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How To Be Self Confident

Confidence can be haaard. My confidence used to be in the pits of the Mariana Trench and when I was there I could see no way out, even if intellectually I knew I should “just feel better”. Check out these five things that really helped me increase my self confidence (in my mind and my body) and maybe they’ll help make you realise how freaking badass you are too!


1.     Audit your social media

We spend a shit ton of time on social media, and it can have a really powerful effect on our brain. Is Becky always posting about diets and how she is on this new laxative detox and she lost a thousand pounds in 3 minutes? Is racist Uncle Barry posting “the problems with millennials” articles and ranting about how things were better “in his day”? Is that girl you used to be friends with a gajillion years ago always sharing statuses saying “FML”. Do you follow fitness models on Instagram and feel sad in your brain when you see their toned abs? Get rid of that shit! Unfollow people, unfriend the friends you don’t actually like, hide people’s news from your feed.

2.     Be critical of the people you spend time with

I saw someone I hadn’t seen in a while and she said “Oh I like your hair, it’s so much better than before”. Bitch, my hair before was fabulous too! What about that one friend who is a size minus a hundred and she always complains of being fat for attention and only eats dust and celery. What about that one friend who scoffs when you share your goals? Get rid of that shit! There are always people in our lives who are impossible to get rid of (ahem, Uncle Barry), but if you have control over the people you see then ween yourself off the ones who make you feel like garbage.

3.     Catch the negative self talk

Often it’s so normal to talk whack about ourselves that it’s impossible to catch, but try! Try to replace that negative self talk with something else. That something else could be to talk to yourself like an animal. Say wha?! I’ve heard the advice “talk to yourself like you would your best friend”, but that’s easier said than done. That shit is too hard. Talk to yourself like an animal. Like in the image below. Because a lot of that time we talk to our pets better than ourselves.


4.     Do you have any reminders in your life of how you don’t measure up?

For example, do you own a set of scales. What do scales tell you? That you aren’t good enough, that you’re a failure (or that because you’ve lost weight you’re worthy). Why can scales hold the power to tell us if we are good enough? I haven’t got time for that and scales don’t live in my house. What about other things like clothes? Is your closet filled with skinny jeans that you’re going to slim into? All they are is reminder that you aint enough. Get rid of that shit!

5.     Now we have rid our lives of some shit, now it’s time to get the good stuff in

Follow inspirational people on social media. Follow women who look like you, fill your feed with diverse bodies and feel good stories. Can you make some new friends with kickass people or invest more in friendships that make you feel like the badass you are? How can you challenge your negative thoughts? How about writing affirmations around your house like “Your belly is adorable”. Finally add in items that make you feel glorious, a bright lipstick, a beautiful dress, whatever makes your heart pitter patter.


Remember, we are going to be dead real soon, so why live our lives at war with ourselves?