Susie - fierce fatty academy member
I was just not living before. I was a shadow of a person and I wasn't living my life at all. I was miserable, really miserable. Well, I've basically been on a diet since I was 18 and I was 44 when I started the course. I went from one diet to another, I Yo-yo dieted for all that time basically. So I was either completely restricting and being really brilliant at that or bingeing or just doing whatever. But my weight was up and down and I just didn't know that there was another way. I'm quite tall, I've got big feet. I always felt I was too big and too much and I had to do everything in my power to make myself smaller and thinner. That was what I had to do.
It's just been amazing. I could relate to you even watching your video. I was just really impressed with the information. The way it was delivered. It was so clear because once you start looking at all this information anti-diet culture and things. There's so much information out there that it's quite overwhelming. You just don't know what's what and it can get really sciencey and just love your tone of voice. I love your style, your delivery. And the course, it carried on being delivered in that really clear, concise way. It's funny, it's entertaining. It makes it relatable. I was just inspired by the whole thing. I've loved the calls where I've got to interact with you personally as well in the hotspots to keep the motivation going and the inspiration going as well. That's been a really key part of the course for me is basically, you.
I think we've got to get this message out and you're a brilliant person to do it, so I would recommend anybody in any shape or form to work with you. Well, I think my health would have deteriorated because I have done so many times done really serious VLCD, very low-calorie diets, crash diets, where there's no food. It's just total meal replacements, which I know is not very good for you at all. Knowing what I know now that my health I could well have damaged my health already in other ways. But if I'd carried on, I'm sure I would have had other health issues from how I was treating my body because I disliked myself so much.
I was very genuinely very judgey and because I didn't like myself, I was actually shutting love out of my life from other people, like my husband for example. When we've had issues in the last few years, I'd always thought, "Oh, it's him." I knew there'd be me involved as well, but I'd never sort of made the connection. So that's been really huge for me because now that I actually like myself, accept myself, love myself, I can let other people love me so much more easily. My life has really changed in that way over the last few months as well.
I was very much a perfectionist. Good girl, did everything right to please other people. Kept quiet and all the rest of it. So I didn't really feel that I shone my light or really did things that I wanted to do, in case I offended someone or in case I got it wrong. But I found doing this work has enabled me also to do things that I've always wanted to do and be braver and face my fears in other areas of my life as well. Me being ready to do this work was me being ready to train as a coach. And I absolutely, definitely would not have had the confidence to do that even a few months ago.
Just one word, anything. I was so held back by dieting and by my poor, negative body image because I was so self-obsessed. All my energy was going into trying to shrink myself, make myself smaller. So now because I feel better about myself. So I have the confidence to do things, but also I'm not spending all my time and energy trying to shrink myself. So I can use all that time and energy to do things that actually matter to me, aren't so self-obsessive. That's another side effect of having done the course. And that's something that's really stood out to me that I'm really, really pleased about.
The information on diet culture is a great place to start. The information on intuitive eating also was key for me because that's a practical, as well as all the other practical things, that is a practical thing for going forward. But the module that really stuck in my mind as being one that was so useful to me and I seriously do I think nearly everything on the list was the one with all the behaviors to create a new neural pathway. All of those things I did and I really enjoyed doing them. I just love that. I love that module.
Yes, fear of getting fatter. I have a fear of the word fat as well. So the fact that I was buying into something with the word fat and fat still meant negative, difficult things to me. There was reservations around the word fat and around me actually during this work, might make me fatter or I thought I was allowing myself all the foods, but, of course, I wasn't. I was still restricting and it's only very recently that I have allowed myself more food.
People think that I seem happier because I am happier because for start I like myself. That's a really good place to start for happiness. The energy shows. I'm a lot kinder, my kids have noticed. It's really affect my parenting style and I know that my husband has noticed the difference, the fact the way I am with my body and also the way I am towards him, letting the loving, I'm just much more of a forgiving person because I forgive myself.
And it's priceless. The experience of doing it, of working with you, of investing in myself, of making myself feel that I'm worth something, that I'm worth this work and worth the money. The experience is priceless. The feeling that I already feel now and how I know I'm going to continue because I know that I've only just started, but that's priceless. But also I'd say the amount of money that we spend on things linked to the diet and fitness industry that are a complete waste of money and things that we don't think twice about spending money on. If you stopped and thought about that and stopped spending money on things like that then you would have money to spend on other things because we spend so much money dieting as well don't we? Thanks again for the really brilliant course. It changed my life.
Mandy - Fierce Fatty Academy Member
Feelings that I'm left with when doing this stuff. Because it makes me happier. It makes me feel less awkward, less disgusting. My life before Fierce Fatty Academy was a little rough. I worked with Victoria in the past. It's definitely a process, this whole thing. Mostly, just coming to terms with my fat body. I would say I'm probably fatphobic when it comes to myself and only myself. It's tough coming to terms with myself when my whole life, I've been told all this negative. Definitely avoid things, going out, doing different activities that I want to do because fat people can't do that. Or, just the fear of being judged. Again, from all the negative feedback that I've gotten my whole life.
It's been amazing, you've been a godsend, really. Just the way even too that the courses are laid out, it's really easy to understand. The videos are amazing because it's ... You definitely have a new friend when you're doing these things. You're very comforting and warm and it's amazing working with you. I love it, I feel so much better.
Realizing that all of these messages, these negative messages have been thrown in your face so you have to through all the good stuff in your face. It just makes sense the way you put things and it's a process but it does get easier. Oh, absolutely, I have actually recommended it to a friend. I think it's life changing, I really do. The way you word things and the way you explain things, it just, it makes sense. I had a counseling appointment one time and they would just tell me, well, just instead of telling yourself that you're worthless, tell yourself that you are worth it. And it was just, how is that supposed to work?
You, you said the same thing but you explain why. And you explain it so perfectly and it's just easier to put things into perspective. How much it's helped me, how amazing you are and all the good information. You've helped me find hope and you've helped me find different coping mechanisms and different paths to take and different things to try. Oh gosh, so different. With these negative beliefs and stuff, you stop living. Doing this course you get the guts and the ... You get the tools to work on those fears. And it's life changing.
Definitely changed my views on diet culture and you bring to light the way diet culture is our lives and to make us more aware of that. I'm just more aware of that kind of stuff now. Yet, you don't realize how fatphobic that show is and you can see these things more clearly now. I think it helps from getting further lost into that diet culture, where you can say no, that's not right.
The whole thing. I loved the bonuses, I loved the group calls. The Facebook group, just the community, getting support from other people going on the same journey as me. You know I'm not alone, I'm not the only one that struggles with this kind of stuff. Just to get the support of people that are on the same journey, very helpful. No, 'cause I worked with you before and I knew it was gonna be amazing.
Victoria: I don't think you even watched the webinar before you decided to buy it.
No, right. New course, sold. Yes, mostly about my views on diet culture and fat bodies. My friend, she says that she notices a difference. Like when I was talking and raving about you, she had said, "Yeah, I notice a difference." I was like, "Yeah." Probably just more happy, wanting to do different activities. Try new things. I would say to go for it. You make it affordable. You can do it where it's more expensive or you can do the monthly payments and so you make it affordable and it's life changing. And it's so worth it. Your views on where your negative beliefs come from, diet culture, how it's thrown in your face.
It's just the way that everything is laid out as well. It's so easy. It's life changing. I have had suicidal thoughts and stuff like that in the past and since working with you, they're not there because I have the tools to get through this stuff now. And to stop my thinking and get it going down a different path. And just to realize that where all my negative self-talk and self beliefs come from. Yeah, it's life changing.
Bay - Fierce Fatty Academy Member
I need to get more confidence. I need to start working on me.
Before I started digging into any of this stuff, for a big chunk of my life, I spent a lot of time just kinda trying to minimize myself and trying to be unobtrusive and trying to be as easy going and sweet as possible. I didn't wanna be like an extra burden on people. I know a lot of the right answers, and I'm good at like writing down the right answers on paper. But kind of living the right answers is a lot harder.
It's been night and day difference for me, you know, since back then. I've been doing a lot of the work. I've been really trying to surround myself with more of the positivity, trying to cut out a lot of bad influences and generally trying to remind myself that the things I have to say actually matter, asserting myself and my place in the world and not caring so much what people think about me.
(Laughter). It is awesome. It's very empowering, and you're always so uplifting and cheerful and just like, you're just like a caffeine shot of positivity right into my day.
I would definitely say to go for it. In fact, I've sent links to some of your stuff to people. I'm like, "Hey, you know, I see you're having trouble with dieting. Maybe you wanna consider doing some of this." Everybody can benefit from this kind of stuff, and you're really good at it.
It's such a precarious anxiety-laden existence just trying to like balance on the knife's edge of like, "Well, I don't wanna like become anorexic, but at the same time I can't like have a milkshake because that's evil." And just this constant anxiety about being too much or eating too much or, you know, somehow doing it wrong, it takes over your whole life. It eats up so much of your mental resources so you don't have as much energy and time to spend on the things you like. Food is such an important part of our culture and going out to eat with people and spending half of that experience just like obsessing over, "What am I allowed to eat? Is this okay? Is that okay? Do I have to whip out my phone and enter in all these calories in this app?" Like it takes away from the enjoyment of just being together with people and sharing a meal.
The better I feel about it, and on the days when I'm doing better with it, everything's just easier, you know? It's just one less thing preying on my anxiety. It's like 30% increase in mental capacity. I'm just like, I could actually handle more stuff in my life. We've been watching Great British Bake-Off. There's no anxiety around like, "Oh, that looks delicious. Oh no, should I not eat that? Is it carbs?" It's all carbs and it all looks delicious. And I wanna eat all of it. I mean, I can't make any of that stuff but I wanna get into baking now.
Everything. Is that an answer? (Laughter). I love your handouts are so cheery and cute and fun. And the videos, again, just because of your sunny personality are so uplifting and fun.
Not really. Having done your Confidence Warrior stuff, I knew it was gonna be good.
When I realized like, "Oh yeah. It's because, like, knowing the answer isn't the same as having the habit of doing the right answer. And so just, reading about the stuff isn't quite the same as making an intentional effort to live it." You know what I mean?
One of my very close friends has been talking about how much more I seemed to have come out of my shell more and been more honest about my feelings and more sort of present and outgoing. Just becoming more comfortable being in the moment in my body more.
Absolutely do it. Absolutely. Because at the very worse case, you have a bunch of fun, cheerful, upbeat stuff going on. And then you're like, "Okay, that was fun." And you move on with your life. But best case, it could completely transform how you think about yourself and your body and your self esteem. Anybody thinking about doing the course, a lot of my friends, you know, aren't getting into this kind of stuff because, oh, they feel like they have to diet and this, that and the other, and it's just, you know, you really deserve to be happier than dieting is gonna make you. And I think doing a course like this is one of the ways to get to that place with more happiness.
Michelle - Fierce fatty academy member
Treating you like you're less of a human being just because you weigh more than what society says is acceptable.
I would still be going down the dieting cycle path. I would just be continuing that cycle of going on a new diet and feeling like a failure when I binge again because I've restricted something. So for me personally I would still be on that dieting cycle. It's just exhausting. I obsess about food when I'm on a diet, especially foods that I'm not supposed to have. So I start obsessing and I think about those particular foods all the time. It's exhausting because it's obsessive. I doesn't allow me to do other things. Even events that I go to I'm thinking about the food that's going to be there and how people may judge me if I'm sitting, nestled up with a bowl of chips. This is my thing. I don't want to worry about that kind of stuff anymore.
I'm just tired of doing that. I'm tired of trying to fit into a society standard that's unrealistic and I just don't want to do it anymore. I'm 47 years old and I've been doing it my whole life. I'm tired of it. I want to just enjoy life in a different way than worrying about what other people are thinking about me.
Limit myself on things that I've thought about wanting to do and convince myself, I can't do it why bother? I wouldn't try new things.
Anything is possible. If you can overcome being worried about what other people think about your body, than you can do anything. This is one of the hardest things ever. So many things around you that tell you that being fat is wrong. There's this scale. 90% of the world is telling you that this is wrong and 10% is telling you it's not. And so to overcome that 90% is huge. They have decided not to give up on my blog. I am so aware of diet culture now that I can't un-see it and because of that, I feel like I'm going to be less prone of falling into that trap of you need to try this new diet. I think that with the training that I've gone through with your course I'm going to be able to not fall into that trap anymore because I'm going to be way more aware of it when it's happening.
Things that I love the most was being able to connect with other women that are similar to me in the same kinds of situations. I like the fact that having somebody training on this course looks more like me because as you know, most of the people that are training in intuitive eating are very thin women. So for me, I feel like that keeps me in a diet mentality because I'm looking at those women thinking, I could be like that if I do intuitive eating and then it becomes another diet. I've heard of people turning intuitive eating into another diet.
Diet culture, the fact that I can see it in so many places now and I'm more aware of it, so I don't feel like I'm going to get sucked back into it. I have grown up into a family that has always clean your plate. At every meal, you need to clean your plate. You're going to sit there til you clean your plate. Well I've realized that that voice in my head doesn't have to be there anymore. I get to choose whether or not I want to finish what's on my plate and if there's something I don't like. I'm not going to eat it. I don't have to. So that was a big ah-ha moment for me because there was a lot of childhood crap that I pulled up doing that lesson.
To be honest, not a single one. The only thing that made me hesitate was in my current financial situation and you were able to help me work that out. Otherwise I have no fear or ... Yeah, I wanted to do it.
First off, I would say that Victoria is a very trustworthy person and she's very good at what she does and I wouldn't hesitate to join the class again. If it's a financial reason that you feel you can't, I would say, you're worth the money. Your health and wellbeing is worth that money. A therapist can cost you, I know for me personally $160 an hour. This is cheaper if you think about it you know, if you go to therapy once a month.
I sure have. Definitely have. One of the things is, I every once in a while I'm still struggling to accept my body the way it is. That happens I think to the best of us but it's becoming far less frequent so it's not happening as often as it used to. So I actually wanted to share a story with you. On Tuesday I went out to the grocery store. I had to pick up a couple of things and one of those things was a chocolate bar. I got home. I put it on the counter. A couple of hours later I went back into the kitchen where I'd left it and went, "Oh my God. I forgot I bought this candy bar."
And I was like, "How does that happen? That's not what happens to me." So that was probably the strangest sensation I have ever had. Usually that candy bar would have been gone in the car on the way home. And today is Friday and I still have not eaten that candy bar. And it's because I just haven't wanted it, not because I shouldn't. It's because I just haven't wanted it yet. So when that time comes you can bet damn well I'm going to eat that candy bar. It just hasn't happened yet. I really enjoyed this course.