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How to Speak Publicly and Not Be Terrified

Hi, it's Victoria here, and in this video we're talking about how to speak publicly and not be shitting your pants with fear because you're terrified.

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Okay, so most of you know that I have a TEDx talk. If I had some hair I'd be swishing it and be like, "Yes, darling." I had a TEDx talk, and the most unusual thing is before my TEDx talk, I wasn't nervous. I was the very last speaker of the day, I closed the show, no big deal. I was there the whole day, and my friends and family were there, too, and we had lunch together, and at lunch, they were all saying, "Oh, my God, you must just be feeling terrified right now," and I was just like, "No, not really. I feel good. I feel excited. It's going to be great."

People would be saying to me, "But what if you make a mistake? What if you forget your lines?" because we had to talk for 20 minutes with no script, no prompts, nothing. My response was, "If that happens, that happens." Like, what is the worst thing that can happen? The worse thing is I pass out, I shit on the stage, I piss on the stage. Wouldn't that be a really amazing story, to be like, "I had a TEDx talk and I was so scared I shit on the stage"? Wouldn't that be amazing? Your TEDx talk after that would go bananas viral. It would be like, "The first time she tried to do a TEDx talk, she pissed on the stage and now look at her, she didn't piss at all," right? It'd be fine.

So the worst thing that could happen would probably be something that would be advantageous to you, although at the time it would be very embarrassing. If you forget your lines, it's not a big deal. You can then call out and be like, "Hey, what's my line, someone?" And they're recording it, and so then it will be cut out of the recording when it goes online, you know?

But the biggest thing that really helped me to not be scared is that, no matter what I did, if I went onstage, and just for 20 minutes stood in silence, or if I did the exact talk that I did or a variation of it, 10% of the audience was going to love me, 10% of the audience was going to hate me, and 80% were going to be somewhere in the middle. So I could mess up, I could have the most perfect performance, and there's still going to be people who love and hate me, and some people who are just like, "Eh, whatever," and some people who are going to be like, "Oh, my God, I love her, she's amazing." So no matter what I did, it was going to be fine.

I'd had public speaking experience before because I was an adjunct professor, and I would be speaking in front of 150 people per lecture, and so I had practice, but nothing like this. It was 2,600 people that I'd spoken to before.

Another thing that I reminded myself is, to get out of that state of fear, would be to breathe. So before I went on the stage, I was at the side of the stage and would just take a really nice big deep breath, and that ignites your parasympathetic nervous system, you know that fight or flight, and tells you, "You're okay. It's going to be okay. We're not in danger right now." And another thing is you could be doing this onstage, because if you're nervous you tend to be talking very quickly, and when you're more calm and relaxed you're taking breaths between what you're saying.

And as well, if you're silent onstage, even for a couple of seconds, it is so boss. Just like I did right then. That little bit of silence makes people listen, like, "Oh, she's got something important to say." So if you forget your lines, then you don't even need to worry about it because it will just be like you're just there on the stage, just holding the stage, and being like, "Oh, get ready for my next line because it's going to be amazing. And here's my next line," right? The audience is on your side. They don't want you to do shit. They want you to be really good, and so if you're like, "Oh, I missed my line," or, "I did something wrong," they're probably going to be like, "Yes, bitch, keep going," right.

So, hopefully they are some tips to help you if you are getting terrified, or you're public speaking, or you have something coming up and you're like, "Oh, I'm a bit scared." And, as well, it's nice to be scared because it shows that you care about the thing. So even though I wasn't scared, I really did care about it because I was really excited about sharing my message with the world that way overcame any fear that I had.

If you like this video, make sure that you give me the thumbs up below, subscribe, and check out the links below for some goodness up in your brain. Okay, I'll see you next time, my queen.


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