Speaker 35:12

And in case you didn't get the news yet, diets don't work. It was actually established in the 60s, maybe like 59.

Unknown Speaker 35:25

That, you know, the the big the, you know, the big step that everyone uses 95% of diets fail. That came from the 60s, a study that was done in the 60s. So we've known since then. But since then, numerous studies have been published showing, you know, even worse stat, so 95 is like the most generous,

Unknown Speaker 35:48

that, you know, even worse stats that show that dieting is not effective in reducing your body size, long term. Now, of course, everyone can go on a diet and lose weight, temporarily. And that's the thing is, it's temporary, because, you know, people get excited because you start you go on a diet, you start losing weight, you're like, oh my god, this is amazing. I'm gonna be so thin and like a couple of weeks or whatever. But that's it's temporary.

Unknown Speaker 36:21

So here's the mistake that I see

Unknown Speaker 36:24

is that people say, I believe that you should love your body, and that it's okay to be fat. But I am losing weight and dieting for health reasons.

Unknown Speaker 36:42

And this makes no sense. This makes no sense. And in case, you're thinking, What Why does that make no sense, I'm going to explain it to you.

Unknown Speaker 36:51

Dieting hurts your physical and mental health. Dieting makes you have a higher weight. In the long term. Most people who go on diets after you know they've they've gone on the diet, then they've stopped the diet, or they even haven't stopped the diet and they still can't lose weight, because their body is doing numerous things 50 different things, to keep them to keep you at a weight that they that your body is happy with.

Unknown Speaker 37:27

So most people either put the weight back on, or

Unknown Speaker 37:34

end up weighing more. In fact, it's more likely that if you go on a diet, you're going to weigh more. That's why chronic yo yo dieting, so people who diet and then stop dieting, the stop, their weight goes up, up, up, up, every time their body raises their weight, because their body's like whoa, fucking oh, we're in a famine, I need to raise that setpoint weight that I'm happy with. Because if shit hits the fan again, then we're more protected. Now, it's absolutely okay to have a higher weight. But if you're dieting to make your weight smaller or lower, then

Unknown Speaker 38:12

you're shit out of luck.

Unknown Speaker 38:15

So two out of three people who go on a diet leave with that continue disordered eating patterns, disordered eating patterns. Okay, so two out of three people leave a diet with disordered eating patterns. And a diet teaches you how to be a disordered eater. And one out of three dieters go on to develop a full blown eating disorder.

Unknown Speaker 38:40

So, you know, you're you're pretty much going to learn either how to be an even better disordered eater, or you're going to develop into having a full blown eating disorder.

Unknown Speaker 38:52

Dieting is bad for our physical health. So imagine the toll that your body is under when it's in a famine. Now, our bodies can't tell the difference from you, you're thinking, or anyone thinking, Oh, I'm just going to reduce my whatever, to lose weight. Your body is like, I'm not getting enough food.

Unknown Speaker 39:15

What is going on? I don't like this. And I'm going to work and shut off systems and increase systems and increase different things and decrease different things to keep this body safe to keep us alive to keep us functioning in the best way possible. And what harm does that do to you? short term and long term? It's been linked dieting has been linked to increased risk of type two diabetes, high blood pressure, cardiovascular disease. dieters have elevated cortisol levels. Cortisol is the stress hormone. And we all know the devastating impacts of stress on our physical and mental health people

Unknown Speaker 40:00

Whose diet are more likely to engage in self harming behaviors self harm?

Unknown Speaker 40:07

Unknown Speaker 40:10

do you, do you think that temporarily shrinking your body will increase your self esteem?

Unknown Speaker 40:21

Or do you think that when you put your when you put the weight back on, because your body is fighting for that to happen, then you'll feel even worse than you did before. That you'll feel like a failure. Oh, that feeling of being on a diet and feeling so self righteous. That was me, I felt self righteous. I was like, Oh, I'm making all these greedy, lazy people who can't lose weight, not like me. And then then when I did put on weight, I was just like, mortified and so ashamed of myself that I was so you know, undisciplined, which is not what was happening, you know, my body was like, fucking eat Jesus stop with this nonsense. It's ridiculous.

Unknown Speaker 41:06

So you might temporarily be like, Oh, my God, I feel amazing. Look at me fitting into these clothes. And oh, you know,

Unknown Speaker 41:14

my phone is constantly ringing with all the people who want dates with me now that I am addressed I smaller, or whatever it is.

Unknown Speaker 41:21

Yeah, that probably feels good. But that's temporary. It's temporary.

Unknown Speaker 41:29

And then you're probably at a higher weight. And again, it's okay, that if you're at a higher weight, but if you were unhappy with your size before,

Unknown Speaker 41:39

what are you going to then think about your size after you've come off the diet, because you can't continue it because you're a human being. And then you have a higher weight than what you started with. This is going to even add to the lower confidence, right?

Unknown Speaker 41:54

And dieting lowers your self esteem, dieting, teach us teaches you to be disconnected with your body, not trust it feel like it's conspiring against you feel like that there's something wrong with you. And there's not there's nothing wrong with you.

Unknown Speaker 42:16

But the thing is, that's not what diet companies tell us.

Unknown Speaker 42:21

They tell us that by going on a diet, you're going to become happier, more confident, you're going to love your body, you're suddenly going to be able to do all these things that you couldn't do before because you're going to be feel so confident.

Unknown Speaker 42:34

And especially it's reinforced when you see these before and after pictures. And you see the before picture of that person who was

Unknown Speaker 42:42

so so sad. So fat, so horrible, such a bad parent, because they were fat. So unattractive, wearing probably like

Unknown Speaker 42:54

Raguel clothes just to increase the effect of Oh, yeah, they're so they're so horrible. And then you see the after picture of them beaming with their smaller body. And you know, presuming all of the wonderful things that has happened to them now that they have a smaller body. And sometimes like if you were like me reading magazines with these stories in and being like, oh my god, it's so amazing that they are now able to be a good parents because it'd be a parent because they can run around with their kids and feed their kids healthy foods and, and they can

Unknown Speaker 43:31

keep their partner happy and they can do this. So they're so happy at work and they're oh my god and they look so good. And oh this is who they were meant to be all along and look how bad they used to look.

Unknown Speaker 43:44

The thing is, so when I see before and after pictures, not that I go seeking them out, but sometimes they will pop up on Instagram search and I'll be like, get rid of that shit immediately.

Unknown Speaker 43:57

What I see is somewhat like it's I feel like I'm mystic Meg if you're British, you know who mystic Meg is she's like a

Unknown Speaker 44:06

fortune teller that would go on Saturday night TV just before the lottery numbers are announced and be like, if you're golden number two, you're feeling lucky. If you have hair you might win. So I feel like mystic mag when I see these after pictures, because then I can see the After After in my mind I know what is going to happen because statistics tell me what is going to happen is that they are going to be bigger than the before picture

Unknown Speaker 44:32

that they are going to be the same way as a before picture because they cannot maintain that smaller body size and so I see someone who is temporarily happy probably fucking starving and desperate need of food but you know push pushing all those feelings down because those feelings you know they're not positive. pushing that down but they haven't eaten food in a while. Because then life is amazing now, and I always say is temporary and I always just have some

Unknown Speaker 45:00

such empathy for them because I know, in six months, 12 months, two years down the line, they're going to be looking back at this time that they were temporarily thin, and feel so deeply ashamed of what their body looks like now, and what they had for a fleeting moments. And they shouldn't feel ashamed. No one should feel ashamed for putting on weight after a diet, or even if you're still on a diet, because our bodies are magnificent, and are doing wonderful things to keep our body weight at a place that it's happy with our setpoint range, which I set point ranges are kind of

Unknown Speaker 45:42

1020 pound range that our body likes to be in. And once it falls out of this range, then it's like, no, let's get back to where we'd like to be.

Unknown Speaker 45:51

Yeah, so I feel like I can see the see the future. And it's just temporary. And so those good feelings of confidence of happiness, feeling proud of your body is most likely going to be temporary.

Unknown Speaker 46:07

It's just a snapshot in time. So you might say, okay, yes, I understand that I understand that I'm not trying to become smaller, to become more calm, more confident, or to lose weight, or, you know, to increase my self esteem, I'm losing weight, because I want to be able to move more, or I have a health condition, that means I need to lose weight.

Unknown Speaker 46:32

So a lot of people are like that I'm not doing it for you know, to become thin, and I'm doing it because I'm unhealthy. And because I want to be more mobile, because I can't

Unknown Speaker 46:46

get up off the floor without, you know, puffing or something huffing and puffing or whatever, whatever it is that people want to improve. And so they will say, Okay, that is why I'm going on a diet. So I'm going on a diet for good reason, not for a bad reason, a bad reason is because I want to look better, but I'm doing it for a good reason, because I'm doing it for my health.

Unknown Speaker 47:07

Okay, that's fine. But it still stands that no diet is going to

Unknown Speaker 47:15

get you to a smaller Wade's

Unknown Speaker 47:18

diets don't work. And so you're going on a diet to be healthier, and then having a smaller body size to youth means that you're healthier, or there's gonna be temporary, it's not gonna work, diets don't work. Even if your intention is I want to get healthy, you know, I want a smaller body because smaller bodies are healthy, or I want a smaller body because smaller bodies can do more physical activities, whatever it is that you've told yourself, which is not based in reality, or whatever it is that society has told us because we didn't come up with these ideas. Society has told us this. It doesn't matter. Your body doesn't know oh, oh, they're doing it because they're doing it because they want to be able to run around the garden with the kids. Okay, well, this time, I'll make sure that the weight stays off, because they're doing it for good reasons not to look beautiful. But to be a better person, your body doesn't know, it's gonna stay the way that it wants to be no matter how little you eat, or how much you run or whatever.

Unknown Speaker 48:25

Unknown Speaker 48:27

what you can so something disclaimer, now, people who go on diets, sometimes, not always, because, you know, a lot of diets are really fucking fucked up, you know, like, put Tumeric up your bum or whatever. But some diets will say, hey, why don't you increase the variety of food in your life? And why don't you move your body more for the intention of losing weight. Now these behaviors could be health promoting. Now, if they're not done in a disordered way, of course. So those health promoting behaviors could help you improve

Unknown Speaker 49:06

any health condition that you have, could help you improve your mobility, your stamina, your strength. Now, studies have shown that if you engage in new activities or behaviors, and you tie it to weight loss, okay, so you're engaging it in the purpose to lose weight, then it is not as sustainable as if you're doing it if you're doing it just because you want to just because you want to increase your stamina, your strength, your mobility, you want to get more of a variety of foods into your life. If you tie a weight loss outcome with that, what happens is, you engage in this new behavior. You might like it, you might not like it, and then you look at the scale. First off, you start losing weight, you're like oh my god, this

Unknown Speaker 50:00

He's great, this is working on becoming healthier, and becoming smaller and becoming more mobile. After a while, that scale stays the same, but you're still engaging in those behaviors. And then, after a while, maybe the scale goes up or stays the same. And you just sink or fuck it, I'm doing all this work, and nothing is changing. So why should I continue. Whereas if you just engage in these health promoting behaviors outside of a weight loss goal, and you just don't look at how much you weigh, you don't look at what's happening with your weight. And you just try to increase your mobility, your stamina, your strength, have a variety of foods in your life, decrease your stress, and that stuff makes you feel good. And you've not lost weight, or you might have lost weight, or you might have put on weight, you don't know, because you're not looking at the weight outcome that is way more sustainable. It's way more sustainable studies show. So take weight out of it, if you want to be healthy, great, amazing. If you're not interested, great, amazing. And you know, you're morally equivalent, right? If you do want to increase your your stamina or strength or speed, or whenever it is, you can do it outside of going on a diet, which is fucking useless and harmful, harms your mental and physical health and doesn't work and makes you bigger, not being bigger as bad.

Unknown Speaker 51:32

So you know, and all this is not your fault. It's not your fault that you can't maintain being on a diet because it's it's maintaining something which is

Unknown Speaker 51:44

not maintainable. He, you know, I've said it before, it's like holding your breath, no matter how much willpower you have. Eventually, your body takes over and says, okay, but they've been at the wheel this time, this time, and they've really fucked it up. Now. You know, now I'm taking over they've, they've decided to stop breathing again. Fine, I'm gonna I'm gonna force them to breathe. And it's the same with your body. When you're when you're reducing your your food intake or exercising too much into the extreme. Your body's like, Okay, now listen up here, but I'm taking over, I'm taking over because you, you've not been doing it right. So I'm going to take these measures to look after us because you've been holding your breath for far too long. Now, there is a new outrageous deception that diet companies are now trying to sell. And it's, it's,

Unknown Speaker 52:41

it makes me so enraged. I just came across this. I was in a business meeting a couple of days ago. And the business meeting with other like solopreneurs like me, entrepreneurs like me, and people were saying what their businesses was, and this one person said, I've got a feminist company that teaches health and wellness and my ears pricked up, feminist. Oh, cool. Health and wellness. Question mark. And then I was like, what's cool is feminists like health and wellness is always like a dodgy subject. But then I went to her website and I looked at her course it's not fucking health and wellness is dieting. But obviously health and this is like, you know, we're packaging up it's dieting for the you know, this is common, like packaging diets as health and wellness is is is the new way diets. I've been doing it in the last couple of years. But this new adding the feminist onto it. I was so pissed off homestyle so bad stuff. Another thing we were doing, I'm saying it's a body positive weight loss is a body positive diet. It is a diet with social justice intertwined into it.

Unknown Speaker 54:01

And that is not possible. Dieting is not feminist, it is not body positive. It has nothing to do with progressing social justice movements, in fact, the opposite and so when someone

Unknown Speaker 54:19

is appealing to smart people who are feminists who think people should love their body who think that it's okay to have a different variety of bodies but they need to lose weight. Then they would it they will be lulled in, it's easy to be logged into someone who says feminist health and wellness versus someone's like, Yo yo yo put some celery up your bum and you'll lose 5000 calories in two minutes like up like that's silly. I'm not going to do the celebrate my bum but feminist health and wellness, their feminist it must be good is health and wellness. It

Unknown Speaker 55:00

must be healthy and will keep me well. It reminds me of this quote one of my favorite quotes ever I say it all the time. Nomi Wolf's quote, Mimi wolf wrote the beauty method and late 1990s

Unknown Speaker 55:15

This quote, a culture fixated on female thinness is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience. Dieting is the most potent political sedative in women's history, acquire a mad population is a tractable one. And now Nomi uses, you know binary language there for gender. But this stuff affects every gender. It affects gender nonconforming people, trans people, men, women, all gender expressions are hurt by this. And what it is, is keeping us distracted from the important things in the world. So that we cannot work on

Unknown Speaker 56:03

overthrowing the patriarchy overthrowing all of these oppressive systems, I did a whole episode an episode on why

Unknown Speaker 56:12

body positivity is not, you can't actively try to be losing weight on a diet and also declare that you are a body positive person that because they're two separate things. Just a an FYI, in a nutshell, body positivity is a political movement that says that started by black

Unknown Speaker 56:33

women, trans folks in the 1960s Fat people didn't know if I mentioned fat in the 1960s to progress, social justice for fat people for marginalized identities. Okay. And so if you are dieting, then you are trying to arrays, that fat identity. And also, you're saying that you believe that diets work, that diets are going to make you healthy, that diets are going to make you happy that

Unknown Speaker 57:12

you know that you believe in all of these

Unknown Speaker 57:16

oppressive systems and lies that old rich white men have told us.

Unknown Speaker 57:23

Okay, so that was that is what made me really mad. So if you see any, like, feminist health and wellness, really, really take it with a massive pinch of salt, because it's probably fucking bullshit. So you want to be fitter, healthier, more confidence, then engage in behaviors that will actually get you there. Not a diet, not a lifestyle change, they won't work.

Unknown Speaker 57:54

Unknown Speaker 57:57

something to note as well, I mentioned it before is, you know, if people go on a diet, they might increase their activity or or change their, the way they eat, how would someone who is straight sized deal with the issue that you're trying to fix? You know, if you have lower confidence, if you have this health condition or whatever? How would How would a straight size person do it? So if a straight sized person came to you and said, Hey, I am I'm getting out of breath when I'm running around with my kids. There were straight sides, they were thin, you wouldn't say okay, lose weight, what would you say?

Unknown Speaker 58:34

You know, you might say, hey, why don't you increase your

Unknown Speaker 58:38

cardio or something? You know, if a straight size person came and said,

Unknown Speaker 58:45

I need to get more of this type of food into my diet. Would you say okay, great. Lose Weight? No. You'd say, why don't you try and get some of this into your diet? And of course, you're not a doctor, I'm not a doctor, you might be a doctor. But, you know, thinking about for yourself? What would a straight sized person get or do or what would they do to to get this outcome that they want?

Unknown Speaker 59:11

Maybe you should do the same question mark. Obviously, I'm not going to tell you what to do is your life you do what you want. So trying to manipulate minute by minute, trying to manipulate your body size is harmful. Any benefits that it gives you are likely temporary. And everything that diets promises are straight up lies.

Unknown Speaker 59:36

If you learn self compassion, then you can actually foster body confidence.

Unknown Speaker 59:43

If you learn self compassion, you can be more able to look after your health. You're able to more you know what more able to choose foods that make you feel great. Make you feel joyous mind

Unknown Speaker 1:00:00

Notice the disordered thoughts, thoughts or disordered eating, or full blown eating disorder. If you learn self compassion,

Unknown Speaker 1:00:11

you will be able to do all of those things that dieting has lied to you about saying that if you do this, if you do this diet and you become become thin, money is going to rain down from the sky, you know, people, everyone's going to want to date you, you're going to be the hottest thing since sliced bread, etc, etc, you can get all of that from self compassion. So that is the route to go. So that is our episode today. Thank you for hanging out with me today, bro. reciate it thank you for listening to my stance on how to deal with Trump supporters and what I think about them and all that type of stuff. And if you want to learn more about how to love your fat body, then go on over to get my incredible free resource, the fierce fatty Vault, which has 1616 1718 between 16 and 80 we get between 16 and 18 and our videos and workbooks and juicy stuff all about how to love your fat body how to change the way that you're change your thoughts and improve your relationship with food. So go get it it's free. It's amazing. Check out the link in my bio in the bio in the in the thing and my job liberalism, the liberal Blum, get the link in the blimp emblem wherever you're listening to this below to the side above around in the middle. The link will be there somewhere. You're going to find it you're going to get it you're going to get an instant email with access. Easy peasy lemon and lime. Okay, we'll have a wonderful rest of your day. Stay fierce, fatty and I'll see you in a while.