Episode 65 Transcript

Welcome to the Fierce Fatty Podcast. I'm your host, Victoria Welsby and this is episode 65. Today, we're talking about Fatphobic Reality TV Shows.

I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, Best Selling Author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self esteem to being a courageous and confident Fierce Fatty who loves every inch of this jelly. Society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter? Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed? Or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century? So how do you stop negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the Fierce Fatty podcast Let's begin.

Unknown Speaker 1:22

Hello, hello, fatty how the devil are you? How's life? He feeling good. Thanks for tuning in today. This is actually my first podcast episode recording in 2021. I know it's like

Unknown Speaker 1:39

maybe the end of January. By the time you're listening to this. But I've pre recorded lots of different episodes because I have moved back to Vancouver, Canada. And so I wanted to give myself some some time off to be able to move country. So yes.

Unknown Speaker 2:01

I'm in Canada. I am currently in an air b&b. And my view right now is pretty spectacular. I'm on the 30th floor in a

Unknown Speaker 2:15

in a building, downtown Vancouver. Now did you just hear that? That was like a beeping from a truck or whatever. So I'm doing this podcast recording to see what to do to do the podcast. But also, I wanted to do it here in this Airbnb because I want to see if you can hear any of the noises of the city. I guess if a if a you know, a woowoo a fire truck or an ambulance or a police car goes by then you probably hear it. But I don't know if you can hear the whole like the hustle and bustle like I'm 30 or 30 floors up. So it gives me kind of a bit of a buffer.

Unknown Speaker 2:53

But yeah, I'm deciding where to live in Vancouver at the moment whether it be downtown, which actually not a massive amount of people live downtown. It's more kind of, well, that's not true. 1000s of people do. But still a lot of layers, lots of different areas in Vancouver, which are nice to live into. So this will be decided I'm going to listen back to this. And if it's like, really annoying, I don't think it will be I think it's fine. So if you're like I'm not gonna listen to the episode, because it's going to be really annoying. It's probably it's going to be fine. It's going to be fine. So, I arrived in what days it now it's June 7 And I got in on the 31st so I'm seven days into my quarantining period. Honestly, I quarantine I just thought, oh my gosh, it's going to be so difficult and loads gonna hate it. It's gone by really quickly. I think you know, this quarantine life, it suits suits my personality or something. I don't know. I do really want to obviously go outside. But there's a balcony here. So, you know, I can look at people longingly being like, Oh, I'm so close to Vancouver, but I'm not actually quite here yet.

Unknown Speaker 4:05

So, yeah, getting here was a nightmare. Now I'm not like me, I always feel I feel we're telling you that I'm in Vancouver because I don't want to encourage people to travel. But you know, Vancouver is my home. And I've been waiting since Jan last year, actually to make the move back here. And I just thought, you know, now's the time.

Unknown Speaker 4:29

And it was quite the pallava honestly, because because I took Dougal with me, I took Google to Ireland with me, and then I took Google back. And

Unknown Speaker 4:39

yet to take a dog while going to a country which is not allowing to get into Canada, you have to be Canadian. I'm a permanent resident. And so that makes me you know, allowed to come in if you're a permanent resident. So, you know, no one was really on the plane which was cool. But I

Unknown Speaker 5:00

My flights were changed last minute. And to get a flight where I could take my dog

Unknown Speaker 5:08

because my stress levels were through the roof because Dougal is eight kilos, right, so, eight kilos, I think that's like 15 pounds. That is the limit on how big a dog can be to travel in cabin. And you're not allowed to take dogs in the stone on many airlines over the Christmas period. Now I wasn't intending to go over the Christmas period. Originally, I was meant to be going on like gym today, actually, yeah today. But then my flight got canceled. And so I had to find an alternative flight. And that was the only one available on New Year's Eve that could take a dog but it was really touch and go because

Unknown Speaker 5:49

they allow eight kilos with the bag and Dougal's eight kilos, and his bag was about one, two kilos, maybe that sounds like a lot. But it's like a I got a really kind of a luxury suite bag where all the sides folded down and so that he'd be uber comfortable during the trip. And he did take full use of those folding downsides. And he stretched out and went into different compartments. Those are good. But anyway, so that when they when they weighed him, it was 10 kilos. And I was like

Unknown Speaker 6:24

and they didn't he didn't say anything, which is lucky because I was reading all the all the boards online about like, what if he is more than what they say they allow? And

Unknown Speaker 6:36

yeah, so I think I was just lucky. It was just a pallava. And then two days before my flight, my flight was going into Amsterdam, two days before the flight. Three days Sorry, I got an email saying Amsterdam no longer is allowing anyone into Amsterdam, even just to change at the airport, unless they have a negative COVID test. So this is over Christmas, right? So luckily, I managed to get eight and get a get a COVID test and it was negative Hurrah.

Unknown Speaker 7:10

You know, if you're worried about getting the test, it's fine. They just get like a cotton swab. And you know, it's the length of a javelin, and they just, you know, put it in your nose and like take your brain a little bit and it's over in just like a second. It's not actually the size of a javelin. It's just you know,

Unknown Speaker 7:26

it just feels like that when they like burn it in keep it keeps going keeps going you think when is this ever gonna end? It's actually probably like one second, you know length of, of being like, oh, it's something in my nose but it's fine.

Unknown Speaker 7:39

Yeah, so

Unknown Speaker 7:42

it was a bit of pallava so but I'm here now I'm here now I'm in my Airbnb. I'm super excited to be in Vancouver.

Unknown Speaker 7:49

And the Airbnb b&b. I mean, it's really weird. It's really weird. So it's in. It's really nice. A really nice building. It's in a great area in downtown Vancouver and

Unknown Speaker 8:01

it's all you know, a new is new and all that sort of stuff. But I think the guy who is doing this Airbnb has never done Airbnb before, and doesn't know how to host people. Because there's so many things. Okay, so the first thing right, I got a permit. The place has no decoration. It's fine. I don't care about that. But the only piece of decoration in the whole place is a shirtless picture of the host

Unknown Speaker 8:31

in a frame and it's large it's not like you know, just a it's big the size like the size of a laptop that kind of size like big framed shirtless picture of the host

Unknown Speaker 8:44

Oh, it was like, What the fuck is that is like, does he think that I'm gonna see this picture of him with his top off and be like, Oh, I'm gonna give you like five stars just for flattery.

Unknown Speaker 8:59

It's so weird. I sent a video to my sister and she's like, What the fuck is what? I've turned the video over because I you know, I'm not interested in seeing that really.

Unknown Speaker 9:08

Anyway, so that's like the first thing this is weird. Then I go in and there's like, um, like where are the towels he's left just a flannel.

Unknown Speaker 9:17

Like you know like this tiny little square you know towel thing tiny tiny you know type the tiniest square thing that you can get. He's left just a flannel

Unknown Speaker 9:30

Unknown Speaker 9:32

so I managed to go round I have to go through go through stuff and I found I found a tower I found a towel.

Unknown Speaker 9:39

But then all of the other towels were like you know stained stained really badly. God what is this? And so many so the kitchen. I don't know about you. This is this really annoys me. I hate kitchen gadgets, you know, stupid kitchen gadgets, you know, like

Unknown Speaker 9:57

a waffle maker. Unless you're making waffles every day.

Unknown Speaker 10:00

Like a waffle maker or something like that just takes up too much space. His kitchen is filled to the brim with all these fucking gadgets yet he has no kettle or toaster. Now I don't know if that is a British thing, but like that is the bait like the basic thing you would have in a kitchen would be a microwave, a cooker, a toaster, and kettle. He has a microwave in the cooker because it's installed. I didn't get a choice about that. We didn't um, so and there's no you know, anything like tea, coffee, there's no salt and pepper.

Unknown Speaker 10:39

There is so but his cupboards are filled to the brim with

Unknown Speaker 10:45

you know 50,000 Tupperware containers. And so then when I went to make a sandwich, try to find a knife, the cutlery drawer is filled with forks, spoons, different accoutrement, stupid gadgets,

Unknown Speaker 10:59

no butter knives, no normal knives, no knives, which is not a chopping knife. What the fuck is what is. And then so then I'm looking for it. I'm looking and finally find a bunch of knives wedged in a drawer stuck in this thing, and I had to get a spoon to get them out and put them in the in the cutlery. Why is I just don't understand. I just don't understand it.

Unknown Speaker 11:25

And it is just bizarre. It's like,

Unknown Speaker 11:28

yeah, he's obviously never been an Airbnb hosts before. And, yeah, so. And the thing is, I can't go out and get the things I need, you know, like salt and pepper I can get I had a food delivery.

Unknown Speaker 11:40

And it's kind of pricey to get food delivered. And so, you know, I don't want to just get a food delivery just for salt and pepper and, you know, tea bags, and actually, summer intern.

Unknown Speaker 11:52

She does the same. Same stuff as me, she's got a podcast, who's the Marine in my French, I've got a real life friend in real life. Summer is actually gonna, I've got some things delivered to her house. So she's going to drop them off for me. And I'm going to, she's going to drop off some tea and some other things that I need as well. So thank you, Santa.

Unknown Speaker 12:10

Yeah, so another seven days of quarantining, and then I'm free. And I can go and

Unknown Speaker 12:19

see shit with my eyeballs, go and touch the ground and

Unknown Speaker 12:24

see Google again, because Google is with his, with his family, with my ex boyfriend. So we got to go to we got to go together

Unknown Speaker 12:36

567 years ago, and then when we broke up with kind of joint ish custody, I'm like, 90% custody, but then he can have him and play with him whenever he wants sort of thing. So that was nice. He's able to look after him. While I'm quarantine and, and we're, well I'm in Airbnb, because you can't have dogs in the Airbnb, and I can't quarantine and walk the dog at the same time. So what I miss do

Unknown Speaker 12:59

always like, send me pictures. What is he doing? Or is he okay? What's happening? It's funny how you get so attached to animals, right? Like, typically you okay? And I'm thinking, Oh, do Google things. I've abandoned him. And my ex is saying, and we follow me around a lot. And I'm like, yeah, he's probably a terrified is going to get abandoned again.

Unknown Speaker 13:21

And yeah, so it'd be nice to see me. So this episode, we're talking about reality TV, fat shows. And I just realized, like, I've been already talking for 14 minutes. So this is like the longest intro that you've ever had. For me. It's because something happened in my life. Something to doubt you like, you know, anyway.

Unknown Speaker 13:45

I'm presume that you're interested. And you prefer to like, fucking skip forward, get on with that Jesus. Anyway. So I got an email from someone and

Unknown Speaker 13:55

with a question, and I want to answer that question in this podcast. So let me read out the question.

Unknown Speaker 14:02

You're different. So this is an email I got a couple of weeks ago, probably.

Unknown Speaker 14:08

Hello, Victoria. I don't know why split like that. Let's presume that's how this person speaks.

Unknown Speaker 14:15

My name is Alex, I have been listening to your podcast for a couple of months now. And I really enjoy it. I have a question about intuitive eating. And that I thought would be awesome. If you could answer on your podcast on shows like my 600 pound life. People talk about eating sometimes up to x xx calories a day, on nutrient low foods every day for many years in some cases, aren't they doing intuitive eating? It doesn't seem like it balances out like it should. It seems like Intuitive Eating is good on paper, but doesn't always work out in practice. Is that right? Or do I have it wrong?

Unknown Speaker 15:00

I don't mean to be offensive or fat phobic. I'm just curious. Thank you for your time, Alex. So

Unknown Speaker 15:10

this question is really interesting because I know a lot of people see the shows. And in I was in so I had to have a different r&b Because my flight was changed anyway. So I was at my first NBA where I was where I was there for four days, because my flight was changed. The host had cable TV. Now I haven't, I am not exposed to the ship because I only watched things on my laptop, you know, like Netflix and Amazon Prime or whatever. So I don't get to see these adverts, and I was watching

Unknown Speaker 15:49

TLC thing. I guess there's a show that I like I've seen just on my youtube 90 Day fiance. If you know if you watch this kind of stuff, you know what I'm in it's the show is basically like people going and marrying people who are abroad or people from abroad coming to the US and marrying people, you know, anyway, is trash is trash TV. So I'm watching these marathons of 30 day, 90 day fiance

Unknown Speaker 16:20

pillow talk. And in between adverts are coming up for

Unknown Speaker 16:27

these different shows not this one my 600 pound life, but a different one, where there's two sisters who are looks like Infini fat people.

Unknown Speaker 16:38

Very, very big, fat people. And every time this advert would come on, I put like Oh, fuck off like this, I can see just from the advert that the show is toxic as fuck. And I have never seen my 600 pound life, Bert, I have.

Unknown Speaker 17:00

I've seen shows similar to it, or maybe even that show when I was in diet culture. So if that's been around for years, and I have probably seen it, when I used to watch the biggest loser I used to then also watch those shows where they'd be a super fat person. And the show would be like, Oh, look how fucking disgusting this person is. Shouldn't be fat like them because they're a loser. So I've seen shows like that. And I presume these shows are If not, it's not if it's not the same show, or, you know, it's very similar in the concept. Like, it's not like, Oh, hey, here's a really cool fat person living their life and having fun, and it's all good and look at them being, you know, a good person. I don't think that's what shows up. Right? So

Unknown Speaker 17:45

first things first,

Unknown Speaker 17:48

to answer Alex's question, people get confused as to what Intuitive Eating is. So people who don't really know what Intuitive Eating is they think it's an quote unquote, excuse to be greedy. And big quote unquote, they're big quotes around excuse and greedy. They think it's an excuse to be greedy. And so they think that people say, I'm an intuitive eater, therefore, I want to eat

Unknown Speaker 18:21

27 hours a day. I don't even want to sleep because all I want to do is eat. And so that so some people think that that's what Intuitive Eating is.

Unknown Speaker 18:30

And some people think that intuitive eating is

Unknown Speaker 18:35

meaning that you don't listen to what your body wants, and that you have a disordered relationship with food. And that's what they think Intuitive Eating is. Because it makes sense that people think that because

Unknown Speaker 18:49

for a lot of people, what is the opposite of diet? Or what's the alternative to dieting, because if they're not controlling their food, if they're not monitoring what they're eating, they know what's happened to them in the past is that they go on, you know, eating a lot of things, maybe binging that type of stuff, and there's nothing wrong with binging. And so they think, okay, Intuitive Eating is binging being out of control.

Unknown Speaker 19:19

Just kind of being self destructive, kind of

Unknown Speaker 19:24

when in reality, it's a very natural, you know, when you stop dieting, it's very natural and needed for you to feed yourself again, because you've been so bloody deprived. It's like, you know, you're in starvation. Imagine if you've, you know, been kept in

Unknown Speaker 19:43

you know, kept somewhere away from food, and then you're rescued. And they say, here's some food you're gonna be like, Oh, fucking give me the food. Give me the food, right? Because you're you're dying. And that's what's happening when you come out of dieting. And so people a lot of people presume

Unknown Speaker 20:00

that that is what Intuitive Eating is. It's being at that stage where you're constantly like, Oh my God, give me the food and I just need to eat all the food, which is a natural response. But that's not what Intuitive Eating is intuitive eating is listening to your body and your brain listening to what it wants, and honoring that. And that can look like a lot of different things. So for example, because I'm an intuitive eater, so for example,

Unknown Speaker 20:31

when I first got to Vancouver, obviously quarantining, not allowed out and the first Airbnb I was in didn't have a kitchen. It just had a microwave. And so I got a few groceries, but I couldn't make my my dinner. And so for the three or four days, I was there. I got takeaway delivered. And so I had a night the first night had a Domino's because it was just down the road. I love Domino's. And the next night, I had sushi, been missing sushi so much. I've already said it on the podcast several times. So

Unknown Speaker 21:03

I googled sushi. And then I had, oh, there's a vegetarian burger from a fast food place called a NW in Canada. So I got the vegetable burger. So good. And then I got a burrito from this vegetarian burrito place, which is really good. Anyway. And so now I'm in this new Airbnb, and it has a kitchen. And after four nights of having food delivered to me, my my brain and my body said,

Unknown Speaker 21:39

Do you know what you really fancy? His vegetable soup? Make a nice big vegetable sit on it. Yeah. Yeah, carrots and broccoli and cabbage. And

Unknown Speaker 21:49

yeah, delicious. Isn't wasn't as good as my mom's soup. I don't know what I did. Because there's no fucking salt and pepper in this place.

Unknown Speaker 22:00

So I had vegetable soup. And I was like, This is what my body needs. Because obviously, I hadn't had enough vegetables in those days where I didn't have access to a kitchen.

Unknown Speaker 22:10

And as you know, and that's intuitive eating right, is listen to what your body wants and needs. And, and sometimes your body wants food, which is

Unknown Speaker 22:19

what people would say is quote unquote, unhealthy. Still lots of great stuff on great stuffing all of that food that I ate, and none of that, or, you know, know that. I even hate them. Were saying that word unhealthy. Because I don't want people to think having sushi is unhealthy. It's fucking not, it's not at all, you know, or having a pizza is means you know, you're an unhealthy person, you know, I've got a whole big thing about, you know, deciding what is and isn't unhealthy. And this is what you know how people perceive certain things, they probably wouldn't perceive sushi as that I think people perceive sushi as unhealthy, unhealthy Anyway, whatever I can't, I'm trying to work out how people perceive certain foods.

Unknown Speaker 23:01

So me kind of, you know, I listening to my body, and then some days, I couldn't listen to my body because I had to order food in and so I had to do something which was, you know, meaning that I got food that I wasn't hungry. And then when I could, then I could, you know, eat some more things that my body wanted. And, you know, that's kind of come what it look like, everyone is different. So, don't think that me saying I had vegetable soup means that you need to be going and having vegetable soup. If you've had, you know, something that you think is not healthy the night before. Please don't take that from it. You know, it's just like kind of listening to your body. Okay? So, Intuitive Eating is not only eating one thing or one type of food because your body probably doesn't want that. So if you're listening to what your body wants, sometimes your body is like, I'm really fucking tired. Can you just order a pizza and we can just go to bed. And that's what your body wants. And maybe another day, your body's like, oh, you know, it's really hot out I really fancy a nice crisp salad. And that's what your body wants. And sometimes you're you might be a no, maybe you're sad and or maybe you're lonely or you're missing your family and you say you make your mom's stew or something, you know, and so you connect with food on an emotional level. And that could be what it looks like for some people.

Unknown Speaker 24:23

And it can look like at the beginning needing to eat foods that are less nutrient nutrient rich, because you've been denying yourself those things when you're in the diet binge cycle. And that is the the first stage of intuitive eating is allowing yourself all of the foods which you have denied yourself and all of the foods that in your brain you've decided are, you know, bad in some way.

Unknown Speaker 24:50

And sometimes, some people who say they are an intuitive eater, they're not actually an intuitive eater. So they hear that phrase into

Unknown Speaker 25:00

To return, they presume it means I just eat everything that I want. Which is kind of true, which is true, right? You kind of eat, you know, you eat what you want. And what you want is all sorts of different things, right? So they hear that phrase, and they just say, okay, the way that I'm eating is called intuitive eating, so that people will leave them alone, and not constantly talk about what they're eating. And so that people don't judge them. And so that they can say, you know, I'm an intuitive eater, therefore, I'm listening to what my body wants. So leave me alone, which is absolutely fine. Like it's fine. Whatever we need to do to cope and live and survive living in the world with a fat body is absolutely fine.

Unknown Speaker 25:40

And Intuitive Eating means that you have done or are doing the work to heal your relationship with food.

Unknown Speaker 25:50

Most people, so many people have a disordered relationship with food. And obviously, it's a spectrum of how disordered

Unknown Speaker 25:59

it's so normalized in our society to feel guilt

Unknown Speaker 26:04

for eating at all, so most people do have a disordered relationship with food, maybe even, it's just a little bit, or maybe it's, you know, full blown eating disorder. And so intuitive eating is working on healing facts. And feeding yourself in a way that is true to you, you know, what you want a need, really, versus

Unknown Speaker 26:30

eating in a

Unknown Speaker 26:33

kind of a reactive way of, of, you know, I should be being better or, or I've been good, so I'm allowed to be bad, and you know, that type of thing.

Unknown Speaker 26:43

So, in regards to the show,

Unknown Speaker 26:48

so,

Unknown Speaker 26:50

obviously, I am not going to watch any of these shows now, because I refuse to damage my mental health like that, and to expose myself to rampant violence fatphobia and support these types of shows that profit off,

Unknown Speaker 27:09

continually exposing me even exposing, exploiting fat people.

Unknown Speaker 27:17

The way that I see is just like a modern day, quote, unquote, freak show. Obviously, these people are not freaks. But that is the way that it is positioned. This is the way that the fat people are depicted in these shows of, Whoa, look at these disgusting human beings. Don't you just feel better about yourself because you're not as fat as them and because you're not eating the things that they eat.

Unknown Speaker 27:41

So I am not supporting that by watching it. No way. And I'm not going to damage my mental health. If you're watching those shows, and you're working to love your body, you're working to become an intuitive eater. They are hurting you full stop. No questions. They are damaging your mental health. They are influencing you into hating fat bodies hating your fat body into learning what foods you're allowed to eat and not allowed to eat. Stop watching them. Seriously. Stop watching them. They are bad real brain.

Unknown Speaker 28:22

So I don't know if because Alex says, Isn't this intuitive? Eating them eating X amount of calories a day? Well,

Unknown Speaker 28:32

I don't know if the person in the show says I'm an intuitive eater. But say if they even if they haven't said I'm intuitive eater, and they happen to be an intuitive eater, we don't know. I don't know, maybe you don't maybe you know, because you've watched the shows. But

Unknown Speaker 28:47

if they are an intuitive, intuitive eater, we don't know where they are on their intuitive eating journey. Are they at that stage where they are allowing all foods without judgment?

Unknown Speaker 29:00

And you can be like, Yeah, but they've, you know, yeah, but they've been eating like that for years. Well, how long does that stage last? It can be for years. How long is a piece of string because how long that stage lasts is, is dependent on how much of a damaged relationship you have had with food, and how much you're able to allow yourself to heal your relationship with food without judgment. So people really struggle at this stage because they are allowing themselves food and that feels good. But then they get like guilt, you know, afterwards being like, I can't believe that I ate XYZ. And because of that guilt, it's almost like they're they're stalled. You know, they can't move forward because they feel guilt and so they might be allowing themselves food but if they are saying that being bad by allowing themselves food, then they kind of can't move forward. So we don't know where they are. If they are doing an intuitive eating, if they were they are on their intuitive eating journey we just don't know

Unknown Speaker 30:00

We don't know, their mental health status, we don't know if they have an eating disorder. We don't know if the cameras are dramatizing stuff to make good TV, actually, we know the cameras are dramatizing stuff to make good TV.

Unknown Speaker 30:20

And as well, we don't know, if, you know, because that the the, the, the people in the show obviously paid, depending on if they're, you know, a long term people long term show.

Unknown Speaker 30:36

Because one of the shows I saw was a series featuring two people, the same two people. So, if that if that's their only source of income, they need to make it interesting, right? It wouldn't be interesting, if they were like, oh, yeah, you know, I'm a fat person. And, you know, I'm just, you know, a normal person and I different types of food. And, you know, I'm actually not that interesting, which is what most of us are, right? And so maybe there is that need to feel like, I need to make it more interesting, because I don't, that, you know, another series won't get picked up. And then I won't have a job. And this is my only source of income. And we know that it's harder for fat people to get a job, especially if they are a super fat person or an Infini fat person that, you know, very, very hard. And so if you knew that you're being able to live, pay rent, pay your bills depended on whether you were interesting to watch, you probably words,

Unknown Speaker 31:40

do you know depict yourself in ways that the camera wants to see? Or they presume that

Unknown Speaker 31:50

that you might behave like and as well? Like, obviously, because I've been on a TV show, I know exactly the kind of shit that they pull to create a story.

Unknown Speaker 32:05

Lord, how do I ever so, you know, we're not seeing we see, I presume it's like a 30 minute show, 60 minutes show, whatever. You know, maybe it's a day in the life and or a week in the life of these people. And we don't know what has been left on the cutting room floor, do we, we don't know if there's a scene where they are,

Unknown Speaker 32:28

you know, doing things that don't perpetuate stereotypes of fat people. We don't know.

Unknown Speaker 32:37

The full story we can't know. And we presume, like when I watch these shows, I'm like, not the shows. But you know, any reality TV show, you know, like, the 90 day fiance thing I was so entertaining about being like, Oh my God, that one person is a real dick. And that one person is really nice. And you know, and then I presume that it's true, you know, I presume? Well, you know, this is what they're showing. And it's true. But it's not, you know, and it's really hard for me to remember that even though I've been on TV and in seeing exactly what they are able to do. But you know, kind of piecing together little things to make a story.

Unknown Speaker 33:14

So for example, when I was on the TV show that I was on,

Unknown Speaker 33:19

there was the quote unquote, good fatties. So the fat people who didn't like being fat who were trying to lose weight, and they were the bad fatties, me and others who were like, You know what, it's fine to be fat and you can, you know, eat whatever foods that you want. And we all pretty much ate the same foods, right? We would have dinner most nights where one or two people would cook. And

Unknown Speaker 33:46

the foods that we're eating were kind of like a variety of different foods.

Unknown Speaker 33:51

There was a birthday while we're there and someone made a cake.

Unknown Speaker 33:55

So when the show came out, you see me only eating

Unknown Speaker 34:02

cake

Unknown Speaker 34:05

crisps

Unknown Speaker 34:08

for you know, food that people would say is unhealthy. And you saw

Unknown Speaker 34:16

others, the good fatties, the ones that didn't like being fat eating salad.

Unknown Speaker 34:24

And I was like, we all ate the same salad and the same cake. Why is it that they're showing me eating food? Like it was, it was gratuitous? Like, there was one one thing where

Unknown Speaker 34:40

we had to watch a video of someone having stomach amputation surgery. And just before I had been swimming, I'd been out swimming. And everyone while I was swimming had had cake for the person's birthday. And I jumped into the pool and I was like, You know what, I'll have my cake later was when I came out the pool. You know when you when you dance?

Unknown Speaker 35:00

Women, it makes you hungry, don't know if that's just me, anyway. And so I was like, Okay, I'm gonna have that piece of cake now, but everyone's already had. And so I sat down eating the cake. And so, you know, they showed everyone

Unknown Speaker 35:13

together, and I'm the only one eating cake. Whereas 10 minutes earlier, I would have been the only one not eating cake. But they didn't show that because it made a better short story to show that I was, you know, some greedy, out of control around food person. Okay, so take what they're showing with a massive pinch of salt, massive pinch, pinch of salt, and even what the people how they're portraying themselves, because

Unknown Speaker 35:43

this is not created in a vacuum. There's lots of different things going on here, right.

Unknown Speaker 35:49

And another thing to consider as well is that I never considered this when I was judging others for what they ate. Everyone needs a different amount of food every day. And people with bigger bodies, guess what, they need more food, they need more calories, just to sustain life, just to

Unknown Speaker 36:18

keep alive, right? So someone with a bigger body, they have a bigger, they have a bigger body. It's like having a bigger engine, in a car or a bigger car versus a smaller car. You know, that smaller car uses less gas uses less petrol, the bigger car needs more, because it's bigger.

Unknown Speaker 36:40

People have bigger bodies need more food? And so if I was to judge someone who was bigger than me saying, well by eight 10% More than I did? Well, yeah, because they need to to live, you know?

Unknown Speaker 36:56

Or, you know, 10% I'm just throwing out there. We don't actually know because everyone is different. Even if someone had the same exact body size. There's their the way that their bodies use energies can be totally different as well. So we just don't know, right? We just don't know.

Unknown Speaker 37:11

So the answer to Alex, its Alex's question is, we just don't know what's going on here. We just don't know. Intuitive Eating isn't, you know, being like, Do you know what, I'm only going to eat donuts 17 times a day for the rest of my life. That doesn't sound like intuitive eating.

Unknown Speaker 37:31

It could be you know, like if someone is stuck in that stage where they're not allowing themselves to eat doughnuts, and

Unknown Speaker 37:38

you know, where we just don't know, we don't have all the information.

Unknown Speaker 37:42

TV shows are manipulative, and show us stuff that is entertaining. Would you be less entertained? If they said they weigh less calories and that you presumed or they matla calories that you thought was okay? Or would you be more entertained? If a calorie more calories than you thought was okay? You're more entertained? If it's shocking, right?

Unknown Speaker 38:09

And these these shows are not there to depict these people in positive in a positive light. They are created to perpetuate fatphobia.

Unknown Speaker 38:20

And so what if they eat XYZ amount of calories a day? They can do as they damn well please, you can do what you want with your body. I can do what I want with my body. These people on the shows they can do what they want with their body.

Unknown Speaker 38:39

If that is what Intuitive Eating is to them, then who are we to judge?

Unknown Speaker 38:48

What is going on when the cameras aren't rolling?

Unknown Speaker 38:51

Are they showing the times that they eat different types of food?

Unknown Speaker 38:56

We just don't know. But we do know that

Unknown Speaker 39:02

they show us things which are more is which is more entertaining.

Unknown Speaker 39:07

What if getting a tiny bit of pleasure from food or even a lot of pleasure from food is what's keeping someone alive?

Unknown Speaker 39:17

If their only source of comp comfort

Unknown Speaker 39:20

is, is food if their only source of joy is food

Unknown Speaker 39:27

then

Unknown Speaker 39:29

who are we to say that they shouldn't seek comfort

Unknown Speaker 39:35

when they might not be able to get

Unknown Speaker 39:39

comfort and joy from anywhere else in life. And of course it's great to be able to add in different sources of of you know, comfort or joy or different sources to to cope and you know learn different strategies and and have a variety of coping skills versus

Unknown Speaker 40:00

Just one because what if that one is not, you know, accessible and blah, blah, blah? But what if that's not accessible to them? What if they are at No, in a global pandemic, and they can't leave their house and see their friends and they can't see their therapist, or they can't afford to see a therapist, or, you know, and life is shit at the moment, and the only thing that brings them a little bit of joy, is having food that nourishes their brain.

Unknown Speaker 40:33

Like, shit. And what was the what is the alternative? You know, if their life is, you know, someone's life is so bleak. And you say that one little bit of joy that you get, you should not be doing it, you're a bad person, if you you're a bad person, if you seek comfort in food, you shouldn't do that. You should stop. Well, what's the alternative? They die? Because their mental health is good. And you know, in a good place.

Unknown Speaker 41:02

Yeah, so let's not let's not let's not judge cuz we don't have the, we don't have the information. And a reminder watching shit like this increases our levels of fatphobia, which hurts us and hurts others. And supports shows like this, they exploit fat people for entertainment.

Unknown Speaker 41:24

And if it's your guilty pleasure, like a lot of people like I, it's my guilty pleasure. Like how I get a different one, like, get like, watch 90 Day fiance instead, like watch any other trashy show, which is not about

Unknown Speaker 41:40

how awful fat people are.

Unknown Speaker 41:43

There's loads of trashy shows you can watch.

Unknown Speaker 41:46

Because this is this is hurting you. Even if you're not fat. If you're not fat, it's still teaching you that you shouldn't be fat, that other people shouldn't be fat. And that's not good. That's not a good look. That's nine No,

Unknown Speaker 42:00

it's not good. It's not gonna it's not gonna work out. It's not gonna work out. It's not gonna read. Yeah. So let's, let's throw that show in the bin. Let's put that show in the bin. Let's eat it into the sun as the kids would say, let's get rid of it. And let's not judge others. And I know like, you know, this email is, you know, not being like, Oh, these people are bad because they're eating food. But you know, a curious about, is that what Intuitive Eating is and, and?

Unknown Speaker 42:36

And it's complicated, right? It's complicated. Really, we don't know. We don't you know, we don't know what's going on with people's lives. Unless you're that person

Unknown Speaker 42:45

or not.

Unknown Speaker 42:48

Yeah, so hey, over Christmas, over the holidays. Over my hometown, I released a brand new product.

Unknown Speaker 43:02

Drew it's called boundary balls. And it's a mini course. And basically what boundary boss is, is is 100% online and

Unknown Speaker 43:16

it's going to help you put in boundaries when people are

Unknown Speaker 43:21

being fat phobic. It's going to help you increase your confidence because you're going to know all the stats and facts around why learning to love your fat body

Unknown Speaker 43:34

is the right move for you. And so if someone in your life is like Yeah, but being fat is unhealthy in boundary boss, you've got all the stats and all of the articles and all that type of stuff to show actually

Unknown Speaker 43:46

that my swinging tits

Unknown Speaker 43:48

so what so you're gonna know how to say, You know what to say when people are being judgmental when people are, you know, coming at you with well meaning concerns or straight up a bigotry without getting flustered and setting boundaries. Okay? So boundary boss, it means that you don't need to be surrounded by fatphobia which hurts your confidence and mental health. And you can do all this in four days. Yes. After boss says just $47 Now true.

Unknown Speaker 44:33

So the value of everything is 497 but you can get it for $47 You know, because I'm just like, I'm not being nice. So yeah, so if you've been wanting to work with me and you haven't been able to afford to because first at the academy is my my big program, and it's a bigger investment. And so if you have wanting to work with me and you are looking to feel more confident with knowing what

Unknown Speaker 45:00

to say when people are being people, when people are being people, when you call the worker talking about the latest diet or when you're, you know, Uncle Keith's shares some hilarious fat phobic meme on Facebook, or when you're having dinner with your, your sister, and she says, Do you need to eat that or your mom or whoever? If you need to work on that stuff, then boundary bath is VA and he's only $47. So go to facebook.com forward slash, boundary boss, boundary boss facebook.com forward slash boundary boss. I don't know how long it's gonna say $47 for.

Unknown Speaker 45:42

So, if you want it, go get it. If you don't want it, don't get it. I'm not the boss of you. Do what you want. And, yeah, I hope your January is going, Okay, hope your life is going okay.

Unknown Speaker 45:58

For January, so I was doing like my goals and yet, right. So the last couple of the last, like, I was looking at my last few years of, you know, what I want to do and what I've achieved that year, and I write out every year I write out 50 things I've done. And you know, last year, I was like, oh,

Unknown Speaker 46:18

all these amazing things. And, and this and this year, still lots of amazing things. But also,

Unknown Speaker 46:26

I'm alive, I didn't die. I washed my hair, I got out of bed in the morning, I went to the doctor's I saw my therapist, like my expectations for what I should be achieving, or what is good. Have totally shifted because of 2020. And now my goals for like 2021 is stay alive. Find somewhere to live because you know, I need to find an apartment in Vancouver and

Unknown Speaker 47:02

feed myself you know,

Unknown Speaker 47:05

go to the doctor if I'm sick. See my therapist. So really kind of basic things. So

Unknown Speaker 47:13

yeah, if you're feeling like, oh, we need to start doing all these these goals and stuff because it's a new year and don't put pressure on yourself. Like, just just be you know, just be kind to yourself is what I'm trying to say because I'm I'm trying to be kind to myself and, and not expect myself to be a superhuman because you know what, I'm just thinking I'm um, I'm just a human being and getting out of bed and putting on clothes and washing my hair is a fucking achievement. Because sometimes it's you know, it's not possible. Right?

Unknown Speaker 47:50

Okay, well, thank you for hanging out with me today in this episode has been amazing, I hope. What do you think about the noise in the background?

Unknown Speaker 48:01

Think I think it's okay. I think it's okay. I don't think there was any times where it was. It was too noisy. It was it was it? Tell me tell me what you think.

Unknown Speaker 48:12

I'm gonna listen back and see if I can hear anything and then you know, then maybe I'll live downtown or not. Who knows?

Unknown Speaker 48:18

So yeah, okay, I'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for hanging out with me. Okay, bye

Unknown Speaker 48:29

Thanks for listening to the episode and if you feel ready to get serious about this work and want to know when the doors open to fears fattier Academy which is my signature program, where I teach all about how to overcome your fat phobic beliefs and learn to love your fat body, then go to first party.com forward slash waitlist again, that is phase fatty.com. Forward slash waitlist to get your name on the waitlist. For when first party Academy my signature program opens