How to be More Confident

It's DAY THREE of the Confidence Blog Carnival and I'm giddy with excitement over the whole thing!

Every day for 11 days there will be a brand new blog post on the topic of Confidence written by some of the top powerhouses in the body positivity, health at every size and confidence arena. This really is a killer line up so enjoy the second post from Summer Innanen, you can read the original on her website here or in full below.

Written by Summer Innanen

I always get asked, “how can I be more confident?” I’ve written before about how confidence is the ability to hear our fears and then take the action anyways (you can read that here).

 

So, why is it so hard to be confident? 

 

The reason being confident is so hard is because we think confidence happens without fear and self-doubt. We expect our fear and self-doubt to go away in order to be confident when the opposite is actually true.

 

Confidence comes with fear and fear avoidance prevents us from being confident.

 

 

We get stuck when we let the worst-case scenario story in our head overwhelm our ability to take action.

 

It’s totally normal to fear things like failure, rejection, judgment, embarrassment, vulnerability and shame. “Sign me up to feel those things!” <—- said no one ever.

 

If you went to an amusement park that had a rollercoaster taking people through these emotions, it would collect dust. Everyone would opt for the ride that’s on the opposite side of the park sandwiched between It’s A Small World and the patio with the never-ending $10 sangria jugs and funnel cakes (I think this patio is called heaven).

 

In order to build confidence, we have to get on that scary rollercoaster.

 

You don’t wake up one day and feel confident about something. You don’t wake up and think, “today I feel comfortable enough to wear a bathing suit.” You have to get on that scary ride and face your fears in order to build confidence.

 

You take the ride and realize that even though feeling that fear and dealing with excessive sweating is hard, you survived. The world keeps turning. The Bachelor has another rose ceremony. Maury reveals the results of another paternity test.

 

You realize it wasn’t such a big deal. In fact, you might even realize it was kind of exhilarating to do the thing you’ve been wanting to do. And so, the next time feels less terrifying.

 

 

With each ride you get more comfortable and you feel safer. When you feel safer, there is nothing to fear and your voice of self-doubt gets quieter.

 

Do that thing you want to do. Do it again. Repeat. This is how you build confidence.

 

Summer Innanen is a Body Image Coach who helps women to stop living behind the numbers on their scales. She helps women all over the world to ditch their diet demons and amp up their confidence through her private and group coaching at summerinnanen.com. She is the best-selling author of Body Image Remix: Embrace your body and unleash the fierce confident woman within and creator of the 21 Step Body Image Remix, a life-changing 21 day program that helps women to build unabashed body confidence.

She is also the creator of the flagship Rock Your Body online program dedicated to helping women break free of societal standards and be unapologetically themselves. You can also find her hosting the podcast Fearless Rebelle Radio, which is dedicated to empowering women to live life on their own terms.

Victoria is a Confidence and Body Love Coach at BAM POW LIFE. Learn how you can be exceptional at whatever you turn your hand to with free advice by signing up here. Read more articles, and get access to her FREE eCourse "Extreme Confidence Makeover" here.