A week before my TEDx Talk my Dad was discovered dead in his home.

I have a video on YouTube “Are You Fatphobic and Don’t Know It?”.

The dislikes on the video far outweigh the likes. Obviously, right?! When a fat person talks about fatphobia the trolls come out to play.

Before I was body positive, the thought of being in a bikini ANYWHERE was terrifying. Never mind in a public space...never mind dancing...never mind being filmed. Doing something like that would be unfathomable, impossible, terrifying.

"Should you be eating that much food?" - Your Mother

"New Year, New You! Time to get that bikini body!" - Dumb advertisement

"Oh, you've put on weight!" - Weird Uncle Keith

In our society fat is seen as bad. Being fat is worse than someone who doesn’t indicate while changing lanes, worse than being a bad tipper, worse than being someone who tries to get on the train before you get off. Why is this? Why is fat demonized? I was determined to find out!

I surveyed 100 people on their views on fatness and the results were incredibly interesting

1.     Start with things that are easy

2.     Go somewhere you’re familiar with

3.     Soak in the atmosphere

4.     Don’t push yourself too hard (try to have fun!)

5.     Once you’re feeling more confident, take it to the next level

One of the badass members of my private Facebook group got shamed by a stranger in the grocery store.

"I just went to the store for lunch and picked up a bag of chips. A lady I've never met before felt it was appropriate to say "you don't need that" as I put them in my hand basket."

BITCH, WHAT?!

Confidence can be haaard. My confidence used to be in the pits of the Mariana Trench and when I was there I could see no way out, even if intellectually I knew I should “just feel better”. Check out these five things that really helped me increase my self confidence (in my mind and my body) and maybe they’ll help make you realise how freaking badass you are too!

Hello. I am fat. I have been fat from as young as I can remember, also from as young as I can remember, I have known that being fat is bad.

I have just come back from 2 weeks of sun, sand and sangria, my first big vacation all on my lonesome.

Before I left for Mexico my inner critic was loud and proud telling me I was about to embark on a disaster, a lonely, sad time away and I should just stay home.

I got an excellent question from a reader:

"I need to lose weight due to health reasons. Partly because I have thyroid-issues, but also because I am on certain medications that lead to fluid retention that is worsened due to my size.HOW IN THE WORLD do I strive towards being body positive, stopping the dieting-bullshit and accepting myself, WHILST trying to lose weight?!"

I always got the impression my partner of 6 years just wasn’t that into me. Let me re-phrase, just not that into my looks. My suspicion was confirmed 4 years in when he told me that he didn’t find me as attractive because I had put on a little weight. Walking in the park at winter when he shamefully told me his secret, I assured him I would “become better”, I would lose weight.

• I am a fraud, I hate my body.
• I am lucky I have a boyfriend the way my body is, I'm surprised he can stomach looking at me.
• I am always looking at people online, comparing myself to them and knowing I don't measure up.
• When I am introduced to new people I know they are thinking "she is ugly and fat".
• I think I am going to get fired from my job any day now, they will realise hiring me was a mistake.
• I would look so much better if I just lost weight, I hate myself that I can't.
• My partner says I am beautiful, but he is just saying that to be nice.
• I am not worthy.

We all have a pesky inner critic that tells us that we don’t measure up; we aren’t good enough, not worthy of the love we have in our lives, not beautiful…enough.

How the heck do we deal with this seemingly ever present Beelzebub?

I’m very liberal and support the movement, but find myself dictated by conventional standards anyways. What are your opinions on this?

Are you a woman? Do you live in our society? Perhaps you’re a man, or any other gender on the spectrum? Are you a human being alive today? Then listen up here!

You are living in a society that tells you what to find attractive, tells you what beauty is. Right now beautiful is thin, white and young, long legged, eyebrows on fleek, flowing hair, thigh gapped...you get the picture.

If you don’t fall into those categories, tough luck, you ugly girl.

But that’s ok, you can try to get those characteristics, right?

Or can you? And at what cost.

Society has a hella lot of rules for us, especially women. Shame is used to control women and what’s a better way to do it than through policing our bodies. Yay!

If you’re a fatty like me, you can try to blend into the background though and be a “good fatty”.

A good fatty is a fat person who knows that their fatness is a moral failing and is doing everything they can in their power to be thin, showing that they know they are a bad person or make up for their horrendous fatness in another way.

Here is a list of things I used to do when I was a good fatty

Children try to make sense of the world and to make sense of this situation I blamed myself.

I shouldn’t have been in my garden playing, I shouldn’t have been riding my bike in front of my house, I shouldn’t have been walking with a friend on the underpass.

I have repeatedly been told that “It will get easier” with looks of sympathy at spin class or to “Keep going, you’ll get there” after a barre session.

I’m fat and that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen the inside of a gym before. It doesn’t mean the only sweating I do is staring through window of a donut store. 

This week, I had the honor of being on Good Morning America as a featured panelist for a discussion about diets!

I remember screaming at my desk when I got the email confirming my appearance, and I nearly fainted when I found out I’d be sharing the stage with some of my favorite body positive influencers. I was asked to be on the show as the anti-diet voice in a discussion with Mara Schiavocampo about her best-selling diet book, THINspiration.