Episode 76 Transcript

Read transcript alongside audio.

Welcome to the Fierce Fatty Podcast. I'm your host, Victoria Welsby and this is episode 76. Today, we're talking about intuitive fasting (aka how to spot a diet-culture charlatan) and fat fetishism.

I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fifth party who loves every inch of this jelly. society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the first fatty podcast Let's begin.

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Welcome to Episode 76. If you're one of the people who've listened to all 75, previous episodes, massive fatty high 5252 Yeah. Wow. That's a lot as a lot of hours of listening to me talk, so thank you. If that's you, I really appreciate it. Yeah, it's pretty, it's pretty cool. I'm, I'm trying to do a better job of, of categorizing the stuff I talked about in episodes because I actually, as soon as I finish the record button, my mind is wiped clean of what I spoke about. So like next week, I'm like, What did I speak about last week? Have I ever spoken about fat phobia? before? Maybe I should speak about that. Yeah, you've spoken about it before I was, but I forget, I forget. So I'm, I'm trying to catalog things and create a search function on my website. So you can be like, Okay, I want to search about science, and find all the science episodes and things like that. So. But it feels like I've covered so much yet. I've barely touched on so many things. Probably because it goes out of our minds rate goes out of our minds. But yeah, thank you for being here. If you like the show, then why not? Give me a review on wherever you're listening. And that would be really helpful. Or not, I'm not the boss of you. I've got no new dating stories for you. Sorry, I'm sorry. I know. It's been a week. It's been a week since I, since my last update, calling the police. And I haven't had to call the police on anyone else yet. So I would say that it's pretty amazing. I just been chatting to people, you know what they were like, I don't know if I've mentioned this and mentioned this in the last episode.

But people don't seem to know how to have a conversation or it's making me think maybe, I don't know how to have a conversation. I know, tell me if you think of this as weird. But when you're having a conversation with someone, there's some kind of like, back and forth, right? Like, how was your day? Good? My day was fine. How was your day? Great. What are you up to tonight or whatever other day? That's, that's, you know, so it's like a back and forth. How are you? What you've been doing was tell me about you. And it just always seems like they're like, Hi. Hi. How are you? Yeah, good. Good. So I'll ask them a question. And they'll be like, yeah, the color green. Like, okay, cool. So, ask them another question. And they like answer the question. And that's it. And I'm thinking, asked me a fucking question. Is that just me that have asked any questions? Right. Like, you know, like, oh, so how long have you lived in Vancouver? Or like, oh, this long? Yeah. Anything else you want to input? No. Oh, so what brought? Yeah, they stayed. Okay. Yeah. Any other input? No. So I felt like I'm just there, asking them questions or you know, commenting on what they said and hoping that they might say, so tell me about you. I get maybe I'm just new, you know, I just want to talk about my favorite subject, which is I don't know. I don't think that's weird for expecting them to ask questions. But that's always been my number one issue is they just never, that's not true.

But often people don't set ask quite well, but anyway, I'll keep you updated could be updated, if anything exciting happens. Something that's coming up when this podcast comes out is something to you, I'm making something to help you. So this is in the future. Right now it's March but something's coming up in May and this podcast is going to come out between then and then. So I need to tell you about it.

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So I am going to create a challenge a challenge which is going to be called be in all the photos ditch the boring clothes and stop pulling your top down to hide your belly, how to love your fat body. So it'll be like a how to love your fat body challenge. And in five days, I am going to take you through the steps to love your fat body how to love your fat body. And I'm going to run it for free the first time round and so it's starting on the Third of May and then afterwards I'm going to be I'll be I'm going to be creating it into a mini paid offer. So if you want to get in for free, then go to first money.com forward slash challenge first fatty.com forward slash challenge how to love you fat body being all the photos digital boring clothes and stop pulling your top down to hide your belly facebook.com forward slash challenge I'm just right now on like mapping it all out and so it'll be five days of of like mini trainings and videos and private Facebook community and chat challenging you to do shit so that you feel better because we want to get you out of that constant learning mode don't we? Don't we now don't we now constant learning mode always talking about just learning stuff? Not doing it? So yeah, don't get don't don't let that scare you don't know we're just doing learning we're doing learning. We're not doing anything doing no do no doing is happening. So yeah, go and rescue for free. If we started at comm forward slash challenge. If you're listening to the podcast after me the third, you can still go to that link.

And then you'll either be directed depending how long after you were directly to join and recap where you know what you've missed. So if you're listening on the, you know, six or something, then you know, you can still go and join and even if it's way in the future, then you're going to find the details out anyway. So facebook.com forward slash challenge. So go do that. Had some good news this week. I just you know, I love I love having a chat with people. I'm out having a chat. I've had this cold for the last few weeks, I've not been able to get rid of it. Just runny nose, runny nose, can't get rid of it. And I went into the pharmacist, after a few weeks of this annoyance, said I've got a runny nose give me something for this for the sniffles. And he said he's sure it's a cold, could it be allergies? And I said no. Never had allergies, what you're talking about? And then he said, Yeah, you can get it in adulthood. And then I realized last summer, I had some sniffles, and found out that it might be allergies that you get in in adulthood. Turns out Yeah. Because I got I bought some some of the tablets, the antihistamines or whatever they're called. And it turns out it wasn't calm. So good. My good news is I had high fever and that's all right. I've got fever. But now my cold is gone because it wasn't a cold. It was just the sniffles from high fever. So life is good for me. Don't say it doesn't get fuckin hardcore over here in the Welsby household with diagnosing hay fever. I'm telling you, his shit gets real. I know. It's pretty. He probably going to write that in your diary tonight. Victoria discovered that she had hay fever and not the sniffles from a cold it was a highlight of my week. So we have a listener question that I would like to answer from Kirsty. So. Listener question. Let me read it out to you. Are you ready? Are you comfortable? Let us begin.

Hi, Victoria. You mentioned in the past about people who have a fat fetish, but I'm wondering if If you could tell me more, I recently entered the dating scene after a 12 year relationship with the st. sighs man, where we really were, we never really discussed me being fat. I agreed to meet a guy for a date. And I had a feeling that he had a fat fetish, which I didn't know too much about. But now I'm actually dating him early days. And I'm conflicted between actually really liking him and feeling uncomfortable about him. fetishizing and sexualizing. Me, for example, he cooks for me large portions and offers me snacks all the time. He's he has asked to physically feed me to which are agreed to ones but it really wasn't for me, he enjoy things, things like watching me get out of breath while walking uphill and all the bits of my body. The society says no one should

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upper arm fat tummy rolls, FUPA, etc. Should I think should like a part of me thinks that I should just enjoy myself and let him enjoy me. But a part of me feels like he wouldn't be into me at all if I was thinner, which seems superficial, not just sexual preference would appreciate some advice. Many thanks, Kirstie. Great question Kirstie. Okay, so what do you think? What do you think the answer to this is? So things I want to say things that are in my brain about this, and I would like to say is that it's okay to have a fetish. As long as they are not non consensually, hurting other people. And, you know, if everyone's on board, and everyone's enjoying it having fun, go bananas. And so it's okay also to have a fat fetish. And something to remember here is we tend to demonize those who fetishize fat bodies. And we say, Oh, they're gross, and they're abnormal. And there's some there's something weird about them if they've got a thing for fat people and that they should be ashamed. But we don't have the same view about people who have a thin fetish, which is most of society, most of society fetishize is thin bodies. And, and that's just seen as a preference, right? I just, I just prefer it when, when you know, my partner is that I just really like the thin self, doesn't matter about their personality as long as they're thin. So we can clearly see when a thin fetish is a problem, which is, everything that we're doing in this podcast is, is breaking that down, that is, you know, fat phobia. And, you know, it's when it's non consensual. And when it becomes rigid, and all encompassing, and it's not fun, then it's an issue. But fetishes can be fun to explore and play around with and, and you know, something that you could be new to, and you're like, I'm not sure about this, and I don't know, and, and you try it out, and you're like, I don't really like this, or actually I like these things, but not being these things, or I like all of it.

And so, the way that anyone reacts to different experiences, it's different for everyone, right. So, also pointing out here is that just liking something doesn't make it a fetish. So let me read from Wikipedia. What sexual fetishism is so, quote, sexual fetishism or erotic fetishism, is a sexual fixation on a non living object or non genital body parts. The object of interest is called the fetish. The person who has a fetish for that object object is a fetishist. A sexual fetish may be regarded as non pathological and as a non pathological aid to sexual excitement, or as a mental disorder if it causes significant psychosocial distress for the person or has detrimental effects on important areas of their life. Sexual Arousal from a particular body part can further be classified as partial ism never heard that one before? Well, medical definitions restrict the term sexual fetishism to objects or body parts. tissue can in common discourse also refer to sexual interest in specific activities. So it could be that your partner just likes dislikes FAT, FAT verse just thinks it's pretty cool and also likes, straight size bodies, bodies, and also likes all sorts of different things. And you know, even if you if you do have a fish, fish, you can still like all sorts of different things too.

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And so, you know, maybe it's just liking, and even if it is just a fish or fish can be fine and gray and fun. And it's all down to how you feel about it. So what I think here is the issue here is communication, that this, this person hasn't told you that, you know, that they're fetishizing you if they are and we don't know for sure if he, if he is fetishizing you, which wouldn't be inherently bad, but you kind of you've got to be in on it too, right? Kind of is like one sided thing where you don't know what's going on, because it's causing you discomfort, which is what's happening right now you are, you're not comforted by this experience, it experience that you're having. We don't know if he just happens to like feeding you. And that could be something that's really nice for him, like, Oh, my God, my son, my mum, my little Irish Mom, where she just, she loves feeding people. And I yeah, it's just a, it's just an act of love, right. And I can see that too. Like when people come around, and I want them, I just want them to feel free and happy and comfortable.

And, and so, you know, safe was come someone coming around for dinner, or pre COVID days how much in those days, when people would come around for dinner, I would want to make them as much few food as they would feel comfortable with, you know, like, I would want to make sure that they didn't leave hungry because, you know, it would make me sad to think that they didn't feel comfortable around me to eat. Maybe that's what he's doing. I don't know, maybe the same with like being out of breath. You him enjoying it. Like we don't know, I don't know what he's saying or doing or you do. But you know, it could be that he just appreciates you being able to be vulnerable. Because you know how we feel when we're walking up the hill, everyone's like, there's hold the breath. When someone walks by, we don't want them to know that we're fighting for our lives. And everyone's doing the same thing. Like every, you know, straight size person fat person, everyone is going up the hill being like, not out of breath at all, totally. Because we want the other person to think we're an athlete or something. You know, maybe if you're just out of breath, it shows that you don't give a fuck what he's thinking. And you're just like, Oh, that was a tough hill to climb. And he's like, You know what, it's really cool that you're able to be yourself? I don't know. Or it could be that he some of there's something else going on there? You know, I don't know the answer. It sounds like you don't know the answer maybe. And so talking to him about that would be really helpful. Another thing to note here is that it can be incredibly strange to have someone appreciate your body especially pieces of your body, which we are told Are you know, not good. Like you mentioned and the thing is like the way that I view it is I get it you know as in I get why someone will want to appreciate your body, your body because it's cool and interesting and sexy and, and new and it's just yeah, it's just fun and exciting. But also for for someone to see someone getting deep pleasure from these things that are seen as abhorrence. It is confusing, like, and it's it's suspicious, you know? Because if we saw people walking around doing disgusting things, we would be like, What is wrong with them? Why are they behaving that way? And even though we're fighting this battle of believing that our body isn't disgusting, there's still that thought of, Ooh, what's wrong with them? They are getting joy from my body because clearly, Don't you have eyes? Can't you feel it? Can't you? Can you this experience can't You can't you tell that it is not attractive? So that is a normal feeling when that happens for me, like if someone is marveling at my body, I'm gonna soak that shit up. It deserves To be marveled. There's nothing wrong with thinking that fat bodied bodies are cool, right? So I would ask you to think about like, why you're feeling uncomfortable? Is it because he isn't being upfront and honest? Is it because you're suspicious of someone appreciating your body?

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Why are you feeling uncomfortable? Is it because it feels non consensual? Do you feel objectified? And so it sounds like, you know, a part of that the, you know, the definition of fetishism is, you know, that objectification and objectification. If it's not consensual, it can, it can feel really awful. And objectification is, is breaking people down to their body parts, and seeing them as non human seeing them as an object. And when things are seen as objects or non human, they can be seen as property, which means that people can do what they like with them, which means that you are not safe, which means that can lead to violence. And so it's kind of like, the tip of an iceberg of this feels yucky. And I don't know why. I'm not saying that. That's what's happening. But that's why, you know, objectification is something that we want to avoid, because, you know, people are people, people are not objects. So, is it that you feel objectified? And there's no right or wrong answers here. It could be that you just gain to know a new person, and it's different.

And you know, you've been with somebody for 12 years and, and size has never been an issue on the table. And now it is, and that's weird. And that's different. Or it could be that he is fetishizing you in a non consensual way, and it's not okay with you. Right. But kind of like, exploring to find out what is going on here. So talk to him about how you feel. And yeah, he could say, Yeah, I'm a fat fetishist. I love fat people. And then you can decide if that's okay with you. On you can decide, you know, what does that mean? You can ask him, What does that mean? Does that mean that if I become thin, you don't want to be with me? Does that mean you're not interested in my personality? You're only interested in my body? Does that mean you just appreciate fatness and you see the abundance and softness? And that just really gets you going? Like what? Like, what does that mean? What does that mean to us? And you could decide oh, yeah, um, it means that if I was ever to become thin, he would immediately dumped me, then you can ask yourself questions of like, how does that feel was okay with me? Imagine if the tables were turned. If you were with a if you're with someone, and you happen to be straight sighs and they said, If you ever put on weight, I'm going to automatically dump you. Would that'd be someone you would want to be with? And so there's no right or wrong answer because we don't really have all the information. Right. So. So yeah, it's okay to fetishize as long as it's consensual. And it's not a problem unless it becomes a problem in life. You know, same with anything. Same with, you know, being having disordered eating or having an eating disorder, or not, not comparing, having a fetish with an eating disorder.

But the reason I mentioned that is the reason when it the time that it comes a problem is when it is a problem and when it's affecting your life in negative ways, and it means that you can't live a normal life. And so yeah, so we want to get out of this idea that being a fat fetishist means that there's something nefarious happening there that there's something bad. If it is not impacting your life negatively their life negatively, then it could be just be some sort of fun, or it could be something that you're not interested in and that's okay as well. So come ask some questions. See how it is. And it's a Simpson interesting, isn't it? Let me know what's the let me know what happens next. I want to know I want to know, but the rest of the business want to know what happens. What this person says. So okay, that finishes Alright, so I wanted to talk about intuitive fast and have you you've probably this has been out a couple of months now. But so, goop donkey, Gwyneth Paltrow. So Gwyneth Paltrow, the actress has a company called goop and I'm going to stand I don't think it stands for anything. Basically. She's a massive Belland

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massive Belen Who is like just fucking just the worst that's how I feel about that. That's how I feel about her

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just a ton of problematic shit like, you know, put crystals up your bum hole and your your go to heaven and glitter will come out of your eyeballs and things like that like bullshit loads of bullshit basically. And she has promoted a book called intuitive fasting and it made me think about all the bullshit ways diet culture is sneaking into our lives. It's just a little a little snippet from what what what the goop company has has said about the book and Jota fasting when GP is experimenting with new ways of eating, we listen GP is good at Paltrow. It just feels so gross, this whole thing, especially when it evolves and then at the at the author of the book, I'm not gonna tell you who it is because you don't need that in your life. Lately, GP has been working with coal on the protocol from his new book intuitive fasting, which just came out today SPOILER ALERT GP gave it rave rave reviews. GP also wrote the foreword, so she's probably getting paid for it. The book outlines Cole's four week food plan and, and helps us understand our body's cues and to eat for both satisfaction and restoration. There's also a bit there, if you read that bit without me making fun of it and putting on voice and stuff. You have like okay, outlines a food plan helps us understand our body's cues. Yes, to eat for both satisfaction and restoration. Yeah, okay. Okay, that sounds intuitive. Hopefully, most of the listeners of this podcast will will see that word fasting and be like, let's kick this book into the sun because you cannot intuitively fast by by the way, intuitive fasting is bollocks. It's totally made up. You can't intuitively starve yourself because that is what's happening when you're fasting. You can't intuitively have an eating disorder. Like it's fucked up. It's fucked up. And and what really gets on my tits about it is the fact that it's co opting this, you know, the intuitive eating and the anti diet, body positivity, fat positivity movement, and reselling it to two people so that they feel better about the way they're doing things because it's not a diet. It's not a diet, it's intuitive. Fasting, don't worry about the first thing bit but it's intuitive. You're going to get thin, like it really isn't. She's not was not diet culture, because we hate diet culture. But you're going to get laser, you're going to lose laser way so. And then I was talking to a client about how to spot diet culture, and how it's really well hidden and fatphobia and how it's really well hidden. And she had a success. And she said that she was following the dietician, who on their account is says I'm anti diet and I'm a health every size, I'm going to haze, dietician, and then they this person gave a tip to the audience that I won't repeat, which was to get less a way to get less calories into your life. And and it was shrouded in all of this other stuff.

And it was kind of like, Oh, and here's a little diet culture tip. Here's how to, you know, add in a sprinkle of disordered eating Do you diet and it's only kind of when you have those trained ears and eyes and senses that you're able to be like well seems like some helpful stuff wrapped in some really problematic bullshit. So there are a massive number of these kind of Fluffy, fluffy accounts. The reason I call them fluffy, it's like surface surface level stuff without really getting into any type of basic understanding of the things that they say that they believe. You know, they are body positivity and anti diet is becoming more and more mainstream. Fantastic. Love it. But then

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as dieting is falling out of fashion, Thank fuck diet companies, and people who think dieting is good and being weighing less is good, have to become really fantastic at marketing. And so they will just go straight out and be like, This is not a diet, we hate diets and so you you be listening be like, Yes, I hate diets, diets don't work. And then they're like, diets don't work. That's why I share my my strategy of how to lose weight, which does work is not a diet, or what's the strategy, eat like hardly any food. Um, so it's a fucking diet. So I want you to lay out all of the sneaky little things that people might say all might do, which will show you that their account is not actually fat, positive body positive anti diet, health, every size, and that they are just, you know, sticking a little label on the front to get people in the door so that they can sell them a diet, or they can tell them to lose weight, or show that they're not doing the work. Which is and which is which is which, which sucks. And the reason why I get so worked up about this and so annoyed is they're targeting vulnerable people, people who were like, I don't know, like they're at a crossroads of diets haven't worked. And I've spent my whole life hating myself, and I think there might be another way and, and so then they start learning about this stuff. And they're fed bullshit, like intuitive fasting. And so they think, oh, okay, well, I'm going to do intuitive eating. I'm going to do this intuitive fasting. And then it doesn't work because diets don't work.

And then they're like, but this wasn't even a diet and I'm still don't like myself. What is wrong with me, there's something wrong with me. I am the common denominator here. Therefore, I am flawed. Yet another example of why I'm such a loser. I can't even stick to this intuitive eating stuff, even though it's not intuitive eating. And they and they internalize it. And and they shouldn't, because they've been taken in by expert marketers, expert marketers, who know what to say to get you to trust them, and seem radical, because they're saying these anti diet things, but are not. Okay, so let me go over Langfang car. So if you've got any of these people in your life, you can just throw them into the sun, get rid of those motherfucker. Because it's no good for your mental health. Hey, all right. So how to tell if a body positive or anti diet account is actually diet culture, or fatphobia? in disguise. So first, the sentence you get looking at the counters, it will be confusing, like they'll they'll share one thing that will be like, fuck, yes. That seems really cool. And in line with what I think. And then there'll be another thing where you're like, No about that. That's making me feel some things. It's making me feel like and less than in some way. They will have most a majority or only pictures of themselves as a straight size person. Bending over, showing that teeny, teeny tiny Tommy rolls that anypony tiny dummy rolls. Although we're like, here's a picture of me being posed. And there'll be like, a model bikini. And they're like, here's a picture of me not holding my breath. And then you'll be like, is there a difference? I can't really see one nothing to the naked eye. Let me zoom in. Oh, yeah, I can see that. Her her. Her stomach is like one maybe two millimeters more protruding than it was in the first picture. Yeah. Yeah, hashtag body positivity. And so many stories people get mad. When when I talk about how it's not appropriate for thin white women to be saying,

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My life is so hard because I have a belly roll. Because and especially using the hashtag bullet body positivity because body positivity is a movement started by fat people For fat people to make sure that marginalized bodies are being centered. And so it's doing the opposite like literally doing the opposite you're, you're using a normative body, a body that society says is great. A Okay. And you're and and straight size people are like, Oh, but look, if I contort into a pretzel, sometimes I get a tiny little roll on my tummy. And that's really sad for me. Now, straight sides, people can have bad body image, but they do not experience systemic fatphobia. Alright, so. So if they, if they have pictures of other people, then it will be people who are still fitting in with society's expectations. And if they have fat people on their on their feed, it will be very, it'll be small, fat people and it'll be fat people with an hourglass, fat people who are not super fat people. Because, you know, that's just that's too extreme for them. They don't they don't want to be seen as they're promoting the Oh word. They don't talk about politics, the politics of fat phobia. So for example, they don't know that body positivity stem from fat positivity.

And they think that body positivity is just hashtag loving yourself, which is not that loving yourself. So do different things. They don't recommend fat accounts to follow or uplift, marginalized voices. And they don't acknowledge their thin privilege, they don't understand about thin privilege, because I wouldn't be posting the teeny tiny Tommy roll selfies. And if someone mentions them privilege, then they'll be like how but but but thin people don't like their body as well. Instead of being like, yeah, it's inappropriate for thin people to be overtaking this movement, which is created by and for fat people. They use words like healthy BMI and the yo words with no context or disclaimers. So they are very loaded words, and they will just throw them out there without kind of without, without dismantling it. So they're not saying like, Oh, the BMI is bullshit. They're just like, If your BMI this or they'll talk about health, as if it isn't a really nuanced topic, and how not everyone can be healthy or not everyone wants to be healthy. And that health is largely out of our control for you know, many different factors are involved in what makes up health and how health is a social construct, all that type of stuff. So there's no talk like that that's going on. They don't provide trigger warnings or content warnings and then share stuff that even the kind of the average person will know that this is difficult to see. And just the whole kind of not even mentioning fatphobia in general, not using fat as a neutral descriptor. Like it's fine. You know, when people say like bigger bodied, higher weight, things like that, but then if they're not even mentioning the dynamics at play, and how all of these things are so deeply intertwined, and that for me, that is a red flag, a big one. And I see this all the time sharing before and afters.

And but then like, but it's a good before and after, because I'm sharing before I used to be really thin. And I used to be sad, but now I'm still thin but but heavier, thin person, and now I'm happy. You still showing a normative body and showing images of someone who is potentially in an eating disorder. And so saying, hey, let's look at this body. And let's make judgments about these bodies. Which is the stuff that we want to stop doing. And so even if it's, you know, obviously the before and afters of I used to be so fat and look at me now I'm so thin that's obviously problematic but then a lot of people turning around being like Oh look I used to be so sad and and your show themselves in a bikini. But you know, that is still problematic in a different way.

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They share pictures of their meals as in a you should eat this kind of way not in a look at me an act of rebellion eating a doughnut or whatever. So there'll be like, a what a nutritionist eats for lunch. And it'll be like a anti diet nutritionist and it'll be like, Oh, what did they eat for lunch? Oh, they ate some steamed fucking brussels sprouts. Really? His steam and shit a lunchtime anyway, but really? Like some steam brush sprouts? Um, no, that's not good. Because you know what people are gonna do, they're gonna be like, well, oh shit, I didn't have steamed brussel sprouts for lunch. That means that I am bad. And I need to be doing that. Because the nutritionist who is body positive, who is hashtag anti diet is saying is showing me that they had steamed brussel sprouts for lunch, saying things or certain phrases I'm like, saying things like confidence is sexy, or confidence is beautiful or healthy as a new skinny things like those those phrases and even things like Real Women Have Curves. All those types of phrases just show it's kind of like they don't have a deeper understanding of why those things are problematic. And so I'm like, Do you know what is going on? They say things like, I love myself, therefore, I am losing weight for my health condition. This is a big one, I see this so much people I'm losing, I'm losing weight. For my health condition, therefore its body positive. Mike, what I thought you were into light weight science, I thought you were into the idea that diets don't work for a tiny majority of people, but people have it in their mind. But if I'm losing weight, not for bad reasons, the bad reasons being that I want to look thin, and I want to look good. If I'm losing weight for good reasons, I want to be healthier, then it's gonna work for me, it's gonna work for me, I'm going to I'm going to do it, I'm going to become thin. No, your body doesn't know that you're doing it because you want to pick up a bikini model, or you're doing it because you want to run after your kids. So the saying to your body, you know, doesn't look so. So if an account or person or whatever the stuff just just doesn't make you feel right, is making you feel bad about the way you're doing things, then you know that it's probably time to say Bubu to these accounts that claim to be fat positive body positive, anti diet, health every size.

But really, it's the same old bullshit, but with a nicer facade, so we don't want we don't want that shit in our lives. So we know. And here's how I tell you what, though, is hard. So don't feel bad. If you're like, following people who are like that. One of the very first hashtags that I followed on Instagram was healthy as a new skinny, I think there's an account called Healthy as a new skinny. And I was like, Yes, this is so radical. I don't care about being skinny. I just want to be healthy. And now I'm like, oh, and so what then it then that led me into other accounts that were more problematic. And more accounts or more, more, more more, you know, because you get recommendations. So it led me down a path, which was not the most helpful for me at the time. And so avoiding all of these things, if you can, it's going to mean that you're going to get more of that good, juicy, fat, positive, actual fat positive. And there's loads of by the way, there's loads of straight size dietitians, and nutritionists and fat positive folks out there who don't do this shit. There's so many of them. And I'm just like, oh my god, stop my beating heart. I love you so much. There's so many that don't do it. And there's so many that are capitalizing on this new trend of saying diets don't work and don't understand anything about what they're saying. And they're like, Okay, so anti diet, but my diet is better. My diet is better. It's not a diet. It's not a diet. It's not a diet. It's just just don't eat any food ever. And then you'll be thin and you'll then you'll be dead and then then you'll be really happy but it's hashtag na

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Daya makes me sad. So all right, Hopefully it was helpful for you. Reminder go to sign up for that challenge facebook.com forward slash challenge. How to love effect bye Ray, be in all the photos ditch a boring clothes and stop pulling your top down to hide your belly first family.com forward slash challenge and I shall see you in the next episode. Alright, see you later crocodile stay face it thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fears fattier Academy which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic beliefs and learn to love your fat body, then go to first party.com forward slash waitlist again that is phase fatty.com. Forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens