Episode 26 Transcript

You're listening to the Fierce Fatty podcast, episode 26. In today's episode, we're talking about can you be a vegetarian or vegan and also be an intuitive eater. Who knows? Let's do it.

You're listening to the Fierce Fatty podcast. I'm Victoria Welsby TEDx speaker, bestselling author and fat activist. I have transformed my life from hating my body with desperately low self-esteem to being a courageous and confident first fatty who loves every inch of this jellied society teaches us living in a fat body is bad. But what if we spent less time, money, and energy on the pursuit of thinness and instead focused on the things that actually matter. Like if pineapple on pizza should be outlawed or if the mullet was the greatest haircut of the 20th century. So how do you stop a negative beliefs about your fat body controlling your life? It's the Fierce Fatty podcast. Let's begin.

Hello. Hello. Hello. Welcome to another episode. I'm so pleased you're here. Thank you for tuning in. Hey, guess what? This quarantine well, not quarantine this self-isolating fatty cut her hair this morning. Yeah, I cut my hair with, what are they called? Buzzing, those buzzing razor trimmer, you know, those things, those things. God, why can't I think of the word? I think I did a pretty good job. I watched a couple of videos on the internet webs for guys cutting their hair and a couple of hairdressers saying how to do it. And I just did it and it doesn't look horrendous. There are so many like little bits I can see you. I'm like, Oh, that shouldn't be the, and the more I look at it, I'm like, yeah, there's like long bits here and there. How I give it another go over but a no, you're not going to hear me complaining about having wacky hair anymore because I cut it. I'm so proud of myself, but I have such deep respect for hairdressers because yeah, they make it look so easy to make your hair not look like a big bag of dog shit. So yeah, I can't wait to go back and see my hairdresser to fix this whenever we're out again.

So, Hey, did you know, did you know, I've told you before, but did you know a reminder that you can ask a question for me to answer on the show? So if you have a question about anything to do with loving your fat body, stopping dieting, intuitive eating, being a fabulous power bitch boss, whatever, then go on over to the show notes. The show notes are fiercefatty.com for this show, fiercefatty.com/026 cause we're episode 26 but any of the show notes which fiercefatty.com/podcast has a link for you to ask a question and it can be anonymous or not. And yeah, just go on, go on over though. We'll know of a fatty go and ask a question. I will really like it. Yeah. So I'm going to stop singing. Hey was that come on over come on over fatty. Shania Twain was it? Who knows.

So today we're talking about intuitive eating and vegetarianism slash veganism. And I've got a workbook that is going to help you out if you are at all struggling with intuitive eating. There's a workbook in the show notes. It's Why Intuitive Eating Isn't Working for You and this is one of my workbooks that a lot of people would like and get a lot of clarity from absolutely free. Go download it in the show notes. Why Intuitive Eating Isn't Working for You?

Okay, so let's answer this question and I've had this question a good few times, people wanting me to answer this and I did a short video about it and maybe 18 months ago, but I want to expand on it here for you. So, disclosure, I'm a smelly vegetarian. Yes, I am a vegetarian. Now, don't let that, the fact that I'm a vegetarian sway you or influence you about what we're going to be talking about today. Okay? I'll get into more about what I'm talking about there. But this is important for me to say that I am one of those vegetarians that we're talking about. So my experience is I've always been super sensitive about animals and suffering and things like that. Don't worry, I'm not going to go into some morality thing about why you should be a vegetarian. No, no, no. That is not what this is. But anyway, I would always be kind of thinking a lot about me and stuff. And so as a child, I try to be a vegetarian and I lasted for probably a week being a poor family and no vegetarians in sight. It was not going to happen. It was not going to work. There was no way that I knew how to eat as a vegetarian. So Bernard Matthews, Turkey, ham, Turkey slices is what lured me back into eating meat at that point. But it was always in the back of my mind of I am a bit weird about meat. Anyway, when I say I was a bit weird. Like I would gravitate towards eating a steak versus a hamburger because I'd be like, well, the steak, I can see the meat and hamburger, I can't necessarily see it. And I didn't necessarily desire meat as much as the average person out there. And so just because I say that I, I'm sensitive about animals and their feelings and that type of type of stuff doesn't mean that I don't think meat-eaters are also sensitive towards that.

Absolutely you can love animals and be meat-arian and think about them and hope that they have nice lives and all that type of stuff. And you don't have to be a vegetarian to also feel like, I know a lot of vegetarians or vegans are like, well, you can't love animals if you eat them. And no, I don't believe that. I think that is a bullshit. Of course, you can love animals and also eat them, but we're not talking about the morality of eating meat or not eating meat. We're talking about. Is it disordered? Is it something you can do while being an intuitive eater? So I became a vegetarian again, can you remember when like six, eight years ago. It's been a while. I watched a documentary and it turned me vegan and I couldn't, vegan being vegan was too difficult for me because I love cheese. I love yogurt, I love milk. I like having milk and tea and all the alternatives just wasn't cutting it for me. And so I became a vegetarian and I have been happily vegetarian ever since. And so when I started learning about intuitive eating, I was like, well, can I still be a vegetarian? I don't know, because when I saw this documentary that I watched. It wasn't about if you become a vegetarian or vegan, you'll become healthier. It was more about an experiment of can you do it and is it enjoyable and do you feel deprived? That type of thing. And, but also I think they, at the end of it, they weighed the people or whatever. And so in part, my vegetarianism probably was influenced by believing that maybe I would become thinner. Maybe I can't remember feeling like that at all. But you know, eight years ago, say if I watched this documentary eight years ago, I was still in diet land. And so I can imagine thinking probably in the back of my mind of, Oh, maybe I'll get thin, but honestly my driver was not, that was not my big driver because if it was, and because that didn't happen, I stayed fat. If it was a driver then I probably wouldn't be a vegetarian style, right. Because it didn't make me threaten. And so, you know, what I'm saying is that my driver for being a vegetarian is the, I just have a preference for not eating meat. But my vegetarianism, I've really questioned it and I've really gone into is this disordered in any way? Because a lot of people who have any type of restriction, any type of way of eating, a lot of it is informed by diet culture.

And a lot of it stems from wanting a smaller body, believing having a smaller body will make them more healthy. Of course, not everyone who has any type of restrictive diet. And a lot of times people might have a restrictive diet because they need to for whatever reason. And sometimes it is just an excuse for engaging in disordered eating or even an eating disorder. You cannot know someone's reasons and beliefs just if they have like a label. But say if someone's like a vegan and a raw vegan and doesn't eat like counts macros or doesn't eat gluten, and it kind of becomes more and more like, is, Oh, is this like, what is going on here? And so it becomes even more~ something that you need to look into.

So here is an example about how I knew that intuitive eating and for me a vegetarianism worked. So when I one time I went to Ireland and I became really sick. I got gastroenteritis and for what felt like forever was shitting my pants was throwing up. I couldn't even, I can even have a sip of water because I would just immediately throw up. I was really sick. And after days of this lying on my sister's couch, it was a Sunday and she was cooking Sunday dinner and I was coming out of this sickness and I could smell the chicken cooking and my body, my brain just said, you need some chicken. And I just knew it. I just knew my body was like, whatever is in that chicken that you can remember that has in the chicken. And she was cooking other things like vegetables and things like that. You need it. And so I said, okay, body, you've asked for chicken. And previously my body had not said, yo, I really want some me, you know, just doesn't happen for me. And so I said, okay body, I'm going to listen to you. You've asked for some chicken, go get some chicken. So I went into the kitchen and I said to my sister, going to have some chicken. She's like, yeah, sure. And I had some chicken and I could feel this. I dunno, like fell like magic was just being restored to my body and you know, any food probably would have been amazing cause I hadn't eaten in days, but my body was telling me that that chicken was what I needed in that moment. And so I had the chicken. It felt good. I think I had you know, I just had a little bit cause you know, I wasn't feeling that great.

And then later I think I had a little bit more and before I ate it, I was like, you know, thank you, chicken for me, you sort of thing kind of thought about the chicken and then just like the chicken. Now I listened to what my body needed and I didn't deny myself in that moment if I had said, no, you can't have chicken because you're a vegetarian and if you eat chicken then you're a bad person or whatever label that, you know, someone might put on meat eating if you're a vegetarian. I just listened to my body. And the reason why for me, you can be an intuitive eater. I can be an intuitive eater is I'm never thinking I really want a steak or I really want a chicken nugget or I really want, you know, whatever it is, I just don't think like that. I'm just not that bothered or interested. And you know whatever, our tastes like, some people love one type of food and other people just not bothered. Like, so for me, ice cream, you know how people are like, Oh, I sit and I eat like a tub of ice cream and stuff and I'm just like, I'm just not interested. I've just, I've never done that just because I ice cream doesn't really do it for me and ice cream is great. Like I taste it and I'm like, yeah, that's great, but I can take it or leave it. And the same with croissants and a lot of people are like, Oh, croissants, so good. And I'm just like, nah whatever. And someone else might think about that, something that I absolutely love and it's just personal taste, right?

And so that's how I feel about meats. It's just, I'm not that bothered. I also am thinking if there is an alternative where an animal isn't her, then that alternative is just as good. I'll just have that. It's just not that much. Not a big deal. But of course sometimes it is annoying and frustrating being a vegetarian. So I'm in Ireland at the moment in rural Ireland, they actually do quite well for vegetarian food just down at a local store. They have a couple of things which is mind blowing to me. But if you go out to eat in a restaurant, the vegetarian food will be pretty much either goats cheese tart, which when I first got here I was like, Oh goats cheese tart, very nice, but every fucking way or his goats cheese tart or pasta or something like that.

And for me, pasta is so fucking boring. I only ever eat pasta, any type of pasta just to feed myself. Like it's not anything that I ever desire or want. I know he's con controversial who doesn't like pasta, but for me it's boring. Right? And so I like preferences. So does that mean that everyone can be a vegetarian or a vegan and they can also do intuitive eating? No, no. Maybe you know, it's an individual thing. What is the intention behind it? I mean, you could have started being a vegan or vegetarian and it came from a very disordered place. But now if you've healed your relationship with food, it could be something totally different. Only you know the answer to that question. So are you eating in whatever way it is outside of, you know, vegetarianism, whatever it is. Are you eating that way because you want to lose weight or because you know, you want to manipulate your body size or the, or how your body looks in some way.

Are you doing it because of guilt because of negative emotions? Are you doing it because that's just the way that you've always eating and you know, say a part of your religion is you don't eat pork for example. It could just not even be a thing. You could just be like, I'm not interested in pork, but say if a part of your religion is to not eat pork, but you're actually really curious about pork and you want to eat pork and you're feeling guilty about it, and feeling weird feelings around that, then maybe you should eat pork or whatever it is. And so if you are currently not eating meat or whatever is that you're not doing is there room for you to experiment with it? Is there room for you to say, I gave myself permission for me to listen to my body and if my body says I want this, then can you play around with that and just allow yourself whatever it is you want. And the big thing about intuitive eating is allowing yourself anything you want. And a lot of people might say, well, but what about the animals?

In some, yes, maybe in a vegetarian, yes, I totally get that. But also what about your mental health? What about your mental health and your relationship with food? And you're going to be alive for a long time. And if you have a disordered relationship with food, it is going to have such a dramatic effect on your life. So what can you do to relax around that? So another way that I more relaxed about vegetarianism and so is like miso soup, miso soup has, Oh, I can't remember what it is. I think it's a fish sauce and I don't. I'm not interested in fish either, but I just don't eat fish. I would never really liked fish and I don't care. Like I'll have miso, and I will have candy if there's like some gummy thing that have gelatin in like I'm just not that strict about it. You know, I'm just relaxed about it. And you know, some of the bit saying like some of the people, if you are a vegetarian you might say, no, I'm not into having miso or whatever if it has like trace elements of animal products in it. And if that comes from a place of you know, not feeling disorder and not feeling anxiety around it, not feeling stress around it, not feeling restriction, then that's absolutely fine too. Only you know the motivation behind it.

So massive disclaimer here is that I don't think that other people should be vegetarian or not vegetarian or vegan or not vegan. I don't care if you eat meat, it's not my place or anyone else's place to say you should eat in a certain way because of my beliefs. So a lot of times when I have dinner with friends or say if I go on a date, if I go on a date and I say I'm a vegetarian, then if they order meat, they're like, Oh, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, I don't fucking care. Like eat, enjoy your food, eat as much meat as you want, like go wild. Really it's got nothing to do with me and I do not at all judge you for a millisecond if you eat meat. And if you are a vegetarian, any, you are judging others because they eat meat, then I want you to challenge that because it's super classist. It's racist, it's elitist. And I'm on people like, well, you can, you don't have to be rich to be a vegetarian. You can, you know, get all these staples and things from the store. And I'd say, well, yeah, technically, but it's, if you're all low income, you're not going to go to your corner store and find a plethora of vegetables and all the different types of vegetarian food that there could be. There's probably no vegetarian meat alternative. And if it is, it's probably one of those nasty veggie burgers that are just vegetables. I hate those. And as well, think about, you know, first nation communities who only eat meat who can't grow vegetables because the climate doesn't allow for it. And they might be cut off from getting different types of foods, and it's just a part of their culture and it has been for years for them to be really reliant on me. And so if you're like, listen, you're bad because you eat me, well, what are they going to do? Die, stop. And a lot of it, so I used to work for an organic food company. And organic is bullshit by the way, if you didn't know that, but even the people that are going to a food company, they were like, wow, organic is not really whatever, but you know, rich people want to buy organic so we're going to give them organic food. And before that I was like, I didn't really know much about organic, but then I was like, Oh damn. It's just with the rich people. A lot of times more affluent white middle class people will eat in a certain way being like, or organic or this type of stuff. You know, raw and all that type of stuff because it makes them feel morally superior.

Is the way that you are eating, making you feel superior to others that don't eat like you? If it is, I encourage you to question that. I really do. And yes, it's, you know, I would like animal suffering to end that. That would be great for me but also human suffering is tremendous around food too. And it's just not possible for a lot of people to be a vegetarian. And anyway, being a vegetarian doesn't mean that you're a better person. It doesn't mean that you're going to go to heaven and God is going to be there and be like, Oh, you're one of those vegetarians. Oh my God, go jump to the front of the queue. You know, a lot of vegetarians and vegans and people who have any type of way of eating do a lot of harm when they make other people feel guilty for not eating in the way that they have decided is the best way to eat.

In my TEDx talk, I actually made a joke about vegans and the joke was I was saying, follow people that don't make you feel good and I said, unfollow vegans. Like, doesn't sound funny. Now in the TEDx talk, it was a joke and it got, it got the biggest laugh there. And the reason why it got the biggest laugh when I said unfollow all vegans is because the perception of vegans and vegetarians not as much but is that they are militant, that they are angry, that they are judgmental. There's not a lot of positivity around veganism and flexibility and understanding of the social issues in regards to why people eat the way they eat. And the way the people that eat is perfect. It's fine. It's, you know, in the best way that we can, and I got a lot of shit from vegans.

Like any criticism about my TEDx talk is always, well she says that you should unfollow vegans and actually if you're a vegan, maybe if she was a vegan then she wouldn't be so fat. And why do you have to hate on vegans? Like, you know, you're hurting animals and yes, I get it. But the joke that vegans are really uptight and stuff and then messaging me saying, Hey, no, don't talk shit about vegans is kind of, you know, this is what we're talking about. And so I'm offering you being vegan or vegetarian and it being something that is wonderful in your life and positive and, but if you make others feel guilty for not eating the way that you're eating, then it's something that needs to be reassessed.

So one of my most favorite person people to follow on Instagram is actually a vegan account. So it was literally a joke about not following vegans because I follow vegans because this one vegan account is is a Vancouverite vegan and I've met her before and she makes her stories or her making vegan dinners for her and her family. And I enjoy it. But I have pretty much only one time have I ever made any recipe that she has shown. And it's because it's really fucking hard. And she says, Oh, it's so easy. It's so easy, you can feed your family and be and feed them vegan and it's so easy and all you need to do is make your own oat flour and blend cashews and sauté this and all sorts of stuff. And I'm like, my fucking way. I have not doing that. And so for me, if vegetarianism was hard, then I wouldn't be doing it because the way that I eat vegetarian is I would just eat the same way I ate before as a meaty to put, have like meat substitutes and make things as easily as possible. And I'm not fucking blending cashews. It's cool. If someone else wants to do that, it's cool if someone wants to do that and give it to me, that's cool. But I'm not doing this whole palaver of every single night she's cooking and every lunch doing all these different things. I'm just like, Oh my God. No, I still like watching it though because it's interesting to see what you can do. But never me and I, no, no, no, no. And another thing if you are a meat-eater or whatever, are you in any way saying that certain types of meats are better than others? So I'm saying a hot dog or chicken nuggets, they're the devil's food because that's just like disgusting reclaimed me and things like that. That's not the best way to go because a lot of times those meats are affordable.

It doesn't mean that they are bad, that they have no nutritional value, that they do not feed people because they, they do and they're great and they're perfect for the people who like them and they're a part of their life. Just because you're getting, you know, farm raised, free range massaged, you know, be from Japan. What does that called? Go on, whatever. You know, there's fancy, this fancy like beef less massage. Anyway, that doesn't mean that that is better or you're a better person because you get that meat. It doesn't mean, you know, ethical meat is better than a hot dog or, you know, a chicken nugget or whatever it is. Just be careful about the way that your relating to the food that you're eating in regards to feeling morally superior because you eat in a certain way.

And that's the reason why I don't really talk about me being a vegetarian. I think I've mentioned it once before on the podcast because I don't want anyone to think that I think that they are bad because they meat like no eat meat. It's delicious. It's great, it's nutritious and wonderful. Eat it and eat dairy and eats yogurts and cheese and anything that you want to eat that brings you joy. And if you eat in another way and that's joyful for you to do that. So that's, I'm always hesitant about telling people that I'm a vegetarian because I don't want them to think that I'm like, how dare you eat meat in front of me. You are an animal murderer, you hate animals and you know, all of these other things that are, why vegetarians got a bad rep.

Yeah. So in answer to that question, can you be a vegetarian and or vegan and also be an intuitive eater? Maybe, maybe, really you need to explore what is going on with you. When you are choosing to not eat meat or animal products. What is your brain saying? Is your brain happy? Is your brain guilty? Is your brain longing for meats? Are you, you know, at a restaurant and looking over at the person next door to you who's got a lobster and being like, Oh my God, I really want that but I shouldn't. If there's any type of like, Oh, I shouldn't and I want that but I think if I eat them, I might put on weight then they're really good clues that are maybe a vegetarianism or veganism isn't right for you at this moment.

Now you can eat meat, heal your relationship, and then decide, actually I want to try again and try this way of eating and see if it fits in with me now. And it could do and it could not. So just be curious and be flexible and don't shame others for the way that you eat. But I know you all won't because you're fierce fatty is you don't shame others for the way that they eat. It's just other people who the other people who might be listening in the background. Don't be shaming people. There, people in the background, don't you be shaming people? Yeah, so, so maybe be curious and that goes for any other type of eating. A lot of times people might eat in a way you know, like say they can't have gluten and it's tricky.

So I have IBS and there are some things that I think trigger my IBS and so I have to decide, am I going to have that thing that I desire or am I going to not, I not experienced the symptoms. And sometimes I decide to not have the thing, but other times I decide that having the thing is more important for my mental health and for my relationship with that food and so I will weather the consequences. And that goes for anything. Like if you can't eat any type of food, you're in charge of deciding do I want to handle the consequences or do I want to allow myself the food? So it's a juggling act between potentially your physical health and your mental health. And there's no right or wrong answer. You’re in charge of that, right.

And I can't tell you what to do because everyone is individual and I'm not a doctor and you know, I'm not the boss of you. It's all about you and how you feel and what you want and what you're willing to put up with in regards to denying yourself a food or allowing yourself and maybe experiencing symptoms. So say if you were to eat something and the result is that you automatically die, then maybe you're going to have to deny yourself that food. Like I was watching Breaking Bad and you can make raisins in our beans like raisin as a poison. You probably can't do Average Joe can't do at home, so don't worry if you beans, you're not going to die. But you know, if you were like, maybe I eat raisins today, I'm really drawn to some raisin. I would advise, maybe don't have the raisin because you will probably die. Most definitely die and so, you know, be realistic. Like I saw someone a review on Christie Harrison's podcast. Someone wrote, she said that you should eat food even if it makes you sick and she's killing people because what if you decide you want to eat poison and then you're going to die? And I'm like, no, it's a bit hyperbole there. She's not saying you should eat poison and die and then, but Oh, who cares about the consequences? So just an FYI, don't kill yourself with eating poison should be pretty obvious. But just in cases that one person who is ready to write a review being like, she'd told us to eat poison. No, I'm telling you to avoid eating poison. But a lot of times these foods that, you know, if they do have a consequence for your body, it's normally something minor, right? It might be like some acid reflux or it might just be, you know, for me I might just have an ache in my belly and, so it's not like I'm deciding to really damage myself in order to eat that food, right? You know, what's best for you, but just a FYI. A little side tangent on that.

Hey, if you want more help with intuitive eating, then go to the show notes, fercefatty.com/026 And get that workbook. Why Intuitive Eating Isn't Working For You, some really great prompts in there. And Hey, I want to share with you my three favorites Chrome extensions. Google Chrome extensions that make my life better because I tell people about this all the time. I'm like, do you not have this extension on your browser? Oh my God, you so need it. Okay? So listen up here. If you have a computer and you have Google Chrome, then I'm telling you these extensions are really good. So the first extension, if you I'm just so excited for you, if you haven't heard of this first extension, it's called Honey, you know, like bee honey. I'll link to it in the show notes. Honey Chrome extension. And what honey does is that every time you go to a checkout on your computer, you've got Honey in the browser, you go to the checkout and you know, it says, it will be like, do you have a coupon code or anything like that? Honey automatically pops up and scans the internet for any coupon codes that other people have used at that site, that work and I'd say 80% of the time that I am buy something online, Honey will get me 5, 10, 15 or even been like 50 bucks off depending on the size of the order. Like sometimes massive discounts and this is free. This is a Chrome extension that's none of these costs money. And so every time I'm like getting to the checkout and be like, Oh, how much are they going to cost when Honey is going to pop up? And it just does it automatically. You don't even have to think about it. And when you're not doing online shopping, you don't even, notice this on your browser. So Honey, you gotta get. That's the first one.

Next one is Grammarly and Grammarly, there's a paid version, but I've don't need that. Grammarly really helps with spelling, you know, cause like if you're in email or if you're in if you're on Facebook, on your computer or something like that, there's no spell check, right. Grammarly has picked up so many of my mistakes and made things way better and made me look way smarter when I'm just, you know, when you'd like, you can't spell a word and it's so bad that even the spell check is like, what the fuck is this? Grammarly will help you with things like that.

And another one I just got is called a Video Speed Controller and anywhere that you're watching, a video, Netflix, YouTube, anywhere, there's a little thing in the corner of the video for you to be able to speed it up or slow it down. And so, you know how some people they might not get to the point or you need to like re you need to for some reason watch a video. And the person is rambling on and you just want to get the information but you don't want to have to listen to an hour of dribble. Then you can just do the video speed up and then for them, but like, well look them and you can still hear it and stuff. You know, the same way that you might do with podcasts. So ya'll, so Video Speed Controller, Grammarly and Honey. Honey, if you get none of them, honey. I'll tell you what, you're going to be thanking me when you get to, you know, doing any of your online shopping anywhere and Honey pops up and is like, listen up here. Now I'm going to save you 15 bucks. You're like, Oh thanks Honey. And sometimes it doesn't. They didn't. There is no saving. There is no but at least you know that you've got the best price.

So reminder, ask questions for the show and if the question is good, then I will answer it on the show for you as you get direct access to me for free. Oh my God, dreams come true. If you want to see my hair cut, I have a haircut video actually did a video of me cutting my hair, so I'll link that in the show notes to show notes on fiercefatty.com/026 cause it was episode 26.

Hope you are handling the COVID 19 all right. Coronavirus, quarantining. It's April 8th when I'm recording this and there's no ending site and the British prime minister is in intensive care because he's got COVID 19. And yeah, so there's my, I hope you don't like it. I hope you're doing okay. I hope everything's all right for you. And if it's not, then just remember nothing ever lasts forever.

So now thank you for hanging out with me. I so appreciate it. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review and if you would like to be rewarded for that review, then take a screenshot of your review and email me victoria@fiercefatty.com and I will send you a digital and audio version of my bestselling book, Fierce Fatty. Until the next time my gorgeous Fatty. I will see you then. Goodbye.