10 Lessons From 10 Years in Fat Liberation

10 Lessons From 10 Years in Fat Liberation

It's been 10+ years since I first discovered fat liberation...here's what I've learned.

In 2014, I discovered fat liberation and have been talking about it since. So after all these years, I wanted to share my top takeaways about body image, being fat on the internet, the common fears we share, and more.

TW: mention of body image struggles in childhood.

1. People are now more (surface-level) accepting of fat folks.

In 2014, when I began writing things on the internet, the vitriol that was directed at me because I suggested fat people were deserving of dignity and equal access in the world was staggering. It was rare to speak to someone who agreed. Now, it seems more mainstream that fat people…are human (lol, sob), and I’m not met with the same universal disdain. Although there is still a HUGE way to go, it’s gotten better in the last decade. 

2. There will always be cycles of a “miracle cure” and “heroin chic.” 

There have been Fen-Phen, Atkins, Weight Watchers, weight-loss surgery, intermittent fasting, jaw wiring, the tapeworm diet, Ozempic, and many more. There’s always been the next best thing to “cure” fatness, and there always will be. Learning how to survive and recognize these waves of frenzy over “miracle cures” and the harder pushes for thin supremacy will help us stay resilient throughout life.

The DentalSlim Diet Control - a jaw wiring device that uses magnets, which was released in 2021.

The DentalSlim Diet Control - a jaw wiring device that uses magnets, which was released in 2021.

3. Anger and shaming/self-righteousness can’t be my driving force (but it’s an important stage of identity/the process). 

In episode 205 of the Fierce Fatty Podcast, I talked about the stages of fat identity. When you're new to fat liberation, it's common to feel angry after realizing how anti-fat bias has duped you for years. I noticed I sometimes became self-righteous, seeing people still immersed in diet culture as inferior. But finding my fat identity is a privilege, and judging others doesn't align with my values or help create change. It's also a normal and important part of the process to move through these different emotions.

4. People who struggle with body image almost always have parents/caretakers/adults who body-shamed them as a kid or put them on a diet. 

Over the last decade, I have spoken to hundreds of people who are struggling with body image and the one clear theme I see: As children, adults told them their bodies were wrong (and those same adults are making similar comments still). The stories I have heard are heartbreaking, mind-boggling, and, unfortunately, incredibly common.

Kids TV show, Peppa Pig, has been criticized for fat shaming Daddy Pig. Children are exposed to anti-fat messaging everywhere.

5. People underestimate the power of being surrounded by anti-fat, diet culture messaging.

We live in an anti-fat world, and those messages can have dramatic effects on the way we see ourselves. It’s not reasonable to think we can just rawdog those harmful messages day in, day out and also have a peaceful relationship with our body and unlearn anti-fatness/diet culture. Recognizing what makes you feel shit about yourself and protecting yourself are important.

We have been surrounded by weight loss advertisements since the 19th century.

6. It’s really hard for people to let go of healthism and ableism, even well-meaning people working hard on this stuff. 

I feel like healthism and ableism are the last parts of unlearning anti-fatness. It’s much more acceptable to talk about health vs appearance when focusing on your body. The terror of getting a condition associated with fatness is intoxicating for many people - sometimes their worst nightmare. Unfortunately, it’s really sticky to unpick the healthism and ableism, but it’s doable!

7. Fat celebs will disappoint us. 

Even on the earliest episodes of the Fierce Fatty Podcast, I was talking about fat celebs losing weight and the feelings of sadness many people can have. Unless a fat celeb specifically states they support fat liberation, there’s a strong chance they’re going to be influenced by the pressures of anti-fatness and attempt weight loss, then throw fat people under the bus.

Rebel Wilson, who played Fat Amy in Pitch Perfect, is one of many celebs who championed body diversity and has since lost weight. 

8. Unlearning anti-fatness was the beginning of unlearning SO MUCH. 

Fat liberation opened a door to Narnia for me. I was so deeply drowned in shame about my body, and isolated by that shame, that there was no chance I could ever explore other ways in which I was making myself figuratively small. After unlearning anti-fatness, I realized that I am nonbinary, queer, AuDHD… and have challenged my thinking on other topics, like colonialism and white supremacy. I was kept distracted and humiliated by believing my body was wrong. But no longer.

9. Some people don’t want to unlearn anti-fatness and are content in diet culture. 

I was so sure that other people would be as delighted as I was when I discovered fat lib and enthusiastically spread the word to people who didn’t even ask. I thought I could “save” people from the pain of searching for a thin body. In reality, I was likely annoying and often counterproductive. Everyone is on their own unique journey, and being here as a source of education if they are ever interested is now my tactic. If dieting brings people happiness, then I’m pleased they have it. 

10. We are isolated by our shame, unaware that most of us share the same fears.

Those deep dark secrets or fears I had felt so unique to me. I thought that no one else was dealing with such a “disgusting” body like I was. Turns out that so many of us are connected by the same fears - I’m too much, I’m not enough. My belly is too big, my tits are too saggy. Am I a bad person? Do my friends secretly hate me? I'm scared to be vulnerable. Am I about to be fired? My partner is lying about finding me attractive; that other person is more attractive…I find comfort knowing that we are together, such sweet, silly little worriers, and sharing these fears with each other brings connection because shame cannot survive the light.

Continue Your Learning & Unlearning

If this resonated, you’re not alone. Many of us are navigating the tension between wanting to dismantle anti-fatness while still feeling its impact in our own lives and bodies.

This work happens on multiple levels - personally and systemically.

You can start here:

You don’t have to figure this out alone - and you don’t have to do it perfectly to begin. Remember, you are worthy, you always were, you always will be. Stay fierce, fatty!

About the Author:

Vinny Welsby

Vinny Welsby (they/them) is a fat activist, diversity, equity and inclusion leader and founder of Fierce Fatty and Weight Inclusive Consulting. They have been a leading voice in dismantling anti-fat bias and diet culture for over a decade, a TEDx speaker, a podcast host, and a master's student in psychotherapy. Vinny is trans-non-binary and is dedicated to shifting how society views fat and queer bodies through education and compassion.

When Vinny isn’t talking about DEI stuff, they love snuggling with their dog, cross-stitching swear words and singing in a pop choir.

Follow Vinny on Instagram, Facebook or LinkedIn or get their free resources the Body Love Roadmap or How to Make Your Workplace Size Inclusive (or check out many other free resources here).

Sources:

Links for Fierce Fatty Podcast episodes mentioned: