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4 BS Beliefs You Hold That Are Stopping You From Loving Your Fat Body

Hi, it's Victoria here from fierce fatty. And in this video we're talking about the four beliefs that you are holding onto, the stopping you from loving your fat body.

Before we get into this video, make sure that you subscribe to my channel and if you like this video, why not give it a little like, and if you really liked this video, why don't you share it with someone that you think that could benefit from hearing the stuff that I'm talking about today and I've got a really special treat for you. If you look at the links below the video, I have got a free guidebook that is going to go along with this video. It's called the BS beliefs buster book. In that awesome free resource that I'm giving you with the information you're going to get in the video, you're going to be able to understand all of the beliefs that you are holding onto and how to reframe them so they no longer negatively impact your life. So I've seen in my time many beliefs that hold people back from truly loving themselves, finding peace with food, feeling confident, all that type of stuff, and all the times I see the same ones come up again and again and again.

Now you might hold onto one of these beliefs or maybe all four in this video, I'm going to tell you what those beliefs are and then I'm going to help reframe them so that you no longer hold onto them. So strap on in. We're going in deep today. So excuse number one. The big one that I hear is people say, I can't do it to the types of things I will say to me is, Victoria, you are so confident. I can never get to your level of confidence. It's just ridiculous to even consider it. You think that I'm feeling like a queen, like uh, no. That's not going to happen. You might be thinking, I've struggled with this for so long my whole life. What's going to change now? It seems so impossible. I just don't think I can do it. You might be saying, I'm not the type of person to be super confident, it's just not in my personality type to be confident.

You might be saying I'm not the type of person who's going to be striking around on a bikini. I mean you do it wonderfully Victoria, but that's not my style. Okay, so if you think at any of those things, I hear Ya. All right. And it's totally normal to feel like that so many people do. And I'm going to talk about now how we can reframe these beliefs into something more positive. You're at "A" right now "A" being wherever you are in your confidence levels, wherever you are in loving your body and you want to get to "B" and "B" being where you want to be. So you might be wanting to feel confident and comfortable in your body, feel fabulous, all that type of stuff. "B" in your brain. Might as well be an outer space like it's so far away that you cannot even fathom getting there.

You don't know how to get there. And the thought that you can go into outer space, well, it's not going to happen, right? You're not an astronaut. You don't have the equipment. You've never even visited NASA. Like that's ridiculous. So this is how brain is thinking about it. Okay? Yes. Getting from A to B is hard. Going into space. Is hard. But guess what? It's not impossible. People have done it before. And so when you start working on your confidence, if you have a guide along with you, it would be a lot easier, wouldn't it? So for example, imagine you have a spaceship in your backyard, you're looking at that spaceship and being like, I don't know how to drive that thing. Like I want to go into outer space, but it's really fucking scary. But imagine if you went out into your back garden and there was a space person, an astronaut, and they have the kit and they're like, here's your space suit jump in it.

We're just going to go and get into the space craft and I'm going to show you a couple of buttons that you can push. Now, would you be able to do that? Yeah, you could do that. You might be scared. And when the astronaut says, Hey, let's pull this lever and let's go up a bit, you'll probably be shitting your pants. But if you take it small step by small step and you're not thinking about getting to the moon right yet, you're just thinking about putting on that space suit, you can do it right. And so if you're thinking about getting to B and B seems impossible, forget about B, just go to A 0.1, like the first tiny little step.

So you need to believe that you can take that first tiny little step. And when you do take a tiny step, it's going to help you be able to take that next step and the next step and the next step.

And before you know it, you'd be like, oh my God, like I'm a bad motherfucker. Right? And you need to practice being brave. If you don't think that you can do this, it's because you've not been taking actions to prove to yourself that you can, right? So you have to be brave, take action and make sure that you have something to help you do it. You don't have to be alone in this journey. Okay? The next big belief that I see is, and this one is total bullshit. I don't have the time. Now a lot of people are guilty of this and they say, I don't have the time. I'm so busy Victoria. And I'm like, yeah, we're all busy. Right? So these are the types of things that you might be saying. You might be saying, I've got so much on my plate already.

My schedule is just jam packed. Adding one more thing isn't possible for me. I have kids, I have a job, I have a house, I have a car. All these things I have to do in life. It's just overwhelming. And that's all true, right? You know we all have things that keep us busy, but I want to help you reframe this belief because it's a belief. Alright? Okay, so it's not that you don't have the time, it's that you are choosing of the things over doing this work. So you're making something else a priority and this excuse of I don't have the time. It's such a great way to teach yourself that you are not worthy. It's more important to be doing other stuff than it is to be working on your self esteem and confidence. If you've got the time to get to level 587 on candy crush saga or you've got the time to take a survey online to find out what type of potato you are, you have time and it's okay to take potato surveys.

If I was a potato I'd be a rose potato cause I know I'm Crispian jew thing gorgeous but you cannot also then use the excuse of, I don't have the time to work on this stuff because it's just not based in reality. You do have the time, you're just not prioritizing yourself, which sucks for your self esteem. So it's like you're that project in your house, you know that one project that you're like, I need to do that. Or that thing you've been putting off, like the spare room needs painting or you've got a crack in your windshield and you know you need to fix it. Are you treating yourself like a project that you just put it in and forget about it because other things are more important. Right now it's just a self perpetuating. I'm not good enough cycle and I'm not worth investing in myself cycle and it needs to stop.

Okay, so next number three BS thing that I see people say is it's not that big a deal. It's not that important. So some of the things you might be saying, well this one is, I don't hate my body. I just think it's unattractive and unappealing. I don't diet anymore. I've stopped dieting and I think I know some things about intuitive eating so I'm healed. You might be saying, yeah, I've spent my whole life in diet culture and surrounded by fat phobia, but it's not affected the way I participate in the world. Just sometimes thoughts creep into my head and it's doesn't really affect me. You might be thinking, people around me don't notice anything and they're not affected by my low self esteem. It's only me that suffers and you might be thinking, this is just one area in my life. I need to quote unquote fix so much else that I need to do.

I'll work on this later. So let me reframe that for you. It's not that big a deal, isn't it? isn't it that big a deal? It is a massive deal, oh my God. Not having confidence, not loving your body, not feeling at peace around food affects every thing. It's like this weight, sorry for the pun that you have to carry around your neck. It's a bird and you're having to go through life with this way that you don't even realize that you're carrying until it's lifted. I find a lot of times when people have worked on this stuff for a while, they can look back and be like, Holy Shit, I was not feeling great about myself and I didn't realize all the

ways. And because a lot of people struggle to think about how it affects themselves. I want you to consider how this affects those around you.

How are you necessarily not connecting with your spouse, your friends? What about your children? Are they picking up on things that you're thinking and saying, hmm, I wonder. Yes they are, and imagine if you did this work. Imagine if you were like, Yup, I feel great about myself. What type of ripple effect would that have on those around you, on those around them? And the world it's really, really impactful. So if you can't think about yourself, think about others. You're denying the world your light. Number four, this is a big one. I don't have the money. So the types of things that you might be saying, this is not in my budget. There's more important things to worry about financially. I'll pay those things first. It's too expensive. It's not worth it. I'll afford it another time. I get just as much value from free stuff I find on the internet versus paying for stuff.

I don't waste my money on things like that. This is a big one. It's selfish to spend money on myself when I could be spending it on my kids, my spouse, my family, et cetera, et cetera. Okay, let me reframe this for you, but FYI, I want to say something before I reframe this. The, I don't have the money could be a legitimate excuse. So if you are struggling to pay your rent, you don't have food on the table and you are legit poor, then this is real. Okay, so I don't want to say like this is not real. And you're like, aw, I don't have so much to live Victoria. So there's a point in your life where you are able to work on things like your self actualization. I want you to have a look at Maslow's hierarchy of needs and work out where you are on that scale to work out whether you're ready to work on yourself versus you need to find a safe home.

You need to find love and acceptance and resources and then you can spend money on investing in yourself. So most people have a home, they have loved ones around them and they are now at this point where they are self actualizing, they are developing into the best version of themselves. Okay? And these are the people that I'm talking to, those who have resources, but they're not using their own resources to work on themselves because they say, I can't afford it. It's too much, all these type of stuff. So let me reframe it for you. We are only afraid to part with money if we don't understand or believe in the value of the thing that we are buying. Okay? So let me give you an example of that. So imagine if someone came to you and said, I've got this brand new, let's say an expensive fancy car and I'm selling it for $1,000 it's not a scam.

There's nothing wrong with it, but I'm selling it for $1,000. Now, and you knew that that call was worth 200,000 no scam involved. Is that worth the money? Even if you struggled financially, you would get that thousand dollars together cause you knew it's going to pay off, right? You were like, fuck yes, take my thousand dollars cause then you can go sell it for 300,000 or 200,000 or whatever it is. So it's not that you think something is expensive, it's that you don't value what you're going to get from it. So how much is it worth to you to have a positive relationship with your body and with food? This is a difficult question because you can't really value it because it's something that's valueless. What's the opposite of valueless? The most valuable? Priceless. Priceless. There's process. It's priceless, right? So if you had unlimited funds, if someone could wave a magic wand and make you feel confident in your body and feel peace around food, you would pay a shit ton of money for it.

And so then when someone says, hey, why don't you buy my book for $10 and this might help you feel a bit better and you're like $10 my confidence and self worth isn't worth $10. And once that teaching your brain that you're not worth $10, you're worth $1 million. Other times people say, oh, I really wish I could afford to invest in coaching or do that ecourse or whatever. I just don't have the money. And then you

know the types of people, then you see them and they're driving a new car and they've just bought a new flat screen TV or some new fancy iPhone and you're like, you don't have the money. Oh really? It's not that you don't have the money, it's just you're choosing to spend the money in different areas. Right? And the thing is when you have lower self esteem, we do this a lot because we don't value our own self development.

We don't value ourselves as much as we should, right? So kind of a catch 22 as well. Investing in yourself in something which you can see results or benefits immediately. You might see results pretty soon, but it's not something you can hold or touch, use or experience. And it's the hope that you're going to feel better. That's scary, right? You could be laying down thousands of dollars for coaching and nothing could happen. Then you could quote unquote waste your money. But if you buy a TV, at least you're going to be able to watch Netflix. Big screen in high definition, right? So it's inherently scary to spend money on something like this. But if you want to feel good, you got to get over it. So this excuse is rarely actually about money because if you really, really did want to feel good about yourself, if you are really committed to that, you'd make it happen.

You'd make it work. But most people, it's lip service, right? Then like I do want to feel better, but not if it means spending 100 bucks. I don't want it that much. And that's to me is bananas because the value that I have got from doing this stuff myself is priceless. It's incredible. It's changed everything in my life everything from the way that I relate to others, my relationships, my friendships might jobs. The fact that I am my own boss now, the things I do in life, I've done really scary shit. And if I hadn't worked on this stuff, I wouldn't be here. I'd be back in my hometown working in the call center that I was working. I'm not saying working in a call center was bad, but I hated it personally. I would be probably married to some loser and I'd be looking at my body thinking, Oh, I'm disgusting.

Probably going into weekly weight watchers meetings and fuck that shit! No way! I'm so glad I'm not there anymore because that was my life. Like I'm listening. Listen, I'm not picking it from the air. That was my life. So are you going to let go of this bullshit? All these things that you're telling yourself, all these lies that you're holding onto. By the way, none of this is your fault for believing this, so don't feel bad if you're like, yeah, all four over here. I believe all of them. It's fine. It's just the way that us humans are programmed, right? It's the way that we have been taught in our society to value things and to keep ourselves safe, right? So don't feel bad, but if you do actually really have a wonderful relationship with food and your body, you need to let go of those things. So grab that worksheet, the BS beliefs busting book, Below, and let's work on this. Let's get rid of these nasty asked beliefs that don't serve you and take action and move forward. I feel like a God damn queen. That is our video for today. We went deep, but a long one, but I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, make sure that you share it. Give me a like. Subscribe to my channel. I'll love you forever and I'll see you next time. Okay, bye.

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