Episode 75 Transcript

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Welcome to the Fierce Fatty Podcast. I'm your host, Victoria Welsby and this is episode 75. Today, we're talking about how to change your neural pathways and unhelpful beliefs.

I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident fifth party who loves every inch of this jelly. society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the first fatty podcast Let's begin.

1:17

Hello, fancy Welcome to this episode. Thanks for being here. I appreciate it. How's life? It's a St. Patrick's Day here in the past. Hello. It's Victoria from the past talking to you, human of the future. What's the future like? Well, today it's St. Patrick's Day. March the 17th. My mum sent me a video of a green and white and orange parrot doing an Irish jig to some Irish music this morning when I woke up so that was I like that. Can you hear this?

2:05

Yes. Imagine a parent dancing. Doing a little jig. So yeah, because my mom is. My mom is Irish. Most of my family Irish, I'm Irish. So Happy St. Patrick's Day. Hey, don't you listen up here. Don't you call it Patty's day with T's because that is not the abbreviate. That is not the shortening of Patrick Panni were DS. When I first got to Canada, and I saw people saying St. Patty's Day I was just like, oh, Ana's Dabio and that's ace. It's Paddy. My uncle Patty would be very mad. If you knew you. You were saying Patty, not Paddy.

Anyway, it's like a pet peeve of mine. It doesn't matter really. In the grand scheme of things. We're Irish just like, nerds wrong. Do you know the other thing was get some motets is people that people say wrong is in North America. They say twat instead of tracks when they're trying to say twit, TWA T there's an A there, it's twice that it's not taught. Unless you're trying to say TW o t then that's what, but that's not a food. It's twice that say twice. It's quite apt. I hope there's no children listening right now. Because they're picking up a new word. That's a good word. Isn't it? Really? It's a good it's a good you know, in the range of British swear words twice is you know, like a good medium like, low to medium offensive always a bit of a twat. You know, it's not bad. It's not that bad. You know? Kind of friendly, friendly. swear word. Yeah. So hey, I've I've started started dating. Well, so on Friday, I went to the dog park and I met a couple where and you know how my Lacalle unlikeness nice little chinwag. And anyway, they had been together for over a year. And I say how did you meet? They said, Oh, we met on a dating app called hinge and I said I'm comfortable with the date. And you know what I mean? It's just just because you know, the messages you get, like, I literally Hi. Like in riveting, or, you know, hey, I want to see your floppy tips or whatever. I know you want to see my floppy disks. But I mean, go on. Give me a couple of messages first. And so they were like, oh, cool, one Gone, Gone. Gone. Do some date and I said okay, all right. All right. It's a Friday night went home. Had a had a croissant. So I had a croissant. I don't know like croissants, but it had cherry in it. So that was enjoyable. Croissant and Facebook as a new feature, which is Facebook dating. And I've even noticed So I thought you know what, I'm gonna give it a try. I'm gonna try. And yeah, so signed up for Facebook dating very easy. Lots of matches hopping, honestly, when you're as amazing as me. I think it's, you know, when you start a new profile, they just put you in front of everyone so that you like, oh my god, everyone loves me. And yeah, yeah.

So late Friday night, okay, so Friday night, two guys messaged me saying. So one guy who was saying, he messaged me say, you know, hey, how you doing the news? Like, Oh, can we, I'd like to go on a date with you. And I said, Oh, I'd like to chat a bit more just to make sure that we're compatible. You know, I don't want to waste time on it. I want to waste time on a date with someone that you know, you know, barely spoken to, didn't say that to him. But I was like, Yeah, you know, give us a little more time before we go on date. So then, conversation kept going, like maybe one or two messages, and he's like, Oh, where do you live? And I said, Oh, we're downtown. And then he's like, okay, great. Well, I'll be there in 30 minutes. So you thought 30 minutes is what I meant when I said, I need some more time before. He says, 30 minutes, I'll be around yours. What coffee do you want to drink? Or what hot drink? Can I get for you? What, what, what not, hello, no one, we're in a pandemic, and I don't want to die. And if you're if you're so keen on meeting me after like, two messages, and you know, you've had you fucking done it with other people. And, therefore, you're probably higher higher risk for the, for this spreading of the virus. And to that's no go away. Like, I didn't invite you to where I live.

7:01

And three, no, like, because you just cut, you cut, and you literally want to come around my house, which is against the rules. And you know, people are not allowed in our houses. Just to get your deck work. No, go go away. And so I said, no, no. And he's like, come on, you know? And yeah, just blocked him. And, yeah, because you know why? You know, before I used to be like, you know, when guys would be like, come on. I don't know, you know, they're trying to convince me, but now I'm seeing it like, no, they're not respecting my boundaries. I said, No, I said no, twice to him. I said, No. And, you know, his instead of being like, oh, yeah, of course. He was just like, No, man. I don't know if he was doing that voice. But what I'm trying to say, anyway, so talking to another guy. And so he's like, Oh, I mean, I'm in I'm on vacation in India, and I thought, vacationing when we're not allowed. In Canada, they've stopped all the flights to Mexico and somewhere else somewhere else that people can't go on holiday. And so this guy's like, Oh, I'm in India on holiday. And I was like, and I thought, well, you know, I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

So you know, maybe he's like, someone had died or something like that, because he didn't say the word holiday. Maybe he did say vacation. Anyway. So then, you know, we're having a chat seems like an All right guy. And then he's like, Oh, I'm actually I'm back in Vancouver. Now. I've arrived back and I said, Oh, you'll probably get you're going to be quarantining now for 14 days, aren't you? And he's like, No. Where I where I was in India is exempt from core quarantine. And I was like, really? Because that sounds really fucking fishy. And he's like, Yeah, I'm going to I'm going to go to work tomorrow. I was like, Dude, that's like, in Canada, it's really serious. If you don't quarantine you, how many years in prison? Can you get? I think it's like 10 years in prison. And the fine is a million dollars. So they're taking this seriously, like, you got to quarantine when I gauranteed. Every single day you have to check in. And, yeah, so it's a big deal. And so I was like, really until I started Googling it to see how there are these new rules that if you come from this one place in India, you don't have to quarantine? No, there's nothing about it. And so I was like, Oh my God, what do I do? And so, I had to call the non emergency police line. That was like, What do I do in this situation? This guy is like blatantly not quarantining. Just going on vacation or willy nilly. So Um, the police, like the non emergency police line was like, unless you actually see him walking about, you can't We can't do anything about it. I was just like, well, at least I've done my, my citizens duty. Like, I've not

10:20

Yeah, so Monday morning, I'm like, um, how I can leave? Someone didn't like doing that. But, you know, I thought, what if he he? What if he killed someone? You know? What if you kill someone? What if? And I could have done something about it? Because he's just just like, yeah, man, I'm just gonna go out and blah, blah, blah. And yeah, so I'm really surprised by a lot of these guys. Like, yeah, let's do this and that same sex and it's just breaking the law breaking the rules. So anyway, so that's, that's my life. I'll keep you updated. Because I'm sure that Jesus has been like three days of dating. And already I've had to call the police. So I'll keep you updated on this on this, I'm going to try a different app, I'm going to I'm going to go on like hinge or OKCupid, or, or whatever, because this Facebook dealings with caliber isn't there. So, yeah, next time on the podcast, I'll probably be like, yes. I don't even I don't even want to predict what I'm what I'm gonna have to say. Okay, so in this episode, we're talking about changing your neural pathways and your unhelpful beliefs, unhelpful beliefs about your body and how you are not good enough, or that number of jazz. So just in case, you're not familiar with that term neural pathways. Let's see what Wikipedia has to say about it. So Wikipedia says, A neural pathway is a connection formed by axons, that project from neurons to met to make synapses on to neurons in another location to to enable a signal to be sent from one region of the nervous system to another. Continuing this is a different part and then in the in the Wikipedia thing. neural pathways in the basal ganglia in the cortico, basal ganglia thalamocortical loop science, are seen as controlling different aspects of behavior. This regulation is enabled by the dopamine pathways, it has been proposed that the dopamine system of pathways is the overall overall organiser of the neuro pathways that are seem to be parallels of the dopamine pathways. So there's like there's loads of different neural pathways, different types of neuro pathways within our body. And what we're focusing on in this episode is the the idea of neural pathways being created that affect our behavior.

And the way that the way we're acting the way we're thinking and how we have the ability to change them. So here's a little a little excerpt from so this is a neuroscientist Dr. Tara Swart. A piece that she wrote. Okay, so neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to change itself constantly by creating new neural pathways and losing those which are no longer used. Encouraging the brains neuroplasticity is the key to sustained adult learning and emotional intelligence, which will help the brain remain open minded, intuitive, and able to overcome biases throughout adulthood. Unfortunately, keeping your brain plastic and flexible isn't as easy as doing a daily Sudoku, or crossword for the brain to rewire itself. It requires a sustained a require sustained practice of a new behavior, which will sufficiently challenged the brain to think in a new way. Imagine how difficult it is to learn a new language or take up a new instrument. This is how hard your brain needs to work to stimulate growth and forge new neural pathways. So I'll link to that. That piece by Dr. Tara Schwartz in the show notes space comm forward slash podcast or fishway.com forward slash 075 Because this episode is so wonderful. So neural pathways help our bodies do automatic things. Very Basic, helps our bodies do automatic things. And the Pathways is literally like a path in which these things are firing to say, do that I'll do this, okay. So when we think about thought, or behaviors,

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then a lot of our, our neural pathways are really important to know pathways. They, a lot of them are really important. Like, the ability to do things automatically, like brush our teeth, or drive a car, or to be able to repeat your phone number or your postcode. Or that CVV code at the back of your credit card when you put when you're buying shit online. Or knowing things like oh, yeah, the sky is blue, the sun will rise tomorrow. Then imagine if we had to constantly think about how to brush our teeth, you know, how if we went into like, you know, we're like, oh, we need to do that thing where we make our teeth clean. And where is that? Well, that we do that? Or the kitchen? No, it's the bathroom in the bathroom? Like, what is it that we use it the toilet brush? Does it hairbrush are known as toothbrush? What is this? What do we put it in? What do we put on it? You know, we don't need to think about we just do it right? You don't even think about it. And you know how you're driving a car, you get to work. And you're just like, you could have been asleep doing it because it's so automatic. And so they're great, right? So we don't have to we have these neural pathways formed. So we don't have to think about these things.

But then there are a lot of neural pathways that we have formed, that are not helpful. And they're not helpful because they're supporting behaviors and patterns and beliefs that don't serve us. So what is a belief, so a belief is something that you have decided is a fact, or is a truth, and that you've got to that conclusion through collected evidence, and experience. So I like to think about our beliefs as we have, you know, millions of different beliefs. And I like to think of them as suitcases. Imagine one of those old trunk suitcases and lots of different stickers on the outside being like I went to wherever I went to Alberto one time. And that is the belief inside the suitcase is all of the things that make up the belief is all of the evidence. And so some of our beliefs are very, you know, when you open up the suitcase, say, if I didn't know, I have the belief that broccoli is the best vegetable. And so if we open up my belief of broccoli is the best vegetable, you'll see maybe an article one time that I read in 2012. That said, broccoli is the best vegetable. And that's it. That's all that makes up my belief of broccoli is the best vegetable. And maybe someone could come and say actually, cauliflower is the best vegetable and and that belief of broccoli being the best vegetable will be thrown out because there's not that much evidence or, you know, support, you know, there's not that much in the suitcase that supports my belief that broccoli is the best vegetable. Now we have other beliefs that are huge, like we're carrying around that suitcase. And we're like, Okay, this belief, there is mountains of evidence, and supporting experiences, and anecdotes and all sorts of things in this suitcase. And some of them, you know, they Gray, so the belief of the sun will rise tomorrow. I mean, it's pretty much guaranteed, you know, the world could end but you have had your whole life of the sun rising in the morning to prove that it's going to rise. And so you've got however many years you've been alive. You've got, you know, scientific evidence that you are aware of, you've got all of society agreeing, yes, the sun is going to rise tomorrow. And so it would take a lot for you to unpack that suitcase, piece after piece for you to be like, Do you know what I don't believe the sun is gonna rise tomorrow. It could take some, you know, catastrophic like some evil villain taking the sun I don't know, something big happening.

And then you're like, Okay, well, it sounds like, you know, sounds like raising something big. But really, that is a big juicy kind of will not change for the rest of your life belief. And so we have these beliefs, which are just as filled as, as that, but with things which aren't

20:25

as close to fact, as that. So these things that could be unhelpful, like fat is bad, or my fat body is bad. And these could be very difficult to unpack, literally packing it, and looking at every piece of evidence, every experience, all of that stuff and saying, is this true? Do I want to believe this anymore? Do I want this in this suitcase? Do I want to burn this suitcase, the suitcase being the belief. And so we are lugging around all of these different suitcases, some of them service, some of them are not that important. Some of them have a couple of things in there. And some of them are really full. And some of them we do want to we do want to open and examine and change. So when we think about changing on neuro pathway, I like to hike and really kind of make it simple. And I like to think about our neural pathways as as roads. And our beliefs are the cars that drive on the road. So you have a belief, fat is bad. Your belief is the car is just whizzing down that road, unencumbered, so freshly laid road, there's no potholes, new tarmac, it's well signposted lights, everything is a dream road, right? It's just the road is got you've gone down that road a million times before, you don't even have to think about it, right. So that car is just whizzing down that road to the car being your belief, your thoughts, your your pattern, your habit. And then the road being the neural pathway is just automatic, okay.

And so when we try and change our beliefs, when we try and create new neural pathways, it's like you saying, as the driver of the car, okay, instead of going on that clearly Well, marked route that is easy. That is the path of least resistance instead of going that way, which is easy, simple, done a million times before, I'm going to take this car through that forest over there, that forest has no path, and there's a million trees and you wouldn't even get to inches, because it's covered in you know, bushes and the car can't go out. In fact, you have to get out of the car, you have to walk on foot and you can't even walk on foot because it's all tangled and you have to use like a machete to cut down the growth and, and to me is in you're like fuck that get back in the car, go on to the normal neuro pathway, the normal route. And so when. So you have this deeply held belief, your your fat body is bad. So when someone like me says, just believe your family is good, if gorgeous is amazing. Obviously, I don't say just believe but you know, you go I'm saying it's like you're trying to force your car to drive in that jungle. It's just not possible. So the thing is, and that's why it's hard. It's hard, right? It's hard. The thing is, it is actually possible. Not right, right in that very first time that very first time. You're getting a car and you're surveying the situation and you're saying no, but the next time you make that journey, having the thought my body my fat body is bad. You might be like, oh, yeah, you know what, I'm going to go and I'm going to spend 10 minutes just you know, knocking down that one tree so we can move an inch. And then then you know, in the meantime your your thought your car is going down that highway 100 times, and then maybe one time you might catch your thought and be like, Alright, okay, so this time, we're going to go back to that jungle, and we're going to down, knock down another tree. And

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by doing that slowly, you're going to move forward. You're going to knock down a few more, you're going to clear the path you're going to maybe you're going to lay some time back there, maybe you could have put up some lines. And as you're working on that, and improving that, that path, that that neural pathway, your old pathway is becoming neglected. And maybe there's some potholes that you still drive down there, but it's not as easy. So, you know, there's some sort of tension there. So when you're thinking, I'm a disgusting piece of shit, because I have a fat body, instead of being like you, that's 100% True, they'll be like, there'll be something in your mind when you're like hesitating of. I don't think that is actually true. But you know, I'm believing it at this moment. But let's explore a different belief that the what that what I look like does not make up my worth as a human being. And in that moment of having that, this explore that belief, what I look like, is not important. You're building that new path. And it's hard, but you're doing it. So it's like that is hard. It's like, in what it's like is, have you ever seen that illustration, where there's two people digging for gold, there's one person on the bottom, and they are digging for gold, and they're like, one rock away from finding the gold, and their back has turned and they're walking away, because they're fed up, and the person above is behind them, but is still going for it and is getting close to the gold. It's kind of like that is when you're doing this work. It's so hard, and you don't know how close you are to the gold. And so a lot of people just give up because it's hard, you know, if you're trying to challenge this thought, and it's like going through this jungle, you there's no visual representation, that you're you're succeeding that you're getting there, you can't see, okay, well, you know, there used to be 1000 trees in my path. And now there's only 100 I've done so well, I'm moving towards this. And before long, I know that that other pathway is going to be overgrown, and it's there's going to be trees grown there, and the lights are going to fade out eventually on that other path that used to be so comfortable, and normal for me to go down.

And so so people give up, because they can't see the process, or they don't understand the process. And the reason why this can be tricky is that we're not aware of the majority of the thoughts that we're having every day, right? We're having so many thoughts every day. And when we thought when we've had these beliefs for so long. It's just automatic, you know, like breathing, my breathing. And, of course, it's it's, it's bad to be fat. Of course, my body isn't attractive. Of course, I should hide my belly, of course, you know, of course. And there's no, there's no reason to question that. Because, of course, it's true. It's a fact. It's not a fact, it's a belief, but that's what our brains are saying. And so we're we're having to get into a state where we're training ourselves to try and catch one of those thoughts. And so catching one of those sorts, just when I say catching them is recognizing when you have one, and you might not recognize 999 99999 of them. But if you catch one, and you say okay, right, so I've caught one of these sorts, okay, I noticed that I'm having this thought of, I'm not good enough that I need to hide my belly, whatever. And instead of just automatically being like, just letting it go and being like, Yep, that's true. I'm bad. Being like, is it true? Is it though, and even that, just that questioning of is you're building that new path, you're cutting down a tree, you're clearing clearing the pathway just a little bit? And it could just be a second where like, is it? And then you're like, yeah, no, it is it is back onto that other pathway because you know, what else the truth appraisal shirt, or whatever. And then you might have another million thoughts, and then you'll catch another one. But you have to be trying to do it, right. You can't just be like, Okay, well, I'm just going to let all of these sorts of ways by and focus because they're all true. It's work and we're doing this work. Okay. So how to do this how to do this is catching those ones and to, to question them and to support ourselves in radical ways to change our beliefs. So you know, those suitcases which are believes

29:49

those two cases aren't, aren't shut, they're not permanently shut. And we're constantly either adding things in or they're staying the same for a bit We can be taking things out our society means that our suitcases around our body and the beliefs around our body, how many suitcases we have a constantly being filled with things that don't support our new beliefs of, we're okay, our body don't know, our bodies don't define us all that type of stuff. So just by existing in this world, you don't even have to be doing anything just by existing, that suitcase is getting filled, more and more and more with stuff to support the belief that your body is not okay. And that you need to behave and look in a certain way. And so you need to get radical in supporting the collection of evidence, experiences supporting the growth of the stuff that's in the new suitcase, the new suitcase being I'm okay. My body's okay. And so, this too, is difficult, because a lot of times people think, oh, yeah, well, I'm not dieting anymore. And I'm following a few people on Instagram who are fat. So, you know, don't dust my hands off, I'm done. When you've been in diet culture, and having all these fat phobic beliefs for years, you don't realize how much shit is in your life still. And so it's only when you go through stuff with, you know, with a fine tooth comb. Is that a fine tooth comb? Yeah. Or with someone who is able to spot these things more easily? Then you think, you know, holy shit, no wonder I'm struggling, you know, when, like with with, with people who work with me with clients, and we go through like, do you have this? Do you have this? Do you have this? Do you have this and they're like, well, fucking how, no wonder, I'm struggling to like myself when I have all of these things in my life that support the belief that I'm not good enough. And I didn't even realize that that was a problem. And removing them is incredibly helpful.

And the other thing to do is, is to get out of constant learning mode, or constant learning mode we spoken was spoken about it and many times on the podcast is that that learning, learning, learning, learning about fat acceptance, and never taking action, because action is scary, but action is where the good shit happens. And not saying that you shouldn't learn you should learn and also take action, okay? It's like one plus one equals two. So one plus, not taking action doesn't equal the two. Okay? So being in your head can be helpful to know what how you're you're thinking and feeling and all that type of stuff. But doing the things to prove to yourself that you can do the confident things in a structured way, is really going to help you build those neural pathways, right? You know, learning how to drive a car, you can't just learn by reading the manual, you have to go out and do the learning the car so that it becomes automatic, you don't get that automatic, I know how to get to work without getting to work, you know, driving the car, knowing the route, knowing what code to press to get into the building all that type of stuff, you have to do it right. Do you have to do those things to support creating those new neural pathways? This like this, this like riffing makes me think about so I've been watching reports drag drag race UK and and the US there on the on at the same time.

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Which is great. Love me some drag race. And I just fucking love the way that they walk down the runway just stomping and looking amazing. And I was like, I want to walk like them and I want to walk down the street. Like stomping, looking like an amazing human being. And so So I walked on my house, my My apartment is on the the end of the hallway in my apartment thing. So as I'm walking down to the elevator, trying to do this, you know, model walk, and I was like, I can't do it. Not that there's any mirrors that I didn't know what I look like, but like, I can't do it. And in my brain. I was like, they just know how to do it. They they just do it. They they they can do it at I can't do it. And then I was like, caught myself and I was like really Victoria. They can do it and you can't do it. They were born. They they emerged from the The womb being like, I know how to stomp on a runway. No, no, they didn't. What do you think they did Victoria? And I was like, they practiced. Yes. And they looked in a mirror and decided like, is this what I want to look like is it isn't working, and they did it 100 times. And now it's just automatically automatically can do this, and look amazing. And so I had got into that kind of online training Alliance, and now I can't do it, I can't do it. I'm not the type of person that can do it. Without being like, well, what is the reality, they probably gone up and down, walking up and down, knowing how to walk, learning how to walk, perfecting their walk a million times. And it's just automatic, you know, is that they just do it now. And it looks so easy, because I've done the work to learn how to slay a runway. Right? And because I tried it once, even though I had no idea what it look like, there's no mirrors, I was just like, I feel like I'm on reports drag race right in this moment, even though I'm just like walking down the corridor with my dog. You know? So it's kind of like a reality check of, but what have you done to get there? It made me think about like, one time I was in what was like, like North Carolina somewhere somewhere, somewhere on the on the right side of the United States.

And I was this this show this, this conference thing where no conference, what is it? When loads of people go and there's loads of things that you can buy? Come convention convention. Anyway, so I was doing like, there's a plus or a plus size, fashion show. And so I was I was I was walking in that. And there were actual real models there. And I was like, how to walk and they're like, do this do that. And I was like, Cool. And oh my god, it was it felt like such a disaster. Oh, at the end of the runway, some motherfucker put a fucking table, right. And so when you walk in, you can't look up. And I got to the end of the runway, and my toe went over the lip of the end of the runway, because I thought that I was going to be standing on that table because I didn't see it was a table it looked like the end of the runway to me. And I had to do kind of like the you know, in the cartoons, the swinging of the arms to make sure you don't fall. So that happened that happened to me. But the good thing is why I didn't I didn't steal the show because another one of the people who wouldn't was not a proper model fell on her literally fell on her knees.

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It was okay, because it wasn't there wasn't a professional thing. It wasn't like we're in Paris or something. It was just a very casual, kind of like, look at these things. So yeah, don't worry, though, this way, it's fine. It's fine. So I was like, I wasn't the only one act enough. Oh, yeah. So okay, so changing your beliefs and your neural pathways, how to do it. We need to catch the thoughts that we can as they come up, and we're not going to catch 99.99% of our thoughts. But if we can catch one of the thoughts and start to dissect it and start to question it, we can start to then build a new neural pathway. And the more that we do that, the more that new neural pathway becomes the path of least resistance, the more it seems like that's the right way for our thoughts and our beliefs and these automatic things to go that way instead of the old way. The old neural pathway, which is the one we want to make all but might be current. We want to make that lease, the least accessible, because we are examining our thoughts and, and pushing them down this new neural pathway that we're creating, even though it's really fucking hard. We also want to support ourselves in radical ways. And understand that there are so many things in our lives that are supporting beliefs that we no longer want to hold. And so getting really really strict with ourselves to remove all of the diet, culture and fatphobia from our lives. And if possible, getting someone who is in this place, you know of body acceptance or even body love to go through What we're doing with our lives and make sure that there are things that that we're not doing things or engaging in things which are not supporting our, our mental health in in positive ways. And also, we need to get out of Constant Learner mode. So that is constantly learning about fat positivity and fat politics and all that type of stuff, but never taking action to do the confident things because that is scary. So it's understandable if you're in Constant Learner mode, but we need to get out of it, we need to learn and do and the doing will really help support the creation of new beliefs, new neural pathways, new thoughts, new behaviors, because if we're doing the things, and it doesn't need to be the big scary things, it can just be just the first sort of step where collecting evidence to support the belief that we can do it. And the more that we avoid taking action, the more that is supporting the belief that we can't do it. Okay? So take action, support yourself, in your life with what you're looking at what you're consuming, who you're talking to what you're talking about what you're watching all that type of stuff, and examine the thoughts when they come up whenever you can catch just one of them because there'll be millions and examine, is this a fact that my fat body is disgusting? Is that an Is there a fact? Is it black and whites? A fact? What is it a belief in it could be a belief that I really, really, really believe? But is it a belief, and if it's a belief, I can start examining that and looking for evidence to support the new belief that I want. And the new belief is my body is okay. It's not about my body. Okay, occur occur. You feeling good? supporting you, is that helping you? I hope so.

Well, you know what I'm, I'm, I've been doing I've got a new cross stitch I got a new cross stitch Finally, after many months of waiting for things to arrive. My new cross stitch is so this is medieval thing. You've probably seen it around you have seen it around it says but hold a field in which I grew my flux. Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren. So for those on on YouTube, I'm holding up a picture of the the print out here we go. What its gonna look like it's like a medieval thing of

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people pointing towards a field which has no fucks in it. So I've been doing that so I've been having fun. I've been having fun I discovered that I've got a an ear piercing so I got my I got my top ear pierced when I was like 14 or 15 and even have my bottom ears pierced I just got my top here on my right ear pierced and had the piercing in for maybe two weeks before it got infected. My mum saw it and was like take that out of your ear. And what I thought closed over it never closed over. Because I think like most piercings never close over. They're just like hiding and I was like I wonder if that piercings still there and I put up an earring there and it was there is a fucking person in my ear that was big has been hiding so I've got a new painting in my ears. Very cool. I've not had it for like 2030 however many years ago, I was 1422 years ago. Yeah, so that's pretty cool. I'm amazing. Yeah, okay, well thank you for hanging out with me today on the podcast and I will see you next time. Stay fierce rowdy goodbye

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thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and wants to know when the doors open to fears fatty Academy which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic beliefs and learn to love your fat body. Then go to phase fatty.com forward slash waitlist again that is phase fatty.com. Forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist for when first party Academy signature program opens